Part X

Alexander woke slowly and, for the first time in a long while, actually felt rested upon doing so. Hephaestion had truly seemed better the night before. He had been sitting up, eating and from what Alexander could tell had slept peacefully through the night. Or at least most of it. The camp was still quiet which meant that it was not yet dawn. He was hopeful, though, that it meant Hephaestion was on the mend.

Raising himself up onto one elbow, Alexander peered over the edge of Hephaestion's cot and felt the breath stolen from his body when he saw it empty. For several endless seconds he could not move. His body was utterly frozen. Then he was scrambling; tripping himself in his bedroll and nearly upending the cot in his haste to get up. His mind had one single thought which was to find Hephaestion.

And find him he did as soon as he rushed out of the tent.

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Had it not been for the fear he could clearly see etched on Alexander's features in the pre-dawn light, Cleitus would have been tempted to chuckle at the prince's less than elegant exit from his tent. That fear did not fade from Alexander's eyes until he dropped to his knees before a dozing Hephaestion and placed a hand to his chest to feel the beating of his heart.

"Why did he not wake me?" Alexander demanded, his voice containing quite a bit of fire despite its hushed tone.

Cleitus shrugged one shoulder, the other supporting Hephaestion's head. "I do not know. He stumbled out less than an hour ago, naked as a babe, and refused to go back in. I got my chlamys around him and led him here so that the fire would keep him warm."

The fear left Alexander's eyes as he gently stroked Hephaestion's cheek, staring at him in wonder. "What is going on in that head of yours? Why will you not let me in?"

Hephaestion did not wake completely, but mumbled something unintelligible and leaned into Alexander's touch. Nor did he wake as Alexander took possession of him, curling up with his head pillowed on the smaller man's thigh. Even in sleep he knew when Alexander was near; knew also that it meant he was safe.

"I suspect that even now he is trying to protect you," Cleitus said quietly so as not to wake the slumbering man. "Part of it could also be pride. There is so very little that he can control at the moment and is likely hoarding all that he can. If he does not speak of it, it is his choice and no one else's."

Alexander's eyes did not stray from Hephaestion's relaxed features. "I do not know what to do."

"Nor can I tell you what to do," Cleitus sighed, leaning in closer to the fire. Without his cloak, the early morning chill seeped right through his thin chiton. "Though it will not be intentional, Hephaestion is the one who will dictate things between the two of you. You will have to be careful with him. Moreso than I suspect you have ever been."

From Alexander's expression he could tell that they were not the words he wanted to hear. Floundering about blindly was not a method Alexander would care for. And Cleitus knew that he could not blame him. To see the one that he loved most brought so low could only be agony for Alexander. There was no balm to ease Hephaestion's suffering, they both knew it.

"I should be able to avenge him. He should not have to worry whether or not the men who did this to him are still alive. They should have been dead the same hour we arrived here," Alexander insisted, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. "I failed him."

The sentence had not even died in the air before Cleitus was shaking his head. He grabbed hold of Alexander's chin, forcing him to raise his head. "Banish the thought from that sleep-deprived mind of yours. You did not fail Hephaestion. He would be dead by now if it had been anyone other than you searching for him. No one else would have recognized his horse and it was that medallion of yours that completed the path here. You saved him."

Even as he spoke he could see the denial in Alexander's eyes.

"I placed him in danger," Alexander insisted, eyelids sliding shut as though he would hide himself away. "I loved him too much."

Cleitus could only shake his head in disbelief. "There is no such thing, lad. The sooner you realize that the better you will both be."

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"... realize that the better you both will be."

While he was not entirely certain of the last part of Cleitus' statement, he knew that what came before had been the absolute truth. Selfish as he knew it made him, he craved Alexander's love like nothing else. He held onto every scrap of it, wrapping it tightly about himself and refusing to relinquish it.

He would sooner part with his own life even though he knew doing so meant that he would lose that love in the process. Alexander did not love weak men and that was the only thing he was capable of being any longer. Whatever there was about him that Alexander had once loved it was now leeched away entirely, leaving him utterly hollow. Better that Alexander not have to suffer through that decline and simply remember the love that had once been. Alexander could never love such a ravaged thing.

So he would simply fade away.

"If I never have to move again I will be utterly content."

Hephaestion chuckled, leaning forward to press his cheek to Alexander's rumpled hair. "That is because you are not the one with a rock for your pillow."

"You chose the location, not me."

"And you were the one who insisted that I be ridden like that demon mount of yours," Hephaestion reminded him, lowering his head so that he could bite the tip of Alexander's ear.

"Bestiality is not something I aspire to," Alexander murmured as he rolled off of Hephaestion's lap.

Both of them moaned as they slipped apart.

"I should hope not," Hephaestion yawned as he crawled after his love, drawing him into his arms as he settled down upon the grass. "Though I would be much obliged if you could get him to stop trying to bite my fingers off when I give him an apple."

Fingers grazed lightly over his throat, a caress—

–followed by a sharp bite at the juncture of his shoulder. He tried to twist away from the teeth, but hands and hips held him in place.

"Do you regret it now?" a panting voice slithered in his ear. "All you had to do was return to Athens and this would have never happened."

Being shoved repeatedly against the hard edge of the bunk, it took a minute for him to gather enough breath to gasp out, "I will never regret it. Never."

"Then you are a fool."

"Hush, love. I have you. You are safe." The voice glided over his skin, soothing and gentle. "You are safe with me. I swear it."

He willed the trembling to stop, clinging desperately to Alexander's knee. He could not give in. Not yet. The time for being weak would come later.

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"I will never regret it. I will never regret it. I will never regret it...."

Alexander doubted that Hephaestion was even aware that he was mumbling the same phrase over and again. His eyes were open, but there was a faraway look to them, his mind still trapped in whatever nightmare had woken him. Alexander did his best to shield Hephaestion, not wanting to expose his vulnerability to prying eyes.

Though it never occurred in his hearing, Alexander knew full well that there were those who mocked Hephaestion and what he had gone through. Ones who would exploit any weakness to their own advantages. Alexander felt nothing but contempt for such individuals. Hephaestion's body may have been weak at the moment, but his spirit was strong. Hephaestion was strong and he would recover and prove them all wrong.

Slowly, Hephaestion's breathing even out, the mumblings fading, and his love slept once again.

"May the gods guard your dreams," Alexander whispered, straightening as he became aware of footsteps approaching them. He inclined his head in deference to the man now crouching before them. "General Amyntor."

"Is he well? What happened?" Amyntor asked in a rush, his eyes scanning over every inch of Hephaestion's body. "How did he get out here?"

"He has not added to his injuries," Alexander was quick to assure the older man.

Amyntor gently lifted Hephaestion's left hand, enfolding it carefully within his own. "I could not help when I saw him lying here."

"Nor could I when I awoke to find him gone," Alexander admitted, a shuddering breath causing him to shake momentarily. "Cleitus tells me that he got out of the tent on his own power. Frightened as I was, it filled me with joy to hear it. His strength is returning. We should be able to return home soon."

Amyntor was silent a moment. "To which home do you refer?"

"Pella, of course," Alexander responded immediately, glancing up at his father's general. "But also to Mieza. Mieza is peaceful and quiet and Hephaestion always loved it there. He can recover there without the prying eyes of the court watching over him."

"He could do the same in Athens."

Alexander's eyes widened and he wrapped his arms protectively around Hephaestion. "Not to Athens. It is too far and it is no longer his home. Pella is his home now. He has created a life for himself there; please do not take him from it."

"You speak as though he would never return," Amyntor said, stroking a hand over his jaw.

An icy hand ghosted across Alexander's shoulders causing him to tremble once again. "I can make no claims on knowing future events," he said at last, his eyes tracking the fluttering of Hephaestion's eyelids. "I only know that there is something clamoring within me to keep Hephaestion from Athens. As though I will never see him again if he goes."

"I will not be able to keep him long in Athens," Amyntor sought to assure him even as he forced a smile. "Hephaestion will not be kept long from your side."

Irrational as they were, Alexander could not banish those creeping doubts. Lifting his head, he met Amyntor's gaze steadily. "Do not take Hephaestion from me. I could not survive his loss a second time."

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The sun was barely above the treetops when the foreman was brought before Philip. The fear that had cowed the man when he stood before the prince reduced him to a cowering mass at the sight of the king. Even without the title, the sight of Philip of Macedon could be a frightening thing. Battle scarred and ferocious, he was a being fit to haunt the darker dreams of even the strongest men.

Yet while Philip radiated power and malice, at his side, Alexander burned with an intensity to rival the sun. He did not speak a word while his father interrogated the stammering foreman, but there was no ignoring the force of his mere presence.

"I did not realize until after!" Harmolaus cried, tears and snot dribbling down his face.

"Did not realize what?" Philip demanded, circling the foreman who trembled before him on his knees.

"That he was not a slave. There was no reason for the Epirot to be in with the rest."

Standing at Alexander's side, Ptolemy did not miss the sudden indrawn breath or the way that his muscles tensed. Philip as well appeared momentarily disconcerted by the revelation.

"If you wish to see this day reach its conclusion you will bring this man to me." Philip ordered, coming to a stop directly in front of the foreman. "As well as any accomplices he might have had."

Though the rest of them began to disperse as the foreman rushed back towards the mine, Alexander remained rooted to the spot, his eyes unseeing. Philip stopped next to him briefly, but continued on just as quickly, unable to find any words to give his son comfort then.

"She would not do this to me."

The words were barely more than a whisper, but Ptolemy heard them as clear as though Alexander had shouted them.

"She would not try to take him from me."

In that moment, Ptolemy wished for all the world that it was true. Yet deep down he too feared that the queen was involved. When he was a page, Ptolemy had actually feared the woman who slithered about the passages like a viper. She was not a woman to be crossed for her vengeance was as quick and lethal as one of her reptiles.

It did not take any stretch of the imagination to lay some of the guilt at Olympias' feet.

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"We should get rid of him now. Alexander is distracted with the foreman and Hephaestion is unguarded. We will not having a better opportunity."