Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!
CHAPTER 2:
"Bobby, move away from the door!" She sternly told him, unsure of what the hell happened.
Please, Bobby. Please just move away from the door. Please let me in. God, I'm begging you. She silently pleaded and desperately prayed; afraid of what she was going to find on the other side.
She didn't think, and certainly couldn't comprehend, Bobby ever shooting himself, but something in the back of her mind told her otherwise; especially after all he'd been through the past two weeks. She never was informed of the whole story, only bits and pieces here and there. In all honesty, the only person that could tell her the true form of torture that Bobby endured at Tates was himself. She knew, of course, that he wouldn't confide in her. It was just the type of person Bobby was. Keep all the stress inside and never talk to anyone about it.
Bobby didn't know how he managed or why but he willingly obeyed and ever so slowly, he eased himself, inch by inch, away from the door. He felt light headed and the movement was torturous as he groaned and winced in pain, but he managed to move somewhat out of the way. He was still blocking the door, but Alex was able to open it about a foot; enough so that her tiny frame could squeeze through.
He knew he shouldn't let her in. He didn't want her to see him like this. Bobby had hit rock bottom and he didn't want anyone, especially Alex, to fall with him. Too late. He didn't plan on her being here, but there was no way he could deny her access now. It was definitely too late. He could never say no to her…not when she was desperately pleading with him on the other side of the door; mere inches away. He wasn't quite sure because he briefly blackout, but he figured she had heard the gun shot.
As she stepped through his doorway, she immediately smelled death. Blood and death lingering in the air. She recognized right away how dark it was in his apartment and quickly reached for the lights that were next to the door and flipped them on. Once on, her eyes immediately fell to her partner. Alex unconsciously gasped at the sight of him, loud enough for him to hear.
Oh god, Bobby, what did you do? What the hell happened? How? Why?
Her partner, as large of a man as he was, was sitting there hunched over, still partially against the door, legs spread out in front of him, hands by his sides, eyes closed, face red from what she assumed was crying, cell phone on the ground, gun still gently laying partially in his hand and partially on the floor, and blood oozing out of his chest area. The normally hefty man was anything but. At this moment in time, he looked like a frail child. A wounded, broken-down child. One that had given up on everything in life.
Bobby had shot himself, but unintentionally. Before he fired his gun, he pulled his badge up, just above his lap in anger and fired once at it. The meaning was too great to even describe. How ironic that it would come back to get him. When he fired his weapon at his shield, he never stopped to think of the ricochet that would follow. The bullet bounced off his badge and back into him; going through his lower chest.
The bullet was logged somewhere around his left lung and he knew it. He could feel it. He just didn't care. He was too stunned momentarily to render any statement, that is, until he heard, Eames. He knew she wouldn't understand. Truthfully, he didn't want her to understand. Not this. Not his life. She didn't need that and he silently wished she would just leave him. Let him die in peace. He didn't mean to shoot himself but now that he sat there feeling woozy and breathless, he wished he were dead.
Just die already.
"Jesus, Bobby." She mumbled as she knelt down beside him. "What the fuck did you do?" She asked as she fought back the tears that she knew would soon fall.
Her voice was barely audible and scratchy. She prepared herself for this before she entered the room, but it didn't work. Nothing can prepare you for this job. Nothing prepares you no matter how much training you have under your belt. This was her partner sitting here.
Bobby lethargically opened his eyes and shifted his glaze to look at her. "Just go." He managed, closing his eyes once more.
Though she would never believe him, it hurt him deeply to say that to her, in front of her face. He knew she wouldn't leave him and honestly, he didn't know why he said it, but he had to try. A failed, desperate, last minute attempt. And that's when Alex saw it; that same look he had the last time he walked out of One Police Plaza. So broken, so lost. He was lost and truthfully had lost it. She feared for him.
Alex felt anger boil up inside her but this wasn't the time nor the place to be angry at him. Somewhere deep inside, she actually felt bad for the man. She knew he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him about anything, but she did. She felt empathy for this man even if he would never understand why. She only wished that she could protect him; hold him in a protective cocoon and never let go of him, but she knew she couldn't. He wouldn't let her. He won't let anyone get close. Always at arms reach.
"I'm not going to leave you, Bobby and you know that." She hissed as she grabbed the gun from his hand and gently placed it on the counter next to her. He didn't resist but she didn't expect him to. If it were anyone else, he would have, but not Alex.
Ever so quickly she pulled out her cell phone and called for an ambulance. Mumbling some other information; her badge number and location, she quickly stood up to look around for a towel to help stop the bleeding. She knew her petite hands would be little help.
When she returned, Bobby's eyes were still closed but he looked limper then before; his head dipped forward. A soft sob slipped out of her mouth and she ran back to him.
"Bobby!" He slowly opened his eyes and tilted his head so that it now sagged to one side. "I need you to stay with me. Do you hear me, Goren?" She said and quickly opened up his shirt. It seemed to take eternity until the last button was undone and she swiftly pushed the shirt out of the way. Alex applied pressure to his wound and he instantly groaned in pain. Her insides felt as if they had been ripped out from her being. Her heart was now in her hand…holding it out for him to take. She was getting that sharp feeling in the pit of her stomach. She felt sick. Fear.
It didn't take long for the blood to seep partially through the towel. The blood was warm and it scared her how easily it oozed through her tiny fingers.
So much blood. Crimson red. God, so much. Make it stop! She screamed within her being.
Time seemed at a standstill for, Alex. The surrounded noises seemed to fade away in the background as if someone had turned the volume down in the world. Life seemed to be lagging and she could've sworn she called an ambulance an hour ago. It felt wrong, so unsound as she continued to stare at her dying partner.
Oh god!
Fear rose in her. This wasn't a dream. This wasn't just another victim. This wasn't just anyone's blood that started to mask her hands, it was Bobby's blood.
Bobby hissed louder as she applied more pressure to his wound; both hands covering it. He tilted his head back up and tried to speak but a deep cough quickly overcame him. Alex instinctively tilted her head to look at him and it was then, when he tried to speak, that she had noticed the blood slowly seeping out of the corners of his mouth. That's when she knew, knew that the bullet had penetrated a lung. When he got his coughing under control momentarily, he spoke.
"Please, Eames, j—just leave me to…to die." He paused, licking his lips to moisten them. He tasted the metallic liquid that he knew to be blood. His tongue, which licked the copper fluid in his mouth, was rather comforting to Bobby. "You're n—not…you…you weren't supposed to be here. Don't stay to watch this…I—" He couldn't finish his statement as his eyes became too heavy for him to keep open. It became too much of an effort to speak. Bobby slowly started to slide to the floor, sagging back onto his side as he fell.
"Bobby! Come on, you gotta stay with me. Do you hear me, Goren? I'm not letting you fucking leave me!" She declared as she briefly let go of the towel and grabbed him just before he slid completely to the ground. She forcefully yanked him back into sitting position with all of her might. Bobby was a big man but in that time, Alex towered high above him.
I can't let you leave me. I don't know what I'd do without you.
"Eames, it's so—so beautiful." He choked out a few moments later. He was clearly out of it now. Everything was becoming hazy but it felt right. Oddly enough, if felt safe. He was willingly ready to end this life and see what the afterlife had in store for him, if anything.
A small, content smile appeared on his face at the thought, but it was quickly wiped off as an unsteady, yet hard slap came across his left cheek. He painfully opened his eyes, startled, to stare at a teary eyed, Alex. He wasn't sure why she had slapped him but it didn't matter. He could feel himself slipping away as he felt her hands apply pressure over his wound once more. She had lost it. She was loosing him and in the process, loosing herself.
Just a few more minutes. Any moment now.
"Don't cry, Eam—" He tried to offer but his eyes slipped closed again.
"Bobby, keep your eyes open! Do you hear me, Bobby?" She ejaculated, physically shaking. "Bobby, why?" She managed to say. It wasn't really a question, more of a statement. She couldn't harbor the thought of him ever doing this to himself. Not her partner. Not Goren.
Alex realized something just then. She thought of him as hers. Not just in the partner sense of the word, but hers always and forever. Hers and only hers. She couldn't fathom the possibility of losing him as not just a partner but as her best friend.
"Eames..." He managed to say before more blood trickled from his mouth, down his lower lip, onto his chin and then down onto his shirt. Alex reached a hand up and wiped the blood away with her thumb, but it did no good. There was no point in her action other than to feel him. She was about to loose it. If Bobby died here, a part of her would die along with him. He was her everything.
"Bobby, don't talk. Just stay with me, ok?" Bobby weakly nodded but then began to speak anyways.
"Eames, I feel n—nothing now. I—I'm not in pain anymore." He said as he briefly coughed. He was numb. He looked oddly content as if he could smile once again and she saw that in his face as she surveyed him.
Everything was becoming a haze. Her face was a blur to him. Eyelids heavy.
She nodded knowing what that meant, but she couldn't lose him. "Dammit, where are those fucking paramedics?!"
"It doesn't matter anymore…" He said as his briefly took one last look at her. He took in her face, her features, her eyes and then his eyes closed.
"Bobby?" Nothing. "Bobby?" A small groan was the only sound she heard but it was a groan of contentment. Not pain.
The look in Bobby's eyes before he closed them made Alex shiver. He had that look, the look where he knew he was going to die. She knew that he thought it would be the last time he would ever see her, so there was something else that shimmered in his eyes in that very moment. Regret possibly? She wasn't sure of anything but if he died, those eyes would haunt her until the day she died.
A small smile crept up on his face and then it was gone. Turned into a frown. Before he could do or say anymore, he had lost consciousness. His neck tilted down suddenly and his body slouched heavily.
"Bobby? God dammit, Bobby!" She screamed as he continued to droop to the floor.
The only thing Alex could do is help him. She guided him to the ground as best as possible and continued to apply pressure to his wound.
"Bobby?" She pleaded with him once more. He was utterly still, almost deathlike, with no groans of pain, so she swiftly reached up and checked his pulse and found a faint one.
The last thing Bobby saw when he looked into her face frightened him. He wanted to reach for her and touch her one last time. He never got to say goodbye, he never got to tell her that he'd miss her and most importantly, he never got to tell her how much he loved her. He felt remorse caused by his own actions. He didn't mean to do this to her. He was doing it to help, not hinder. It was too late though, he was paralyzed. He tried to come out of the darkness but he couldn't.
Suddenly, there was sound. Alex felt like she had been slapped back into reality. She perked her head up and heard the sirens coming down the street. She prayed for, Bobby. She realized he didn't want to live, or at least that's how she perceived it, but she needed him.
"Bobby, do you hear that? They're coming." She informed him, but she knew that he didn't hear her. He couldn't hear her.
She could still feel his faint heart beat beneath her red, slippery hands and that gave her at least some hope.
At least he's not in any pain. God, this is more than I can fuckin' take. She mused as the realization of what was happening was fully starting to take effect. It all felt like a nightmare. Did he really do this to himself? She wept as she tried to hold it together.
You better not die on me, Bobby. You better not… She mentally kept repeating over and over as she silently prayed. Alex prayed that god was listening to her.
She only hoped her prayers would be answered.
A/N: My little disclaimer: I know nothing about any medical 'stuff.' I hated my anatomy and physiology class, so don't expect me to know much in that department.
Secondly, I personally believe that the bullet would go through a badge but this is my story…so lets just pretend that it ricochet off of it instead. Cool?
So, what did you think? I must say, thank you to all that reviewed the first chapter. I was very surprised.
Thirdly, like I said before, I realize I am stretching some things here but isn't that the point of fanfiction? I mean, if you want it to be reality, then go watch the episodes. LOL I write fanfiction to let my mind travel and sometimes I don't have control over where it goes.
-Snyder-
NOTE: Yes, this used to have a song in this chapter. It was "Breathe Into Me" by Red, but I decided to take it out. You can always go and look the song up though. Thanks!