EPOV
The sun had gone down and no longer graced my skin with the presence of its heat. My skin tingled at the memory. The wind was picking up and it had started to rain. I still hadn't moved from the edge of the field. I had been swimming through the mess of thoughts in my mind all day. Bella and her blood, Carlisle and how dissapointed he would be in me. I would have to run away, I would not be able to face him after I killed Bella. I wouldnt be able to face myself after I killed Bella. I didnt want to kill her. I felt the desire to talk to her, get to know her and figure out what she was thinking but I was afraid that the urge to end her life was stronger than anything else.
The minute I walked into my new class, the minute I sat in the empty seat beside her. I wanted to kill her. I hated her! She was tempting me to ruin centuries of good behavior. I tried to stay but the scent of her blood chased me from the room. I went outside and let the cold air clear my head. She had already ruined my life and Id only known of her existence for ten minutes. I ended up running home. Running from a pathetic Human girl.
When the sun rose on Saturday morning I decided I'd spend the day in the woods. Far from the eyes of the public. I needed some time alone, away from the thoughts of the humans. I needed to think things over. I had important decisions to make and Bella's very existence relied on what I decided.
I was lying in the field I had come across, enjoying the heat of the sun on my cold skin, listening to the wind and the sounds of the trees. When I was hit with a force so hard my body curled with the agony it brought. Bella's scent. The monster inside me took over, I leapt up and took off running in her direction. NO! I fought my way through and forced my legs to stop. I was so close. I could hear them. They were talking, about me, how ironic. Little did they know that I could kill them all in a matter of seconds. Bella remained silent. Lost in her thoughts no doubt. What I wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking.
Along with the hopeless need for her blood I was desperate to hear her thoughts. No one in my family could explain why she was the only one I couldn't hear. Alice could see her in her visions, yet I couldn't hear her It was like I was broken. She was breaking me. A new wave of hatred flashed through my mind, but this hatred was for me. I hated myself. I hated myself for giving in so easily, for not being able to control myself. For blaming her for my inabilities. She's only human. I felt pity for her. For what I knew I was eventually going to do to her.
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