Sha'Hei

Chapter 2: Harry's Dress...I mean Robes

Harry sat across the table from Jake Sully; the other man had a cup of coffee in front of him, while Harry had opted for tea.

What Harry was really craving was a glass of butterbeer, or, better yet, firewiskey. But seeing as Harry was currently the only wizard on Pandora he doubted he would be able to locate a glass of pumpkin juice, let alone anything stronger.

"And there is absolutely no way to fix my avatar?" Harry asked while shooting a glare at Grace, who was standing with her hands braced on the table.

The woman growled, and Harry responded by ferine baring his teeth at her. Two could play at that game. And play at that game they had, in fact, Harry and the insufferable scientist had been at it for well into the night. Harry insisted that they fix his avatar or make him a new one, and Grace staunchly denied the possibility.

"There is nothing to fix, Potter." She say through clenched teeth, this was a repeat conversation, and Harry, of course, knew exactly what the woman would say next. Sure enough…"The avatar was made to be female, you will just have to deal with it." Harry opened his mouth to argue, but she raised her hand, "No Mr. Potter, we cannot get you a new avatar, Even with our accelerated growth tanks it would be impossible. It took years to create the ones we have now, and years more to bring them an appropriate age. It simply cannot be done. You have no choice, so suck it up." Harry glowered at her, not at all liking the cruel twist the woman's lips took before she spoke her next line, "That is, if you can even connect to her again."

Harry huffed, crossing his arms and stamping down the urge to stick his tongue out at the obnoxious female, "Hey, It's not my fault." Harry claimed, ignoring the amused glances of all the men in the room. "And before you even ask, I have no idea how it happened. For all I know, connecting to Dr. Porter's avatar was some kind of fluke." It wasn't, Harry knew.

He was perfectly aware of what his magic-his unpredictable, spiteful magic- had done. The bloody thing had betrayed him, adopting this new foreign body; abandoning Harry's real form in the process.

Bloody fantastic is what it was.

Mind the sarcasm there.

The real kicker, though, was that his soul was still attached to his core, and since his core and soul were currently inhabiting separate bodies that left Harry with a whole other slew of problems.

It was giving him a massive headache, and the annoying bint's incessant screeching was driving him up a wall.

His mental rant was cut off by Jake's curiously amused voice, "So, Harry, want to tell us why you're wearing a dress."

Harry froze.

No, scratch that, the world froze.

Harry slowly turned his head to the grinning ex-soldier. The room was unnaturally quiet now as everyone's attention zeroed in on the wizard.

Harry twitched.

Jake's beady little eyes were sparking at him unrepentant.

Harry promptly retracted any and all complimentary thoughts he'd ever directed at the blasted muggle. "I am not wearing a dress." He growled out, his eye's narrowing dangerously.

Jake didn't seem to sense the imminent danger, either that or he ignored it entirely. Harry didn't care which it was, Sully was going down either way.

"It look's like a dress to me." Harry's head swiveled towards Norm, seated on a conveniently placed sofa off to one side. The man seemed to have taken courage from Jake's boldness. Harry fully intended to inform him on just how unappreciated his opinion was. It was sure to be a humiliating and painful lesson, to be sure.

Harry leveled a toxic glare on the young man, which didn't seem to effect the buffoon in the least. "These are robes." Harry bit out, highly offended, and not a little embarrassed.

"Robes, huh?' Jake teased, "Like what an angel wears?" At this all the men, excluding the silently fuming Harry, burst into unruly laughter.

"Robe's, dress, who care's? What I really want to know is why you were cross-dressing in the first place." Max added, he was not about to be excluded from the teasing. Harry decided that none of them would receive Christmas gifts from him…ever.

Harry's frown eased and a sly smirk plastered itself on his lips, causing all present to snap their mouths shut and share nervous glances.

Harry's eyes swept over the lot of them before settling on the largest of the trio, Jake Sully.

Harry stuck his nose in the air, flicking a strand of hair out of his face, "You're just jealous." He stated haughtily.

Jake arched an eyebrow, "Oh?"

"Yes," Harry continued, looking down his nose at the marine, which was quite a feat considering that even sitting Harry was shorter then the man, "You are jealous that it looks so much better on me then it every would on you."

Jake grinned, "Oh yes, cross-dressing has always been my deepest most secret desire. I'd kill to have a body like yours." He was laughing now, and even Harry was smiling.

Grace was looking between them incredulously. Norm and Max were snickering; both had obviously been unprepared for the sudden mental image of the tough, ex-soldier in tights and high heels.

Harry had to admit, it was a funny thought.

Grace pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head at the table below her. "I'm going to bed; I'll see you all in the link room first thing tomorrow."

"That is an excellent idea." Harry chirped, standing up. "It's been a long, trying day, so I think I'll turn in now."

Jake grinned at him again, maneuvering himself away from the table, "Yeah, I think I'd be tired too if I'd had an unexpected sex-change."

Harry glared, slapping the back of his head as he sauntered passed, "Git." He muttered, heading out the door.

He could hear the man's laugh fallowing him down the hall.

Tthptthptthptt

Back in his room Harry found himself once again sprawled over his bed as he stared blankly at the ceiling. How in the name of Merlin did he get himself into these situations?

Everything about the last few days was just completely ridiculous, each moment more absurd then the last.

Obviously someone out there thought it was fun toying with Harry's life until it was completely unrecognizable.

Wizards, as a general rule, don't believe in a Higher Power, but Harry found it a little too coincidental that Harry had wound up with a female Avatar that his magic just happened to take to like a broom to flight.

No, Harry had long ago decided that something out there thought he made a good plaything, and Hermione had agreed with him. Ron, on the other hand…He'd just said that Harry had bad luck.

Somehow Harry couldn't help but think that no one could possibly have that bad of luck-could they?

Well, luck-type and god-people aside, the fact remained that Harry would still be turning into a girl on a regular basis.

That thought did not sit well with the young man and he resisted squirming uncomfortably.

With a groan Harry turned o his side and buried his head into a flat, standard-issue pillow.

Turning into a girl wasn't Harry's biggest problem either (as much as his male ego objected); he still needed to call Hermione and that was not a conversation he was looking forward to.

He had no idea how he was going to explain everything, and there was no bloody way he was going to tell anyone back home about that Avatar. He'd never hear the end of it. He was tempted to forgo the call altogether, but he couldn't do that to the only family he'd ever had.

Thinking about Hermione inevitably brought up thoughts of Ron. His two friends were probably married by now. He felt a pang at having missed such an important moment in his friend's lives.

Thoughts of Ron and Marriage shifted to the redhead's younger sister Ginny Weasley-Harry's girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend?

Were they even together anymore? Did Ginny think he'd abandoned her?

And, more importantly, did his team think he had run away; left them high and dry right before the biggest game of the season?

Harry was brimming with questions, but there were no answers.

Sleep was a long time in coming for the young avatar-driver.

Earth

~Hermione~

"Granger, Snow want's to see you in his office." Draco Malfoy's silky drawl cut through the silence of the library like a shark through the water.

Startled Hermione's head snapped up, wide brown eyes meeting the cool grey's of her peer.

She blinked at the handsome man for a moment, her mind still half-way between her notes and what he had said.

One blond eyebrow arched at her and she could swear one corner of his mouth had twisted up into a smirk, but he was gone before she could be sure.

Shaking her head, Hermione rose from her place among the many books she had been researching.

Omar Snow was the head of the Department of Mystery's in the Ministry of Magic. He was a man to be obeyed, and when he called one of his Unspeakable's to his office, you went, no if's and's or but's about it.

The man was ancient, like Dumbledore ancient; but without the grandfatherly persona the old Headmaster was famous for. He was a bald man, except for a long thin, snow white ponytail; and was as far from the stereotype of 'old and frail' as one could get.

His office was located in the very center of the mage that made up his department. Having been an Unspeakable for 3 1\2 years now, Hermione had no trouble finding her way.

Her light knock was answered with a brisk, "It's open."

Slipping inside she searched out her boss, saying simply, "Malfoy said you needed to see me?"

Omar leaned back in his chair. "That is correct." His voice was a deep gravely rumble that was a complete contrast with his looks. "It seems we have another 'Potter Call'."

Hermione sighed, her shoulder's slumping. In the five years Harry had been missing they had had a steady stream of people claiming they were the famous young man.

It was painful for Hermione to be so forcefully reminded of her friend and she would like nothing more then to ignore the ignorant fool's who thought they could fool Hermione-one of Harry Potter's closest friends-into believing they were Harry.

"Alright" she breathed, trying to fight back the surge of anger and grief the thought of another imposter brought to her, "Where is he? Let's get this over with."

"That's the problem." Snow told her, running a hand over his tired eyes, "It's a muggle call."

Hermione's eyebrows shot up, "What?" She asked, taken aback, "A muggle is claming to be Harry." The thought was utterly preposterous, "How do they even know about him?"

"We don't know." He admitted with a grimace, "We're currently looking into the possibility of a leek. But I would like you to take care of this. Talk to this 'Harry' and get as much information out of him as you can."

Hermione nodded curtly, slipping into her professional persona. If there was, indeed, a muggle leek within the ministry it would place them in a very dangerous position. And if the leek wasn't in the ministry then some civilian was breaking a number of Secrecy Laws. The damage control needed to cover something this big was not something Hermione wanted to contemplate at the moment.

"Would you like me to leave?" Snow asked curiously.

Hermione shoot her head, "That won't be necessary sir." She answered. Oman nodded and with a flick of his wand a magical screen appeared on a blank wall.

The computer they were using to communicate with muggle leaders was a genius combination of magic and muggle technology that Hermione had created the first few months of being an Unspeakable.

"Patch the boy in." Omar told the computer.

A few moments passed in silence before the screen flickered then transformed into a hologram of a short man with a mop of messy dark hair.

Hermione's breath caught and her stomach flipped but she forced the excitement down. This wasn't the first boy to have a physical resemblance to the boy-who-lived. Harry had been missing for more then five years; he was not coming back.

Then the boy looked up, and Hermione stopped breathing altogether. Those eyes. No one could duplicate those eyes. Urgently her gaze swept over the rest of the man, devouring every little detail. No, it couldn't be. This wasn't possible.

Harry was gone; and he wasn't coming back. Who did this man think he was? No one could replace Harry; no one had the right to try.

Before Hermione had time to verbally flay him alive the figure spoke, "Hello Mione." All her rage disappeared with that softly spoken greeting.

"Harry?" She breathed, confusion, hurt, bubbling happiness-all welled inside her and she wasn't sure which emotion was the strongest. She felt her legs buckle, and she sank to the floor.

This reaction had obviously alarmed Harry, because he yelled out "Hermione!" He tried to rush to her side, but he wasn't really there, so there was nothing he could do.

Omar was there to help her up and set her down in a nearby chair, "Harry?" She whispered again, drinking in her best friend's image. Her vision was blurred with tears and she furiously whipped them away, "Where are you?" She snapped, "Where have you been? I've looked everywhere! Why didn't you call me?" She was screaming by the end of it and knew she sounded slightly hysterical, but she couldn't find it in her to care.

It was Harry. It was really Harry!

Harry bit his lip, smiling his familiar sheepish smile, "Well, it's a long story."

Hermione shot him a watery glare, "I don't care, Harry, where are you?" She was suddenly on her feet a brilliant idea flashing through her mind, "I'm coming to get you." She announced, suddenly desperate to see her all-but-brother in person, to touch him and make sure he was real.

Harry winced, causing Hermione to freeze and narrow her eyes at him. Why did he not want her to come get him? Why had he run away in the first place? Was he in some sort of trouble?

"You can't come get me, Hermione." At the flash of her she knew as reflected in her eyes he quickly continued, "It's not that I don't want to see you, I do, but you really can't come get me. And I can't come home either." Again he paused, biting his lip and looking hesitant, "You're not going to believe this, Mione, but I'm on Pandora."

There was a lengthy pause while Hermione's brain caught up with the man's words and she sank back into her seat, "Pandora." She said at last, nodding to herself, "Okay, alright. I'm surprisingly not surprised to hear that."

Harry looked baffled by her reaction, "Why not?"

Hermione gave him another look, this one telling him just how stupid she thought that question to be, "Harry, I am no longer surprised by anything that happens to you. You attract trouble like a moth to the flame, and always wind up in the strangest situations."

"Hey!" Harry objected. When Hermione just stared at him he turned his face to the side, grumbling and pouting.

Hermione smiled fondly, "Alright Harry, tell me everything."

Pandora

~Harry~

Convincing Grace that Harry needed to contact someone on Earth was harder then the young wizard had expected. Apparently the crazy lady had decided (without consulting Harry or any of the other members of their team) that Harry would remain their 'little secret'.

Harry didn't think it was altogether fair of her to force him to pretend to be a girl for the next six years. He couldn't find it in him to put up much of a struggle, because, let's face it, the military division on Pandora was unlikely to be as understanding as the scientists had been.

And if there was one group of beings on Pandora that Harry wanted to avoid at all costs, it was the military. Especially a muggle one.

So Harry Potter was now Dr. Delilah Porter, and, Harry was dismayed to discover, Delilah was not important enough to make a call to Earth.

That had not been what Harry had wanted to hear, but there was no changing the Dragon Lady's mind.

That left Harry (now Delilah) one viable option…breaking into the communications control room.

Yes, Harry was a genius.

Of course it wasn't exactly a piece of cake, but it wasn't a completely impossible mission.

Okay, so had he been a normal-everyday-muggle then he would have been either shot or arrested (he was leaning towards the shot scenario himself). But Harry was as far from being a normal-everyday-muggle as a person was capable of being.

Using a nifty little spell Hermione had created back in Hogwarts to 'trick' the camera to show only the last thing it had taped was harder then he had thought it would be. Oh, the spell itself wasn't the problem since it was a fairly simple, no Harry ran into trouble when he tried to cast the spell.

He had known, technically, that his magic was in his avatar body but he hadn't thought it would affect his use of it. He could still access his magic but it was like trying to eat chili through a straw and left him exhausted.

Harry ignored the feeling and forced another spell out through the 'straw', the sleep spell hit the group inside the room and the surrounding area and people started dropping like flies.

Once inside Harry realized that he had no idea how to work any of the devices in the room. With an irritated huff Harry turned to enervate one of the nerds slumped over the keyboards.

Harry settled himself on an empty stretch of table next to the man and waited patiently for the man to realize he had company.

As the man's eyes swept over the room, taking in his unconscious comrades, Harry found himself unusually amused with the situation. An impish grin dances on his lips and he started to kick his legs in a childish move.

Predictably the techs head snapped towards the wizard when he caught the movement. Harry's delighted grin stretched further as the other man jerked towards what Harry suspected was a security alarm.

"I wouldn't worry about that." Harry told the man cheerfully, watching as the tech froze at his voice, "It won't do you any good, really."

The man's comically large eyes weren't quite so funny anymore, Harry now felt like he had kicked a puppy. Frowning Harry hopped off the table, "I had no reason to hurt you or anyone else but I really need to make a call, but this." He gestured around the room vaguely, "is a little over my head. Now, like I said, I don't want to hurt anyone…" He left the sentence hanging in the air between them; but it was an empty threat.

The tech didn't seem to realize that as he scrambled to do Harry's bidding, and Harry wasn't about to let him in on that little detail. It wasn't like he was actually hurting anyone, just scaring him a bit.

Minutes later the screen was up and running and the tech had dialed Earth, thinking Harry was preoccupied the man made a break for the door.

Harry was in front of him before you could say 'Hogwarts'. "Ah ah ah, where do you think you are going?" He chided the man pleasantly. Harry watched as the man stumbled away from him, stuttering through and unintelligible replay. Harry smiled up at him sweetly (it truly was unfair that just about everyone was taller then him), and patted him on the cheek sympathetically, "I'm truly sorry, my friend, but I'm afraid I can't have you go snitching on me."

The man only had a moment to panic before Harry slide his hand into the man's hair and pushed another wave of magic through his hand; alleviating him and sending him to sleep in one go.

Harry caught the man's limp body, staggering momentarily under the weight, before setting him gently against the closest wall.

"He turned around just in time to see Hermione's form flicker into existence.

"Hello, Mione.' Harry managed, unexpectedly relieved to see her, even if she was so far away as to be a dream.

Tthptthptthptthptt

Harry hadn't had as much time to talk to Hermione as he would have liked. Unfortunately he was expected to join the team in the link room shortly. Goodbye was inevitable.

"I don't know if I'll be able to call you again." He told Hermione sorrowfully, "If I try this too often someone will get suspicious."

Hermione nodded, "I understand," a pause, "Just stay safe, Harry. That's all I can really ask."

Harry smiled at her, intentionally ignoring her tears and the echoing ache behind his own eyes, "I'll see you as soon as I can." He promised before the link dissolved.

Harry stood there for a long time after that, uncomfortably shaken by his strong sense of loss at the disconnection from Earth and his friends.

In the week he'd been on Pandora he had not felt such an all encompassing isolation. It was hitting him now, and it was hitting him hard.

Harry wanted to go home.

Okay, I know it's not as funny as the last one, but I needed to start building up the plot. Anyway, I've had a lot of questions regarding the slash of this story. And yes, it is going to be slash. But I kinda need your help. I have a poll on my profile to help with this story. Right now I have two directions I can take this story and I'm having a hard time picking.

So, please Review, then go take the poll!

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