Fantasy

by Lois Fogg

Revised version of my old AU fic. Serena and Mamoru find love in an alternate universe about to be destroyed by a tyrannical wizard. Chickens, sword fights and Mamo-chan au natural!

9. Why I Should Have Stayed with the Fish

Author's Note: All right, here you have it! The last chapter! There's an epilogue to go, but we're mostly finished. Thanks for reading this. I'm glad that the more or less finished, edited version of this story has found an audience and a home, at last. Comment, if you like :)

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Book Seven: Why I Should Have Stayed with the Fish

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I tried to sit up, but my arms wouldn't support the rest of my body. Since none of my companions seemed to notice my difficulty, I tried again, this time with slightly greater success. When I looked up my eyes wouldn't focus. All I could see was a large and noisy brown blob coming towards us. I tried to say "what are we going to do," but my mouth couldn't form the words.

"What?" Mamoru asked, turning to me. I tried again.

"We have to get away from here," he said. "It must be the Kojin's men. Things escalated since we left, I guess."

"Um, excuse me," Lita said, "who are you guys, anyway? Where the hell are we? And an army? Like a hostile army?"

"There are people coming," Mamoru said. "They've already seen us. I don't think we can get away."

Lita and Mamoru stood up. Still on the ground, I realized that Mamoru had forgotten about me, and I was unwilling to ask for his help. Mustering all of my remaining strength, I staggered to my feet and reeled as blood rushed to my head. After some of the white cleared from my vision I saw that the army was still pretty far away, but two mounted soldiers were riding towards us.

Lita looked back and forth between Mamoru and me nervously. "Um, guys...really, I mean it, where are we?"

I sighed. "Another world," I said. "A country called Umeru."

"Jesus Christ," Lita said, but she sounded more excited than anything. "Can I ask one more question?" she asked, when the horsemen were only forty or fifty meters away.

"Quickly," I said.

"Can I stay here?"

I had to laugh. "Why don't you ask them?" I said, gesturing to the two riders who had stopped before us.

If their armor were half as functional as it was visually effective, this army should be unbeatable. They wore huge helmets with ornate decorations in red, black and gold that made them look demonic. This image was not helped by the massive bows that they trained on the four of us. The men were well armed; in addition to the bows, each wore a large sword on his back and a smaller one at his hip. The rest of the armor that covered their bodies was made, it seemed, from plated bamboo.

"In the name of his lordship Nakatomi Arima, I demand to know your identity and business on this road," said the rider to my right, whose arrow was trained at Mamoru's heart.

"We are travelers," Mamoru said, guarding his name for some reason that I did not understand. "We have no business different from any other on this road."

"You must be very strange travelers, then," the man said, a hint of sarcasm in his gruff voice. "A man and three young women appear, unarmed, in foreign clothing, on the most dangerous road in the country, and fail to pay respects to the returning entourage of Nakatomi Arima."

"Returning entourage?" Mamoru said, "He has returned from the continent?"

"He left immediately after hearing of the Kojin's insurrection. So, understandably, we have a reason to be wary of 'travelers' such as yourself."

"I assure you, if you give me an audience with his lordship, he will not regret it. We have invaluable information that can lead to the defeat of the Kojin."

"What sort of information?" The soldier's bow didn't waver.

"About the Lady."

"Why should I believe you?"

"You shouldn't. But if I am telling the truth, and you kill me, then you will come to regret it. We are unarmed, as you can see, and harmless. Take us to see Nakatomi. You will not be disappointed."

The man paused, and then looked at his partner. After a moment they nodded.

"Come with me," he said gruffly, while the second rider moved behind us. I knew as soon as they started walking that I wouldn't be able to make it. I stayed where I was, precariously holding onto consciousness.

"Move!" the man behind me ordered, and despite the arrow pointed at my back, I couldn't find the energy.

"Serena," Mamoru said, "what are you doing?"

More than a little angry with Mamoru, I took a step forward and felt the abrupt sensation of disengaging with my body.

"Bastard," I said, before I made full contact with the ground.

---------------------

When I regained consciousness, I was first aware of Mamoru. My head was cradled in his chest. For a while I simply contented myself with lying there in a groggy half-stupor and let the angry voices wash over me. After a few moments, however, I gradually grew aware of the conversation.

"...take care of her!" Mamoru was saying. Agitation made his heart beat rapidly.

The other person, whoever he was, sounded a bit calmer.

"I have to do no such thing. You still have not told me your identity, and you are no mere traveler. I have never seen clothes like those before, and my general tells me that you mentioned something about the Lady. What do you know, and why won't you tell me? I begin to think that you work for the Kojin."

Mamoru bridled. "You slur my honor, sir," he said. "I will tell you all you need to know if you simply promise me to take care of this girl."

"My word is not to be given lightly, traveler, and you still have not told me your name."

"If I tell you, do you promise to take care of her?"

There was a pause while the man hesitated, "I agree," he said finally.

"Chiba Mamoru."

"Chiba..." the man said, and then his voice caught. "Mamoru? From what prefecture?"

"Ikeba."

There was another silence, and I felt the tension in the room. Mamoru was holding his breath.

"Aiko was a beautiful woman. You bear a strong resemblance." At his words I felt Mamoru resume normal breathing, although there was still a strange tension in his body. "I give my word that the girl and the others will be seen to, to the best of my ability." I heard the man step closer. "What ails her?" he asked.

"Exhaustion, as far as I can tell," Mamoru said.

Oh, so you finally noticed, I thought. I heard the sound of someone else enter the room.

"Take her back to my tent," the man said, "and let her sleep. Bring the other lady here."

I wanted to stay, but before I could say so, I left the reassuring warmth of Mamoru's body as he handed me to an attendant. Away from him I found myself slipping away again, and within minutes I drifted to far more comfortable shores.

---------------------

I knew it was nighttime when I awoke again, because the light of two moons shone through the tent. I rolled over and saw Mamoru asleep. His hand was lightly draped over my torso, tousled hair falling over his contented face. He was sleeping on the ground, and I wondered why he hadn't found a bed. I smiled softly and brushed my hand over his cheek, relishing this unguarded moment of love. How many of these would we have in the days to come? Under my touch Mamoru stirred, and then awoke, looking around in confusion. Once he saw me he relaxed.

"You're awake," he said. "How do you feel?"

"Not so good," I said. "Remind me never to do that again."

He smiled a little, and it was a gentle, utterly truthful smile that almost pained me to see. Slowly, I raised my arms and wrapped them around his head, lowering it to my stomach. He lay there and held my waist tightly while I stroked his uncut hair.

"I'm sorry," he said, after a few minutes. "I was...preoccupied. It's not an excuse. If it's any reassurance, I was very, very scared when I saw you lying there."

"It's okay, Mamoru. It's okay. We take care of each other. I watch out for you just as much as you watch out for me. And if one of us messes up...we're human. Don't try to take it all on yourself."

Mamoru found my free hand and squeezed it tightly. "Serena, I..."

"Yes?" I asked, yawning.

"Never mind."

---------------------

Far too early the next morning, Mamoru's gentle but insistent hands awoke me. With resignation, I opened my eyes, and saw Lita and Mamoru's faces hovering above mine.

"What's going on here?" I asked through a yawn. How was it possible to feel this tired? I had always known that magic drained some energy, but I had never felt anything approaching this level of exhaustion before.

"Mamoru, this had better be important," I said.

"It is. The army rides out at dawn, and you two still don't know what's been happening."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. "Just try not to be too long about it, okay?"

"Right, well, this is the army of Nakatomi Arima, the princesses' first cousin, and next in line to the throne. Outside of the immediate royal family, he is the most powerful political figure in this country. He was serving as ambassador in the Cho'u empire, but it appears that he came back here as soon as he heard of the Kojin's uprising."

"So where are we going?" I asked.

"They were originally headed for the palace, but...those maps. I didn't tell you this before, Serena, but several of them are of this country. And not just the country, they are maps to his stronghold. He put them on your world because he never expected anyone to find them there. But now that we have them, and we've found this army, we have a real chance of destroying his power forever." Mamoru looked intense as he said that, almost angry.

"So you're planning on directing Nakatomi Arima's army to the Kojin's stronghold, and attacking him there?" I asked.

He winced a little and then nodded.

"How many soldiers do we have?"

"A little over a thousand."

"And the Kojin?"
"I don't know for sure...at least five thousand."

"Five thousand plus god knows how many magical guards in a frozen wasteland...this is on the Northern island, isn't it?" He nodded. "So, that up against one thousand ground troops tired from traveling, you and me."

He hesitated, and then nodded again.

"What does Lord Nakatomi think of this?"

"He agrees with me. It's our only chance," he said.

"I hope you're right, Mamo-chan," I said softly. "I don't know much about this stuff, but to me it sounds like suicide."

Mamoru looked away from me and shrugged his shoulders. "It may be," he said, even more softly.

"Are you serious?" Lita asked. "What about the book? I thought that was important somehow."

"That won't do us much good until we can get it to Petunia--"

"Who's Petunia?" Lita asked.

"Herman's--the Kojin's sister. She's on our side," I said. "Anyway, I don't think I have a prayer of understanding it, so we have to find her."

"Can't you just contact her on your bond?" Mamoru asked.

I shook my head. "I'm totally drained. I don't have enough energy to light a candle, let alone contact Petunia. We'll have to wait a few days, or maybe she'll find us. Regardless," I said as I levered myself into a sitting position. "This has become too dangerous for you, Lita. In a few days I can send you back to your world, where you'll be safe."

"Are you kidding me?" Lita said. "Armies, magic, evil bad guys and you want me to leave? I don't think so."

"Lita, you're nuts. We may lose, you know," I said. "And you have to face it: if we die, you're going to be stranded here without anyone."

"I don't care," Lita said. "I may be nuts, but I'm going to be nuts and fun, not sane and boring."

Well, I thought, smiling with her, there's no accounting for taste.

---------------------

Afterwards, Mamoru helped me into an ox cart, since we both agreed that I wasn't up to riding today. Lita came along to keep me company. While we still wore our modern clothing, Mamoru had managed to find some clothes more appropriate to his world. Not like I minded: when it came down to it, I would take jeans over a kimono any day. The cart was filled with supplies for the army, bringing up the rear of the supply train.

"Hey, what's in these boxes, anyway?" I asked Mamoru, wrinkling my nose at the strange smell.

"Fish," he said.

"Great," I said. "Now I'm going to smell like seafood."

After we were settled in, Mamoru paused and then held my hand tightly.

"What is it?"

"I just wanted to say...I mean," he took a deep breath and then continued, "I promise that you'll survive this."

He left before I could even think of what to say.

"He always does this," I said. I smacked the side of the cart.

"What's wrong?" Lita asked.

"I hate it when he's so overprotective."

"I don't know...I thought it was pretty romantic myself. To have a guy willing to give his life up for me--"

"That's just the problem!" I turned towards Lita. "Mamoru is always willing to sacrifice himself, but he refuses to let me take my own risks. He doesn't want my death or injury on his conscience, but what about mine? I don't want him to die for me, damn it. It's not chivalrous, it's selfish!"

Lita looked stunned for several moments before she tentatively put her arm around my shaking shoulders.

"Shh, it's okay, Serena," she said quietly. "I'm sure you two will work it out."

"If he doesn't die first," I said.

---------------------

I fell asleep soon after that. By the time I awoke again it was midday. Lita was dozing on the fish boxes, and for some unknown reason, the cart had stopped moving. After I sat up, I realized that this was because the entire army had inexplicably stopped in the middle of the road.

"Um...excuse me?" I said to the driver's back. He grunted in response. "Um...if you don't mind my asking, why are we stopped?"

"Plague," he said, not bothering to turn around. "It's in the next village."

"Plague? But...I thought that the Kojin had stopped sending it."

"A plague is a plague. Doesn't matter who sends it. It still spreads."

"Oh," I said, taking this in. Of course, I had forgotten that by creating a disease, Herman had made a force that could take a life of its own.

Suddenly, I had the strangest idea. "Where is the village?" I asked. "All I see here are rice paddies."

"The farms. The village center is about half a mile that way." He pointed to his right.

"How long will the army be stopped here?"

"Gotta check all the men," he said. "Weeding out the locks and the shivers, you know. Two more hours, maybe."

"Thank you," I said. If the cart had been filled with tea, or vegetables or anything that did not smell quite so bad as dried fish, I probably would have bided my time and stayed. The fumes, however, seemed to have addled my brain. So, I jumped off the side. My legs wobbled precariously on impact and I gripped the side of the cart to keep from falling. Lita didn't stir. I took a step forward, pleased that my balance had improved slightly. I had to see that village, and no small thing like magical exhaustion was going to stop me. Besides, compared to yesterday, I felt like an Olympic athlete. I took another step and, with nothing to steady myself, fell over.

---------------------

It took me a little over an hour to walk the half-mile to the village. The path through the rice paddies to the village was strangely deserted, especially given that there was an army less than a mile away. As I made my slow way towards the village center, the eerie quiet grew more pointed, punctuated only by the sounds of villagers walking, horses whinnying, and babies crying. These, of course, are all normal sounds of a village, but the sheer absence of any human voice or pleasant conversation made my heart beat faster. At first I saw no outward signs of a plague, but as I walked closer to one particular shed on the outskirts of town, I grew aware of the cloying, overpowering smell of rotting meat. Even though I was terrified of what I would find, I walked behind the shed, where the smell was most powerful.

The man was old, and the distorted, grayish color of his face told me that he had been dead for quite some time. His clothes were tattered--he had probably been a beggar. I stared for a terrified moment before I emptied the entire contents of my stomach on the ground. When there was nothing left, I ran until the smell no longer lingered in the air. My memory of his face, however, was harder to escape. Taking a deep breath, and spurred on by equal measures of determination and adrenaline, I walked further into the village. As I calmed down, I became aware of a growing rage within myself. I had spent months hearing about the plague, but I had not once witnessed it first hand. All this time, I had been fighting against what was, to me, an abstract evil. These villagers, however, were forced to deal with it every day. If I had possessed any doubts about the worth of my mission, they were eradicated.

As I neared the heart of the town, what few pedestrians there were avoided looking in my direction. My clothes marked me as a stranger. As I walked through the streets, I noticed that many of the houses were boarded up, and I wondered if they had been abandoned or if all the occupants had been claimed by the plague. At first, when I neared a small, cylindrical fixture in the middle of village square I didn't know what it was. I should have, of course; during my months trekking through this world on horseback and on foot, I had seen and drunk from my share of wells. Except, every other public well I had been to--especially at this time of day--had been crowed with people. This well was completely deserted. In fact, the few people on the street seemed to be avoiding it. I wondered if it had been contaminated, somehow.

I stopped a few yards away. Suddenly, I felt close to fainting. Even as I stood there, I could feel white encroaching on my vision. I shook my head and continued walking to the well, although my continuous shivering hampered my pace. I couldn't imagine why I felt so cold; I could have sworn the temperature was over seventy when I left the cart. I sighed, and peered over the edge of the well.

I had already noted the quiet dignity with which these villagers bore their disaster. I saw no outright pandemonium, no babies dying on the streets--nothing I had been led to expect from movies and novels. Only now did I realize that their outward stoicism only hid the same horrors.

The well was clogged with dead bodies, perhaps five or six. I could only imagine how they got there. Perhaps, like the bubonic plague, they had been driven mad with thirst and jumped into the well to slake it. Perhaps they had killed themselves to avoid the agony of the disease. Perhaps the living had tossed them in there after they died, but why would any sane villagers willfully destroy their only clean water source? The one body I could see clearly was that of a woman, no older than myself. Her open, glassy eyes stared up through the water, and her mouth was slightly parted, as though she were singing. Her long black hair lay delicately on the water, obscuring my view of the other bodies. Her clenched hands still held onto her shredded blue kimono, a wedding dress. I stared for as long as I could bear, then I collapsed on my hands and knees in the dirt and suffered through a bout of dry heaves. How had this woman ended up at the bottom of a well in her wedding dress? I would never know, but the question made me shudder with revulsion. Herman had torn these people's lives apart, all for the sake of one stupid princess.

The few people in the streets were pausing now to look at me and whisper among themselves. Would my fate be the same as the nameless bride's? I began to panic. I tried to stand up, but my legs would not respond to my frantic demands. I had reached my absolute limit; if anything, I felt more exhausted than yesterday. I crawled forward, wondering if I should ask one of these people to help me, knowing that they probably wouldn't. It didn't matter anyway, because as soon as I opened my mouth to speak, I was overcome with an unbearable coughing fit. I collapsed fully to the ground, aware of the growing crowd. No one could save me, this time. Mamoru and the others had no idea where I was. The shivering returned with more severity, and as I bit my lip to keep from crying out, I wondered what was happening to me. Could I have possibly caught the plague in so short an amount of time? That danger had never occurred to me.

"Is it the death?" the lady closest to me asked, fear in her voice.

"It must be," said the woman next to her, "get the men to toss her in the well and be done with it."

"But we don't even know who she is," said the first.

"Who cares? Do you want to die?"

Their disturbing conversation was cut off when a man entered the clearing. I saw through partially opened eyes that he was perhaps sixty, and the immediate silence that descended upon his arrival showed the respect these villagers accorded him. Two boys, each no older than ten, walked close by him, as if for protection.

"We should not make hasty decisions," he said, and I silently echoed his sentiment. "First we must see if she does have the death. We should also find out who she is." I grew nervous again; his words were hardly reassuring. I watched helplessly as the man directed the two boys to approach me. They did so with extreme caution. Their hands were wrapped with linen cloth in an effort to inhibit infection. At the doctor's direction, one boy grabbed my arm, and began to move my elbow back and forth. I now understood why the hostess at that inn so long ago had insisted on moving my joints to see if I had the plague. Over the past several minutes they had practically locked in place, which made moving them sheer agony. I tried to stop myself from crying out, but eventually I lost the struggle. I heard the collective gasp from the crowd and I knew that I had already damned myself. It would only be minutes before they decided to toss me into the well.

The doctor approached me, stopping perhaps five feet from my body.

"Who are you, dear?" he asked. "I wouldn't give you to the well myself, but I'm afraid that they won't have it any other way. At least give me someone's name, so I can tell them what happened to you."

I fought to speak, and eventually I managed to do so over the coughing that threatened to take me over again. "Serena," I said, and barely recognized that rasping voice as my own. "My name is Serena. I...I have no family. Tell Mamoru."

"Mamoru?" he asked, "Does he have a surname?"

"Chiba...Mamoru." A few solitary tears coursed down my cheeks. I wouldn't see him again. I would die like this, on the dirt in a foreign town, half a mile a way from Mamoru but still too far.

At least the man's face held some compassion, which was far more than I could find on the hardened visages of the villagers. "I'm sorry," he said. "Mina you return to the earth." He stood up, and dusted his clothes. "You can do what you like with her. You know how I feel." I watched as my last remaining hope exited the crowd, and then closed my eyes.

The moment that followed seemed to exist in a space outside of time. I floated within my mind, remembering how it felt to be kissed by Mamoru that first time, and how it felt to make love. No matter what else my life had been, I could be grateful for him.

At first, I didn't quite understand the shouts of surprise from the crowd, largely because I was hallucinating, and hearing Mamoru's voice as well.

"Where's Serena?" the hallucination said angrily.

I opened my eyes. We saw each other at the same time. He was standing by a dark brown horse who panted heavily from what must have been a headlong gallop to the village. Mamoru's face was drained of color.

"Serena?" he said softly, pain in his voice. After that moment's shocked pause, Mamoru rushed forward and picked me up. I bit my lip against the pain in my joints, and buried my head in his chest, breathing that scent I had never expected to smell again.

"What would you have done to her?" he shouted to the crowd. "Would you have killed her, tossed her into the well? Is that what you do with all of your sick, now?" There was no response, but he knew the answer. "You don't even know who this girl is, and you planned to kill her? You are all less worthy of respect than dogs." I shuddered at the icy hatred in his voice. He walked slowly through the crowd, and they gave him a wide berth. The horse followed us as we walked out of the village, through the deserted streets. I began to shiver again, and his arms tightened around me.

"It's okay, Serena," he whispered, his voice shaking slightly, "Lita found me. Told me you had left, she didn't know where. The Lady...Petunia found out what happened to you. She was the one who told me...before it was too late. She has a house, we're almost there."

"I'm...sorry," I said, masterfully suppressing most of the coughs that threatened to spill over. "I was so stupid." I could not manage to get any more out. He paused until I finished coughing, and when he spoke again the tremor in his voice was more noticeable.

"Shh, Serena. Don't worry. This is...this is all my fault. I should have known..." he trailed off. Should have known what? Known that I was stupid and couldn't be trusted to walk three feet on my own without getting into trouble?

"We're here," he said. I heard Petunia's frantic voice as she ran up to us.

"How is she?" she asked, putting her hand to my forehead. She drew it back almost immediately.

"I don't know," Mamoru said, but Petunia had already moved on.

"This is bad," she said, and Mamoru's body stiffened at her words. "How could you have wandered into a plague village when you were already so exhausted?" she said to me, and then sighed. "Take her inside. The plague affects the joints severely, this must be incredibly painful for her."

While true, I wish she hadn't said so in front of Mamoru. He didn't need another reason to feel guilty. The "house" was a small one-room cabin raised on stilts above the marshy ground. Inside, Mamoru placed me down gently on a sleeping mat near the fire. Despite his care, the pain in my joints made me cry out involuntarily.

"Serena," I heard Petunia say. "Drink this. You'll feel better."

I swallowed the revolting concoction.

"She'll go to sleep now," Petunia said to Mamoru, and even as I tried to debate that assertion I fell away from reality with disturbing ease.

---------------------

I awoke what must have been later that night, shivering with cold despite my proximity to the fire. I felt muddy-headed, probably with the residuals of Petunia's medicine. I wanted to shift my position, but moving had become too painful. Petunia and Mamoru were engaged in a heated argument, and it seemed as though it had been continuing for a while. With resignation, I recognized myself as the topic of conversation."You have to go with the army, Mamoru-kun," Petunia said, her voice firm despite the affectionate diminutive.

"You can't expect me to leave her like this!"

"I assure you that I am fully capable of taking care of her without you."

"That's not what I'm saying! I know you can take care of her. It's just...I would never forgive myself if..."

"If what, Mamoru?" Petunia asked.

"I didn't know what to expect when Lita told me she had disappeared, when you told me that she was in trouble in the village. I just left, but Lady, if you had seen her there, lying in the dirt, surrounded by an angry mob of the ignorant villagers that she was trying to save...I just can't leave her here. I can give Lord Nakatomi the maps, he can travel to the Kojin with his army by himself--"

"Lord Nakatomi, powerful though he may be, cannot defeat the Kojin without you."

"I can't believe that's true! I'm just some stupid village boy. Somehow I got roped into this mess, but I'm not necessary. She is though; that's why I have to protect her."

"Mamoru, don't you understand? Herman is afraid. That's why he spends so much time and energy chasing you and Serena, because you threaten him."

"How? Tell me, Lady, how do I threaten him?"
She paused. "I don't know," she said finally. "But I know my brother, and I know when he is terrified. You terrify him, Mamoru. That's why you must continue without her."

Mamoru shook his head violently and slammed his fist on the floor."Whether you know it or not, you're important," she said. "To be honest, I'm the most dispensable, and Herman is my own brother! I want to stop him, Mamoru, but I know I can't, so I do what I can. That's what we all have to do. I can take care of Serena, you can fight Herman. Hopefully, we won't be long. We will catch up with the army in Yonde."

"Lady, I just can't..."

I could see Petunia lose the battle with her patience. "If you love her so much, then why didn't you do anything for her when it counted? You knew how exhausted she was, so where the hell were you?"

I had never heard Petunia's usually courteous speech degenerate so fully into the vernacular. Her words made me flinch, and I could only imagine their impact on Mamoru. Why couldn't anyone seem to acknowledge that this situation was my fault? I had expected more from Petunia. The silence stretched for over a minute, punctuated only by the popping of the fire. Finally I heard Mamoru's voice, low and dejected.

"I humbly defer to your wisdom, Lady," he said. His formality surprised me. "It is, I suppose, better this way. I allowed this to happen, and I have no right to stay by her side now."

"It's okay, Mamoru," I said. The two turned abruptly at the sound of my voice.

"You're awake?" Petunia said. "That drink I gave you should easily have lasted through the night." She and Mamoru shared a worried look before she came over to me, and tentatively felt my forehead with her hand. She sucked in her breath, and stood up quickly.

"Stay with her for now," she told Mamoru, "it's getting worse. I have to get some herbs...I need to make the drink stronger."

After she left Mamoru stared at me helplessly. His expression was so disturbed that I held his hand, ignoring my protesting joints. I relaxed as he stroked my hair, and my shivers subsided.

"Mamoru," I said, willing him to trust me, "this isn't your fault. It's mine. You know how often you say I'm stupid, right? Well, I made a really stupid decision, and it's my fault. You don't...you can't blame yourself for every bad thing that happens to me. We take care of each other, remember? Just do me a favor this time and go with Lord Nakatomi. Please." He looked as if he were on the verge of trusting me, but those few sentences were more than I could say without coughing. He held me until I finished, and when I opened my eyes again I felt jolted to see the unmistakable glint of a tear on his face.

"I'm sorry, Serena," he said, "I just can't forgive myself."

---------------------

Moments later Petunia returned. She took a few minutes to prepare the drink and then made me drain the glass. Mamoru stared at me as I lay there. Already, sleep was reclaiming me. His deep blue eyes were somehow unreadable, but held such pain that I ached for him. I had done all I could, but the knowledge did nothing to reassure me.

"I'll see you soon," I said, when I realized I would be dead to the world in mere minutes.

He smiled, and brushed my cheek. "I'll be waiting."

I knew he would, but within me was a growing fear that I wouldn't be alive to meet him.

---------------------

The period that followed could have lasted a year or mere hours. I didn't know-- time had lost its meaning for me. I drifted in, out and between consciousness. In my lucid moments, I was aware of Petunia's constant presence: doggedly reassuring, but failing to hide the worry that lurked behind her eyes. Mamoru had left. I knew this because I called out to him in my delirium, and though I could have sworn I heard him answer, the reassuring grip on my hands always belonged to Petunia, and the gentle voice always held her distinctive cadence.

I measured my life in the space between one painful breath and the next, catalogued in my brief respites from delirium. Nothing had prepared me for the gruesome horror of this plague, all the more terrifying because it left no outward mark on the body. Every movement was torture, and nothing but my swollen joints revealed that. Although I had not thought it possible, my cough grew worse during that interminable time, making any speech on my part impossible.

Sometime during this period, I awoke from drug-induced slumber to the sounds of a quiet cabin. Sun streamed in from the open door and windows, revealing Petunia slumped on a pillow next to me. My body spasmed, and I let off a groan of pain. Petunia awoke with a jerk and knelt next to me as I suffered through it. I felt her magic seep into my body, gently relaxing my muscles. From her tired expression, I could tell that she had performed this and many other tasks several times before, and the strain was beginning to wear on her. I wanted to speak to her, but doing so through our bond would probably be safer than aloud.

"I'm dying, aren't I?" I asked silently.

Petunia jolted upright, probably surprised that I had recovered enough to even do that much. She spoke aloud, perhaps to prevent me from reading the overtones of her thoughts.

"You'll survive. I promised Mamoru-kun."

"Idiots," I said, feeling myself drift back into unconsciousness.

She smiled tentatively. "Just so long as you're alive to tell us both that to our faces."

---------------------

My condition gradually improved. The recovery was slow, however, and I realized that unless I got much better much faster, I would not have a chance of defeating Herman. Petunia must have known as well, but over the days that followed we avoided the subject of my recovery. Petunia continued to give me what help she could without much aid of magic. Herman, she informed me, had specifically designed his plague to be impervious to magical cures, specifically those of his sister. She could only treat the symptoms.

I knew that my stupidity was threatening to ruin her last chance of stopping her brother. In spare moments, she would pore over Herman's book, desperately searching for any clue he may have overlooked that would give us the key to the seventh moon. I knew that she had counted on me to use its power when she couldn't. She never said this to me. In fact, she never rebuked me once for my carelessness, but her kindness made me feel even guiltier. I discovered, to my frustration, that no amount of self-will seemed to speed up my recovery. In fact, any overexertion on my part only brought back the more painful symptoms of the plague--especially the hacking cough. Sometimes I coughed blood, but neither Petunia nor I commented. My joints were still painfully stiff, although not quite so bad as they had been that first day.

Part of what kept me in denial for so long was the thought of Mamoru--I didn't want him to blame himself for what had happened to me. It was this sort of avoidance mentality, I believe, that drove Petunia to start teaching me magic.

She first brought up the subject after I had been there for over a week. While far recovered from the touch-and-go state of the first few days, I still could not stay awake for more than hours at a time, and any sort of physical exertion--even eating--left me completely drained. Mentally, however, I was getting a little stir crazy. Therefore, I did not object when Petunia knelt by the bed, carefully arranging her surprisingly sober light green kimono, and started to explain the dynamics of spell casting. She probably realized that engaging me in an extensive conversation would be unnecessarily exhausting, so she just talked. Half the time she must have thought I was sleeping when I closed my eyes to relax, and sometimes I did drop off.

"Magical ability," Petunia said during the second day of her lessons, "is something one is born with, but skill must be learned. Some people have a more natural gift than others, and it seems this is inherited. Herman and I, for instance, can both use magic with remarkable felicity. Many people in your world have some magical ability, but almost always on a level far below yours or mine. The Masons, for example, are a group quite well known for their magic users, particularly their politicians. Your talent though, Serena...you are one of the strongest magic users I've ever encountered in my life. It's hard to tell how much power another person has until they use it, but what you did to get here--traveling with two extra people, their clothing and two books--and still getting within a few miles of me was...well, it would have killed a lesser magician. With even two years of training, you could be at Herman's level. Now...we'll see what we can learn about the seventh moon. I only hope that it will be enough to stop my brother."

---------------------

That night I had a relapse. My fever skyrocketed, and I lost all the progress that I had made over the past few days. Petunia helped me through the night with more of her quiet reassurance, but she could not mask the worry on her face. By dawn, when the fever threatened to go even higher, Petunia stripped me of my clothes and picked me up. This would have been quite a feat of strength two weeks earlier, but I had lost so much weight that she performed the task easily. Lacking the energy to wonder what she was doing, I rested helplessly against her while she carried me outside. We were greeted by a clear dawn and mild weather, but I was in no condition to enjoy it. My head pounded furiously, and my joints burned with each step Petunia took. I bore all this stoically. There is a point, I discovered, when one can become so used to misery that it doesn't produce the same reactions that it did before. Instead of groaning or crying, I thought of Mamoru and willed myself to survive. Eventually Petunia arrived at a small stream, perhaps five feet across and of indeterminate depth. She dunked me in first and then climbed in after me. The shock of the frigid water seemed to clear some of the haze from my head and I sat limply in the water while Petunia held me. I felt her use magic to make the water even colder, and gradually the relentless heat trapped in my body receded. I felt Petunia behind me as she used her magic to ease the pain in my joints. I relaxed gratefully into the frigid water. About two hours later, Petunia, shivering with cold, picked me back up and carried me to the cabin.

"The fever's gone down," she said through chattering teeth.

"Go to sleep," I said hoarsely. "I'll be okay."

I thought she would disagree, but I could see the lure of rest overcome her compunctions, and she barely managed to take off her wet kimono before collapsing on her futon.

---------------------

Petunia slept as though dead until evening, and I made no move to wake her. What rest she had received over the past two weeks had been sporadic. The pinched, worried look around her mouth relaxed, and she did not seem to mind the strands of frizzy white-blonde hair that fell into her mouth. I slept fitfully, and around noon I awoke with a frightening sense of dislocation. Mamoru's presence had been so real in my dreams that upon waking I couldn't help but feel an abrupt and painful disappointment. Biting my lip to keep back sudden tears, I forced myself to sleep again until evening. The dreams returned, however, and for a fleeting moment as I opened my eyes, I could have sworn that I felt his hand on mine and his gentle, deep blue eyes seemed to linger in the air after the specter vanished.

"Mamoru," I whispered, unable to hold back the tears that slipped from my eyes.

"Projection," Petunia said from across the room. I turned to her, surprised.

"What?" I asked.

"How could he have possibly..." she said to herself and then looked up at me. "Never mind," she said slowly, and refused to say any more on the subject. Had Mamoru really been there a moment ago? But he was miles away, riding to a probable death without me.

---------------------

"Serena," Petunia said an hour later, "we have to talk."

"Yes," I said, trying to sound calm.

"You need a doctor, a hospital, really. Unless you can get back to your world, you are going to die."

Of course I had suspected it, but the truth still felt like a blow. I suppose that up till then I had cherished the fanciful hope that I would recover on my own soon and be able to help Mamoru. Suddenly I was grateful that he was gone. As much as I wanted his comfort, it was better for him to be spared this pain. Taking a deep breath, I nodded.

"What can we do?" I asked.

She sighed, and ran her hand through her hair. Strange, I thought. Mamoru did the exact same thing when he was uncomfortable.

"It's up to you...the options aren't very good, and I can't ask you to kill yourself. I really can't believe that you've done this much already, and I'll understand if this is where you want to end it. If you want to go back now, I can take you home, and you'll probably get better."

"And the other option?" I asked.

"It isn't exactly attractive. I can use a spell...it's dangerous and entirely ill advised, but it ought to get you to Herman, and if you manage to survive that, and we can get you back to your world soon enough...then you might survive."

"The prognosis isn't good, huh?" I said, with a poor attempt at sarcasm. Petunia had the grace to smile. "What's the spell?" I asked.

"Your body can feed off magical energy instead of natural energy. You will feel normal, better even, for a while. At most you have a week...maybe a few days more, if you're lucky. After that, the magic becomes toxic. You will become much sicker than you are now. At that point, even if we take you back to your world you may still die. The combined effects of magical poisoning and the plague will be devastating. You have to understand this. If I cast the spell, you're operating on borrowed time. If you go home now, you'll live. If not..."

While many a heroine might have walked willingly into probable death without looking back, I am forced to admit that this news did give me pause. The thought that I only had a week to live suffused my entire body with dread. For a few moments the idea of returning to my comfortable climate-controlled, child-proof environment had imminent appeal. All my life I had naively wished for adventure, but now I realized that adventure was far more enjoyable to read about than to experience. And yet, a part of me argued, while catching a plague, killing a person and getting my period on horseback hadn't been pleasurable experiences, there was something about this world, this life that made me cringe to leave it. It seemed that fundamentally, despite the dangers, or perhaps because of them, I still liked adventure. I was suited for it, and even if I died because of that, my death wouldn't be in vain. Many people weren't lucky enough to have found a cause worth dying for. Somehow, I held an entire country's fate in my hand, and I had to live up to that responsibility, despite the personal costs. Maybe I wanted to do that anyway. And even if none of these reasons held weight for me, I thought with a smile, I could not give up Mamoru. Above all other considerations, Mamoru was the reason I stayed, and the reason why I could not look back.

I looked up at Petunia. She looked back at me, a question in her eyes that she did not voice aloud.

"I'll stay," I said.

---------------------

She performed the spell the next morning. For what could not have lasted more than ten seconds, but felt longer, I experienced magical overload. I had approached this level a few times before, but somehow this felt different. I had always drawn power for some external purpose, holding it within me mere seconds before using it. This time, however, my body overflowed with it. It wasn't quite painful, but I felt dislocated from my senses, tossed into a maelstrom of energy that I could not hope to contain or control. Just when I was sure I could hold no more, the overwhelming chaos of the power receded. My body slowly accepted and incorporated the foreign energy. As my senses returned, I felt it tingling throughout my body, and when I opened my eyes I realized that I was faintly glowing. The room was suffused with the overpowering smell of honeysuckle.

"I'm hungry," I said. It was, in fact, the first time that I had really been hungry in two weeks, and certainly the first time I had been able to speak in a normal voice without coughing for an hour.

"This is fantastic!" I said, stretching my joints with relish. The sheer joy of not having a fever, of being able to move without excruciating pain and being able to talk made a week suddenly seem like a long time to live. I didn't feel quite normal, though. If anything, I felt a little high. Every time I moved I felt the magic inside me shift and run in rivulets through my body. I could feel it permeate my entire system, and I began to realize why magic was a poison. Like any drug, it had its uses, but its abuse destroyed my body. The magic within me was like a reservoir; right now I was filled with it, but when it ran out I would feel the effects. I realized this, but the knowledge didn't seem to touch me. I stood up and began to stretch energetically, completely forgetting about Petunia's silent presence.

"Serena?" she said, finally.

"Yes?"

"You only have a week, maybe a few days more. Don't waste them."

---------------------

It did not take us long to pack. I rolled the sleeping mats while Petunia packed food and other supplies. I wasn't really paying attention; I was three days away from seeing Mamoru again, and I could not contain my excitement. It was strange, until this forced separation, we had spent practically every moment together for the past two and a half months. I had grown so used to his constant presence that his absence left me with an almost physical ache. I ate breakfast and checked the cabin to see if we had forgotten anything. It was remarkably bare of amenities, and I wondered how long Petunia had lived here.

"How many of these extra houses do you have, anyway?" I asked.

"This isn't mine," she said softly, "it belonged to a friend. She died in the plague."

We sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, while I mentally hit myself over the head. Somehow I had forgotten how much this conflict would have personally affected Petunia. She seemed so distant sometimes that I forgot she was just as vulnerable. After a few moments, however, Petunia changed the subject.

"We have to find you something to wear," she said, looking at the slightly large and shabby white kimono that she had lent me.

"What's wrong with this?"

"I've heard that the Senku and Tokei prefectures are fighting up north, and we have to go through there to reach the crossing to Yonde. I don't want to attract too much attention, and that's what two women riding on horseback without the presence of a man would do."

"So you're saying..."

"We should disguise ourselves as men."

"But we don't have any clothes."

"I got some from the village this morning," she said.

"And how many guys have these poking out of their shirts?" I asked, pointing to my breasts.

"We'll bind them."

I grimaced. "And my hair?"

"We have to cut it. Even with the disguises we can't avoid all harassment, but at least we don't risk attempted rape." The way she said 'attempted' made me look at her curiously, and I realized that this wasn't a matter of protection--both of us could do that with ease. However, we needed to keep a low profile. It would be devastating for Herman to learn of our presence before we arrived.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I knew that this would be the least of my problems.

---------------------

To my shame, I cried a little when Petunia cut my hair. When she had finished, a mass of golden blonde hair littered the floor behind me. I turned and looked into the small mirror set against the back wall. My hair was now cropped as close to my head as Mamoru's, and it made me look unflatteringly masculine. Petunia's hair had grown since the last I had seen her, so after allowing me a few moments to mourn the loss of my hair, she let me take a few whacks at her own with the scissors.

"Do you think we should dye my hair?" I asked.

Petunia shook her head. "You just look like a Hokusai, that's all. We're heading up North, anyway. People with your coloring are more common there."

I tried to forget about my hair as Petunia bound my breasts with torn strips of linen. I did the same for Petunia, and then watched as she completed her disguise. She wore the rough, homespun leggings, breeches and tunic of a peasant and a conic straw hat that shadowed her face.

"It's easier for me to play the servant since I'm so much shorter," she said.

I shrugged and put on a gray shirt that to crossed in front and tied in back. Tucked into the black wide pants, the shirt was baggy enough to cover the slight swell of my hips. When I put on the traditional socks and sturdier riding sandals, I presented a fairly convincing picture. I looked like a sixteen or seventeen year old boy; a slightly effeminate one, perhaps, but no one would question me. The change was so effective that I had to laugh a little, and my giddy pirouette ruined my dignified image.

Petunia looked at me for a moment, and then turned her back to me.

"Come on," she said, "let's load the horses."

I had no idea how she had obtained such good horses from this remote area. She had tethered them outside the house and we loaded them silently

"We might look more convincing if we had swords," Petunia said. "But it might be easier to avoid confrontation without them. Oh, it won't matter. We have to leave now if we want to make it to an inn before dark. Are you ready?"

I tried to think of some heartening response to this, but settled on a nod. I was as ready as I could be, under the circumstances. It would have to be enough.

---------------------

After a month of riding sidesaddle, the freedom of my masculine form was at first exhilarating. By the end of the day, however, I was incredibly saddle sore and I tried not to hobble when Petunia and I entered the small inn. I fell asleep before I had a chance to eat, but Petunia only gave me enough time for a few bites before she made us leave the next morning. By the time we stopped for lunch, I wondered if I would ever walk normally again.

"Petunia," I said after I had finished eating, interrupting her nap, "how do you feel about all of this? I mean, about Herman. He is your brother, after all. Do you know why he's doing this?"

At first I wasn't sure if she would answer my question because her eyes were closed, but a few moments later she began to speak. "I'm mad at him, of course. Incredibly mad. Herman...it's strange, he was never cruel before, just pathetic. I think you call it a Napoleon complex these days. He is addicted to power. When we came into this world, almost four hundred years ago, there was no ruling family. Every state fought each other for dominance; the entire country was wracked with civil war. So I took myself off to explore, and Herman coldly analyzed his advantages. He picked the second most powerful lord, offered him his services, and proceeded to help that family conquer the entire country. As long as the Nakatomi clan has ruled Umeru, Herman has been quietly pulling the strings in the background, and I've hung around to try and keep an eye on him. I always knew that something like this could happen...Herman wants power, and when he doesn't get his way, he gets unstable. I didn't know about the Princess...you don't know how many times I've wished I found out about her before he did. The seventh moon...I hadn't realized it before I read his book, Serena, but it has been his obsession long before I was even aware of its existence."

"And...have you discovered anything? Anything I can use?"

She sighed. "Over seventy years Herman documented every scrap of information he ever learned about it. He knows it's yearly cycle, how the shadow of the rabbit moon makes it permanently dark, how it is closer in certain times of the year than others. He even combed the cities on nights when it was in ascendance to find all the babies born then, hoping that one of them may be an Aranu or a Kanare. And after gathering all that information, the only thing he managed to conclude is that its power can only be harnessed by even more power, enough to subdue it to his will. So, he says, the key to it cannot be the Kanare, who are never that powerful, but the Aranu, who can amplify someone like him into a god. I'm not even sure he's right."

I thought of Mamoru, traveling with a frighteningly small army to the stronghold of this unpredictable megalomaniac.

I shuddered.

---------------------

Our journey continued uneventfully until the evening of the third day. Tired from hard riding in a cold winter rain, it looked as though we might not make it to a town by dark. The effects of the war between the Senku and Tokei prefectures surrounded us; we had had to change our route a dozen times just to avoid petty skirmishes. While the main battles were being fought fifty miles to our east, the violence had spilled into the countryside and surrounding towns. We were constantly on our guard for groups of soldiers; neither Petunia nor I wanted the notoriety we would gain from defending ourselves. Hopefully Herman would have no idea that I was coming, and it would remain that way until I somehow managed to defeat him--or not, as the case may be.

That evening my nerves felt like exposed wires; I had been in a state of constant alert all day. I could tell from Petunia's stance and shifting eyes that she was on edge also. For the past hour we had seen absolutely no other travelers on the road. The only noise was the nervous snorting of our horses and the wet slop of their hooves walking in mud. Then I heard a strange noise, like the metallic shiver of a sword being edged out of its scabbard. I reined in sharply. Petunia had already done so.

She cursed. "I was afraid of this."

"What?"

"Impressment," she said.

The term sounded familiar. "Um, could you elaborate?"

"Factioned armies. They often try to capture men and force them into service. That's the downside of our present costumes. I was hoping it wouldn't be an issue, but..."

"So you mean they might actually attack us?"

"Not to kill, but we might have some problems. They're waiting just a little ahead."

"Well, we can defend ourselves, right?" I asked.

She turned to look at me. "I can, but...I'd rather you not use magic until you absolutely have to. I think it might be better if--" She broke off when we heard sounds of horse hooves wading through the mud towards us. "They're not waiting, are they?" She shook her head. "Serena, get the hell out of here. I'll distract them. Get to the next village as quickly as you can. I don't know how long I'll be--I'd rather not make a big scene, but you have to get to Yonde. We're not too far away; three days, perhaps. You can ask directions at the inn, it's a straight shot."

"But, Petunia--" I said, suddenly terrified. I didn't want to be left alone.

A man walked towards us, having seemingly materialized from behind the sparse foliage beside the road.

"How would you two like to join service in the illustrious army of Daimyo Hiroshi? When we win, each who fought will be a wealthy man." His carefully trained longbow and those of two of his friends made his argument far more compelling. Petunia and I locked eyes for a minute and I nodded imperceptibly. As much as I hated to continue on my own, it was preferable to not getting there at all. I watched Petunia's lips silently count to three and then all hell broke loose. I had already turned my horse away and was galloping past the men before they even realized what was happening. I heard groans and muffled curses behind me, but I did not dare to turn around to see what Petunia had used as a distraction.

"I may not catch up!" I heard her scream as I made my escape. "But Serena, please, for my sake, don't do anything stupid!"

And then I was gone.

---------------------

Over the next three days I continued on alone. As I came closer to Yonde, I noticed the increasingly frequent evidence of warfare: fields had been burned and abandoned, yellow bolts of cloth warning of the plague hung above villages and sometimes whole towns reeked of death. These disturbed me, but in a distant way. My excitement about seeing Mamoru again coupled with my natural high from Petunia's spell made all other issues seem peripheral. I did worry that I couldn't contact Petunia through our bond, though. She felt too distant, almost as though she was no longer in Umeru. I wondered what she was doing, but this was hardly the first time she had disappeared, for reasons she never bothered to explain.

The bulk of the army, it appeared, had not made the crossing to Yonde, but the royally appropriated ships waited in the harbor should the need arise. The army was camped just outside the small but bustling harbor town, and I wondered what possible good Lord Nakatomi's army could do on the wrong island.

I walked warily into the camp, and answered the posted sentry's questions in a forcefully calm voice. Since I didn't know what had happened--or where Mamoru was--I thought it better to keep up the appearance of being a young boy.

"I bring a message," I said, "for Lord Nakatomi."

The man lowered his large crossbow a little. "A message from who?"

"The Lady," I said.

He still looked suspicious. "Why does she not come here to deliver it herself?" he asked.

"She has been captured," I said "It is very important that I speak with his Lordship. Escort me to him yourself, and keep your weapon on me if you think I'm dangerous, but this cannot wait."

To my surprise, he did exactly that. Without speaking, he poked the arrowhead gently into my back and I sprang forward. I walked through the camp, trailed by the curious stares of the men. We stopped in front of a large tent in the center of the camp. The sentry lowered his crossbow and looked at me threateningly.

"Don't move from this spot, boy, or I'll..." he left the threat unfinished, and I tried my best to look suitably impressed. Giving me one last hard look, he walked inside the tent. He came out a few moments later, holding the tent flap open.

"He says you can come in. And mind yourself in his Lordship's presence, boy."

I grit my teeth, said something appropriately polite, and entered the tent.

---------------------

It was not exactly dark, but a sharp contrast from the abrasive light of the sun. I blinked a few times, and after a moment my vision cleared. Kneeling on a silk pillow before a low table covered in maps was a man I assumed was Lord Nakatomi. He looked up when I came in, and his relatively youthful features immediately startled me. He was only in his mid thirties. He smiled pleasantly and I realized that he did not recognize me. Not that he would, of course, after only meeting me once--and nominally unconscious, at that.

"You have news from the Lady?" he asked.

I nodded.

He narrowed his eyes. "Strange...have I seen you somewhere, boy? You seem familiar. What is this news you claim to bear?"

Since there didn't seem to be a good reason to keep up the pretense anymore, I told him the truth. "I'm Serena. Mamoru's companion."

"You're Serena?" Lord Nakatomi asked, probably trying to reconcile me with the swooning girl in Mamoru's arms. "The plague--"

I interrupted him, hoping to get off the subject of my recent illness. "The Lady healed me. We were on our way here together, but we were waylaid by some faction seeking us for impressment." I paused, noting how his eyes hardened. "She used herself as a distraction that allowed me to get away."

"How does she fare?" he asked.

"She's still alive, if that's what you mean," I said with a lopsided smile. "It will take a lot more than a gang of half-starved men with crossbows to stop Petunia--I mean, the Lady."

He paused for a moment, then smiled in acknowledgment. "The disguise, I assume, was a means of protection?" he asked. While too polite to raise his eyebrows, I hadn't spent so much time with Mamoru without learning how to recognize a smirk.

I held myself rigidly. "Of course," I said.

"My dear, while I'm sure the Lady values all lives highly...why exactly did she..." he trailed off.

"Why did she bother risking her life to save mine?" I said. Lord Nakatomi looked momentarily startled and then nodded.

"I am the Lady's protégé," I said. That was the easiest way to explain our relationship. "As you recall, I believe the last time you saw me I was in a state of exhaustion, having brought both Lita and Mamoru here to your world." I paused. "By the way, Lita is okay, isn't she?" the thought of all the trouble that insane seventeen year old could get into without constant supervision made me shudder.

Lord Nakatomi laughed ruefully. "She's fine," he said. "As I recall, she caused quite a ruckus when she discovered you were missing. She has continued in much the same vein since."

I smiled. "I can imagine. As I was saying, because the Lady is unable to fight the Kojin herself," I said, "she has sent me in her stead. The matter, you understand, is deeply involved in the arcane arts, but blood kin are incapable of casting magic against each other." I cringed at my own pretentiousness, but clearly a bit of pomposity did not run amiss in Lord Nakatomi's presence. "But," I said, "I find it strange that Mamoru did not tell you all of this. Where is he?"

Lord Nakatomi suddenly looked nervous.

"Serena," he said gently, and just from his expression I knew that I wouldn't like her news. He couldn't be dead, I would have known if he were dead. But how would I? I had been miles away, half dead myself. Thankfully, Mamoru wasn't dead.

No, instead he had taken the first ferry to Yonde, and walked, unarmed, straight into the bosom of the enemy.

---------------------

It had been an arrangement, Lord Nakatomi explained after I had been restrained by his watchful steward. After struggling for a few moments in his powerful grip I relented.

"You let him what?" I shouted, wishing that I could have had the pleasure to scream at the idiot in person.

Considering that he probably hadn't expected a violent attack from a cross-dressing female who described his parentage--among other things--in distinctly unflattering terms, Lord Nakatomi seemed remarkably calm.

"I gather that you are unfamiliar with the art of war in this country, but such bargains are not uncommon. Enemies often exchange hostages for the purposes of negotiations," he said.

"Oh, is that what you call it?" I said, and my nails dug even further into my palms. " 'Negotiations?' Is that what you'll say when they toss his broken, bleeding carcass into the river, just before they rout you and your army?" There was a sob in my voice as I said that, but I choked it back.

"Hence the reason we have a hostage as well," he said evenly, but I could tell that my hysteria was beginning to grate on his nerves. "If they do anything to Mamoru, they can be the assured that we will do the same to their own man. He is as safe as he can be, under the circumstances."

"How do you know that they just didn't send the sandal boy?" I asked. "How can you be assured of their good conduct?"

"If Mamoru's reaction was any indication," he said with aggravating smugness, "I'd say that you need not worry about his importance."

"Oh? Who is it?"

Lord Nakatomi hammered his advantage. "A man they call Ushiro."

---------------------

Well, he managed to shut me up, at least. During the remainder of our brief meeting I was unable to do much more than nod in agreement. I was suddenly aware of how far I had traveled and how little I had slept. I could feel that the pool of magic within my body, so full at the beginning of this week, was now dangerously low. If I did not act within the next few days, I would be unable to act at all.

When a soldier led me to a tent where I could rest, I looked about nervously for Ushiro, afraid that he would creep out of the shadows and kill me the moment my back was turned. According to Lord Nakatomi, Ushiro was safely imprisoned on the edge of the camp, but I was not inclined to believe that mere manpower could hold a man like Ushiro against his will. I had almost convinced myself that I would be safe for the night when something barreled straight into me and knocked me to the ground. I didn't even have time to attempt to defend myself. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised find a pink-faced Lita straddling my body, beaming.

"You came back!" she said, pushing her unkempt mane of brown hair out of her eyes. "I didn't recognize you at first. You cut all your hair! Was it because of the sickness?" she asked. "Or no! It was because you had to disguise yourself as a man to escape the dishonorable designs of highwaymen!"

She bounced a little as she said this, in obvious raptures, which made it difficult for me to breathe.

"Lita," I said carefully, "why don't you get off of me, and then we can talk, all right?"

"Oh! Sorry about that." She got up.

I stood up, wiping the dirt fruitlessly from my travel-stained clothes. Clearly my concerns had been misplaced. "You're definitely okay," I said, half to myself.

"Of course I was," Lita said, looking at me curiously. "Where did you think I had gone?"

I shook my head, feeling a little geriatric. I barely had enough energy to stand upright, and Lita looked as if she could stay up for a week straight without a problem.

To relieve her curiosity, I told Lita a highly edited version of events since I had seen her last once we went inside my tent. She particularly enjoyed my account of how Mamoru rescued me from the murderous villagers, and carried me in his arms to Petunia. I grimaced at the memory. Thankfully, I was able to steer the conversation towards what Lita had been doing in my absence.

"I've been learning the katana," she said. "I'm not very good yet, but I've changed my mind about going to college."

I grinned. "So what's your new life plan?"

"I'm going to be a master swordswoman," she said, and swiped the air a couple times with an imaginary sword.

"Good luck," I said. "So, who did you rope into teaching you?"

"Oh...well, now Hiroshi over on the other side of camp is, but that's because Mamoru made him promise before he left."

At the mention of Mamoru I had to bite my cheek to keep from cursing out loud. The more I thought about what he had done, the angrier I became.

Lita saw the change in my expression. "I don't think he had much of a choice, Serena," she said softly. "He said he had to buy time for you to get here. I think if he hadn't done it, the Kojin's army would have attacked immediately. I think everyone here would die if we actually had to fight him."

I knew she was right, but it was a bitter pill to swallow. "When did he leave?" I asked.

"Yesterday morning," Lita said. "He gave me--I mean, um, never mind."

"He gave you what?" I asked, my heart suddenly in my throat.

She sighed. "He gave me a letter for you. But he made me swear not to give it to you unless he died."

The hand I had eagerly raised to take the letter dropped slowly. "I see," I said. "And how were we supposed to know that he had died?"

"He told me that if the Kojin attacked, I could assume he was dead."

---------------------

I looked at Lita, and wondered if she still hadn't realized the gravity of our situation. Sometimes it seemed like nothing could pierce her bubble of optimism. Yet, as I watched her bright green eyes grow a little grim, I realized that Lita had never been truly unaware of the danger, she just half-believed that she was immortal. So had I once, but several life-and death chases and a plague later, I no longer had that confidence."I know," Lita said with forced cheerfulness. "we'll play a game. Word association. I used to play it with my mom. Okay, I'll start: horse."

"Barn," I said, yawning. God, I was exhausted.

"Hay."

"Mamoru." I snuggled deeper into the futon.

Serena?" she said, "Serena are you awake?"

"Uh-huh."

"Oh, I give up. You're no fun to talk to at all. I wish Mamoru were here," she said petulantly.

"So do I," I said.

---------------------

The next morning I awoke just after dawn. I wondered why I was awake voluntarily before my bladder informed me of the problem. Grumbling, I crawled out of bed and staggered outside. A persistent mist that clung to my skin and made it difficult to breathe obscured the rising sun. I shivered; this far north, late fall felt like winter. The soldiers who were awake gave me curious stares as I passed through the camp. Surely I was not the only person trying to find a quiet place to relieve herself? Then I realized that I had unbound my breasts for the night, and they were now pushing my shirt out a bit more than could be accounted for by male anatomy. I kept walking, trying to find a place that would shield them from more conclusive evidence of my sex. Not far from the camp was a small sparsely wooded area that looked ideal. Taking a quick glance around to make sure that no one else was near, I lowered my voluminous pants and relieved myself. A rabbit darted off, frightened.

"It isn't that scary," I muttered.

"Quite the contrary," said a voice from behind me. For a bizarre moment I thought that the rabbit had responded, and then I realized why I recognized the voice. I pulled up my pants and spun around.

It was Ushiro.

---------------------

I gaped at him for a few moments, knowing that I should run, but somehow unable to move from my spot.

He noted my paralysis and laughed. It was not a pleasant laugh, and I particularly did not enjoy the way his black eyes raked my body, moving from my face down to my feet and back again. I wanted to slap him, but I knew he could overpower me in a second if I tried.

"While I must say that the long hair is more becoming, short hair suits you." My face must have registered some of my shock because he laughed again. "Oh, you thought I would not recognize you? I was informed of your arrival yesterday. You don't look so very different from when I saw you last, after all."

The cold malice in his voice made me shudder, and my eyes involuntarily searched his neck for the long, jagged scar, evidence of our violent encounter three months ago.

"Oh yes," he said, "I haven't forgotten about that either." His hand traced the scar gently. "And I intend to return the favor, my dear."

At this I managed to back up a little, wondering if I dared use magic to defend myself against him. My face, always expressive, must have been as clear as a pane of glass that morning, because he smirked a little and shook his head ruefully.

"No, I'm afraid that we will have to wait for another time. As you can see, I am a bit indisposed at the moment." He jerked his head towards two armed guards standing some ten yards behind us. In my fear, I had totally overlooked them.

"Rest assured," he said, "I will keep the appointment." He bared his teeth in a horrible parody of a smile, and they glinted in the misty light. Suddenly I was free from my paralysis and I sprinted away, heedless of the path I took.

Back among the trees, just before he approached, I had smelled something strange. A smell that I could now easily place. Peppermint.

---------------------

"Are you sure you weren't just nervous?" Lord Nakatomi asked for the tenth time. He looked annoyed, but so was I.

"I assure you," I said, gritting my teeth behind the formality, "that however surprised I may have been, I could not have mistaken the smell."

"We have taken every precaution with him. I know how dangerous he is. He is under double guard twenty-four hours a day and we strip searched him before he entered the camp. Where could he possibly be keeping this amulet?"
"I don't know!" I practically shouted, and then wrestled to control my voice. "Ushiro must have known you would do that. He must have hid the talisman someplace you couldn't find it."

"Where do you hide a talisman on a naked man?" Lord Nakatomi asked.

I was about to make an indelicate suggestion, but then thought better of it. He couldn't have kept it up there anyway. Sooner or later, someone would have noticed. No, he must be keeping it in a more insidious location, although I admitted that I could not think of one at the moment.

"What makes you so sure that he has a talisman, in any case?" he asked again.

I sighed. "Every single time I have run into that man he has had a talisman. You would think that the Kojin had a storehouse full of the things, seeing how much he uses them. I highly doubt he would have let himself be a hostage in an enemy camp without that protection."

Lord Nakatomi sighed, and clasped his tiredly in his lap. "I can't take definitive action until you can come up with something more conclusive, but I will instruct my guards to keep a closer eye on him."

There would be no more concessions, I realized. I nodded and left the tent before I bit through my cheek. Didn't he understand that if Ushiro had a talisman, it wouldn't matter if the guards "kept a closer eye?" And to top it off, I had a day, two days at most, before the magical poisoning as well as the plague took their hold of me again. With Petunia inexplicably out of reach through our bond, I was completely on my own. I could not blame Lord Nakatomi for being skeptical; he hadn't been chased across two worlds by a man intent on blood vengeance. Like Mamoru, he had probably doubted the existence of magic until now.

I decided to take a walk into the harbor and back. The ten miles ought to take me most of the morning. At least that way I wouldn't have to deal with Lord "are you sure you're not overreacting" Nakatomi.

While my first instinct was to plunge into the Kojin's stronghold and go after Mamoru, Petunia's warning rang fresh in my ears. Even without her, I would have realized the stupidity of such a move. Mamoru had surrendered himself to buy me time, not so I could find another way to kill myself. I wondered if there were any way to entice Herman out of his stronghold, but I doubted that he would be so stupid. My only real chance would be if I could somehow get near him without his knowledge. While I doubted that I had a chance in a straight duel with Herman, I did have a slight advantage if I could manage a surprise attack. I would discuss it with Lord Nakatomi when I returned; between the two of us we had to come up with something.

It took me two hours to reach the bustling port town. I walked through the crowded warren of hard-packed dirt streets, breathing in the smell of saltwater, fresh fish and human excrement. Close to the docks I found an outdoor soba noodle stand and ordered some food. I ate it with an accompaniment of strong wind that made the old ships creak in the harbor and blew a steady spray of saltwater over the docks. My walk back was much slower on a full stomach, and to my surprise I saw that the sun was setting by the time I reached the camp. This far north the sun set early, but I had still been gone almost all day. I went to see Lord Nakatomi as soon as I arrived, but his guard said that he was in a meeting, and could not be persuaded to disturb him.

"Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me?" I asked aloud. A passing soldier winked at me.

"I'll listen to you, honey," he said.

I flipped him a coin. "Go find yourself a whore."

---------------------

Lita actually did listen to me. After Lord Nakatomi's guards had rebuffed me for the fifth time in as many hours, I decided to look for her. When I found her energetically swinging a bamboo pole in the air on the edge of camp, she seemed to welcome a distraction. We talked as we walked back to my tent.

"If he smells like peppermint and he's had this talisman thingy with Herman's magic in it every time before, why won't Lord Nakatomi take you seriously?"

"I don't know. I think he's a misogynist."

"Misogynist?"

"Never mind. The point is, I don't know what to do. He won't listen to me and I have to find out how to get to Mamoru before I run out of time."

Lita stared at me. "Why would you run out of time? I'm sure it would be okay if we took a week to come up with something."

I was trying to come up with some explanation when I heard a strange sound--like the call of nightingale, except I hadn't known nightingales flew this far north.

"Hey, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

I heard it again. "That. It's like a nightingale, but strange. Can't you hear it?"

"Oh yeah," Lita said. "I heard it." She looked around nervously and lowered her head to mine. "I think it's coming from over there, behind those prickle bushes," she whispered.

"We should go tell Lord--"

"No way! Let's go check it out first," Lita said and dragged me forward. The bird calls quieted as we approached and I was suddenly terrified.

"Lita," I whispered, "this is stupid. Let's go back and get a soldier to help us."

Lita's eyes were actually gleaming with excitement. "Oh fine, be a spoilsport. I'll go on my own, then."

Before I could stop her, Lita let go of my hand and strode purposefully to the tangle of bushes. She peeked her head in and walked through. I sprinted after her, but it was too late. I heard the sound of rustling fabric and twigs snapping followed by a muffled shriek. Oh, shit. I stopped just in front of the bushes and peered through. Lita was struggling in the arms of a much taller and stronger man. He held her in what looked like a painfully tight grip and was pressing knife to her throat. Ushiro and two other men stood around her.

The man who held Lita looked at her face and then spat. "Damn it, we got the wrong one," he said.

Ushiro looked around, and then smiled. "Don't worry," he said. "She's out there somewhere." He took the knife from the other man's hands and pressed it to Lita's throat himself. "Okay," he said in a loud voice. "The time for games is over. Either you come here now or she gets killed. I do not bluff."

Lita whimpered.

I had run out of expletives. Unfortunately, I had also run out of time. Trying to make myself seem as calm as I could, I pushed my way through the prickle bushes. Moments later strong arms wrapped around my waist, and I felt the cold edge of a knife on my throat before I could make a noise of protest. My heart pounded furiously, but I kept myself unnaturally still, knowing how little provocation it would take for my assailant to slice my neck with that sharp knife.

"I wasn't expecting it to be so easy," Ushiro said, his mouth right beside my ear.

"I could scream," I said breathlessly.

"I expect you could, but then, you wouldn't even know if your friends had heard you, because you would be dead, and we would be far away."

"Aren't...aren't you going to kill me anyway?" I asked, and was pleased to hear a touch of sarcasm in my voice.

He laughed, and his breath was hot on my neck. "It would be a pleasure, but I think that I will save that particular treat for later."

He tossed the knife aside and pinned me to the ground before I could struggle, his eyes gleaming with something other than the moonlight. I struggled violently, but fruitlessly.

"Get away from her!" Lita yelled, but she was being held by one of the other men, and was just as helpless.

Physically, at least, there was no way to get out of this situation. I was frantically contemplating whether or not to damn him to hell and use magic when his lips met mine with a savagery that made me lose the power of coherent thought altogether. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Other than Mamoru, I had kissed only two other men, and with none had I ever experienced this kind of single-minded brutality. Even had I wanted to participate, I couldn't have. His breath was hot, and his mouth tasted strongly of peppermint. He gripped me so tightly that the chain of my amulet threatened to choke me. No longer able to stomach this gruesome parody of love, I clamped my teeth down on his tongue.

I have heard that the jaw is one of the most powerful muscles in the body, capable of exerting over two hundred pounds of pressure. I don't know how much pressure I exerted, but I do know that I was terrified and pissed as hell. I felt an almost feral sense of satisfaction when I tasted his metallic, sweet blood in my mouth. He let off a muffled yell, and pulled back abruptly. Occupied with whatever damage I had done to his tongue, he loosened his hold on me, and I was able to scramble from beneath him. Without pausing to think, I sprinted in the direction of the camp, but before I had gone more than three steps I ran straight into the arms of two disreputable-looking men waiting on the edge of the area by the prickle bushes. Lita had more luck. In the confusion she managed to sprint away before anyone could catch her. The man who had been holding her was cursing and nursing his foot. I allowed myself a small smile.

"Tie her up," Ushiro said. His words were muffled by his hand, and oddly enunciated but the undercurrent of malice was clear. They bound my wrists and ankles with rope. For now, at least, they had effectively subdued me. While I could use magic to free myself, I was afraid that using it would only make the magical poisoning afterwards that much worse.

Another possibility had also occurred to me. Strangely enough, it seemed as though none of these people knew I could use magic. Even Ushiro's behavior had given me no reason to think that he was wary on that count, which was unlike the detail-oriented sociopath I thought I knew. I couldn't imagine how they had managed to overlook it; the first time I met Ushiro I had disappeared in front of his eyes, not to mention the countless other times that I had used magic around him. If this were true, I could use their ignorance to my advantage.

I sat still when Ushiro walked towards me. He took his hand from his mouth, and I was pleased to see that he spat blood. Without preamble he raised a booted foot and kicked me in the side. Reeling from the pain, but biting my tongue to keep from crying out, I rolled over, and looked straight into his slightly crazed eyes.

"Bitch," he said. "You have the Kojin to thank that I don't kill you now." He kicked me again and I could have sworn that I heard my ribs crack. Where was everyone? At least Lita could tell the others what had happened. I had wanted to find a method of getting inside the Kojin's fortress, but I hadn't considered getting captured as an option.

"Is something funny?" he asked.

I held my silence defiantly, and almost welcomed the boot that connected with my jaw and sent me sprawling into oblivion.

---------------------

I awoke on a boat making the crossing to Yonde. I kept my eyes closed and tried to hear if anyone was close enough to notice my return to consciousness. What noise I did hear was muffled, so I opened my eyes. It seemed that I had been dumped among sacks of what smelled like dried fish. From my position, I only had a view of my captors' feet, but I did not dare sit up to see more. The ropes were still as tight as ever, so I used small amount of magic to loosen them. Better that they thought me still bound and helpless, for now.

I thought of Mamoru and wondered what Herman had done with him, if he was still alive. I blinked back tears. Hopefully, I would see him soon. The boards of the ship groaned as it shuddered to a halt. We must be landing, which meant that someone was bound to come looking for me soon. I lay back down in roughly the same position and tried to look as helpless as possible. Moments later, I heard Ushiro's grating voice order someone to grab me. The man was not gentle, and I had to bite back a gasp when he grabbed my waist. He slung me over his shoulder, and did not seem to care when my head hit the side of ship as he climbed down the ladder.

He tossed me into a dingy, and climbed in after me, heedless of the water that splashed inside. The little boat had just barely gotten underway when I heard Ushiro's harsh voice next to my ear.

"No need to pretend anymore, or should I let Taro carry you again?" His swollen tongue rendered the words less intelligible, but not less threatening. Cursing inwardly, I cracked open an eye and saw Ushiro glaring at me.

"That's better. I knew you had to be awake."

"No thanks to you," I said, sitting up and rubbing my jaw.

He raised his eyebrows. "That's the least of your worries."

I shrugged and looked away. I had no desire to discuss my impending death with my probable killer. "You haven't killed me yet," I said. I looked out across the mist at the choppy waves, and shivered, not entirely with cold. The moons were hidden tonight--the stars gave the only light.

"Where are we going?" I asked, wishing my hands were free so I could try to warm them.

"You didn't think the Kojin would be easy to find, did you? It has taken some doing," he said, "but there is no escape now."

I watched the serpentine undulations of the sea, and prayed.

---------------------

Minutes later, the boat stopped in front of what was, as far as I could tell, a sheer cliff face. Ushiro reached inside his mouth and violently wrenched out a silver tooth. I winced--it was covered in blood and saliva. It also reeked of peppermint, which solved the riddle of Ushiro's hidden talisman. The tooth glowed momentarily while he used the spell contained within to reveal a cave on the edge of the cliff face.

The small boat just barely fit between the rock walls, and if I had been claustrophobic, that would have been a particularly tortuous trip. Torches lining the walls at irregular intervals only momentarily relieved the inky blackness. We traveled through the cave for about ten minutes before landing on a small underground beach. Taro picked me up again and carried me up a series of rough-hewn stairs. At the top of the stairs, most of the men peeled off in other directions, but Taro, Ushiro and I continued down a torch-lit hallway. At Ushiro's instruction Taro opened a door and dumped me inside. The room had an unnatural brightness to it, almost as though it used fluorescent lighting.

"Inform the Kojin that I have arrived," Ushiro said. Taro bowed and Ushiro closed the door behind him. Ushiro stared silently at me. The silence stretched on. Then, with uncanny speed, he knelt beside me and drew out a dagger. It glinted as he turned it, but I forced myself to look in his eyes rather than the blade. I was fairly sure that he wouldn't kill me; everything he had said up till then indicated that he planned to take me to the Kojin first. I was, however, certain that Ushiro had no qualms about inflicting pain.

"There's nothing you can do now." He smiled, and I clenched my hands, preparing to prove the inaccuracy of that statement. Before I could react, however, he brought the knife forward and sliced my cheek. It didn't hurt, but I felt the hot blood sliding down my face. I glared at him.

"Oh, was that unpleasant?" he asked. "I only regret we have no time for more. Come, it's time to meet your benefactor." To my surprise, he picked me up himself, and carried me to a door set in the side of the small room. The fortress was dark and much of it looked the same, so I had lost all track of where he was taking me by the time he stopped before a door at the top of a staircase.

After taking off his shoes outside, Ushiro opened the sliding doors and entered. For some reason, he had taken me to a traditional tea house. In the center of the room, two figures knelt across from each other on the reed mats. At first, I only saw the back of the man closest to me. Then I saw the other.

"Serena!" Mamoru said, and then turned angrily to the one whose face I could not see. "You promised not to harm her or anyone else so long as I came."

Ushiro tossed me to the mats and I rolled into a sitting position. "She's not hurt," he said curtly.

Mamoru looked back and forth between us before his eyes settled on my figure. My breath came short as I stared into his hard eyes. At least he was alive, I thought, and he looked unhurt. I felt tears pricking my eyes, and bit my tongue to stop them from coming. I had wanted to see him so badly for so long...

"Your face," he said softly, "your hair."

The cut had stopped bleeding, but I imagined that the dried blood was not a reassuring sight. I had to do something to stop him--he would undermine my efforts before I even began.

"Oh," I said, rolling my eyes, "is that all you can think of at a time like this? My appearance? Always trust Mamo-chan to think of the essentials."

"Don't call me that," he said grinning, and his eyes held that familiar glint I had longed to see again.

The other man turned around. While I knew intellectually that long vampire fangs, beady cat-like eyes and bleached white hair were highly improbable features, I had expected the Kojin to cut a slightly more imposing figure than he did. He looked like Petunia. He had the same disconcerting violet eyes, although his hair was a curly brown, not peroxide blonde. From his seated position, he looked at least two inches shorter than Mamoru and he had a paunch. To all appearances, he was a normal, middle-aged male. The way he smiled, however, spreading his thin lips without once bearing his teeth, was inexplicably menacing.

"I somehow expected a more touching reunion," he said.

His voice was strange, almost gentle, with a hint of a falsetto. I stared at him blankly for a moment. He couldn't possibly know about our relationship. He had to be guessing, and the less he knew the safer we would be.

"I...can't imagine why you would," I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. "What possible reason did you have to bring me here?"

I avoided looking at Mamoru, but in the corner of my eye I saw his eyebrows come together and then his small smile of approval.

"As insurance of his good behavior, of course," Herman said, gesturing towards Mamoru.

Mamoru laughed. His mask was firmly in place. "Of all possible hostages, you have surely picked the most useless," he said. To all eyes except mine he seemed in control of the situation. But I noticed how his voice was slightly higher than normal, how his hands gripped each other to avoid betraying how they shook, and how he never looked in my direction. Mamoru was scared shitless, and so was I. Perhaps if we could convince Herman of my worthlessness as a hostage he would release me, but he might also just kill me anyway. We were taking a huge gamble, and we both knew it.

Herman's face remained impassive. "I find it hard to believe that you failed to develop any attachment to her after nearly four months of daily contact. She's quite beautiful."

Mamoru shrugged. "She's passable," he said. "Looks aside, I would let her die for a smaller price than my own life. The only thing I learned after four months was that the only person I might hate more than her is yourself."

I tried to maintain my composure as he spoke. His words cut far deeper than they should have--I knew he was doing it to save me.

Herman narrowed his eyes a little, and turned to me. "Is this true?" he asked.

I braced myself. "The first time I met him his friends almost slit my throat. As for these 'four months' you keep talking about, getting hurt, almost dying, passing out in front of an army and catching a plague all because of him is hardly a reason to fall in love. I'll be glad when I can get away from him forever."

I avoided looking at Mamoru as I said this, but I couldn't help sneaking a glance at the end of my speech. His mask had dropped for a moment, revealing an expression of resigned self-blame that made my stomach knot.

Herman stood up, looked at each of us in turn, and then made an interminable circuit of the room. The long silence tore at my nerves.

"You must think I am very stupid," he said finally, in that same deceptively mild voice. I wanted to punch him, or scream, or do anything proactive, but I hardly dared to breathe. "My sister took you from our world, but you could have forced him to send you back at any time. Why would you have stayed to help him unless you had feelings for him?" He eyed my bonds meaningfully. "No one would put themselves in this position unless they were in love."

"I was kidnapped!" I protested, pointing to Ushiro who stood silently by the doorway. "That bastard dragged me here. What does...Mamoru have to do with this?" My hesitation was slight, but he still heard the catch in my voice before I said Mamoru's name.

Herman smiled indulgently. "I can feel the spell my sister cast that allowed you to come here. That's all the proof I need."

I did not have to look at Mamoru to know how this enigmatic sentence scared him. I did look at Herman, and in his eyes I saw a dare: if I could tell Mamoru what this spell was, then perhaps he would believe our story. We both knew who would win. After a moment I looked away.

"Now that we have gotten the preliminaries out of the way," he said, turning to Mamoru, "I want you to understand that if you do anything mildly threatening, and attempt to cast any spells at all, I will allow Ushiro to have his way with her. I doubt she will enjoy that very much. Will she, Ushiro?"

Ushiro fingered the still-pink scar on his neck and drew his lips into a mirthless smile. "Not very much at all, I am afraid. My Lord."

Mamoru paled. I almost groaned. Mamoru would do anything Herman wanted just to spare me.

Mamoru glared at his captor in fruitless anger. "What do you want with me?"

"Only to talk," he said. "Will you honor my humble house by doing the honor of sharing tea with me?" he said, and I was surprised as much by the sentiment as the formal phrasing.

Mamoru's mask slipped back in place. "It would be my pleasure to accept such an honor," he said.

Sitting across from each other again, Herman signaled for Ushiro to bring the materials, which were located in a small drawer by my head. The silence required during the actual tea preparation, and the calm, ritualistic performance made me relax despite myself.

I thought back over a few things that Herman had let slip during our conversation. It appeared, however improbably, that Herman thought Mamoru was a witch. As ridiculous as this seemed to me, it was true that every single time I had used magic either Mamoru or Petunia had been with me. There was no real reason to suspect that I was the caster, but then again, there was no reason to suspect that I wasn't. Herman seemed absolutely positive of Mamoru's magical abilities, and I needed to know why. My thoughts were interrupted when I realized that Mamoru and Ushiro had cautiously resumed a normal conversation.

"How much do you know about your mother?" Herman asked, sipping his tea.

Mamoru's hands slipped slightly on the ceramic teacup, spilling some onto the reed mats. He regained control moments later, however, and his face was impassive when he answered. "As much as a son does know of one's mother, I suppose. I was only sixteen when she died."

"But I expect that there were parts of her life that remained a...mystery to you?"

"Of course," Mamoru said cautiously.

"Like the identity of your father? I find it hard to believe that as a young boy growing up in a small village you never wondered why your mother alone lacked a husband."

"It crossed my mind," he said, his eyes betraying some anger, "but my mother and I loved each other very much. It obviously hurt her to think about her prior life, and so I stopped asking. Now, of course, I know why she didn't tell me."

"How admirable in one so young. However I must dissuade you of one notion."

"And that is?"

"You are not the Emperor's bastard son." He allowed this to sink in for a few moments, while both Mamoru and I stared at him in shock.

"That's...that's impossible," Mamoru said finally. "The emperor himself came to find me and send me on this quest."

"The late Emperor was a fool." Herman said, for the first time betraying personal anger. "Yes, I have no doubt that he believed you were his bastard son, but that doesn't mean that it was true."

"You will have to excuse my disbelief, but I have reason to doubt your word over that of a dying Emperor."

Herman's laugh was more like a bark, and for a terrifying I saw a hint of his insanity. "Of course you would. Just like your supposed father. Are you telling me that you never had your doubts about his claim?"

Mamoru started to respond, and then cut himself off. "Some," he said quietly. "The few things she had said about my father had never led me to believe that he was the emperor."

My mouth hung open. This was all news to me. Why the hell hadn't Mamoru told me these things earlier?

Herman smiled. "So you are perceptive. I hoped that I hadn't made an erroneous judgment of your intelligence."

Mamoru grimaced. "Why, thank you. I don't suppose that you are planning to offer any alternate possibilities of my paternity?"

Herman's features hardened in annoyance, but he kept his voice under control. "I have no idea who your real father was. He could have been anyone; at court, your mother was quite well known for her affairs. It was only after she got pregnant that she seduced the Emperor and convinced him that the child was his own. So he sent her away to a quiet little village on the edge of the island, and forgot all about her. The slut probably deserved it."

Mamoru's deep blue eyes shook with barely contained anger. "You bastard," he said slowly, as if he were ripping it from some dark place within him.

Herman raised his eyebrows. "Aren't you looking in the wrong direction?"

Mamoru kept silent, probably not trusting himself to say or do something that would endanger me.

"Aiko was a beautiful woman, though," Herman said. "Her eyes were like a stormy sea lit by lightening, or so people said. I never cared for her much, myself. She was one of the strange foundlings that Petunia liked to bring back to court. The place was filled with them; no one knew where they came from, least of all themselves. People forgave Petunia's eccentricities, however."

Did I detect a note of jealousy in his voice?

"Yes, she was beautiful. Intelligent, too; she could hold her own in any conversation by the time she was fourteen. She even published a few slim volumes of love poetry. You could not blame her so very much, I suppose, for having so many lovers. It was so easy for her. When she became pregnant with you, it was hardly a surprise to anyone. A few people knew that the Emperor was not the real father, but he insisted upon it, and no one--least of all myself--felt inclined to dissuade him. I must admit it was with some relief that we sent her away; women like that are a bit too...flamboyant for civilized society."

"My mother," Mamoru said, slowly and deliberately, "was an incredible woman, worth more than you with all of your power could ever hope to be. I refuse to hear you, a man who ruthlessly killed thousands of people for the sake of one girl's power, slander the woman who died to save my life."

I could see how this rattled Herman, but he covered his anger with another mocking smile. "Ah, but who holds the cards now, Mamoru?"

Mamoru was silent.

"Of course," he said. With deliberation, he replaced his cup on the tray, and stood up. To my surprise, he started to walk towards me. I had to force myself not to back away from him.

"The reports are quite correct," he said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You look remarkably like the princess. I wasn't quite so sure before; your present costume does an admirable job of covering your womanly features. Your hair, especially, threw me."

Herman reached down and ran his fingers through my short hair, and I forced myself not to slap his hand away. I had to bide my time before I took advantage of my loosened bonds. Behind Herman I could see how closely Mamoru watched us, unsure if his light touch would turn to violence.

"It should be long," he said quietly, and after daring a quick look in his eyes I looked away, almost sick to my stomach. The mixture of sexual desire and unreasoning hostility that I had seen there did not reassure me at all. "Her hair was long, beautiful." His hand was still in my hair and I stayed perfectly still.

"Yes, she was beautiful," he continued, his voice deceptively soft. "A beautiful key to unimaginable power. You look like her, but you don't have that power. You can't give me the seventh moon. She can, but she's gone and no one will give her back. I feel my sister's shield even now. She has used the Princess' power to keep me out.

"Minako rejected me, you know. Do you know what she said to me?" he asked, kneeling so his head was level with my own. "To me, the one who had given his life to make her family great, to make this country great? I sacrificed everything for them, and she was the only thing I ever asked for in return. And you know what she said? She said, 'Marry you, Herman? How funny! Why, I would never marry you if you were the last person in the country! You are ancient. I can't imagine why you would have even thought to ask. Doesn't my father give you women for that sort of thing?'"

I felt a jolt of familiarity at his description of the Princess, but I couldn't place it. The unreasoning anger in his face made me wonder how I could possibly get out of here alive.

He eyed my hair clinically. "Would you look like her with long hair?" Without warning, his fingers tightened on my scalp and he pulled me to the ground. I heard Mamoru shout, but Ushiro moved from his place by the door to hold Mamoru back.

"If she is beyond my reach," he said in a low growl, "then at least you can suffer." As he said those words, I felt his spell encircle my body.

I started to scream after the first few seconds of it. My head was on fire, and my hair was growing, sprouting from my scalp with terrifying speed. I forced myself to keep my eyes open, and through my watery gaze I saw Mamoru struggling futilely with Ushiro. As I searched for a spell to stop him, I realized that Herman had inadvertently given me an opening. As I now recalled from Petunia's lectures, using a spell as invasive as this one to hurt another person left the attacker completely vulnerable. If I cast any disabling spell, Herman would be unable to stop me. Before I could do that, however, the pain subsided, and I could see that Mamoru had finally attracted Herman's attention.

"Don't...don't hurt her," Mamoru said, and with a painful jolt I realized that he was trying not to sound desperate, and failing.

"Why not?" Herman asked, breathing heavily.

"Do whatever you want to me. Just leave her alone."

Herman laughed a little. "I have not survived so long without gaining some rudimentary intelligence. I am not fool enough to use magic directly to hurt you. I don't relish the thought of a simple heat spell frying my brain or something equally painful. However, perhaps I will let Ushiro take you up on your offer...does it still stand?"

I stared imploringly at Mamoru, trying to convince him to say no. He must have understood Herman's mistake by now, but he avoided my gaze. Please Mamoru, I begged mentally, just let him hurt me for a little longer and then everything will be over. Herman himself had told me exactly what spell I needed to use. The entire thing was laughably easy if Mamoru could just manage to trust me. Holding my breath, I heard his slow response.

"Yes," he said. "It stands."

---------------------

Left lying on the floor amidst the golden strands of my newly grown hair, I coldly plotted murder if we ever got out of this alive. Mamoru did not look at me. The only emotion revealed on his face was resignation. I didn't want to watch, but my eyes were riveted to the scene at the other end of the tea house.

"Such heroics," Herman said. Mamoru remained silent. "No need to tie him," Herman told Ushiro, who had opened a small door on the side of the room. I felt a short snap of power and Mamoru went rigid, firmly ensnared in a strong holding spell.

"Good boy," Herman said, leaning into him. "You could have fought that, but you would have lost."

Mamoru glared at him, and he smiled. Turning idly to the tray of instruments that Ushiro had gathered, he pointed to a large iron mallet.

"I do hope you have a high threshold of pain," Herman said just before Ushiro started. "Because this will hurt."

---------------------

There is no experience quite similar to watching the man you love get painfully tortured, all the while knowing that anything you could possibly do to stop it would only put the two of you in more danger. Ushiro firmly gripped the top of Mamoru's right arm and proceeded, with terrifying precision, to slowly break each bone within. Throughout it all, driven by some insane impulse of stoicism, Mamoru kept his silence. Herman watched with a sadistic half smile, but that was nothing compared to Ushiro's single-minded attention. I was now under no illusions as to my fate if I ended up at his mercy. After the first break, I could no longer keep my silence.

"Please stop it!" I shouted. "You've done enough!" Herman turned towards me, but Ushiro did not respond at all, instead lifting the mallet above Mamoru's elbow joint. Mamoru's head sagged forward when it landed, and I heard a small whimper escape his lips, almost despite himself.

Herman shrugged. "Be grateful that I didn't let him do it to you."

"Stop it! What is wrong with you? What possible reason..." I started sobbing. This time, however, both of them ignored me. Ushiro moved to Mamoru's wrist.

"You bastard!" I cried. "How could you have done this to me? Fuck you and your chivalry! I hate you!" Then the mallet landed, and the sound that Mamoru released sounded as much like a laugh as a sob. Damming prudence and safety to the last ring of hell, I tugged ruthlessly at my bonds and stood up before either man noticed. Readying a spell without much conscious thought, I directed all of my frustrated, futile anger towards Ushiro. Even if he had seen it coming, he could have done nothing about it. As it was, he fell to the ground without so much as a sound. Startled, Herman wheeled around to face me, and I imagine I looked frightening enough in my anger to make him blanch. In his surprise, he released the holding spell on Mamoru, who collapsed to ground, just barely managing to land on his left side.

"You..." Herman said.

"Yes," I said, staring straight in his violet eyes, "me."

There was a pause, and then his passive smile reappeared on his face. "You can't win, you know."

"Be that as it may," I said, with a firmness that surprised even me, "I plan to try."

Magical duels are strange mixtures of instinct, talent and intelligence. Because casting spells that directly attack the opponent make it easy for him to retaliate, it is necessary to use benign spells for more violent purposes. After four hundred years of experience, Herman was a good deal better at this than I. Silently, we tested each other for a few minutes, casting light holding or sickness spells, and seeing how easily they were deflected. Herman did so with an almost automatic ease, while I sometimes had to mutter a few of the words of power to focus my energy. Time passed, and I could see that he knew how tired I was. He wasn't feinting to test me, I realized, but to drain my energy. The longer he could draw me out, the weaker I would become. I surprised him by casting a very strong transportation spell, which I felt him struggle to resist.

He wiped his forehead of the sweat that had collected there and spoke for the first time in an hour. "You're far better than you have a right to be," he said, "but you're still going to lose."

I just grit my teeth and kept going.

---------------------

At some point I lost track of the time. It lasted for hours, I know that much, but I had known from the beginning that all I could do was ward off my death. Sweat dripped into my eyes and soaked my shirt, but somewhere within me I still found reserves of strength. I had grown inured to the strong scent of peppermint and chocolate. There had been a few close calls, when his well-timed binding spell had caught me off-guard, or when I had almost let myself get transported to some inhospitable location, but I had extricated myself in time. Each time Herman reassured me of his impending victory, and each time I stayed silent. At some point Mamoru recovered enough to sit up. He must have realized that there was nothing more he could do--certainly not with one working arm and no weapon.

An hour later, Herman had boxed me into a corner. If I blocked his heat spell, I would have no time to break the binding that half-held me. I reinforced my shield, but it was a delaying tactic only.

God, I needed more power! If I had it I could destroy him, but as it was, I would be dead in minutes and there was nothing I could do to stop it. If only I had the Princess, if only I could use her power to amplify my own. Wouldn't that be ironic if I destroyed Herman with the same power he coveted? But I didn't know who the Princess was or how to find her. 'Doesn't my father give you money for that sort of thing,' I thought, recalling Herman's eerily familiar imitation of her voice.

And then it snapped into place. Why it seemed I recognized the words, why everyone thought I looked like her, why Petunia had happened to live across the street from me. I finally understood, and I felt stupid for not realizing earlier.

Mina was the Princess. Princess Minako.

---------------------

Herman said something to me, but I didn't hear him. I hadn't even known it was possible before I did it, but as I hurtled myself towards earth with a transportation spell, I managed to keep part of myself in Herman's stronghold--effectively straddling two worlds, and not entirely substantial in either.

"May...Minako," I said to locate the spell, but I stayed in limbo. Something was forcing me away, a barrier too powerful for me to break. But in limbo, straining towards earth, I was close enough to call Petunia on our bond.

"Petunia," I screamed, "let me in! You have to let me in."

Her voice was distant, but audible. "Serena? What are you...don't you know how dangerous this is? You can't straddle like that, it'll kill you."

"I'm dead anyway," I said, "unless you let me through. I have to have her power, Petunia. Herman will kill me...shit, he's breaking through now. Let me in, goddamn it!"

"But...Serena--"

"Let me in!"

She let me in. I barreled into a hotel room. Mina and Kintaro were sitting up in bed, staring at me.

"Mina," I said weakly. Both of my insubstantial bodies were beginning to hurt with the pressures of being torn apart. "You have to come back with me. You have to help me."

Kintaro held Mina tightly. "She's not going anywhere," he said. "You people can't keep tossing her around like she's some toy."

"I'm going to die, Mina," I said.

She started crying. "Oh god, Serena...Serena, I'm so sorry! I can't, I just can't..."

Kintaro glared at me. "Get out of here. Can't you see what you're doing to her?"

"She's the only one!" I shouted. "The only one with enough power to stop him from killing everybody, from killing me! I need her power, dammit. I must have her power!"

And then I stopped. The room was silent except for the sound of Mina's sobbing. What was I saying? What was I doing? When had I turned into the kind of megalomaniac that demanded power without thought of its human consequences? Was it this easy to turn into another Herman?

I sighed and shook my head. "I'm sorry, Mina. Petunia's right. You're too dangerous to use. Good luck, you two," I said, allowing myself to fade back into Herman's tea house. "I'm sorry we never got a chance to take that vacation, Mina."

The last sound I heard was her sobbing my name.

---------------------

I was back in the tea house. My barrier still held, but just barely. Herman stared at me.

"The Princess," he said, his voice hoarse with exhaustion. "I felt her damned barriers go down for a second. You went to see the Princess, but you didn't use her power. Such noble actions won't get you anywhere. I could kill you with a thought." I felt him draw another crippling amount of power. "But I won't if you tell me where she is. Tell me where and I will spare your life, and his," he said, cocking his head towards Mamoru.

"Never, you bastard," I said though grit teeth. "I'll die fighting."

"Then die!" he said, and blasted me with a heat spell so powerful it tore through my barriers like rice paper. I closed my eyes, and thought about Mamoru, who even now was watching my death and helpless to stop it.

I had resigned myself to death hours ago, and now that it had come I almost welcomed it.

---------------------

The heat consumed my chest first. It hurt as much as I had thought it would, but eventually I realized that it hadn't moved past my chest. The amulet?

Herman looked just as startled as I. His heat spell was being blocked, somehow. Mamoru's amulet burned with a strange power completely unlike the magic I knew. I had felt this force a handful of times before--at Rei's temple and at night during certain cycles of the moons, but it had never been this powerful. My body overflowed with strange, conflicting sensations; the feel of a warm spring day and the smell of cherry blossoms, the dark chill of a moonless autumn night, the smell of the ocean the morning after a storm. They swirled within me, faster and faster, until I could no longer identify them individually. I was experiencing another person's lifetime, feeling the series of sensory impressions that make up our perception of the world. Suddenly everything in the room went quite still, almost frozen in space. I took a shuddering breath and wondered what was happening. Had the power of the seventh moon somehow been unleashed?

Then I closed my eyes and the entire world dissolved.

---------------------

I was in someone's bedroom. Two figures lay on a sleeping mat, entwined within one another. I looked around frantically, trying to find a place to escape with no one noticing when one of the figures stirred a little and let out a light giggle.

"That was wonderful, Herman. Shall we do it again?" she said, and her voice sounded vaguely familiar. I walked closer to the bed, and realized that neither of them could see me. Was I invisible? Where the hell was I? He grunted and turned over, and I saw that she was speaking to the same Herman I had just been fighting a duel with.

"I'm tired, Aiko," he said, and I felt a jolt at the sound of her name. Somehow I must be watching scenes from Aiko's life.

"But, Herman," she said. "You were never tired before."

"You were never so annoying before."

She choked on her words and stayed silent.

---------------------

The scene changed. Now we were in a garden, by a pond overshadowed by a budding cherry blossom. Aiko was sitting on a large stone by the pond, looking around anxiously, like she was waiting for someone. Sure enough, Herman soon came, walking slowly.

"You came!" Aiko said, tossing herself into Herman's arms. He held her reluctantly. "I thought you wouldn't come. You were so late!"

He deliberately removed her arms from around his waist pushed her away. "What is it, Aiko?" he asked.

"Well, Herman...you see, I'm not quite sure how it happened...I used all the things the Lady told me to, but..." she trailed off, and looked at him with her imploring blue eyes. In that moment I flashed back to Mamoru's picture of his mother, and I knew without a doubt that this was the same woman.

"I'm pregnant," she said finally.

Herman reeled back as if he had been dealt a blow. "You're what?" he said, with deceptive calmness.

"I'm pregnant," she repeated, and looked at him expectantly.

He narrowed his eyes. "Well, when are you going to get rid of it?"

Her hands flew to her stomach. "Get rid of it? How can you ask me to get rid of your own child?"
"I don't want children," he said. "I already have enough problems dealing with my sister. I have no desire for another magic-user in this world."

"But, Herman," she said, "this will be our child. Don't you want to have a child with me?"

"No," he said.

Spare her feelings, why don't you, I thought angrily. That Aiko was hopelessly in love with Herman was obvious. Although God only knew what she saw in him.

"Herman...I don't care. I'm going to have this child. Our child."

"Aiko," Herman said, "if you give birth to this child, I won't claim the baby. You'll become a fallen woman. I'll have you turned out of court, and I will have the baby killed."

"How can you say things like that? It's your own child! Don't...don't you love me?"

"No, Aiko. I don't." He walked away. Aiko was left sobbing in the

garden.

---------------------

We were in a bedroom again, but this was far more sumptuous. Aiko sat

nervously on the bed, while a young man sat down next to her.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked. She nodded.

---------------------

The scene changed, but we were still in the same bedroom.

"I'm pregnant," she said to the man. The emperor?

He looked at her in surprise, and then sighed loudly. "I see. What do you want?"

She swallowed, and looked at him defiantly. "Your protection only. Send me away, please. Someplace where they won't ask questions, and I'll bring my child up in peace. I promise that we will never bother you."

The Emperor hesitated, and then nodded.

---------------------

The scenes that followed were disjointed, brief snatches of a quiet life as a diviner in a small village on the coast. Mamoru grew up and learned how to paint. He learned how to fight, and gained respect among the other boys of the town. There was no reason in particular why Aiko should have shown me these pictures; they were not necessary to the story she wanted to tell, but as I saw them I had the overwhelming sense of mutual love. It was almost as if Aiko had longed to share these images with the one other person who loved her son as much as she. I felt a moment of incredible affinity, of friendship with a woman whom I had never met. When the pictures solidified again, we were inside a cabin.

Aiko was alone, doing something to an amulet. Her eyes were closed while she held it, chanting something. I could feel the power in the room, but it was the different kind of power I had sensed coming from the amulet back in real time. The metal glowed faintly, and then she reached for a knife and sliced her wrist without hesitation. The blood dripped onto the amulet and disappeared.

"A tithe of soul and tithe of blood for the blood moon." Her words sounded like a mantra.

It blazed brightly enough to burn a circle into the wooden table before it began to cool down again. Aiko opened her eyes, and looked at the amulet in satisfaction.

"A lifebond," she said.

---------------------

The scene dissolved, and when it reappeared we were still in the cabin, but Mamoru was there as well.

"Mamoru," Aiko said frantically. "Hide in here." She gestured towards an almost invisible trap door in the floor. A sixteen year old Mamoru looked up at her defiantly.

"No," he said, and his voice cracked with strain. "I'll go and defend the village with everyone."

"Mamoru-kun," she said, "You are a brave boy, and you have no idea how proud I am of you, but if you have ever listened to me in your life, please listen to me now. I'm going to get help from the palace...I'll be okay, I promise. Please?"

Mamoru nodded reluctantly and got inside of the bolthole. "Mother," he said quietly, "you'll be back, right?"

She nodded. "Before you know it. Here," she said, pulling the amulet from around her neck and handing it to him.

"It contains a mother's love."

---------------------

The last scene was short. Hurrying away from the fighting on the other side of the village, Aiko tried to sneak out the other direction. She didn't make it; she didn't even have time to speak. A startled, almost horrified gasp was all she could give before the longbow hit her straight through the heart and she toppled to the ground. Her eyes never left the face of her attacker, and somehow they still spoke of a love she could not kill.

And Herman simply walked away.

---------------------

The return from the world of memory happened slowly, but as I opened my eyes, I realized that no time had passed. Herman's face was frozen in surprise and his heat spell was still blocked.

Aiko stood before me. I felt tears pricking at my eyes, thinking of the story that she had shown me and the love she must bear Mamoru to come back and save him now. She did not speak, but she smiled a little. She turned to look at Mamoru, whose expression was too complicated for me to read. A few tears ran unheeded down his face. Then she turned to Herman. As soon as she did so, it was clear that somehow Aiko still found it within herself to love him, and that hurt me most of all.

"Aiko," he whispered, his face a mask of fear. She smiled sadly at him, and then turned away, back towards me. I heard her voice in my head, although no one else could hear her words.

"Whatever of my power is in this amulet is yours to use," she said. "I have fulfilled the blood moon's sacrifice. But know...please know that I loved that man. Whatever his faults, and whatever mine, I never regretted loving him." She began to fade. Mamoru let out a choked sob.

"Love him," I heard her whisper just before she disappeared entirely, and I knew that she was referring to Mamoru.

"I will," I said, smiling.

She disappeared.

I turned to Herman. He still hadn't moved. I was fortified by my new knowledge and by the power she had lent me. I could kill him anytime I wanted now, and he knew it. It was to his credit that he did not beg for mercy.

"You did not deserve her," I said. "But you had her anyway. That kind of grace is not given to many people." I walked forward until I we were inches apart. He did not move.

"Just tell me," I said softly, "even if you didn't love her, why did you kill her?"

"She was the baby," he whispered. "She was the baby Petunia had hid. I searched all over our world, but she had taken the baby to court, the child that had indigenous powers. I never knew. Aiko never told me, and I had wasted so much time. I hated her, then," he said vehemently.

"And the seventh moon? If only for the sake of her power, why not let her live after you knew?"

"Because I...I didn't know," his voice wavered. "I thought it was the Aranu, not the Kanare who had that power. I didn't know, not until now..."

"Tell me that you loved her once, even for a moment. Even as much as you liked the princess. Tell me you deserved her even a little."

He shook his head. "Aiko was as much as anyone to me...a distraction. No more, no less."

I hesitated, and then sighed. "Were it up to me, I would kill you. But you are hers, and so I won't. But you will never have the power to harm another soul like this again."

The earth hummed beneath my feet. I closed my eyes and felt the power around me. It seemed to ooze from the very stone around us, from the seventh moon above. I took hold of it and immobilized Herman.

"Good bye," I mouthed, and then stripped him of his magic.

His screams were terrifying to hear, but I continued to do it despite his pleas. I closed my ears to him, knowing that in some ways what I was doing now was even worse than a clean killing. This was twenty times more torture than anything Ushiro could hope to do, and even the knowledge that the recipient was Herman could not relieve my self-horror. Eventually, however, it was finished. Herman lay in a crumpled heap at my feet, barely conscious. There was a strong possibility, I realized, that he wouldn't survive this anyway, but his death would not be on my conscience. Gathering the last of the power, I cast a transportation spell. I sent him to the only place I could be sure he would never bother anyone again.

"Limbo."

---------------------

After he disappeared I collapsed to the floor, sobbing incoherently. His screams as I stripped him of his magic echoed in my head, and I shuddered in self-revulsion. I did not hear Mamoru approach me until he put his hand tentatively on my shoulder. I looked at him through watery eyes, and then gripped his hand convulsively, as if it were the only thing holding me to sanity.

"Oh God," I repeated over and over, horrified by the past few hours.

Mamoru's face was hardened with lines of suppressed pain, and his right arm hung at a painfully wrong angle.

"Serena," he said, his voice somehow gentle despite all of this. "We have to get out of here."

"I can't move," I said, and then realized that the stone was groaning around us. "What is that?" I asked, sitting up slowly.

"I think the place is collapsing," he said, and as if on cue we heard a crash from somewhere outside the door.

"Aiko's magic," I said, "I felt it draining the power from these stones." I jumped at the sound of a larger crash, close to the room. We both stood up and for a second we looked at each other.

"I didn't think I would survive that," I said. "Your mother..."

"My father," he said.

I looked at him in surprise. "You know?"

"I figured it out. Come on, we can talk about it later."

He was right, if we didn't leave now, we might get stuck in the rubble. We ran out of the room, stepping over Ushiro's unconscious form. Even if he were still alive, at that moment I did not have the emotional or physical capability to crush an ant. Besides, the fortress would probably do the job for me. The hall immediately outside the tea room was un-blocked.

"How are we supposed to get out of this rat warren?" I asked as we ran down the hall.

"We have to go up," Mamoru said. "Most of this place is built underground."

Taking his words to heart, we took every single unblocked tunnel that we could find, so long as it had a slight incline. Somehow, we made it to the surface before the entire thing collapsed around our ears. Choking on dust, we emerged at the top of a staircase into what looked like a city of ruins. The first floor had collapsed entirely. We stood at the top of the stairs for a moment, looking at the heaps of stone bathed in moonlight. Through the swirling motes of dust, I could make out the milling figures of Herman's men who had managed to get out in time. Mamoru held my hand as we looked into the sky. There, so low and heavy I could almost touch it, sat a moon, one I had never seen before. It was blood red.

"The seventh moon," Mamoru said quietly.

"A tithe of soul and tithe of blood," I said, remembering Aiko's words as she poured her blood on the amulet.

"What?" Mamoru said.

"That's it, you know. The seventh moon's secret. Sacrifice."

"My mother's sacrifice," Mamoru said softly.

I fainted.

I floated in a state of semi-consciousness for a while, but Mamoru's frantic voice brought me back. I felt too exhausted to respond, so I remained limp even as he shook me with one hand.

"Serena!" he said, "For God's sake, wake up!" I was about to open my eyes and reassure him when a particularly evil thought occurred to me. Resisting the urge to smile, I remained limp as a rag doll.

"Serena, why won't you wake up? We have to find Petunia and everyone..." he trailed off, his voice cracking. "Please, we did not just go through that for you to start dying on me." He cradled my head gently in his left arm, and to my shame I felt his hot tears drip on my forehead. I wanted to open my eyes then, but he had already continued.

"You're always so goddamn stubborn, Serena! Can't you just listen to me for once in your life? I...I love you."

I couldn't have opened my eyes if I tried. How much had I longed to hear him say that?

"You can even," he started laughing a little, "I'll even let you call me Mamo-chan."

I cracked open one eye, and felt a tiny jolt of shame as he closed his eyes in relief. Then I smiled, recalling one particular event at the very beginning of our acquaintance, and my...violent reaction to it. Finally, the tables were turned.

I smiled up at him. "Too easy," I said.

I was rewarded with his surprised, relieved and unguarded laughter.

---------------------

Petunia found us soon afterwards. Since neither of us were in much condition to walk, it was lucky that the boat was docked a short distance away. I fell asleep as soon as we climbed on board, and remained dead to the world for some sixteen hours afterwards. It was nighttime when I awoke again, finally refreshed. Aiko's amulet still hung from my neck, but it was cold and lifeless now. She had been released from its bond, I supposed.

I stretched tentatively, realized that I was naked, and searched around my bed for some clothes. I found them folded neatly right beside me. Feeling a little wobbly, I put on the kimono and thong socks and walked outside. This must be an inn, I thought. From the sounds of revelry in the common room I knew that it couldn't be very late. I walked slowly down the hallway, wondering if there was something that I could eat. I heard approaching footsteps and looked up.

Mamoru and I stared at each other for a tense moment. He looked far better than the last time I had seen him, but his right arm was bound tightly to his side, and I could only imagine how much that hurt without modern pain killers.

"Are you--" we both said at the same time, and then smiled.

"I suppose we have to talk," he said. "Will you come to my room?"

He was strangely formal about it, I thought as I walked into the room across from mine.

I sat down on his futon, and hugged my knees a little. He chose to remain standing, and I wondered just how much more his arm hurt than he let show.

"I've been wondering," he said, "what exactly did you do to...Herman?"

"I ...stripped him of his magic, confined him in limbo. He won't bother anyone anymore."

"Did I really see my mother?" he asked quietly.

I nodded. "She came to save...to save both men she loved."

He winced and turned his face to the ground. I had thought to avoid the issue for a little while longer, but suddenly the sight of his suppressed pain made me livid. I stood up, forcing him to look at me.

"Do you see this," I said, holding my hair, now even longer than before. "This is nothing. Less than nothing. Look at your arm! Was it worth it? Do you always have to be such an idiot? What possessed you to offer yourself up in my place when you knew, you knew that all I needed was a couple more seconds to take Herman by surprise? What possible excuse do you have for yourself? Do you respect me so little?"

Mamoru met my eyes, but there was such pain there that I almost wanted to take back my words. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't.... You were lying on the floor...screaming. And your hair just kept growing..." he shuddered. "It was the only thing that I could do."

"Oh, and you think that watching Ushiro get some sort of perverse pleasure out of breaking every bone in your arm was fun! I hate chivalry," I said bitterly. "It doesn't make any sense. I don't want anyone to die for me, least of all you. Why can't you respect me enough to understand that?"

He shook his head. "It's not about respect, Serena. It's just...I'm too weak to watch you get hurt. I'm sorry."

I felt tears form in my eyes. "No, damn it! Don't tell me you're sorry! Tell me you'll--" Quite unexpectedly, I was overcome with a coughing fit. My body shook convulsively and Mamoru held me until they subsided. I clung to him afterwards, letting tears of frustration soak his shirt front. I had forgotten all about the spell. It was wearing off now; I had maybe twelve hours before it disappeared completely. Mamoru gently lowered me to his sleeping mat, and sat with me, wincing at the necessary movement of his arm.

"You still have it," he said. I started to shiver, and his arm tightened around me.

"Yes," I said, not wanting to elaborate.

"You have to tell me the truth," he said.

I sighed. "I'm dying."

He stiffened, and I could see the look of panic in his eyes. "But... you were fine, before. And Petunia..."

"She cast a spell to make me better for a while. After it wears off, I get magical poisoning as well as the plague. That's what's happening now. I have to go back to my world, or I'll die."

He nodded slowly. "We can go tomorrow."

The tears came even faster now, and I could not stop them. "Mamo-chan," I said, choking on the name, "you can't come with me."

"Why not?" he asked, but his voice was quiet, almost resigned.

Because I did not want him to have to watch me die, I thought, but I could not say it aloud. "Maybe...maybe we just need some time apart."

He was too upset to even argue. Almost blindly, he turned my face up towards his and our lips met.

---------------------

If nothing else, we had beauty that night. There were no fireworks, no unexpected jolts, not even much happiness, but there was beauty. The beauty in the way his uncut hair hung into his eyes, beauty in the way his hand fingered my lips as if he would never touch them again--and perhaps he wouldn't. Beauty in our gentleness with each other. It was awkward because of his arm, and yet somehow even that added beauty. We were both crying, sad, slow tears that decorated the other's body with little crystals. His salt tasted the same as mine. And for a moment, I thought: we are one. We shattered and coalesced like a love-making fractal, until, spent, we lay curled within each other, relishing in the beauty of one last night.

---------------------

I left that morning before Mamoru awoke, memorizing every feature, every crook and dimple and scar his body possessed, and storing it away for the long months ahead, when I would be forced to live without him. I remembered him as I saw him that last time: asleep, his position awkward because of his arm, but his face peaceful nonetheless, with the orange light of dawn streaking boldly across his body.

"I love you," I whispered, but he didn't hear me.

---------------------

Petunia was waiting just outside the door, her face impassive. She knew why I was leaving on my own. Without preamble, she took my hand, gathered enough power, and took me back home.

I collapsed to the floor of my living room almost as soon as I arrived. Petunia looked at me, nodded, and walked to the telephone.

"Hello," she said, "is this 911? I have an emergency here. Yes. A woman has collapsed...yes. 3813 34th street...Georgetown."

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END of Book Seven. Epilogue coming either tomorrow or in a few days. Comment!