Raoul woke up to the sound of hesitant knocking at the door. Cursing as he saw the sunlight streaming through his window, he pulled on a pair of breeches and opened the door. A penitent looking Kel stood in his doorway.

"Sir, the men are up for the most part and Lady Jaid says breakfast will be ready soon," Kel said looking and the floor. "And my lord, I am really, really sorry about last night."

Raoul held up his hand. "It's alright Kel. I got up to far worst antics then that when I was a squire, Mithros knows. Besides, I know how…persuasive Lady Jaid can be. Go get breakfast. I'll be down in a minute."

Raoul closed the door and rustled through his bags for his cleanest clothes. As he got dressed and washed up in the basin a maid had clearly come in and left, he thought about the night before. Realizing he needed to talk to Jai and make it clear that nothing more could happen, he headed down to the kitchen.

When he opened to door, his senses were bombarded by the whirlwind of activity. Maids and cooks were pulling bread out of ovens, whipping up eggs and pouring tea. Jai stood in the middle, shouting directions and arranging the food elegantly on large platters. When she saw him, she smiled at him and beckoned him over.

"Will you get some of the men to come in and help the maids carry the food out? We'll get you fed and back on the road in no time. Thankfully, the storm has passed, so you should have an easy trip back to Corus," Jai said, smiling up at him.

"Uh, um, oh, okay I'll go get some of the men," Raoul said awkwardly, confused by her business-like tone. He walked out and sent some of the men into the kitchen, deciding to stay in the great hall and talk to Buri and Flyn rather than go back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, the men returned laden with enormous platters full of food, followed by Jai. Jai picked up some bread and wandered over to Maggie. Raoul watched as the two girls moved away from other people and Jai whispered something in Maggie's ear. Both of them giggled, and Maggie turned to look at him, causing Raoul to blush.

"Raoul!" Buri shouted. "What is the matter with you? I asked you three times whether you wanted to make the trip back to Corus two or three days."

"N-Nothing is wrong," Raoul sputtered. "Let's go with one. If we only stop briefly for lunch, we should be able to get back only a couple hours after dark."

Buri looked at him suspiciously, but nodded. Raoul concentrated on not looking at Jai and talking coherently to Buri and Flyn for the rest of breakfast. After breakfast, he ordered the men to get the horses ready and rushed upstairs to pick up his things from his room, leaving the door open.

"I hope you enjoyed your stay," Jai said from behind him.

Turning around, Raoul saw Jai leaning in the doorway to his room, a bemused smile across her face. Her blue-grey dress was lower cut then most of her everyday dresses and the off-the shoulders sleeves exposed the lines of her collarbone.

Raoul smiled back at her. "I enjoyed most of it."

Jai raised an eyebrow, "Which parts didn't you enjoy?" she asked.

"You know exactly which part."

Jai laughed outright. "It seemed like you were enjoying yourself to me."

"It doesn't matter whether I enjoyed it or not. It wasn't proper. I am far too old for you and you're betrothed."

At his words, the smile slid off her face and she looked down at her hands. "Goddess I hate that word. Proper. It's an awful word. It has caged me all of my life." She looked up at him, her eyes glittering slightly with unshed tears. "I understand if you aren't interested in me, but please don't throw proper at me. I can't take any more proper in my life."

Acting completely on instinct, Raoul walked over and pulled Jai to him, unwilling to make her cry. He circled his arm protectively around her. She leaned her forehead into his chest, and he kissed the top of her head. Jai looked upward at him, a question in her eyes. Raoul leaned down and kissed her gently, a far cry from the bruising passion of the kisses from the night before. Kissing her gently, trying to reassure her, Raoul held her close.

"Raoul?" called Buri from down the hall. "You coming?"

Breaking away, Raoul shouted. "I'll be there in a minute."

Looking down, Raoul brushed a stray strand of hair behind Jai's ear and kissed her. Releasing her with a sigh, he reached down and threw his saddlebags over his shoulder. Jai reached out and clasped hands with him, pulling him back for one last kiss. He walked out the door, letting go of Jai's hand just before Buri would see him. Jai followed, walking silently next to him until they exited the castle.

She stopped in the doorway to the castle. "Have a safe journey, Lord Raoul," she said, conscious that Buri and some of the men were within earshot.

"Thank you, Lady Jai, for everything. We appreciate the hospitality," he responded, before settling his saddle bags onto Drum and hauling himself into the saddle. He lead the men out of the town and through the gates, turning back in time to get one last glimpse of Jai standing in front of the castle in her blue-grey dress, the sun making her white-blond hair shine brilliantly.

Once they reached the forest, a sense of guilt came crashing down upon Raoul. How could I do that? Lead her on like that. She's so young. She doesn't understand the consequences. I have to stop, he thought to himself. Another voice answered, She is 22. She knows exactly what she wanted. You enjoyed it. So did she.

But she is betrothed. It's dishonorable to get involved with a betrothed woman.

She is betrothed to an awful man. She deserves the happiness she can get.

You can't make her happy. The longer this goes the worse it will be.

It can't be wrong. It feels to right to be wrong.

What are you 19 again? Listen to yourself. You're attracted to her. You want to feel young. She's a beautiful girl. Just because your body responds to hers doesn't mean that's right.

Yes, she's gorgeous, but that's not everything. She's smart and funny and she deserves so much better than the life she got. Maybe she does not have to marry Vinson. She can say no.

And then what? Marry you? You're old enough to be her father.

I'm not that old.

Compared to her you are.

An eagle's cry interrupted his internal argument. The eagle swooped down and landed on Drum, who by now was use to this treatment. The eagle's head changed to take the form of Daine, Tortall's own wildwage.

"What a pleasant surprise Daine. How are you?"

"Good. I have information from the king. Earthquake and mid slides on the coast. The King wants you and the Own to go, but for the Riders to continue to Corus. I've got maps and such here for you," Daine said releasing a few papers from her talons.

"Thank you, Daine."

Raoul looked over the maps quickly and had a quick chat with Buri before leading Third Company and Kel towards the coast.

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Several weeks later, Raoul was still helping with construction and building up food stores in the costal town when a message from the crown arrived. Reading it, he called Kel over.

"What's going on sir?" Captain Flyn asked.

"Kel and I are headed back to Corus. They found out who kidnapped her maid."

Taking a deep breath, Raoul realized he wouldn't be able to avoid seeing Jai anymore, and he wasn't sure if he was sorry about that.

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Review! Please I'm begging you. This story has me filled with self-doubt. I HATE that.