Authors' Note: Enjoy!
A few days later
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The Joker finally returned to the abandoned toy factory. His mood was light. He had gotten a lot of the jewelry from the robbery sold to private collectors and more money meant more crime. Easier to buy supplies than steal them. Although stealing was much more fun. He opened the door. "Honey, I'm home!" he said loudly, his voice echoing through the building.
Harley flinched when she heard his voice. She shut the fridge gently, having been looking through it for the past thirty minutes. She turned her head towards the door. He looked happier. Maybe he was feeling better now. She didn't move though, her face still hurting.
She had an ugly, purple bruise on her face and her eyes were sad. He frowned. He felt odd. The emotion was foreign to him. He approached her slowly, his arm lifted. He touched her cheek gently. "Oh. Did I do this?" he said quietly. His memories were fuzzy of that night.
Her head bobbed up and down, her hair falling into her eyes. She had long ago changed out of her costume and into a pair of normal clothes. Whenever she moved her mouth or eyes, her face hurt. The bruise was horribly ugly. She had only been able to force herself to look at it once.
He had never felt like this before. It was so odd...almost shocking. Disconcerting definitely. "I'm sorry. I...don't know what came over me. I won't do it again. I love you so much, Harley. I just...get so afraid of losing you that it drives me crazy," he sounded genuine when he said it. He always seemed to know what to say.
She looked up at him silently for a second, bright blue eyes searching for an answer. Was he really telling the truth? Well, he hadn't just left her. He had come back for her. If he didn't care, he would've just left her. As this realization washed over her, she leaned in for a hug. "I love you too, Puddin."
Joker's heart almost stopped beating when he thought she wouldn't forgive him. He wouldn't be able to handle abandonment very well. Actually, he didn't plan to be abandoned at all. He felt a huge wave of relief when she made the right decision. He hugged her back, squeezing her petite body against his. They fit so perfectly. They were made for each other. "Did you put something on it?" he asked, still holding on to her.
"I put some ice on it for a long time." Her voice was still quiet. She kept telling herself it was because her throat hurt, not because she was scared. If she hadn't put ice on the bruise it might have been worse, which was hard to imagine.
"Have you had anything to eat?" he asked finally releasing her. He kept a hand on her shoulder. He felt better touching her for some reason. He had spent the last few nights awake. Insomnia was hard to shake off from him. The Joker didn't really like to sleep anyway. It wasn't very safe and he was a very light sleeper. He always woke up at the slightest movement or sound. Even a pin dropping would have been like an alarm.
Harley shook her head back and forth, blond locks swinging. "I haven't been that hungry..." That was a lie. Her stomach had growled more times than she could keep track of, but she wouldn't eat. It was her own form of punishment. Just like in 9th grade when that boy said he would never date her. She knew exactly why she reacted this way. Psychology tells you things about yourself that you don't really want to hear.
"Well, I'm starving. Let's go get something to eat. I know a great place." He took her hand and started pulling her toward the door. His charming smile was back on his face. "It'll be really good. Pretty please." He looked so charming when he wanted to. His bright green hair in a messy disarray and his dark purple eyes sparkling.
Harley's heart gave a little flutter, nearly eclipsing her logical thought pattern. "We can go out to eat?" Wouldn't people recognize him? That wouldn't be safe. Not to mention she had a huge bruise on the side of her face and was wearing some old pajamas.
He stopped. "I know the owner of the place quite well. He can get us a private room." He looked her up and down. The pajamas probably wouldn't be exactly appropriate, "Just put on something nice. No one will see us." He was pretty confident in that assumption. If they were seen it would just be a nice surprise.
"All right. I'll be back in a second." Harley hurried over to her clothes, picking out a little black dress and some red high heels. She didn't bother leaving for the bathroom, choosing to strip down to her underwear in the middle of the room. He had seen all of her anyway.
He watched her undress with a grin. The Joker didn't politely avert his eyes. That would have been rude. He always thought that a body should be celebrated and admired. If you looked away from someone, you obviously didn't want to look at them. He really wanted to look at her. "You are so gorgeous, kitten," he purred. He stretched his hand, crackling his wrist. What time was it? Time didn't matter. It didn't end either. Just continued. Forever and ever. Never ending. Was time like a circle? Where was the beginning if there was no end? He was lost in thoughts again. His mind always seem to run in circles just like time did. Never ending loops of madness.
"Thank you, Mistah J." She smiled to herself, having gotten just the reaction she wanted. Soon, the little dress was over her head, hanging just a few inches above her knees. She would have to careful when bending over. Her feet slipped into the red shoes, her hands moving to tie the large red ribbon. She loved these shoes. There was something so joyfully fun about wearing bright red stilettos with a giant bow as the fastening. "I'm ready."
"Let's go then." He took her hand again and walked with her out the door. They decided to take the convertible. Such a flashy car. It was perfect for the special occasion.This was after all the first make-up dinner. It had gone pretty smoothly so far. He drove too fast like always and made his way to the back of a very fancy restaurant. He wore a purple hat to try to downplay the bright green hair. That seemed to always alert people to who he was. Make-up dinner. Hah. He liked the sound of that. Make-up...make out. It seemed to go together.
Harley smiled to herself as they came up to the fancy restaurant. Of course she had been to extravagant places before, but this was even better. It was much more fun because of the risk. Because of who she was with. As they passed a mirror-lined wall, her grin grew. They had to be the sexiest couple alive!
The private room was ornate. It even smelled expensive. How nice. He pulled out her chair for her and than sat down himself. The menu in front of him was full of delicious sounding food.He closed his eyes and ran his finger along the paper stopping at one. That looked good.
The menu was just as well-crafted as the rest of the restaurant. Yes, the place was extravagant, but it wasn't real. The menu was more-or-less the same. The food was made with no doubt more expensive, better ingredients, but the long winded descriptions were written to sell the food, not tell the truth. Harley wasn't stuck up. She just found the materialistic lives of the elite entertaining. Did they really have fun at these social dinners? Where the handsome young men really taking the airheaded girls out to eat because they loved and cared about them? Her family had lived among the elite. It was fun to be spoiled, but very lonely. Admittedly, she didn't quite live in reality now, but she liked this version of insanity much better. There was always insanity, the real question was whether or not a person or group decided to embrace it.
She looked so thoughtful as she scanned the menu. He grinned in pride. His kitten was so perfect. The ideal compliment to his comedic genius. He noticed a small boy standing in the back of the room. The young waiter had slipped in and seemed to afraid to come any closer. He was shaking all over like a leaf. The Joker smiled wide and crooked his finger, "You'll need to take our order at some point kiddo. I don't bark I just bite." He laughed at his own small joke and clicked his white perfect teeth together to make a nice chomping noise just for dramatic effect.
Harley laughed a bit, leveling her eyes with the kid. He didn't seem to shake as much when she looked at him. Maybe it's because she seemed like the nicer option of the two adults before him, which she probably was. "Now, now, don't frighten him too much, Puddin'!"
He laughed and shook his head, "Not many people can handle me that's all." She looked so beautiful is almost hurt when she laughed. He loved making her laugh. It made him feel so...elated. He turned to the boy, "I want the strongest alcoholic drink you could possibly serve and..." he paused to check the menu and said the name of the food in perfect French, "Coq au vin, s'il vous plaît."
"I'll have the Boeuf Bourguignon, please." Harley chimed, giving the youth an encouraging smile. The poor thing hadn't said a word. "And a bottle of Chablis." She handed over the menu, noticing how his hands were shaking.
The young boy took their menus fumbling with them as he started backing up. He nodded as he backed up. Once he left the room, Joker heard his footsteps pounding down the hall. He was really running. Running fast it sounded like. The Joker laughed so hard his eyes started watering. He must have been the devil himself to make someone run that fast. If only they all were as wise as the boy.
As Joker's laughter floated around her, Harley couldn't help but laugh. Of course, it wasn't really that funny at the core. The boy was frightened. It was no laughing matter. Yet it was so darkly humorous! Just like all those Southern Gothic books she read in school. As she managed to calm down, she caught sight of a mirror on the wall. It was interesting looking at their reflection.
He never got tired of looking at her. She was so proper and he was so...not. She put her napkin in her lap out of habit. All too soon, the food was delivered by the same pathetic boy. He barely managed to get the plates on the table without dropping and Joker barely managed to keep his laughter from exploding. Finally, the boy exited the room again and he grabbed a spoon. It was delicious. He ate the whole bowl in about five minutes. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten. A few days ago maybe? Time blurred together.
Harley ate her food daintily, unable to break the strict rules her parents had set for her. There had been so many time growing up that she just wanted to get dirty, make a mess, or at least shout for once. It was hard being perfect, but perfect is what her parents (especially her father) expected. Her mind drifted back to the mirror. How odd they must look? They were opposites in appearance. Yet, they looked right together.
He noticed her distraction and looked at the mirror as well. He steeled himself for the image. He didn't like looking at himself all that much. Liking to look at yourself made one quite narcissistic. He put his hand under his chin and looked back and forth at the images. Harley was blond, petite, curvy, and her blue eyes accented her angel's face magnificently. His green hair, pale-almost-translucent skin, bright red lips, and odd purple eyes made him definitely stand out as much as she did but in a very different way. They were both heartstoppers in a way. She was beauty divine and he was... unnaturally bizarre.
Suddenly, Harley looked over at Joker with a huge smiled on her lips. Her heart skipped a beat when she looked at him. "So, what're our plans after this, Mistah J?"
His smirk returned easily. "I have a great one. It just needs to fine tuning, more planning." His idea was truly brilliant. This would go off without a hitch he was sure of it. Suddenly, the boy popped back in the room. His eyes stayed on Harley and he seemed to be speaking to her. "Do you w-want something f-for dessert?" The Joker rolled his eyes. Weren't waiters supposed to address the person that was going to pay the bill first? He felt slightly insignificant.
Harley didn't even have to think to answer that question. She always got the same thing at any french restaurant she went to. "I'll have some Crème brûlée." There was something about the dessert that attracted her. Perhaps it was the fact that sometimes they brought it out while it was still on fire. It was exciting and different.
The waiter turned toward the Joker but never made eye contact. The boy looked at his writing pad instead. "I would like the Mousse au Chocolat." The kid nodded and darted from the room. Joker snorted and started tapping a finger on the table. He hoped it wouldn't take long for them to bring it out. He was getting tired of being in public. His eyes drifted back to Harley and he smiled, "Crème brûlée sounds excellent. I'll give you a bite of mine if I can have some of yours."
A shiver ran down her spine at those words. She couldn't help but notice the undertone of his voice. He had the sexiest voice, all rough and raspy from the laughing. "That sounds fine with me, Puddin'." She leaned against the table, flashing a bit of cleavage.
His heart skipped a few beats. Harlequin always seemed to know exactly what to do. He grinned. Just in time, the kid came back in with their desserts. He gave Harley a smile while dumping Joker's dessert unceremoniously on the table. Joker felt his hand tighten into a fist. That little boy better move quickly.
Harley didn't even bat an eyelash at the boy. True, he showed the potential of being very handsome when he grew up, but he wasn't at all her type. She liked things a little more...exotic. A smile graced her lips as she blew on her dessert. It looked like it might burn her tongue if she tried to eat it right away.
The Joker had just taken a mouthful of mousse when the door opened. He swallowed it quickly, annoyed that the boy was interrupting their dinner again. He glanced at the doorway and saw the most hideous sight one could ever lay eyes on. He dropped his spoon on the table and the metallic clink seemed to echo through the room. Joker stood up. His vision was hazy red and adrenaline rushed through his veins. The extreme hatred he felt was all-consuming. "Batman," he snarled viciously, "Have you come to join the fun?"
"Not really, Joker." Batman answered, preparing himself for battle. He glanced over at the gorgeous young woman sitting at the table. Joker must have taken her hostage. "What're you up to?"
Harley didn't know what to do. She stayed seated, waiting for a cue from Mistah J. He would know exactly what to do! God, Batman was so stupid. They weren't doing anything but having a nice dinner! They were even gonna pay for it!
The Joker burst out into laughter. He wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh, Batsy. You always ask the stupidest questions. Did you just want to come by for a chat? I'm a bit too busy to catch up on old times," he grinned. Batman needed to go rot and die. How Joker would love to get his hands around Batty's scrawny little neck. Joker's mind started to calculate. Would it be better to fight or run and save it for another day when he had a better plan in mind? He kept his eyes on Batman the whole time. He had learned from experience to always look out. One never knew when Battie could snap.
Batman narrowed his eyes at Joker. What was he trying to play at? Obviously he was up to something! He always was Batman remained perfectly still, not wanting to provoke any unecessary fighting in front of the girl. "I'm not here to chat, Joker. I'm here to help someone." He had gotten a tip that Joker was at dinner with some blonde bombshell and that he might have kidnapped her. Batman was here to save her.
Harley rose an eyebrow at that, looking around the room. Who the heck was he there to save? The only other people in the room were her and Joker. Batman must be losing it...
Joker's eyes widened as he pretended to look around the room. He shook his head a manic grin still glued to his face, "Well, Batty. Just who are you going to rescue?" His voice dripped with sarcasm. How could one man be such a complete idiot. It was almost comical how stupid Batman was. Joker was just itching to punch him in the face.
Was Joker trying to act dumb? That was a waste of his time. Batman knew how dangerous and smart Joker was. "I'm here to rescue her!" He gestured at the girl, still sitting there, looking a little more than confused. Why wasn't she moving, trying to run away? She must still be scared.
Harley let her mouth fall open a bit.How could the city of Gotham look up to this man? He was a pig-headed idiot! Was it so hard to believe that she may be here of her own free will? He might have noticed that had he not just burst into the room, ruining their lovely dinner!
The Joker's mouth fell open. Batman...trying to rescue...Harley? "WHAT?" he screamed. He was so mad he could barely see straight. He clenched his fists tighter to keep from spontaneously combusting. "Let me get this straight. YOU think that she DOESN'T WANT TO BE HERE." His voice was rising and his whole body was shaking with the effort of not going for Batman right that moment. How dare Batman think that he was keeping Harley hostage! Joker was suddenly struck with brillance. Once he captured Batman, he should really castrate him. Batman didn't have any balls anyway. Joker whirled around to face Harley. His angel. "Kitten, would you like to leave?" His voice became warmer. How could she want to go?
Harley looked at him tenderly, "No, Pudding, I'd never wanna leave." She whirled on Batman then, standing up finally. "You! Do you have any idea what you just did!"
Batman stood as still as a statue, trying to process what was going on. This beautiful woman wanted to stay...with the Joker. She hadn't been kidnapped...Did they have some sort of relationship?
"Hey! I'm talkin' to you!" She put her hands on her hips, "You've ruined a perfectly good dinner, which we were planning to pay for!"
Joker shook his head, annoyed. He was supposed to handle Batsy. Batman in his padded suit that him look like he needed to wear a bra. The Joker couldn't help but chuckle at that one. "I think it's time for the party to end. Toodles, Batty!" He pulled out a stun grenade and threw it at Batman's feet. The blinding flash and explosion gave Joker time to get in one solid punch. The crunch told him he could have possibly broken a bone which gave Joker such an elated feeling. It was a satisfying noise. He spun around as the smoke billowed and grabbed Harley by the arm. They needed to get out of here fast. He didn't want to have Harley around if he had to kill Batman.
Harley ran in the direction that she was being pulled, her eyes watering from the dust that had flew into the air after the explosion She managed to slip her hand into Joker's, liking that better than being pulled. His hand was so strong.
Joker pushed Harley toward the passenger side of the car and managed to get in the driver's seat while jamming the key in the ignition. He revved the engine and the car screeched as he pushed the pedal to the floor. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw no Batman. Another day Joker would kill him. Another day. It would have to be carefully executed. Killing Batman had to be Joker's greatest masterpiece.
Harley looked over at her Angel with her eyebrows drawn down. Now she understood why Joker hated Batman so much. Seeing the Joker's life was so much different than hearing about it in Arkham. He didn't let on how much pain he went through with anyone he made contact with. Everyone treated him horribly.The waiter, Batman...All because he looked a bit different and acted on his own impulses. "Puddin..."
"What, Harley? Got a new theory on how to fix me?" he said coldly. His jammed his foot on the gas pedal harder. The red tinge to his vision was fading but his hatred for Batman still coursed through his veins. He drummed his fingers on the wheel. He really wanted to kill Batman. Running him over would be nice. Joker had to be patient through. He had to wait until the opportune moment. His mind started playing scenarios.
She flinched a bit at his tone, as if each word had been a knife. "No..." Her voice was timid and small. Harley wasn't sure if she wanted to "fix" Joker any more. "I just wanted to tell you...I love you."
He stiffened at her words. He didn't really believe her all that much. It's just what she wanted him to think. Manipulation. They finally rounded the corner and he pulled into their hideout. He was torn between figuring out new ways to kill Batman or continuing details of the latest dramatic comedy. He sighed as he turned off the engine. He should probably pick the more logical choice. He wanted to hit the next place tomorrow night after all and details needed to be finalized.
Harley had looked down at her hands when he ignored her reassurance. She had noticed the slight stiffening in his muscles. Joker did that when bracing himself against something. Did he not believe her? How could he not believe her? She had thrown away so much to prove it, what more could she do? Sadness began pooling in the pit of her stomach.