Itachi was in trouble. In this case, trouble came in the form of a smiling, ceaselessly bouncing, talkative blond. Unfortunately, it wasn't the blond Itachi had spent the past seven months with, but still. In truth, it was the fact that Itachi had been inside of said trouble that could either hinder him or help him.

Itachi closed his eyes and remembered that god awful walk home. Why, oh why, had he been impulsive- he was never impulsive, and offered to pick Sasuke up? Why?

Sasuke hugged Naruto goodbye after the blonde promised to drop by for dinner. Itachi saw the way their arms wound around each other for a little too tight and hug for a few seconds longer than was expected of two boy best friends. Conclusion? Itachi was pretty sure the two of them were hooking up.

Itachi said nothing as Naruto waved to them before rounding the corner.

"So, you and Naruto, eh?"

Sasuke nearly leapt a foot to his chagrin. He was tempted to lie but knew Itachi would see through it anyway. Oh, what the hell, he decided. "Yeah."

"How long?" Itachi was sure Sasuke must be wondering why he wanted to know, but he didn't really know himself except that it might be important in his plan.

"Uh," Sasuke stalled for time, trying to recall. "Just after you left for college last year."

Itachi didn't so much as blink but part of him was impressed that they had stayed together for so long. "So, have you guys gone all the way yet?" To his amazement, Sasuke shook his head.

"Nah, we've done basically everything else. But for some reason, he always stops." He didn't feel the need to add that he was always exceptionally grateful when Naruto stopped him and that the feeling was mutual.

Itachi looked his version of stunned, which really mean that his mouth was slightly open, which only brought attention to his full, pink lips. Sasuke looked away from his brother, feeling strange.

Itachi was fascinated in spite of himself; Itachi couldn't imagine a relationship without sex. It perplexed him, and thus it piqued his interest.

"But today Naruto imitated a kiss, something he's never done before." Probably Naruto had kissed him in order to gain his attention, which had been focused on Itachi. But Sasuke didn't think Itachi had to know that.

"And?" Itachi prompted.

"I think we're ready."

Itachi was struck by a thought which amused him greatly. "Sasuke, you've had sex before, right?"

"Of course I have, I-ta-chi," Sasuke said, exasperated. No, not all, no.

"With who?" Itachi challenged.

"Sakura Haruno," Sasuke replied, pretending to misunderstand. He thought, God, no. He'd kill himself before that happened.

Unfortunately, Itachi was excellent at reading at expression but he decided to get to the point. "With a boy, otouto."

Knowing he couldn't lie convincingly enough for this one, Sasuke shook his head. "Naruto and I want it to be special, that's all. I mean, we want to be each other's firsts," Sasuke felt compelled to offer, defiant. He knew from the heat, which always seemed to appear more when Itachi was around, he was blushing. Just great, he thought sarcastically, Itachi was going to think he'd gone crazy with all the romantic stuff. To his surprise, Itachi said nothing. Sasuke would have given anything in the world to know what had caused Itachi to swallow, his eyes tracking the movement of their own accord, and close his eyes briefly.

"Naruto's a virgin, then?" Itachi said in his normal voice.

"Yeah, I mean, who else would he sleep with?" Sasuke went on at Itachi's raised eyebrow. " The only people he's ever liked are you and me." He shrugged. "Naruto's not a slut."

Itachi's already pale skin lightened a shade. "Sasuke, it's cold. Button up your jacket."

"Whatever, you sound like mom," Sasuke grumbled but he did what Itachi asked, secretly pleased that Itachi cared.

Itachi rested his head against the arm of the couch in the living room, gazing sightlessly at the buzzing TV. The guy on the commercial was blond. He wondered idly what Deidara was doing at the moment, probably nothing. Itachi shook himself. He used the remote to turn the television off. Now was not the time for television, reminiscing about cheating ex boyfriends who didn't care about him. No, he had to start seriously planning if he didn't want things to blow up in his face. His cell phone rang and he answered it without thinking.

"Itachi speaking."

"Oh, Itachi…I was hoping –"

"Fuck you," Itachi growled before shutting his phone off. But no, that was Sasori's job now. Or maybe not, Itachi considered darkly. Perhaps that's why Deidara had cheated; he hadn't wanted to be the uke anymore. But honestly, Itachi didn't do uke. Deidara hadn't seemed to mind letting Itachi have full control. Itachi shook himself again.

"Nii-san?"

Itachi looked up, eyes carefully blank for a moment in which Sasuke was worried something serious had happened. But then Itachi's eyes turned reddish, oddly feral, and Sasuke's insides turned to goo. He inhaled deeply, needing regain his breath. Itachi's smile was downright fiendish, which made a certain part of Sasuke's anatomy twitch.

"Sasuke, come here."

Sasuke came and stood looking down at Itachi. He was unprepared when deceptively slender arms reached up and pulled and pulled until their lips met. Sasuke closed his eyes, the part he usually suppressed jumping up and down in delight and triumph. The two Uchihas had the same thought as Itachi's tongue slipped inside of Sasuke's mouth: he's mine.