I hope y'all liked the last chapter. Now how about we look at it from Booth's point of view? Enjoy!
Chapter Four: Denial
(Booth POV)
Before the kiss, I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about. We couldn't have a romantic relationship without the FBI getting involved and severing our partnership. We just couldn't.
Then, she kissed me and for a moment all of that went out the metaphorical window (I believe that's the saying) and all I could think about were her lips on mine and I felt so...light. Like she had taken all the stress away from my life, if only for a moment. But then all my past experiences began to flood my brain. Everybody who I ever allowed myself had either left me or I've left them and I couldn't do that with her. Brennan was-is the most important person in my life and I just couldn't risk losing her. Because I know that love doesn't last forever and sooner or later, she's going to realize that we don't belong together, that we're too different, and the only way we could be together is if one of us were to change who we were, and I don't want her to do that. I couldn't handle it if Brennan decided to change from the kind, loving, beautiful person that she is and me...well, I can't change. It's not possible. I can't change my beliefs and I can't change what's in my heart (metaphorically speaking). I don't have his kind of open heart. I just don't. So, that's why I did what I did.
I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed gently. Just enough so that she wasn't kissing me anymore. And when she asked what was wrong, my eyes instantly teared up and I told her. I told her everything that seemed to haunt my thoughts in a matter of seconds. I told her everything and she tried to reason with me, put I reasoned back and she dropped it, moving to lean against the railing. It was then that I realized that she was crying. I hadn't meant to hurt her and I was desperate to know if she forgave me. I asked her if we could still work together and she responded with a yes, but said that she had to move on and find somebody who would love her in thirty or forty or fifty years. Those words just about broke me, but I tried my best to keep my calm and nodded.
Then as we walked towards the SUV, I put my arm around her shoulders, trying to comfort her, though I doubt it worked.
I just home that nothing changes between us.
=( Okay that made even me cry. Not cause it was horrible but cause I'm surprised I can write anything that sad and deep at the same time. Did it make you cry? Please REVIEW!