Punk
The third fucking time I found James was right after Chief Swan let me borrow his cruiser. I was trying not to think about the way my dad had no fucking patience while the chief had a shit ton, even when I acted like a brat.
Chief Swan always said that you have to think like a criminal if you want to catch one. He never met a real criminal who would break into a police chief's house and then cook him his favorite dinner. He figured that I wasn't cut out for a life of crime, no matter how hard I pretended. So I thought about what he said, then pulled on his hat and tried to think like James while I drove around Forks looking for his ladder.
It took a while, but when I saw James's truck from halfway down the street, I put on the sirens and all the flashing lights, then cut across three front yards before stopping just short of his ladder. I used the chief's megaphone to make my voice all big and scary, then told James to get in the fucking cruiser because he was in BIG TROUBLE. Then I turned the sirens off and said all that shit again, just in case he hadn't heard me.
Seeing my perv peer over the side of the eaves made me smile and smile and smile. He had his thinking about spanking face on, and I felt a little wriggly. When he shouted down that I should go back home, I shook my head and told him no fucking way.
I wasn't going anywhere without him.
When he shouted down that he wasn't interested in a repeat performance, I gave him a performance of my own.
He was pretty high up, so I might have been mistaken, but I'm pretty sure he smiled when I sang a song by my hero, Adam Lambert. Then I backflipped across the yard, and I think he was impressed.
But it wasn't until I took my clothes off and cuffed myself to his ladder that my perv finally said yes.