Part XV
They were half a day's ride from Pella when they stopped to set up camp for the night. The chosen campsite was a juncture in the road: one continuing on to Pella, the other leading towards the main road to Thermia. All of them knew what it meant even if they did not speak it. Alexander and Hephaestion had one final night together before their fathers forced them along different paths. Though it was not a decision that any of them spoke of, it was understood that Alexander and Hephaestion would be left to their own devices that night.
"Do you think they will try to make a run for it again?" Leonnatus wondered aloud as he glanced towards the small fire Alexander and Hephaestion had built for themselves under a nearby tree.
Ptolemy uncorked his flagon of wine and raised it towards his lips while he spoke. "The king has both their horses under guard. If they mean to escape they will have to do it on foot."
"Which is something they could very well do."
Ptolemy took a long pull of his wine, hoping that it would not come to that. While he did not think that it was wise to separate them given all of the recent turmoil, in the end it was not his decision to make. Hephaestion may have been freed from the mines, but there were still those who wished him dead. A wound on the left side of Hephaestion's throat proved it. While there was no doubt that the jagged wound on the right side of his neck was caused by Hephaestion himself, on the left side there was a similar cut that Hephaestion had also received that morning. The second injury—along with several minor cuts on the outer edges of his hands –received from the page that Hephaestion had killed. Hephaestion had been unable to recall if the second page had been present and, in truth, had not been able to recall much about the attack itself. Had Alexander and the physician not been intimately aware of each of Hephaestion's injuries and spotted the new ones it would have been difficult to determine whether Hephaestion had been attacked or simply killed Arybbas unprovoked.
"Even if Hephaestion is taken to Athens I do not think they will be apart long," Ptolemy said quietly, passing the flagon to Seleucus.
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Now that they were so close to Pella, Philip was no longer so certain that it was wise to place Alexander and Olympias in such close quarters. While he did not think for an instant that Olympias would harm the boy physically, he could not be so certain that Alexander would not try to kill his cursed mother. Philip would not mourn the mad woman's demise, but he could not risk his heir being driven to insanity by the Furies for murdering her. Better either to arrange to have her killed by another or send her back to Epirus in exile and let her brother deal with her lunacy. Philip was certain that he could gain the man's loyalty by offering up his daughter Cleopatra's hand in marriage when she came of age in a year or so. It would also serve to neutralize Olympias by making Cleopatra the link between the Macedonian and Epirot royal houses.
"I think that I should depart with Hephaestion and our escort at sunrise tomorrow," Amyntor said as he came to stand next to Philip. "Some extra poppy seed in his wine tonight and he might not even wake until we are already underway."
"Less dramatics that way."
Though neither of them spoke of it aloud, they did not relish having to separate their sons the following day. It was, however, a necessity if Hephaestion was to be kept safe.
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"I do not want to think of what tomorrow will bring," Alexander murmured, tightening his grip upon Hephaestion briefly. "Your father will never let you return. He blames me for what was done to you and will keep you in Athens. Maybe even send you off to Argos like he mentioned."
Hephaestion's hands came up to hold his wrists and he turned his head, brushing a kiss against Alexander's upper arm. "Sending me away does not mean I will stay away. My father knows this."
"He will still try."
"He will fail."
Try as he might, Alexander could not convince himself that Amyntor did not mean to separate them permanently. It would not surprise him if the general tried to sneak Hephaestion out of the camp before dawn. Hephaestion could very well be gone when he next awoke. So he hugged Hephaestion tighter to his chest as though the act alone could keep his love with him.
"I worry for you; when you see your mother again," Hephaestion said quietly a few minutes later, his voice nearly drowned out by the noise of the camp that easily penetrated the hide walls of the tent. "She will not take well to the fact that she was not able to remove me from your life."
Alexander pressed his lips to the smooth skin behind Hephaestion's ear, his eyes squeezed shut tight. "You are my life and my mother would do well to remember it."
Hephaestion sighed deeply, his body slumping away from Alexander. "I wish that you had never found out. I would have spared you that knowledge if I could."
"How would you have done that?"
Hephaestion's silence confirmed Alexander's fears at once. His love had not meant to return from Athens. The slumped, dejected set of Hephaestion's shoulders spoke volumes. The very thought of Hephaestion taking his own life made Alexander feel ill and he brought his hands up to his face, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes as though he could block the sight of Hephaestion's corpse lying bloodied on the ground.
"You will come back from Athens?" Alexander finally managed to choke out.
Slowly, Hephaestion turned his body so that he was facing Alexander. Lifting a hand to finger the longer strands of the other man's hair, he nodded his head. "I will return."
Relief caused Alexander's body to sag against Hephaestion's. Palms resting against the taller boy's shoulders, he leaned forward to brush his lips against the angry red cut that had nearly taken Hephaestion from him. As he leaned forward he could feel the slight tug on his own neck as the leather cord that held the medallion he wore swing briefly. A medallion that he was now the sole wearer of.
Straightening quickly, Alexander began to fumble for the knife belted at his waist.
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He was not sure what to expect when Alexander reached for his knife. He did not flinch away, though. There was no need because he knew that Alexander would not harm him. He was proved right when Alexander brought the short blade to his own head and sawed off a curled lock of hair from behind his ear. He opened his mouth to ask what was going on, but closed it when Alexander reached towards the medallion he wore about his neck. A medallion identical to one he had once worn as well. The medallion twisted apart to reveal a hollow where a short passage of the iIliad/i to be contained… or a lock of hair.
"If I cannot be with you in person, I would have a part of me go with you," Alexander murmured as he lifted the medallion over his head.
Hephaestion pursed his lips, knowing that any attempt he made to speak would result only in a few cracked, broken sounds. Instead he tipped his head forward, allowing Alexander to slip the knotted leather cord over his head. Hephaestion held the medallion in his hand, the wood warm from resting against Alexander's chest. He rubbed his thumb over the carved images of Achilles and Patroclus, silently lamenting the loss of his own.
It was a surprise when the hilt of Alexander's knife appeared suddenly before him. Hephaestion slowly lifted his head, staring intently at Alexander's serious expression.
"I want her to know that I stand united with you," Alexander said solemnly, his free hand coming up to hold the side of Hephaestion's neck, fingers ruffling through the cropped strands of hair at the base of his skull. "To know that every hurt you have suffered is a wound to my soul. It is a trite symbol compared to all that you have endured, I know, but I can think of nothing else to show her the extent of what she meant to do. Please, Hephaestion."
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The sky was only beginning to shift to purple when Amyntor slipped into the tent Hephaestion and Alexander had kept themselves secluded in for much of the night. Guards were posted all around it to ensure that the pair did not attempt to leave the camp, but Amyntor did not think an attempt would be made after Alexander had willingly returned following their first one. While he took no joy in the guilt that had brought about that return, he was nonetheless grateful for it as it had ensured that Hephaestion was kept safe.
Amyntor was brought up short when he caught sight of the two youths tangled together in a mess of furs and other blankets. The dim light not withstanding, it took him a moment to recognize Alexander with his hair cropped so closely to his skull.
"I will not go with you, Father."
Amyntor's gaze immediately turned to his son, surprised to find Hephaestion staring up at him.
"I will not leave Alexander."
"We have discussed this, Hephaestion. It is better for you to return to Athens with me," Amyntor protested, keeping his voice low so as not to wake Alexander and add a second voice to the protests. "You will be safe in Athens."
Hephaestion separated himself from Alexander and sat up, his face an image of solemn amusement. "I am not even safe from myself at the moment, Father. How can you possibly think that I will be any safer in Athens? Have you conveniently forgotten that not even a week ago I attempted to slit my own throat?"
"You had just been attacked and were not thinking clearly," Amyntor sought to rationalize.
"Except that I was," Hephaestion said calmly, draping an arm across his drawn-up knees, the other reaching out so that he could lay a hand on Alexander's chest. "I saw a body coming towards me and knew that I would not be able to escape except by removing myself as a target. I will not be used for sport ever again."
Amyntor sighed deeply, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. "I will take you to Athens by force if I must. Whether you will see it or not, you are in danger here."
"Then I will suffer the consequences."
It was becoming clear that he would need to resort to physically removing Hephaestion from Alexander's side in order to get him to leave the other youth. Enough time had passed that Hephaestion was recovering from his physical injuries and could no longer be ordered about like a meek puppy. As much as that information comforted him, likewise, Amyntor could not help but be frustrated by it. Had they not been so far inland he would have been able to take Hephaestion home sooner. It was travel over land by horseback that Hephaestion had not been fit for. Traveling by boat would have required him to do nothing more strenuous than lie on a make-shift couch.
"Please try to understand that what you ask of me is impossible, Father."
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That he was so slow to wake surprised Alexander. Even more surprising was the fact that he could feel Hephaestion curled up against his side. Alexander had fully expected to wake alone with no idea of when he would next see his best friend. So though he had not yet opened his eyes, Alexander squeezed them shut tight and rolled towards Hephaestion, winding himself around the other man.
"He did not take you," Alexander moaned against Hephaestion's shoulder, the words half-choked around tears. "I did not think you would still be here."
Hephaestion's arms hugged him tightly, warm breath panted against the side of his head. "I did not expect to be here either."
Alexander silently offered up thanks to whatever forces had compelled Amyntor to allow Hephaestion to remain. At the moment he did not care about the reasons, all that mattered was that he had not lost Hephaestion.
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Hephaestion himself was still at a loss as to why his father had relented and allowed him to remain with Alexander. When he had made his protests, he had fully expected his father to simply disregard them and force him to leave. The possibility still remained that they were bound for Athens so Hephaestion fully intended to make the most of what time he and Alexander had together.
For a long time neither of them spoke, they simply laid together in the bed they had created for themselves on the floor of the tent. It was better to simply take joy in the time that they had because Hephaestion knew that eventually his father would insist that they return to Athens if for no other reason than Amyntor's business interests lay in that particular Greek city.
"Did you want to go to Mieza to recover?" Alexander asked him quietly, still not looking up from his chest. "Or we could also go to Aegae."
Hephaestion's fingers played with the bristly ends of Alexander's shorn hair. "I want to be wherever you are."
"As do I," Alexander murmured, at last raising his head. "But where would you rather be?"
"Mieza will be quieter," he hedged, uneasy about making such a decision.
"It is also far from my mother," Alexander snarled with a venom that Hephaestion had never before thought to hear from Alexander in regards to Olympias. "She will not be able to hurt you if we go to Mieza."
"Nor will she be able to harm you."
Alexander's brows furrowed, a look of utter bafflement crossing his features. "It does not matter what she does to me. She will not attempt to harm me physically. She may try to drive me mad, but she will not succeed."
It frightened Hephaestion to see what Olympias had done to his beloved. Never before had he seen Alexander consumed with such anger. It worried him to think about what would happen when mother and son crossed paths once again. Knowing Alexander as he did, it would not be a chance encounter. Alexander would seek out the mad queen and confront her. And that, more than facing her himself, terrified Hephaestion.
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There was movement near Alexander's tent and Cleitus found that he could not be shocked by the sight that greeted him when Alexander and Hephaestion stepped out. What surprised him was that it had taken so long for Alexander to cut his hair. From the moment they had learned of Hephaestion's abduction Cleitus had been waiting for Alexander's hair to be shorn in true Homeric fashion. The cutting of his hair gave Alexander a look of peace about him that had not been present the night before.
"I am not entirely certain that this is wise," Amyntor said quietly, coming to stand next to him. "Failure will only make her bold."
"Then why are you not taking him back to Athens? He will be safe enough there."
Amyntor tracked the movement of the two youths with his eyes, sighing deeply. "Because, if I had forced him to come with me now, I do not think he would have still been alive when we reached Athens. The look in his eyes when I went to fetch him earlier.... It frightened me. He has been close enough to death now that he no longer fears it. I would not be surprised if he would think it a release now."
Cleitus watched the boys as well, the way they hung close to each other even in the midst of their friends. The pair almost seemed to move in tandem, never quite touching even as they moved over and around each other while they ate with Ptolemy, Leonnatus and the others.
"I am no fool. The only reason he has not ended things already is because of the prince," Amyntor continued, turning away from the group of youths passing about food and drink. "I cannot risk what Hephaestion will do if I try to take him from Alexander's side right now."
The Athenian general strode away then, leaving Cleitus standing alone while slaves and soldiers alike bustled about dismantling the camp. Half a day's ride would take them to Pella and what would happen there Cleitus could not even begin to guess.