A/N: HOLY SHIT! Did you guys watch Big Time Song Writers Saturday night? That was so hilarious! I was dying the entire time… so much gayness in that episode… I loved it. The whole Jogan and Kenlosness… it was amazing. I really hope they enjoy their jobs, making complete asses out of themselves for a living… ANYWAYS! I hope you guys are happy that it's a rainy and gloomy day in NEW YORK CITTAYYY! Lol, but the rain makes me depressed and helps me write, so this chapter is going to be… I don't know maybe rated like, NC-17... We'll see how it all shakes out in the end.

DISCLAMER: Um, yeah read the previous ones. XD

XxX

Chapter 5: Passionate

JAMES POV

As soon as I heard the door shut with Carlos and Logan behind it, I immediately looked at Katie.

What had gotten into her? She told me it hurt to be alive. She said I was being a bitch. I killed her brother. Then she said she loved me.

I could handle all of this. But when she leaned in and kissed me, I had drawn a line. Yes, I still loved Katie. Now… it just seems so wrong after what I did to… after what I did to Kendall.

I was about to ask Katie why she had just kissed me, but she stopped me, the first chance she got.

She jumped off of his barstool, and pushed both her hands onto my chest.

"Katie, what… what are you doing?"

"James, I want you."

"Katie, no. You're…you are way too young." What happened? I wanted to be with Katie so bad, and now look at me… Kendall was right. I don't want this. I want him to be here, with us. Doing what we usually do on the days we have off. Not laying in a supply closet, dead, because I killed him…

Her hands rubbed around my chest, as she pushed me towards the countertop. I felt her body heat against mine, giving me a tingling sensation deep in my groin.

No! This can't happen. This is like torture. Everything about Katie reminds me of Kendall. Her smile, her laugh, the way she's the dominant one. She's a Knight through and through.

She started to climb her way onto my lap, pulling my hair, so that my face could meet with hers.

Katie was beginning to cross a line. This was way out of hand. But why wasn't I stopping her anymore? Were my feelings getting the best of me?

I felt her lips brush up against mine, and she wasted no time in kissing me deeply, asking for entrance into my mouth with her tongue. She poked the corners of my lips with her tongue begging for me to comply, which I finally did.

Her tongue dove straight into my mouth, as I did with her. The hotness and intensity of it all, made me want to go further even though I knew it was wrong. My hands grabbed her waist, so that I could pull her down closer to me. She arched her back to my touch, as I grinded my hips towards hers.

I let my hands travel up her shirt, gently slipping it off, as she tore off mine.

KATIE POV

What was happening to me? I was supposed to hate James. I was supposed to want him dead. But I felt so attracted to him right now.

Kissing him felt better than before. It felt more passionate. So intimate.

Both of us leaned against each other, shirtless, body heat coming together. His hands moved up and down my sides, touching me in all the right places.

"James…" I said as a moan. I'm guessing James liked me moaning his name, as he began to leave a trail of soft kisses down my neck to my collarbone.

I latched my arms around his waist, slowly slipping my thumbs into his jeans.

"Katie…wait." He whispered into my ear.

"What? James, please…don't stop." I frowned.

"No, I'm not. Just hold on a second." He gently pushed me off of him, causing me to sit in the barstool. He got up and walked over to the window, closed it, then the curtain, causing the room to dim.

I couldn't help but stare at his body as he walked back towards me. It was so sculpted, so perfect. He was the definition of perfect… except for what he did to… Kendall.

I gulped at the thought, but quickly snapped back in my trance of watching James. When he came all the way over to me, he grabbed my wrists with both hands and pulled me off the stool, leading me to my room. He opened the door, continuing to walk over to my bed, gesturing me to lay down.

I did as told, as I threw the countless pillows to the floor, giving us room for whatever was about to happen, since I only had a twin bed. I laid down flat on my back, looking up at James.

He came over to me, and straddled my hips, leaning down to place a gentle kiss to my lips. I went along with it before he pulled away.

I let out a whimper, because I missed having James on my lips. Looking down I worked my fingers to his jeans, and undid the button, slowly pulling down the zipper.

James got up, and stood near my bed. "Here, let me make this easier for you." He said, as he pulled down his jeans, revealing his long hairless legs, and grey briefs that hugged him ever so nicely.

He climbed back on top of me, pealing away my shorts, before throwing them to the side.

"James… please… I need you…" I whispered.

"Okay. Anything, Katie. Anything." He whispered back.

His arms wrapped around my waist when he leaned down to kiss me. As I lay there in only my bra, and underwear, with James in just briefs on top of me, was what I had always wanted. But the moment I'm getting it, just doesn't feel right.

Kendall wouldn't want this. He didn't believe in James and I being together. I always listened to my big brother. He knew what he was talking about, and his advice always helped me. Immediately I regretted asking James to keep going. I didn't want this anymore.

James started to pull of his underwear, until he was completely exposed, and erect, on top of me. I couldn't help but stare at the beautiful sight before me.

I felt him start to latch his fingers in the band of my underwear, pulling them down to my ankles. I started to get nervous when I saw fear in James' eyes. He has done this before, right? I mean he's eighteen… He can't be a virgin.

I just hoped he would go easy on me… He knew this was my first time. James would never hurt me physically.

He pressed one more kiss to my lips, before taking hold of his erection, and sliding into me.

"James! Oh god…" I screamed. I liked it, yes. But at the same time it hurt so bad.

"Does it hurt? Should I stop?" He asked in a panicky tone.

"I… I don't know? Just, go I guess."

He looked at me and nodded, as he pulled out half way, and thrust forward easily. As long as he kept this pace, I think I can endure it.

I grabbed the sheets, to try and ease the pain that I was in. I felt James pick up speed, going a little harder, than I would have liked.

"Ow, James. Please. Don't. Stop… I don't…uhhh… I don't want this anymore!" I pleaded.

James looked at me, and picked up speed and pressure again.

"Ow! Please, James!" Tears started to form in my eyes.

"Katie, I'm doing this for you… You said that you wanted this. You said that you wanted me. Well here it… is!" He said as he rammed into me.

"James!" Why wouldn't he stop? I just wanted him to stop. I couldn't take it anymore.

Suddenly I felt drips of water form on my stomach. They came from above, so I let my eyes travel to the source. It was coming from James. James was crying. Out of all the years I've known James, I have never seen him cry once.

He started to slow down pushing into me, until he came to a complete stop, and collapsed next to me on the bed, face down.

I listened to the loud sobs that ripped through his body. Each tear that escaped, shook his frame smaller than the last.

"I'm sorry!" He screamed. "I'm so fucking sorry!… Kendall! Kendall, Kendall, Kendall!" He continued to cry.

"James, wha-?" I tried to say. But I was interrupted by James screaming again.

"I'm sorry Kendall! I never meant too! Please, please, please forgive me Kendall! I don't want you to go! I love you bro! Who's going to lead us now? … Kendall! I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…"

James pushed himself off of my bed, and gathered his clothes off the floor, getting dressed quickly.

"James, where are you going?" I asked.

He didn't answer me. He just kept continuing to get dressed, fixing his hair occasionally, before walking to the door of my room, and storming out.

I hustled off of the bed, pulling my underwear, and pants back on, slipping my shirt on last.

I ran out of my room into the main room of our apartment, watching James open the front door.

"James!" I shouted.

"Bye Katie." He said before he slammed the door shut.

I followed to the door, before reopening it. "James! Come back!" He just ignored me and kept walking. I was going to run after him, until my eyes caught sight of the supply closet door, and images from last night flooded into my mind, breaking me down with a myriad of tears. I walked back into the apartment, closing the door, and sinking to my knees, letting emotions take over.

JAMES POV

What have I done to Katie? How could I do that to Kendall? I just want to escape everything.

I walked down the hall of the second floor, ignoring Katie's calls, for me to come back. I couldn't see her right now… not after what I did to her.

My face and neck were soaked in tears. I didn't know where I was going, but anywhere but here was fine. I needed to get out of the Palm Woods, and I needed to get out fast.

I began to run down to the lobby, hoping to avoid anybody I knew, so that they wouldn't see me broken down.

I made it outside, quicker than I thought, without any trouble from people in the lobby. Sure, I got a few stares, but it was better than being trapped in our apartment feeling like I couldn't breathe.

The fresh air felt good, as it filled my lungs. Once I felt like I had enough air to continue, I began running again, letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted to go.

I don't know how long I was running, but it had to be long, since I couldn't see the Palm Woods anymore from behind me.

XxX

A/N: Um, I don't even know what to say… Sorry? Lol, yeah I had to do that… Oh and yeah, if you're a James fan… Well your welcome for giving your some naked James up there ^^ Lol's. And I promise the next chapter will have more Cargan… I miss them in this chapter, lols… TOO MUCH JATIE.. CAN.. NOT.. COMPUTE! ^_^ Review? xD