In a daze, Raoul mechanically rode back to the stables, groomed Drum and went back to his room. He knew he'd given all the necessary orders and said something to Kel, but he couldn't remember what he said. Once he got to his room, he shut the door and locked it, not wanting to be disturbed. He moved towards his bedroom when he noticed a stack of books, a slender wrapped package and a letter sitting on his desk.

Dear Raoul,

By the time you read this, I will be married and on my way to my fief with my husband, Barner of Genlith. He is Vinson's younger brother (by a little less then a year) and has just finished mage training at university. I am sorry I did not tell you that I would in all likelihood be married when you returned. I didn't want to distract you while you were fighting immortals and I didn't really see any use in telling you since I thought perhaps Joren's death would lead to a delay in the wedding. If anything, however, it seemed to make my father more eager then ever to have me married off to a Genlith.

Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I have my fief and memories of us to sustain me. Thank you for everything. I was happier with you then I have ever been in my whole life. I will always love you. I left you the books of yours I still had, and in the package is a sketch Maggie drew some time ago. I thought you might want it.

All my love,

Jai

Raoul opened the package and as he looked at the sketch, he managed a small smile. It was a sketch of him and Jai at that first ball. Peas were flying through the air and Raoul was clearly trying not to laugh. The Jai's look was the same look that appeared on a child's face when he or she has been caught doing some minor mischief. It was a perfect representation of them both, down to every detail. He felt an ache deep inside him as he remembered that first meeting and the absolute liveliness that filled Jai. The image of her stuck in marriage, bound by her husband's wishes made him feel physically ill. He realized he would never hold her again, never fall asleep to the steady sound of her breathing, never hear her happy laugh echo through his room. Raoul willed himself up off the desk and moved to put the books away on his shelf. Then he reached and pulled out the book he had first loaned to Jai and stuck the sketch and letter inside, where he could always find them if he wanted them.

A knock came at the door, and Raoul quickly put the book away and opened the door. A messenger for the King stood at the door.

"The King requests that you and Third Company return to the Progress immediately and with all haste."

"We are supposed to get a little bit of a break at the castle before we re-join the Progress."

"The King says he needs you there now. He left this note for you. He wants you to leave the day after tomorrow at the latest."

Raoul,

I need you and Third Company here as soon as possible. George knows a mercenary who was approached to see if he and his men would be willing to fight against the crown. The mercenary was unable to identify the man, so he has probably continued his search. Hurry. I need you here protecting my family.

Jon

Raoul tensed immediately.

"Kel," he yelled.

Kel came scurrying in, unused to be addressed so gruffly.

"Kel, I need you to get Flyn and all the sergeants in my study now. Tell Flyn to first tell everyone we leave tomorrow at dawn to re-join the Progress, and to prepare for a hard, quick ride there."

Kel nodded and rushed off to do his bidding. Raoul quickly began un-packing and re-packing his saddle bags with clean clothing and maps for the areas the Progress was going on. He reached to grab one of his shirts that was on his bed and found himself unable to breath as Jai's lavender scent suddenly filled the room. She always wore that shirt when she stayed with him, and after moment's hesitation, Raoul shoved it into his bag with the rest of his things. When he heard the men entering his study, he walked back into the room. He motioned for Kel to stay, then sat down in his chair.

"I know we all expected some time off, but things have changed. We have verified information that someone is trying to assemble mercenaries against the crown. We don't know who it is or what the plan is, but we need to assume that assassination attempts are a possibility. We need to get back to the Progress now, and you all must be extremely alert at all times. Each squad will have a particular member of the royal family that they must watch. Flyn and I will come up with assignments during the ride. I play to have two squads each focusing on the King, the Queen, Prince Roald, and Princess Shinkokami. One of the two squads assigned to them must always be near. The other squads will watch the rest of the Conte children. They will probably all stay together except for Kalasin, so you may need to split up some, but the most likely targets are those main four, so that's out focus. Tell your squads, but tell them under no circumstances is this available for gossip. One word to anyone or even chatting to each other and they will face severe punishment and most likely be expelled from the Own. I'm laid back usually, but I won't be on this. Go."

The next morning Third Company left and rode hard for the Progress. During the entire journey, Raoul's thoughts moved back and forth between pain over Jai's marriage and worry about the plots against the throne. Three days later, they caught up to the Progress. The Own spent the next several weeks keeping a close eye on the royal family, but no attack was made. This left Raoul with more time to contemplate Jai then he wished. Occasionally there would be moments where he would forget about Jai entirely, then out of nowhere something would remind him and his feelings of loss and anger would overwhelm him in a rush until he felt like he could hardly draw air into his lungs. Overtime though, he learned to control the emotion. As the weeks turned to months and the dreary balls blurred together, he fine-tuned his feelings so that it was no longer such a shock every time he thought of her. He still missed her constantly, especially on this dreadful Progress. At every ball, he thought about shared glances, snatches of conversations and stolen kisses they'd indulged in at previous balls. Every time he sat down to dinner around a campfire, he'd think about Jai throwing rocks at him to get his attention so they could disappear together into the woods. When he pitched his tent, and slid into his bedroll, he thought about Jai sneaking in to curl up next to him.

When Scanra invaded Tortall, and full on war was declared, Raoul couldn't help but be thankful that the Progress abruptly ended. Unfortunately, George's sources were still coming up with threats, although the spymaster was frustrated constantly in his attempts to discover exactly what the plan was or who was organizing it. He did know that many of the men known to fight for whoever paid the most seemed to have disappeared, and the omens were only increasing in frequency. Jon had insisted that until the threat was completely gone, Third Company had to stay in Corus. Raoul grudgingly agreed that he was needed more in Corus than at the border, but he and Jon both knew the troops would be needed up North soon. They returned to Corus not long after Midsummer, and there was a blissful two weeks free of balls until Princess Shinkokami's birthday celebration forced everyone out for a celebration. Since so many were already at the border fighting, all of Third Company was required to be in attendance so there would be a sufficient number of dance partners for the young women. While many of his men were extremely excited, Raoul would far rather have been in battle up North than appearing at yet another ball.

Raoul had dutifully attended the ball and even managed mild amusement at some of his men's antics. He was standing with Thayet laughing as he watched Dom stand behind Aiden making exactly the same movements as Aiden while Aiden flirted outrageously with one of the court women. Unaware that the girl was giggling at Dom's impersonations and not Aiden's jokes, Aiden continued to woo her in earnest. Then, without warning, Jai walked into the room on the arm of Barner, and he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He'd been completely unprepared to see her and all the pain came rushing back with jolt. When he examined her further, what he saw didn't comfort him. If you didn't know her as well as he did, you might have thought she looked happy. A smile graced her lips, and she nodded as her husband addressed her, but Raoul could seen the deadness in her eyes, and the way she grimaced when someone bumped her hard in the side. Looking hard at her jaw, Raoul was fairly certain he could see a faint purple bruise under the prodigious amount of face paint she was wearing. Thayet touched his arm, forcing him to focus on her.

"Raoul, are you alright?" Thayet asked, looking at him in concern. "You've gone so pale."

"I'm fine. I think I need some air," Raoul said. "I'll be back soon."

Raoul turned and quickly walked outside to the gardens. He sat on a bench away from the door to the ballroom, hoping to avoid being spotted for awhile. He leaned over and put his head in his hands, worried that he might actually vomit. He was so focused, that he didn't notice anyone had sat down next to him until he felt Jai's cool hand on the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry," he heard her say. "I tried to get word to you that we were coming, but wasn't able to."

He nodded numbly, the feeling of her hand on his skin sending a cool rush through him that was at once soothing and horribly painful. Finally, after a few moments of letting her hands gently move through the curls of his hair in a reassuring display of tenderness, Raoul looked at her.

"He's beating you, isn't he?" he said.

Jai looked down, taking her hand away and looking at her lap. "It is what it is," she said softly. "I've been put through this all my life. True, there's a new…element to the pain, but I know how to deal with it. I'm really fine. You don't need to worry about me."

"Don't lie to me, Jai. It's bad, isn't it? I saw you wince when that man knocked into you, and you can't hide the bruise on your chin. He's could kill you if he keeps this up."

Jai looked away. "Don't exaggerate," she said. "I'll be fine. I should go. He'll start wondering where I am soon."

Raoul reached out and grabbed her arm. "You don't have to put up with this. Go to the Temple of the Goddess. I understand you want to keep your fief, but you can't let him do this to you. It's not just the physical pain I'm talking about. He's destroying you slowly. I can see it in your eyes."

"Stop being so melodramatic," Jai snapped. "I made my choice. I followed through with my duty. I will continue to do so. I will not leave my fief to be taken by Barner. Under the law, he can do what he wishes with me. I will do my duty. You of all people should understand that."

She wrenched her arm out of his grip and stormed off, returning to the ball. She didn't make eye contact with him for the rest of the night. Instead, she stood next to her husband, chatting with all of the most conservative men in the court. Barner kept a protective hold on her for all the night. Thoroughly depressed, Raoul left as early as possible. Once he got to his room, he took the book of his shelf and opened it. He pulled out the sketch of Jai and looked at it, tracing the change he could already see in her. Deciding he'd tortured himself long enough, he put the picture away, returned the book to its spot on the shelf, and moved slowly to his bedroom.

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Yay for reviews! Thanks everyone. I really, really should have done hwk instead of write this, but this is so much more fun and I always manage to get my work done in the end......