Shizuo was silent for a while and paced back and forth, slowly.
"When I say 'marriage' I don't mean all the complicated stuff that you bring into it. I'm simpler than that, I mean the whole 'for better and worse' thing."
"It's not me who's bringing any cultural baggage into this, that's what marriage entails in itself."
"Maybe for some people, most people even but doesn't have to be that way with us. Why can't we make our own idea of marriage?"
"Why do we have to even bring marriage into it at all?"
Shizuo rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"How long have we been dating now?"
"On and off since high school."
"That's a long time. Why do you think it's been 'on and off'?"
Izaya blinked.
"I don't really know."
"It's because you have zero commitment."
"Now hold it right there. That's not true. I didn't cheat on you, ever."
"Izaya-"
"Whatever happens you dump someone doesn't count as cheating. You sure have a lot of nerve. I've 'hurt' you? Do you have any idea how it feels to be dumped by the guy you love? That's fucking pain for you!"
Shizuo started.
"What did you just say…? Love…?"
"You bloody idiot, that was never in question! You're more than a bastard, you're a downward sadist. You came up with your ultimatum just so you could get rid of me and then wash your hands. What, you have to come out as all righteous? I hate that. Did you get tired of me? Then have the honesty to tell me the truth."
Izaya forced himself to keep breathing lest he simply implode.
"You're getting it all wrong-"
"Oh? Who is the more intelligent of us two, I wonder. Actually, it might be you. I'm the one who got royally screwed while you're laughing at my expense!"
"It has nothing to do with intelligence. You're just too angry."
"Just get out."
Suddenly Izaya was deflated.
"Izaya-"
"Go out with whoever you want, pick up girls if you're into that, just leave me alone."
"I'm not like that. I don't want anyone else."
"Right…"
"You know, this is the first time you said you loved me."
Izaya chuckled bitterly.
"I bet you're all happy now-"
"I am happy for that."
"-since you can have fun at my expense so much better."
Shizuo made as if you touch him and Izaya slapped his hand away.
"Don't you even dare go there."
"Izaya, please listen to me. I'm sorry if you felt like I didn't care for you and I shouldn't have broken up with you. But try to see things from my point of view for a while."
"Why should I bother?"
Shizuo took a seat. It amazed him how Izaya managed to be a domineering presence even in his boxers amidst ruffled sheets.
"Because you're Orihara Izaya. Seeing other people's point of view is what you do best. You're a genius at it. You understand what makes others tick so please give me a chance to explain."
For a few tense moments Shizuo was sure that he was about to be dismissed for good.
"Fine, plead your case."
It was a strange wording and in his anxiety it took a while for Shizuo to realize that Izaya was allowing to go on. Shizuo took a deep breath.
"Do you remember the first time we kissed? You meant it as a joke. Do you remember the first time we had sex? You meant that as a joke, I know since you actually admitted it. Do you remember the first time I said I loved you? It was after sex and you laughed so much you actually fell out of bed. People think we're just fuck buddies and no, I don't care what people think but at times it sure feels that you agree with them."
"I suppose you have something of a point but I do take our relationship seriously."
Shizuo nodded, somberly.
"I can see that now. But Izaya, how was I supposed to know that? You've never showed it to me. So I thought I'd find out by asking you to marry me. If you said yes then you were serious. If you said no then you weren't…if so then it would be best to cut off all ties. If you don't love me as I love you then what is the point. That's what I thought."
Izaya followed Shizuo's every move as if to comprehend him via close observation.
"It's true that I don't think monogamy is natural. That means that I'd only to be faithful to someone I love."