A/N: So like I really don't know what to say about this chapter. ITS GOING TO BE PRETTY EPIC! … I hope … O_O OH BY THE WAY… KATIE'S NOT IN THIS CHAPTER CAUSE SHE'S NOT HOME!

DISCLAIMER: Is it a good thing to belt out Stuck, while writing this ? Lol . I STILL own nothing -.-

XxX

Chapter 7: Lost and Found

THIRD PERSON POV

James had come back home late last night when everyone was asleep. He had seen that Mrs. Knight had returned, her keys on the table giving her away.

It was fairly early in the morning, only a few rays of sun beaming through the blinds. For a Saturday, it was oddly quiet at the Palm Woods. Some people actually did go outside early. They either had a quick swim, or rehearsed their scripts.

Everything surrounding apartment 2J was still. The air, the sound. Everything. Katie kept to herself most of the day, and James was hiding behind his shadow.

He was scared to say anything. He felt as if whatever he said, it would screw things up even more.

Carlos being his natural happy self even knew something was going on. He usually wasn't too good at keeping his hyperactive personality at bay. But in the past few hours since he and Logan returned, it just felt… right.

Of course Mrs. Knight knew nothing. She had only arrived home less than 24 hours ago. Nobody knew what was coming to them. Nobody knew that their world would crumble right before their eyes.

"Hey sweetie." Mrs. Knight said, as she walked into the room. She placed a gentle kiss on James' forehead.

"Hey…" His voice sounded more nervous than intended.

Mrs. Knight gave him a concerned look. "What's wrong James? Come on spill."

Oh mothers.

"Nothing. Just tired I guess." James felt proud when his lie came out smoothly.

They let the silence linger in the room for a few minutes, but soon snapped their heads towards the door of Carlos and James' room. Rustling and banging could be heard behind the closed door and they wondered what Carlos was doing in there.

"Crap! Where the hell… is… ugh where is it!" Carlos practically shouted.

Mrs. Knight and James exchanged curious glances before averting their gaze back to the door. More muffles could be heard from Carlos. Sounds of draws opening and slamming shut also were emitted from the cracks.

"Geez why is he yelling now?" A grumpy Logan said as he strolled out into the kitchen.

"I don't know. It sounds like he's looking for something." James answered.

"Well he needs to lower his voice. I'm trying to get some rest before we head to the studio today. You know how Gustavo gets whe-" Logan's sentence was cut off when Carlos pulled open the door.

"Shit!" He shouted.

"Carlos." Mrs. Knight said firmly. "I will not have foul language while I'm around. You may be eighteen, but you still live under my roof!"

"Sorry Mrs. Knight. Sorry for waking you up Logan, you still look tired." Carlos apologized.

"No really?" Logan answered sarcastically. "Well I'm already up, so I might as well stay up. Thanks a lot Carlos."

"Hey! I said I was sorry. But I can't find my helmet! And I have a breakfast date with the new girl!"

"Wait. You have a date? With Julie? Isn't she out of your league? And your not wearing your helmet on a date! You'll look like an idiot!" This was the first time that day that James had shown any kind of emotion.

"Yes! Is it that hard to believe that I have a date?" Logan and James laughed hard, just for the fact that Carlos is so oblivious. Even Mrs. Knight had to try and stifle her laughter. "And why can't I wear my helmet? I think it looks good on me!" He said with a smile.

"Don't you remember what Kendall and Jo taught you?" James' heart sunk to his stomach at Logan's words. "That whole speed dating thing? Yeah, I'm with James on this one. Don't wear your helmet."

"God! Fine! Fine! I won't wear the helmet! But I need to find it! I've had that since we've met… at Peewee Hockey!" Carlos began searching the main area of the apartment, lifting cushions, and tables, in hopes of finding his 'lucky' helmet.

"Speaking of Kendall, have you guys seen him? He hadn't called me when I was in Minnesota. And why is he not home?"

Logan just shrugged at Mrs. Knight. It was sort of disappointing to her, as Logan always had the answers. She looked at Carlos, but figured he was too busy to answer her.

Finally she looked at James. He looked so scared. He knew where Kendall was. But he needed to make a lie. And it had to be good.

"He came in late last night. Maybe like, ten minutes after I got home… But um, he left earlier this morning, before you came out of your room. He said he was going over to Jo's. For uh, breakfast. They were going to spend the day together… I told him to call you when he gets the chance. But he might be a little busy with Jo." Hoping Mrs. Knight and Logan bought his lie, he finished off with a smile.

"Hmm. That's not like him to not say anything. He didn't say anything to you Logan?" He shook his head. "What about you Carlos!" She shouted so he would heard her.

"No!" He shouted right back. The living room looked slightly messy, as Carlos tore everything apart to find his most prized possession.

"Wait. James, what do you mean busy with Jo?" Mrs. Knight asked, a hint of curiosity in her voice.

James had to think about that one. It kind of just slipped out. "Uh, heh, you know. Teenage stuff…" Mrs. Knight gave his a death glare. He wasn't too convincing. "Oh come on mama Knight. We're eighteen! It's bound to happen some day! And Jo is a sweet girl, I'm sure they're fine." He knew what he meant by his words. But he also knew that it was all a lie. He didn't even know where Jo was.

"Well… I guess your right." She finally said. "So, what do you guys want for breakfast?"

"Not that hungry." James said. Mrs. Knight heard Logan call out 'me neither'.

"Okay, well, I'm going out to go get some groceries for tonight. I'll be back soon. If you see Kendall tell him I said to call me immediately!" She walked over to each boy and placed another kiss to their foreheads.

"Please be careful. I'll be back soon."

"I promise I'll keep them under control." Logan assured with a laugh. Mrs. Knight nodded and opened the door, closing it right after.

"Oh my god! Where the hell is it? Can you guys please help me find it!"

"Sorry Carlos, I'm going to take a shower…" James said. He got up from the counter and walked towards the bathroom.

"Damn it! Logan? … please!" He whined, with his most puppy dogged face he could create.

"I'm uh, going to sit here, and uh, bleep blap bloop." Logan was such a timid person. It amazed people how he had such a crazy, spontaneous girlfriend like Camille.

"But I'm gonna be late for my date! It's already 9:45! I'm supposed to meet her at 10! You know that's not enough time, Logie! Please!"

"Ugh… Fine!" Logan finally gave in.

XxX

In the shower James began to process everything. Seeing Mrs. Knight made everything worse. He thought it was bad that… that Katie reminded him of Kendall. But the fact that Mrs. Knight was his mom…

The hot water was melting most of his pain away. Most. It relieved some of the stress building up inside of him. What was wrong with him? Was this actually happening to him? To everyone? It wasn't fair. Everyone's life is screwed… and it's all his fault.

Maybe he had to do something to fix it. If he just relieved his pain. His brain couldn't compute the guilt and sadness that crowded it.

"Ah, mmph…" James let out a strangles grunt. While bashing his conscience he hadn't even realized that he had grabbed the razor and brought it to his skin. A small drag could be seen, only a few inches from his wrist.

It wasn't enough for him. James needed more. He began to rip the blade apart. Blade by blade he peeled it apart, tearing the plastic to get closer to them. He was finally satisfied when in front of him lay five small blades. Most of them looked pretty dull, so he picked up the sharpest looking one, bringing it up to his forearm with a shaky hand.

Not really caring where he should go, he brought it next to the first cut he made and slid it across the skin in one quick motion.

James gritted his teeth, a hiss escaping his mouth. He didn't think it would hurt that much. But deep down inside he still wanted more. It felt so god. And it distracted him from the emotional pain.

Even though it had only been three days since he kill-… All he wanted was his friend back. But he knew that would never come true.

Cutting a few more slits across his arm, he watched as the warm red liquid leaked down his arm. He smiled at his work, but soon dropped the smile for a frown.

James hated himself for showing weakness.

James Diamond doesn't work like that.

Couldn't this be a nightmare? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't a dream.

XxX

Carlos and Logan continued to search the apartment for Carlos' helmet. Given the time he knew he would have to cancel his date. While James was in the shower they moved over to Logan and Kendall's room. It wasn't in there either.

Logan went to the couch and sat down letting out a huge sigh. He was exhausted. How did Carlos have that much energy anyway? Oh yeah… ADHD.

"Logan! You can't sit now! We have to keep looking!" Carlos pleaded.

"Carlos, I'm tired. I'm sure you'll find it soon though. Just keep looking."

"Okay… I'm gonna go check the hall. Maybe I left it out there." Carlos trailed off as he walked out of the apartment, not even bothering to shut the door.

Logan could hear the water being shut off in the bathroom, and he knew that James was done. Of course he would probably see a shirtless James walk across the living room to his room, but Logan had to admit… he didn't really mind.

James hadn't even bothered to wrap his arm. The bleeding was slowing, but it still dripped every now and then. He figured Carlos left for his date, and Logan was in his room studying for an upcoming test.

But he was wrong. As he opened the door, he saw Logan sitting on the couch staring into space. Maybe he could sneak across without Logan, the future doctor, questioning him about the blood trickling down his arm.

James began to walk out slowly, hoping not to draw to much attention to himself. Logan looked in James direction when he came into view. At first he hadn't noticed anything. Just that James looked a little…off?

But then his face went white. "James?…" He asked shakily.

"Logan, don't. Just… just leave me alone okay?" Logan ignored James' words, and rose from the couch and walked towards James.

James backed away a little when Logan tried to grab his wrist. "James let me see it." He said calmly.

"No! It's just a wrist! There's nothing special about a-"

"Did you do this?" Logan asked in disbelief. "James, why would you do this?"

"It's nothing! I'm fine! Can I go get dressed?" James had felt slightly uncomfortable in a towel with Logan practically up against him.

"No. Tell me what's wrong James. I want to help you."

"You won't understand! Nothing is wrong! I said I was fine! Please Logan… leave me… alone." Tears started to form in James' eyes, and Logan couldn't help but notice this. He brought his hand up to James' face, and wiped some fallen tears away with his sleeve.

"James, you can tell me any-"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" They heard Carlos scream from the hallway. "NO!"

James stood in his place, and gulped loudly, as his face turned white. This couldn't be happening.

Logan ran out to the hallway, leaving James by himself. Once he reached outside he found Carlos by the supply closet door. He stood frozen in his tracks, his face a ghostly white. In fact it was too white for a Latino to ever be.

"Carlos?" Logan panicked. He rushed over to Carlos when he fell to kiss knees. Loud sobs ripped through his body. It was so heartbreaking to see Carlos this distraught, it made Logan nauseous. He was afraid to look within the closet.

He knelt on the floor beside Carlos, gripping him tightly as Carlos cried into his chest.

"Kendall!" He shouted.

Kendall? Logan thought. Finally building up the strength and courage, Logan turned his head and looked into the closet. The sight before his made his heart skip a beat.

There lay Kendall, strewn out on the floor, knife jabbed in side, and a pained look on his face.

Logan couldn't help the tears that flowed down his cheeks. He turned his head into Carlos' shoulder, as Carlos had his head buried in his.

"Oh my god." That was all Logan could say. How could someone do that to Kendall?

James stood there, knowing what they had seen. He couldn't help the tears that also fell from his eyes, as he heard both of his friends in so much emotional pain.

He walked out into the hallway, and his jaw dropped at the awful sight before him. His friends were so broken, as they sat on the floor crying their eyes out.

They both lifted their heads up to look at James.

"James… look." Carlos pointed to Kendall, without looking in that direction. James forced himself to look, just for Carlos' sake. He hadn't realized how bad it actually was. Blood covered the carpeted floor, and engulfed Kendall's body like the ocean. The knife was shoved through his side in a grotesque angle, and his eyes were left open, his green orbs shouting in pain.

James had made him suffer. And he felt like the biggest dick in the world.

"I don't understand, James!" Logan said. "Why! Why, why, why? He didn't deserve this! No!"

James sat down beside both of his friends, and wrapped his long arms around both, and pulled them into a tight hug. They each took a shoulder of James' to cry on, and he couldn't help but let the sobs violently shake his body either.

"I know guys… I know." He managed to say.

XxX

A/N: OMG! I feel like such a horrible person :/ damn… I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to put that much drama… okay maybe I did. BUT…. Chapter 8 should be up soon, kind of… I hope. Lol. This is where the REAL DRAMA STARTS! Yeah I know, hard to believe right? Like there hasn't been enough already pshhttt.

Okay till next time… review? xD