Chapter 8

After the shopping was done and they walked home; the sun was setting and the last rays of sun shimmered on the ocean before disappearing behind the buildings of the city. Calleigh walked out of the bathroom in her pj's. She had already finished her nightly routine of a shower and a series of facial creams. She peeked inside Danny's room and found it empty. The hall, living room, and kitchen lights were off. A brief moment of panic took hold of her, but she quickly rationalized herself.

"Danny?" Calleigh called.

"I'm out here." Danny's voice floated in from the living room.

Calleigh followed it. The balcony doors were open and Danny was leaning in the railing in the shorts and tank top Calleigh had let her borrow. Now, Calleigh was tiny, but Danny was so tiny it made Calleigh clothes seem large. She watched the waves roll in and out on the shore a mere hundred feet out. Humidity and the scent of sea water filled her lungs. Calleigh stepped outside and leaned on the rail next to her.

"Are you okay?" Calleigh asked.

Danny scoffed. "If you have to ask that question, you should already know the answer. I'll be fine someday. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? That's what they say? What about those who are just too tough to die, but want to?"

"Have you been thinking of killing yourself?" Calleigh was very concerned now. She looked at Danny's face hoping to find an answer.

"No," A tiny smile formed on her lips, almost like she wasn't expecting anyone to care, "Not so much anymore." Danny looked at the blonde standing next to her. "I promise."

"Good. But you used to think about it?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Danny looked back at the water. In it came, and out it went.

"Okay." After that, they stood in silence for a time. Calleigh started the conversation back up, "I love the beach. Not the popular, crowded beach, but this right here. The way the waves move so smoothly. It's tranquil. It's the only reason I bought this apartment. Normally I would like to live on the ground floor, but the view from five floors up is just too amazing to pass up." Calleigh was smiling and watching the moonlight dance across the water.

"When I was little, my mom would take my brother, Matty, and me to the beach. My step-father was rich and we lived right on the lake, but we only had a dock so my mom would drive for hours just to get us to a beach. Now mind you, we didn't have anything like this, we lived on a little lake and the beach was a big lake. She used to tell us to run and dive in; the waters would wash us clean and take all our pain away. It worked for her I guess."

"I remember the first time I saw the ocean. Living in Louisiana, I told people I wanted to see the ocean. They all told me, 'you've seen the ocean', and I'd reply, 'I've seen the Gulf of Mexico! I wanna see the ocean!' When I arrived in Miami, I felt so at home. I knew this was where I wanted to live forever and swim in the water whenever I wanted. Which isn't so often anymore." Calleigh wanted this conversation to keep going. Danny was finally talking about her past.

"I haven't gone swimming since I was nine. Not the ocean, a lake, a pond, hell, not even a damn kiddie pool."

"Why not?"

"I watched my mother drown in the lake behind our house. The end of her pain was when mine truly began."

"Oh my god." Calleigh said quietly.

"I remember her and my step-father having yet another fight. There was a lot of yelling and commotion, and then he left. He always left. She always cried. That time she didn't. She went to her room and locked the door. An hour later I looked outside and saw her on the dock, untying the boat. I ran outside, but the boat was already too far away. I started calling for her, but it was like she was entranced. She just stared as she rowed the boat further and further away. When she stopped, I called to her again, screamed to her. She stood up and jumped in. She never came back up. She didn't fight it at all, she just sank. The next thing I knew, I was in the water and Matty was jumping in behind me and pulled me back to shore. My step-father moved us to Chicago two days later. We didn't have a funeral, a memorial, nothing. We weren't allowed to speak of her, or who we had been. That was the first time we changed our names. He always had the money to buy us new identities and new lives, but I never knew where it all came from."

"Danny, I'm so sorry." Calleigh set her hand on Danny's arm while searching her face. She didn't see sadness or longing, just resentment. There was a moment of stillness before Calleigh spoke again. "Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask, but that doesn't mean I'll answer."

"Why do you keep calling him your step-father? We've seen most of your records and he's been with you since you were too young to remember life without him."

"Because he's not my father! He manipulated my mother into letting him adopt me when I was three years old, but he makes the man who attacked me look like a saint. I used to believe that someday, my biological father would find me and come save me. That he spent his life searching for me, but just couldn't keep up. But that was just a stupid little girl's fantasy. If he had wanted me, he would have been there."

"I'm sure he wanted you. He probably didn't know about you." Calleigh reasoned.

"You know who he is, don't you?" Her eyes bore right through Calleigh. "My DNA, from the kit and the blood. You know who he is!"

"What makes you say that?" Calleigh hadn't realized she set her own trap until it was too late.

"You said wanted and didn't. Past tense. He's dead, isn't he?"

It was Calleigh's turn to tear up. She nodded her head, "Yes. His name was Tim. Tim Speedle. He was a colleague of mine. A close friend. He was killed in the line of duty last year."

"Of course he was." She said, like she should have known. Like her life was just too cruel to let him be alive, and she should have known it. Danny didn't ask about him, so Calleigh went back to her step-father.

"What did your step-father do to you? I want to help you, I really do, but I don't know how. I need to know some of the things you're hiding."

Danny's eyes were dark with pain, anger, shame, and regret. She looked straight at Calleigh. "I need some sleep."

With that, Danny stepped back into the living room and tip-toed to her room, as if she was afraid to wake someone. Calleigh was beyond frustrated. She didn't know how to talk to Danny. She wasn't a child psychologist. She did know one thing, her step father had hurt her, and she had a brother out there suffering too. She pursed her lips and gazed out at the horizon. Speed, I don't know what I'm doing here. You know, we all loved you and we miss you every single day, but now we are all left wondering how well we knew you. Did you know about her? All this time, you had a child out there. Did you even know she existed? I wish you were here. She needs a savior and I don't think I can be it.

She sighed. She looked at the moon before walking inside, closing the French doors. Then she too, headed to bed.