Coming Around
Chapter 2
"Oh God, what am I doing?"
JJ looked down at herself in her wedding dress.
Nothing had ever felt so wrong.
"Jennifer, honey, everyone is waiting." Her mother stuck her head through the door.
"Yeah, I know," JJ answered softly.
Get yourself together, JJ! This is the right thing to do, she reminded herself sternly.
"Sweetheart," her mother continued, slipping inside and closing the door behind her. "Are you sure you want this?"
JJ didn't know how to answer truthfully. They looked at each other for a few moments, and her mother seemed to understand what had been going on in her mind in the past few minutes.
"Have you ever thought about why you kept Will waiting for so long? Why you still keep him waiting out there?"
"Mom-" JJ began.
"Jenny, I'm not trying to talk you out of this wedding, if that's what you're thinking. All I'm saying is that it's obvious you're not as happy as you would like everyone to believe," the older Jareau interrupted her.
"Will is a good guy," JJ threw in, not sure who she was trying to convince with it.
"I know he is. I like him, and under normal circumstances I'd cheer loudly that my daughter seems to have found such a wonderful man for herself. But the circumstances aren't normal, am I right?"
JJ looked away. Of course her mother was right.
"I have to think about Henry. He deserves a family," she replied nevertheless.
"Yes, he does. But he needs a happy and content mother more than a fake family."
JJ lowered her head.
"What am I supposed to do? Not marrying Will won't make me any happier if I've read everything wrong and the man that I really want isn't available."
.~.~.
In the end, she had to call off the wedding, because her doubts were too big to be ignored. Even if she could never have the one man she longed for with all her heart, it just didn't make sense to stay with someone simply because it was convenient.
Will was devastated at first, but in the end, even he admitted that the most logical thing was not always the right thing to do.
"Somehow, I guess I've always known that your heart belongs to someone else. I truly hope he'll make you as happy as you deserve."
.~.~.
JJ tossed and turned for two weeks, ignoring everyone and everything that wasn't work related.
Especially him, the reason for her current dilemma.
When David Rossi had joined the team a few years back, she'd been intrigued from the beginning. Well, she had to admit that she had been intrigued ever since her senior year in college, so the fact that he had stepped on her toes and pissed her off tremendously on his first case with the team had quickly been forgotten.
Even though she had already been with Will at the time, she was still flattered that her hero had taken some interest in her. It felt good to be desired, especially when her long-distance relationship with Will proved to be difficult and nerve-wracking.
That was certainly one reason why she had been so receptive to Dave's flirtations. Another reason was that the more she had gotten to know him, the more she'd been able to take a look behind his mask and discovered the real Dave Rossi, the deeper he worked himself into her heart and took it with him.
Her only problem was that she could never tell if he returned her feelings or if all he ever saw in her was a colleague, a friend at best.
His flirtations never crossed a border to where they became too intimate. They remained playful, teasing, but definitely innocent, and JJ wasn't sure if he just held back because he knew she was in a relationship, or if he really wasn't interested in her like that.
Until the morning of her wedding.
She had been in that room in the back of the church, finishing the last touches on her hair and make-up, when all of her doubts she thought she'd buried deep inside her suddenly broke to the surface again.
Peaking into the church where her friends and family had already gathered, her glances fell on Rossi. She'd never seen him so lost, so pained, and she was surprised no one else seemed to notice it. He certainly tried very hard to hide his discomfort, but to her eyes, he failed miserably. His forced smiles and interactions with Hotch and the others made her heart ache for him and she began to wonder if he had ever given her any signs that he wanted to be with her.
After the conversation with her mother, she knew what she had to do.
She took every moment she could get over the next two weeks, replaying every situation she could remember with him in her mind and analyzing it, searching for any indicator she might have missed, until she came to the conclusion that if she wanted to find out for sure, she had to talk to him in person.
She had to meet him and make sure her decision to break up with Will had been the absolute right one.