Marriage carried connotations of ownership that he found highly repulsive and it entailed that he went along with it as if Shizuo could decide things for him. Suddenly, Izaya felt very silly, waiting here as if he was pining over Shizuo. He left his apartment and took a long walk to clear his mind. The realization that Shizuo did intend to put an end to their relationship dawned on him by degrees. Izaya picked up his pace, almost running down the streets.
All things considered, it was perhaps for the best. Izaya did not need getting tied down. It was a blunder against his much prized personal freedom. After all there was a wide selection of partners to choose from in such a large city as Tokyo and Izaya had the skill to pick at will. He thought himself into being content and even relieved at this outcome. But for some reason he still felt rather down and borderline testy.
He decided to drop by Simon's for some distraction then thought that Shizuo might be there and almost turned around. Then he realized that there was no way he was going to let Shizuo dictate his life. Izaya gathered some emotional momentum as he walked into the busy restaurant.
With that said it was with a mixture of disappointment and relief that he realized that Shizuo was nowhere to be found. He took a seat at the counter and soon enough Simon was ready to take his order.
"Orihara-san, welcome, welcome. Dinner for two?"
"I'm afraid not."
Simon suspected that something was off. Izaya might be smiling but that meant nothing. Simon made a mental note to leave the matter alone.
"Cheese sushi, tasty cheese sushi."
Izaya shot him a venomous glare that reminded Simon anew that his was not a usual costumer.
"Just get me some normal sushi. Ootoro preferably."
Izaya waited listlessly. He felt restless and unwilling to pay attention to his surroundings. Which was why he did not register that Kadota had arrived until he was sitting next to him.
"Where's Shizuo?"
Izaya tried to keep his cool.
"Clearly not here."
"You don't know?"
"I have no idea."
Izaya nibbled on a bit of fish. It tasted rubbery.
"Did something happen?"
He impaled a nigiri and pointed it at Kadota.
"'Something'? Not at all! Not at all Dotachin."
Kadota wished he had not asked. But it was difficult not to address it when Izaya was fuming and barely containing himself. Kadota had never seen Izaya truly angry and he hoped never to witness it.
"Oh, okay. Great."
"But say that something were to happen, say, like a certain Heiwajima Shizuo acting like an idiot, what then? That is the perennial question."
Kadota tried to excuse himself but it was too late. Izaya was on something of a roll.
"This is the problem with traditionalists, people who simply do not understand that societal structures have changed considerably. The gap between institutions and daily life as it is actually experienced is a proof that this new century is still unprepared to accommodate new realities."
Kadota scratched his head through his beanie. He did not at all understand Izaya's point but he supposed there was one.
"Sure."
"I am a free soul anyway. Fetters aren't for me."
"Izaya, I have to go run now-"
Fortunately for Kadota Izaya did not particularly care for an interlocutor. Kadota could slip away, his confusion undimmed.
"Oy, Simon. This fish isn't very fresh, get me another one."
Simon knew that it was the freshest tuna in Tokyo but there was no point to disagreeing with Izaya. At least Izaya did not drink and left early without further disturbance. Izaya left with no intention of going back home any time soon or even for the night. There were a few nightclubs he could hit, places of the city that stayed wide awake even in the darkest hours of the night.
On his way to one of these popular and sleek haunts he passed by a bridal shop and halted in front of the brightly lit window. Frilly white dresses, miles and miles of lace. How Shizuo could possibly want anything to do with this farce was so beyond Izaya that he had to shake his head in wonderment. It was beyond ridiculous. And if Shizuo wanted to call it quits on such a silly pretext then Izaya was more than justified in going for a one night stand.