A Place to Rest My Head
Summary: Varric has never told Hawke his feelings and to see her being matched with noblemen who don't fit her at all is hard. One drunken night will change everything but will it be for better or worse? F!HawkexVarric
Rating: M+
Warnings: Sexual Situations, Violence, Cursing.
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age II nor any of the characters.
A/N: So this chapter is something I decided to add in when I decided to put Kora in this story. I had started a story for the first Dragon Age game but I never got it done so instead, I added her in here. Kora was my character in the first Dragon Age story and when I found out she couldn't marry Alistair in the end I decided to add in my own twist to it. So this is a chapter based solely on Kora and her past with Alistair and how she came to go look for Zevran.
Thank you for reading my story!
My swords feels too heavy for my small body but I have to keep going. I have to destroy the Arch Demon or all will be lost. I have to find my paradise tonight. I rush the crippled dragon-looking beast with my double swords feeling the weight of this on my shoulders. I knew that this was my choice and as I got closer I shoved Alistair back so that he didn't accidentally do what was to be my job. He called my name but I had to keep going or I would pass out. My body was running on nothing but adrenaline.
My skin was sweaty and covered in a mixture of dust, mud and blood from all sorts of creatures. I felt the muscles in my legs and arms crying out for a break. Just a little further, I thought eagerly, I'm almost done. Almost done. I kept saying it in my brain like a prayer as I finally get close enough to propel myself onto the beast's long neck. It takes all of my strength to get myself airborne and when I land my arms are aching so badly I don't think I can finish the job.
With one last ditch effort I cling to the monster and destroy it with a downward thrust of my double swords. I can hear myself scream but it is a distant echo that makes my head swim as my blades pierce through the scales then the skull and finally enter the brain. I can barely feel the electricity rush through my body as the taint flies through my body. Oh how long had I waited for this moment? It felt like the night would never end.
My head pounded and I felt everything grow blurry and for a second I opened my eyes to see Alistair and Zevran and Wynn rushing forward as I fell off of the dying dragon. I hit the ground hard but I didn't feel a thing. I heard my name being called but it was like I was underwater and it sounded distorted even when I felt myself being cradled by two very strong, familiar arms. I looked up and saw Alistair's worried face; his lips were moving but I could see the darkness at the edges of my vision as I slipped away.
I smiled and leaned up to kiss him fully on the lips. I needed one last piece of him before I let my soul go. He pressed into me like he wasn't supposed to and I clung to his neck as if he were the one dying. His tongue danced a dance it had gotten so accustomed to with mine. We knew this dance well and we danced it once last exhausting time before I slipped into unconsciousness hearing the muffled noises but seeing nothing.
My dreams were muddled and ugly with dark shadows and the sounds of the dying Demon. I thought this was my Hell but as I kept dreaming I suddenly felt something be jerked from my body. It felt like the darkness was lifted from my eyes and I took a huge gasp of air as if I hadn't breathed in weeks. My eyes snapped open and I flung myself up to see castle walls and a giant four poster bed with drapes hanging from it. This couldn't be my paradise.
I jerked my head around when I heard the door open. "You're awake," the elf said as he walked into the room with a tray full of food. "Morrigan said you would wake up today. I did not believe her. Your breathing was erratic for a long time." He sets the food down on the table next to the bed and sits on a chair staring at me with those unnerving brown eyes.
I stare around me at the room then back to his face feeling afraid and confused. Why wasn't I dead? Was Zevran my paradise? No it couldn't be. "Why am I not dead, Zevran?" I ask in a voice that doesn't sound like my own.
He doesn't act as shocked as I thought he would. He knew. He knew I was supposed to die from killing the Demon. "Because, you deserve a second chance," he states leaning back in his chair. He wasn't wearing his usual Antivan armor. No, instead, he was wearing a set of silken garments that covered his lithe frame beautifully. It was a beautiful green and gold mixture that made my look at him as an Angel rather than an elf. His blond hair was clean and brushed back into a wrap that kept it out of his angular face. His cheekbones were so high that they cast shadows on his cheeks from the lamp light of the room. It was night; how long had I been asleep?
"What are you talking about?" I ask softly fearing the answer even as I asked the question. I didn't want to know what he meant.
"I knew you wouldn't ask Alistair to become intimate with Morrigan," he states making he stare at him confused until it clicked. "Yes, I was listening in on the conversation between you and the witch. I knew you wouldn't want to ask Alistair, the man you loved, to sleep with her so I asked for you."
The information took a while for it to soak in and when it did I felt fire boil in my blood. I felt my vision go red; I started to tremble from the tips of my fingers down to my toes. Why would he do that without my permission? How could he make that decision? "How could you?" I whisper softly making him lean in. "How could you?"
He jerks back at my scream staring at me with confusion. "What do you mean?"
I feel the betrayal soak deep within my heart and then the emotions that I had wanted to escape. The thought of Alistair never spending another night with me; the awkwardness that would forever dictate our lives; the vision of seeing him married off to some noble woman; and the vision of him having kids with her. It ached in my chest and made tears spring into my eyes. I didn't want to see him happy with some other woman; some other human woman. I wanted him to be happy with me.
"You idiot!" I cry softly into my hands feeling the anger well inside of my chest but die in anguish. "I wanted to die!" His face shifts from confusion to shock and he reaches out to touch my shoulder. "Don't touch me!" I snap jerking away from his touch. "Don't touch me, Zevran! What right did you have to decide something like that for me?"
"Kora," he whispers soothingly pulling me into his lap to stroke my surely messed up white hair. I struggle with him for a few seconds but I am so tired that I just slouch against him and cry into his shoulder. "You don't need to die for Alistair, Kora. I know you are angry now but someday you will thank me." I don't believe him but I cling to him anyways feeling the warmth and sympathy of someone was intoxicating me. I hadn't been held like this in a very long time. To feel someone's hand stroking my hair made me feel better, slightly, even if it wasn't the man that I had loved and lost. "Come to Antiva with me," he says suddenly making me jerk up to look at him.
"What?" I whisper hoarsely.
"You need to get away from this city of fools and go somewhere new," he whispers cradling my face in his strong, lithe hands. I shifted slightly and found myself straddling the man's legs with my own staring down at his beautiful face. He was such a lovely person even though behind that face was a pervert and a compassionate man. How he could mix both together I will never know but I was suddenly mesmerized by that look in those beautiful eyes. "I'm going to be completely honest, Kora. I love you. I haven't felt this way about any other person except for one and she died by my hand. I know you love Alistair but if you come with me and give me the chance I can give you a second chance at life. Come with me, give me a chance."
His words touched my heart and I felt for a second that I might be able to change my life and escape this terrible fate. I felt his hands pull me down until my lips brushed his. I jerked back but he had his arms down on my waist in a second to hold me there. "Zevran…no…I-" I try to protest but he shushes me softly.
"Just once," he whispers tenderly and even though I am pulling away he leans until I can't go any further. "Just once…" I stare into his eyes and relent. I let his lips caress mine in a way I had only ever let Alistair do. His kiss was so much different than Alistair's but not in a bad way. I felt the passion and the desperation so clearly through those brief touches. I suddenly needed more contact so I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him flush against my body. His arms curled around me tightly until there wasn't any space between the two of us and I felt his tongue brush against my lips.
I opened up for him. I let him explore my mouth and I delved into his to taste the spice that made him who he was. His kiss was so much more artful than Alistair's and I found myself getting lost in the contact. It had been so long since I had been touched and I was desperate for any kind of comfort. We pulled away panting after a few moments when neither of us could stand it. I pressed my forehead into his and closed my eyes for a few moments to compose myself. I had to admit that Zevran had a certain appeal to him. He was tall, lithe, quick witted and quite attractive. Plus, he was an elf and so was I. I felt the urge to go with him pull at my soul; I needed to get away from here but…I couldn't leave Alistair as he was. It wouldn't be right.
"Zevran…I-" he shushed me with another mind-blowing kiss that made the spark of lust light inside of my chest cavity.
"I know," he whispers when he pulls away and stands up to set me to the bed again. "I know that you have to stay here, Kora. I know, but…" He leans down and kisses me slowly, softly as if savoring my flavor. "My offer still stands no matter where I am." He leaves the room and leaves me with a heavy heart and confusion that I think about long after he is gone from the shores of Ferelden about what he offered to me.
Everyday, after I see him off on that boat I think about what he offered to me. I don't go though. I don't go see him even though the offer still stands. I never go until that one thing that breaks me down. To see Alistair married to a very prominent noble woman from the Cousland family. She is beautiful and she knows how to wield a blade so I accept her for who she is but I think she knows that Alistair and I had a past. I think she sees the way he still glances at me when he thinks I'm not looking.
I still feel the heated glances he sends me in the hallways, in the corridors, in the dining hall, and even in court. He thinks I do not see those beautiful eyes glance my way but I do. I feel them deep within my skin and then I think about Zevran's offer. Lady Cousland looked beautiful when she walked up to Alistair in their wedding.
The whole wedding, I think, Why am I here? Torturing myself with this image that will stay with me forever? I don't have a question but when they start talking about children I relent and start planning to go to find Zevran. I need him. I need that second chance and I get it.
His letters never stopped once he left. He sent letters to me every week and every time he's in a different place. Finally, the letter comes when he states that he will be in Antiva for a long period of time on business. I know that I have to go there. I need to find a way to get there without letting Alistair hold me back and I know he will.
It comes in the form of a Champion. The one from Kirkwall with the silver eyes that Alistair had told me about. She takes me away from this place even if Alistair tries to keep his hold on me. No, this is what I have to do.
~~~
Kirkwall is a beautiful city, so much more beautiful than Denerim. I hated that city for so long that having to stay there only hurt my heart. I had worked to get the alienage set free but all I ever got were cries from close minded people who wanted humans and elves kept separate. How old fashioned. Their Hero was an elf from that very alienage and yet they still held back the hope that we so desperately needed.
I loved the streets of Kirkwall and even more I love the outside of the city where the mountains kiss the walls. It was such a beautiful area and I couldn't help but be thankful to have come here. Ferelden was dry and dirty with constant cold that was almost nonexistent in Kirkwall. It was almost always warm even in the winter time and there was so much greenery around that it made my eyes hurt sometimes.
Zevran loved this area too. He loved it so much that we decided to buy a house. I couldn't believe it when he asked! I thought it was kind of funny but at the same time sweet. He wanted to get an estate in Hightown but I knew what he really wanted. "No," I said smiling. "I want a house in Lowtown."
"What?" he had asked shocked but slightly amused. "Why would you want a house in Lowtown? You have plenty of money for an estate in Hightown!"
I smirk slightly and tilt my head. "I know you, Zev. You want to be where the business is and an assassin has no business in Hightown. Let's get a nice little house in Lowtown and we can fix it up," I say and end the discussion.
A week later we bought a nice little place on the upper level of Lowtown. It was a dirty little hole in the wall but with a little bit of tender, love and care we fixed her up nice and pretty. We bought a new bed for the bedroom, which was as big as it got but it was nice and cozy. It had a kitchen set and a living room and bathroom. It was nice and small, which was what I wanted. I was tired of huge, endless houses after living in the castle for so long.
I even had a writing desk for my journal, which I had started keeping after I saw Hawke's journal. It was a good way to release my pent up emotions. And a good way for Zevran to stalk me, obviously. Sometimes I find my pages turned without me doing it but I don't mind. We pretty much share everything now. We share a bed, a kitchen, a house and even adventures when Hawke needs us. I usually just do side jobs that help keep the money coming and I want to keep a lot of the load off of Hawke's shoulders. She worries too much about people and especially with her being a Berserker. I remember what it was like traveling with Oghren. He was a snappy little bastard sometimes.
Sometimes, I put sexy little messages in the journal for Zevran to read. Little things like "man Zevran's ass looked good in those tight leather breeches today" or "Maker, I thought about something terrible while watching Zevran cook today" just to catch his attention. It made things interesting in our life. I still had yet to have sex with Zevran. I don't know what I'm so afraid of but…I just…I'm afraid that it won't be the same once we've had sex. It wasn't when Alistair and I had sex for the first time. It was awkward afterwards until about the sixth or seventh time we had done things then he finally got used to it.
Sure, we've kissed every now and again but it wasn't like after I woke up that one day after I had slew the Demon. He held back until I was the one to initiate everything. I didn't mind but at the same time sometimes I just wanted him to dominate me. Just for him to do what he did when the Demon was dead. Hold me there and kiss me until I couldn't see straight; until all of the hesitation was gone and I knew what I wanted.
~~~
Setting down my pencil, I stared at the page wondering if Zevran would read this all the way through. I didn't have time though to think about it when there was a knock on the door. That must be Anders. I had asked him to come so that he could do me a huge favor. I opened the door to the front of the house and saw the tall, very dashing young mage standing there in his lovely feathered outfit. He smiled charmingly at me and I smiled back. Anders had become a kind of comfort for me; he reminded me a lot of Wynn and I missed her deeply ever since the spirit inside of her body had departed back to the Fade.
"Hello Anders, Justice," I say holding open the door to allow the twin man into the room. I was pretty sure I was the only person Justice ever truly came out around and I wasn't sure if it was because he knew that I had dealt with Wynn or just because he liked me for some reason.
"Good evening, Kora," he says as he enters the house looking around. "This place just gets cleaner and cleaner with every day I come by." His voice was full of amusement and awe at the fact that I could turn a dirty little house into a place worth living. I was pretty sure even Hawke had thought about trading in her estate for a nice cozy little Lowtown abode.
"Thank you, Anders!" I smile brightly closing the door behind him and gesturing towards the small space that served as a kitchen and a dining area. We sat down across the table from each other and he cleared his throat when I had finally settled a cup of tea in front of him. I had been around Leliana way too long; she never went anywhere without tea and I had come to find myself enthralled with Kirkwall's tea as of late. It was very good and made by the elves in the Alienage, though their area for the elves was way better than the one back in Denerim. "Thank you for coming, Anders. I really appreciate you doing this for me," I whisper knowing that he was keeping silent for a reason.
He nods solemnly. "So you think that when you fought the Arch Demon…" he paused and I nodded my head slowly. "Have you had any pain? Any swelling or bloating?"
"No," I say slowly. "Just…" I stop feeling silly even though I knew that there was no way I could ever go through with what I wanted in the first place. "I shouldn't even think about it to begin with. I don't know what would happen if…I just want to make sure that there is no way that I could ever get pregnant."
"You two haven't tried?" he asks honestly and I don't mind. He knew that Zevran and I had an interesting relationship that was very rocky. I was nervous that I wasn't going to be any good compared to the many partners that he had had in his life. Of course, if I ever said that to him Zevran would probably smack me across my ass. He'd laugh at me.
I shake my head. "No, I just want to make sure there is no way that I can have children before I just jump into it. Morrigan told me that since the taint had to circle around in my body for a few hours that there was probably some damage," I admit running a hand through my white hair. I needed to cut my hair soon or it would get in my eyes while I was fighting.
"Well, we'll only know once I'm done," he states standing up to gesture towards the bedroom. I stood up and followed him into the room where I was laid down on the mattress with Anders standing over me.
"What will you do if it is true that you cannot have children?" I hear Justice ask through the lips of Anders. I don't know how I knew when Anders turned into Justice but there was something in the way he spoke and the inflection of his voice that gave him away. Hawke had told me that when in the Fade that his voice deepened but that had never happened with Anders around me.
I look up at the man seeing the lines that ran down from his eyes to his neck and beyond his clothing. His eyes were a beautiful crystalline blue that glowed brightly even in the sunlight. He seemed ethereal in the low light of my bedroom; I had always seen Justice in a kind of strange mindset because of being around Wynn. Maybe that's why he liked being around me; I didn't see him as an evil thing to fear but something to respect and enjoy being around.
I shrug. "I will bed the elf probably," I say but it means more to me than that and I know that he can see it on my face.
"Just bed him?" he chuckles reading my mind. "Nothing is that simple with you, Korashk. You love him."
I flushed lightly and smacked the creature on the arm. "I hate you, Justice," I mutter playfully and watch the smirk cross his lips before he went back to Anders.
"I hate it when the two of you do that," he comments before placing his hands to hover over my lower abdomen. "You may feel a bit of pressure." I nod my head and his hands start to glow as he begins searching my body for the taint that had always been there. Alistair, at one point, had told me that a Grey Warden couldn't have children but that was obviously wrong because Morrigan was out there somewhere carrying his bastard child.
I winced slightly at the odd tugging sensation that spread across what I assumed was my feminine parts inside of my body. He pushed my shirt up a bit so that he could press against my skin getting closer to where he was looking. I knew there wasn't anything to worry about but I wondered what Zev would think if he walked in on this. He would understand though he had no clue I was having this check up with my resident doctor. I could see the dotting of sweat on the man's forehead as he strained to search for what I had asked him to look for.
"Ah!" I yelped when I felt something odd being unsettled to the right side of my body. It felt like he was grasping something inside of my body.
"There it is," he mutters then moves to the other side and I feel the same thing. Finally, he pulls away and I sit up to look at him. He shakes his head. "The taint got to your ovaries. You don't have any eggs left, Kora."
I feel a huge weight come off of my chest and even though I knew I should be sad, I wasn't. I felt so much better knowing that there would never be a chance of me having half-tainted children with Zevran. I didn't want to take the risk that there would be something wrong with the child or that there would be something wrong with me if I went into labor. "Thank you, Anders, I appreciate this," I whisper as he sits down next to me on the bed. He reaches out and takes my hand.
"Do you regret being a Grey Warden?" he asks as I hold onto him. There was another thing that brought us closer together; we had both chosen the same road though he had run away from his duty. I had stayed and fought like I was supposed to. At first, I thought very little of Anders but I knew it was harder for mage Wardens then it was for a warrior like me or Alistair. After a while, I got over it and accepted the man for who he was and we became very close. He was quite impressed by my reserve to stay and change the kingdom I loved but I was impressed by his determination to help mages. We now had a mutual respect for one another.
"No, I would have died in the end anyways," I whisper bending my knees and wrapping my arms around them tightly. He moved closer to wrap an arm around my shoulders pulling me into a friendly hug. "I started off as an Elf in the Alienage of Denerim. I was the lowest of the low and when I was to be married I was kidnapped with a bunch of the other girls. We would have been raped by the nobleman if my cousin hadn't come rushing in to help out. I took out the entire castle of humans to get to my friends. I was to be executed when Duncan passed through our city. He heard of my predicament and called for his Rights of Conscription to save my life." I pause thinking about my past and smiling. "My life has been one near death experience after another. Fate always opens a door for me in the end and I have survived on borrowed time."
"What happened to your husband?" he whispers softly but I can tell he already knows the answer.
"He died trying to save me," I answer softly touching the ring that was still wrapped around my finger. "I kept it to remind me of where I came from and what I had gone through to get where I am today. I didn't love him; he was chosen for me by a match maker but I still respected him for trying to save me."
Anders is silent for a long time before he ruffles my hair gently leaning his cheek against the top of my head. He was so much like the brother I never had that I smiled lightly. Our problems brought us closer together. I was glad Zevran wasn't an overly jealous man or he would have assassinated Anders a long time ago. "Are you upset that you can't have children?" he asks after a long while.
"No," I admit softly staring at the ground. "I didn't want kids to begin with. I'm not much of a motherly figure!" I laugh softly at the words coming out of my mouth but at the same time I knew they were true. I never wanted to be a house wife. In fact, all I ever wanted was to be in a relationship so much like what Zev and I had. If I had stayed with Alistair it would have been completely different even if we had been allowed to stay with each other. We wouldn't have been able to have children and I would have given him up eventually.
He leaves after a while of just sitting there talking and I go about getting the place cleaned up a bit. Zevran had gone on a mission with Hawke today seeing as Varric had business somewhere else today and Isabella had to tend to her ship most day. She had asked this morning if she could borrow him and of course I had accepted and sent a message to Anders so that we could get this examination over with. Now that I was sure I would never run the risk of hurting a child or Zevran's heart I was ready to admit my feelings to the man.
I would have to get dinner going too. Maker, I hated cooking. Zevran was really good at that part of this relationship. He even admitted that he would rather cook and that he would rather we cleaned together. Ah, this relationship was amazing. It was all about compromise and wasn't awkward at all. We seemed to move as one whenever we fought and when we laughed it was usually until both of us were crying. Why had I waited this long to admit my feelings to the man?
I was terrified, that's why.
I hear the door open down the corridor and perk up. "Kora?" I hear the Antivan accent call through the house making my heart jump like it always did. I loved his accent; I had since the first day I had pinned him to the ground with my blades at his throat. The way it seemed to just slip off of his tongue was something I had never been able to resist; he had such a silver tongue and such a lovely way of speaking.
"In the kitchen!" I say as he walks through the entry way pinning me down with those beautiful sand colored eyes of his. "Hey, how was the mission?"
He walks over and plants a soft kiss against my forehead in greeting as he starts to take off all of the hidden weapons on his person. He was wearing his usual leather outfit and I couldn't help but watch him leave as he went into the bedroom to put away most of his weapons. "It was such a waste of time," he comments from inside the bedroom and I'm tempted to just attack him right there. No, I had to wait for the right time. "We were sent out to find some kind of tomb or something and it turned out to be another Dragon's nest. I think that Kirkwall has more Dragons than any other place I have ever seen before!"
I walk into the room behind him and lean against the door frame as he sets all of his poisons and potions onto the bedside table. "I was going to start dinner. What do you want?" I ask softly as he looks up at me from behind that sheen of blond hair. I had always wondered why he kept it so long but he never answered me with a straight answer. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy how he looked it was just that I couldn't stand it when my hair got in my face.
"No, my love, we are going to the Hanged Man tonight for some drinking and fun with our companions tonight," he informs me as he starts to take off the top of his leather outfit. I guessed he was changing for the occasion but I felt just fine in my silken top and pants that Hawke had given me as a moving in present.
I smile slightly at the proposition knowing that I probably wouldn't be up to anything after hanging out with Hawke and her gang of fools. They were so exhausting and that woman could drink with the best of them and I was a damn good drinker! Sometimes I wondered if Oghren would come along if I ever invited him around just so that we could hear him go on his drunken rants again. Oh it was so funny when he got drunk and he was drunk most of the time!
I walk back into the kitchen to keep myself from staring at the beautiful elf and occupy myself with grabbing my dagger out of the drawer in the kitchen. I always kept one hidden away in one drawer or another just in case someone tried to attack me in my own home and I was in normal clothing. Of course, no one would be stupid enough to do that but I wasn't sure if I wanted to take the chance of assuming people were smart. I slipped that dagger into my boot and went ahead and slipped a cutting knife into my other boot for good measure though the streets had been pretty calm since we moved in not too long ago. It seemed that having two very intimidating figures wandering the streets at all hours of the night kept the ruffians at bay. It was good enough for me.
"Ready?" I hear the rogue ask as his fingers push my hair aside so he could brush his lips across my neck. I tense up then relax.
"Warn a girl," I chuckle breathlessly as he replaces his lips with his hands to massage the tension out of my shoulders. Sometimes, I hated the fact that he was a stealthy fucker. He could sneak up on me without much effort and the Antivan leather he chose to wear was soft enough to make that easy.
He chuckles softly as he nuzzles my hair gently. "Where would the fun be in that?" he whispers in that sultry accent that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I clutch at the kitchen counter feeling completely lost in the new sensations; he hadn't gone this far before and the feel of his hands kneading out my tense muscles was too much like Heaven. He whispers something into my ear in Antivan and even though I have no clue what he was saying…it was still sexy as fuck. I felt the tremors start in my legs and make their way up my body as his breath graced my sensitized ears. I hadn't had this kind of affection in what felt like ages and it had been years. Of course, I had tried going to the Pearl when I was back in Denerim but it hadn't been worth it. It just wasn't the same.
"Zevran…" I whispered softly feeling my legs start to give way. His arms wrapped around my waist and held me up so that he could run his tongue across the edge of my ear up to the point where he bit down playfully. I jumped and felt his hands clench to pull me up against his front where I felt his strong muscles press into my back.
Then, as suddenly as it started, he was gone and I was left to lean against the counter getting my bearings as he put his own daggers into his boots. "Coming?" he asks as if everything is normal between the two of us. As if there isn't this lingering sexual tension that is driving my lower regions insane with want. I just wanted to skip this whole thing and just stay in bed all night with him. I just wanted to complete everything that was unsaid between us. I couldn't though. Hawke would come after us if she thought that we might be in trouble and we always showed up to these frequent parties at the bar.
"Yeah," I say as I pull myself together and walk up beside the man smiling up at him. He had this knowing smirk on his face that I wanted to kiss right off of his face but I just held it in and walked out the door. If he was going to pretend that we weren't burning for each other then I was going to play along as well. I would get him back later anyways.
As we walked the dark streets he talked about the mission in more detail and I could hear that he was trying to keep his mind away from the fact that I was sending him heated glances. He was affected by this game as well. He couldn't hide anything from me and he knew it.
We made it to the Hanged Man within twenty minutes after we strolled around to check the streets for ruffians. We entered the bar and the sounds of a full pub made my ears ache slightly. Maker, this place was constantly packed! We pushed through the crowd until we saw the table we usually had in the back corner with the rest of our party. I felt Zev's hand plant firmly on the small of my back to urge me on through the crowd pushing people out of my way when they were too drunk to hear his polite comments. The hand progressively slipped further around until his side was pressed against mind and we were almost a single entity. It was a very unnerving closeness that made his natural scent intoxicatingly strong.
We finally pushed through the crowd to the table where the others were sitting and we took the bench reserved for us. Zevran sat unnervingly close so that our legs were constantly touching. We were served our drinks and the game of Wicked Grace really began because Zevran was damn good at it. I always kept my own but I wasn't the best at the game. Hawke and Fenris were terrible at the game and Varric and Isabella were the best players I had ever seen next to Zevran. Perhaps, this was a rogue's game? I wasn't sure but as we played it was obvious that the rest of us were no match for the rogues of the group.
I was pretty good at keeping myself from losing any money but Zevran always won a good amount by the end of the night. Halfway through the game I suddenly became aware of a wandering hand gracing my thigh. I tensed but when I saw that the hand was familiar I relaxed. We were, thankfully, against the wall so there was no way for any of the other ones to see that his hand was rubbing my leg every so slightly. It was the barest of touches but it sent my body on edge.
It was so hard to focus on the game with his hand making lazy circles across my thigh getting closer and closer to that most intimate part of my body. It was the most unnerving thing in the world to have him tease me so easily. His face didn't show anything as he continued to play cards while making my body get more and more tense by the minute. My pants were made of just the thinnest material so that I could breathe while still being comfortable. Well, that material was making his every touch stand out like he were touching my bare skin.
I folded my hand and settled back as the game played out. The best thing about Wicked Grace was that a single hand could go on forever. I leaned back against the wall only to find Zevran's shoulder taking up that space. I tensed when his left arm wrapped tightly around my body pulling me against him in a way where my body was faced toward the wall to the left of me. He kept his arm wrapped around me and pressed his cheek against my hair still perfectly keeping his stone face for the game. How did he do that?
I tried to keep my cool so I leaned my right arm against the table and bent my right leg to set it on the bench so that I could recline against my assassin comfortably. His hand pressed against my stomach. I sipped at my drink and nearly spit it out when his hand started to slip under my pants. The others were too busy bantering about how Zevran was always cheating in the game but I was quite aware of the hand slipping slowly under the pants and under clothing I was wearing. The closer that it got the tenser my body got until his hand was cupping my warmth. I had to hold back a moan as his fingers slide between the folds of my womanhood easing down until the tips of his fingers were just barely ghosting my entrance.
I held my drink in both of my hands to keep myself from showing my pleasure across my face. It was so hard not to scream out as the pressure started to build progressively in my lower body. Just when I was about to voice my frustration two of his fingers pinched my clit between them. I'm pretty sure I jumped a mile but when I checked to see if the others noticed anything they were all so drunk they were focused on each other. I was completely ignored, which was probably the best thing at that moment.
I felt the man behind me shift a little so that his lips pressed to the ear facing away from the others at the table. "When we get home," he started in that sultry accent that had my body throbbing instantly. "I'm going to take your breath away."
I tried to respond but he was already focused on his game again. He already had my breath especially when his lithe finger dipped into my entrance very slightly. Oh my Maker, I thought I was going to scream with frustration. I set my cup down and gripped at the sleeve of the arm that was torturing me. I pressed my face into the man's shoulder trying to keep myself from moaning when he pulled closer to slip his finger deep within my warmth making me inhale noisily clenching his arm as he started to pump that digit into me slowly as if he was savoring the feel.
I closed my eyes when he started to slip another finger into the mix stretching me out in a way that had me nearly crying from pleasure. I hadn't been this close to orgasm in so long that it made me bite down on the man's shoulder slightly. I know this had an effect on him because I could see the way his neck tensed. It made me smirk knowing he was just as turned on by this excitement as I was. His fingers sped up and then crooked inside of me.
If I hadn't had my teeth clenched in his shoulder I would have screamed in ecstasy. Stars floated on the backs of my eyelids as he continued to scrape across that spot inside of me until I thought I was going to die from need. Then, his fingers squeezed my clit and I lost it. I fell straight over that edge and bucked slightly against his hand. Tensing, I held tightly to his arm so that I could keep myself from screaming. He kept stroking that spot inside of me as I trembled and bite down into his arm until my orgasm died down; he pulled his hand away and out of my pants.
I pressed myself into his shoulder panting softly so that no one else would hear. He pulled me closer and whispered into my ear in his native language; yet again, I had no clue what he was saying but it was damn sexy and I understood the connotation underneath the way he spoke it. Even after my orgasm cooled down I still felt hot and my lower region still throbbed for something more. I needed sex or I was going to go insane. I needed Zevran to take me in the most intimate way possible.
"Zevran, you might want to take her home," I heard a very worried Hawke say behind my back. I turned to look at the woman whose silver eyes always seemed to pierce right through me. "She doesn't look too good. I think she might be sick."
Zevran looked down at my surely flushed face and got a falsely worried look upon his beautiful face. "I believe you may be right, Hawke. I will take her home right away," he said setting his cards down and moving to haul me up off of the bench. My legs were wobbly and I felt myself grow embarrassed that everyone was looking at me. "You feeling okay, Kora? You look a little flushed."
His words made me glare up at his snide face. "I do feel a little warm," I say softly though I'm sending dreadful thoughts towards Zevran.
"Then we will be going back home. Good night, everyone," he quickly states before wrapping his arm around my waist tighter to guide me to the door. We exit the building and once the cool air hits my face I feel much better but I still feel a little wobbly from the orgasm.
I wait until we're in a deserted alley in Lowtown to throw the man up against a wall. "You ass!" I nearly scream in his face though I'm not really angry. I'm just frustrated and he knows that as I press his thin, lithe body against the wall. "What the hell were you thinking?"
He just stares at my angry face and reaches forward to grab the back of my head; I feel myself being jerked forward into a kiss that makes my legs nearly give out. His hand fists my hair tightly and our teeth gnash together as our tongues battle for dominance. I have more strength than him but he is definitely in a better state of mind. He changes positions with me and I feel his knee press in between my legs pushing them apart so that he can grind against my throbbing warmth.
I moan as he separates to trail his lips across my cheek to get to my sensitive ears licking and nibbling at the shell then the lobe whispering nasty things to me in Antivan. I shivered as his hands slipped up under my shirt to fondle my breasts, which I never kept wrapped when I wasn't in armor. His fingers tweaked my nipples playfully making me yelp in pleasure. His head disappears as he dips down to take one of my nipples into his mouth drawing deeply. I lean my head back in utter paradise as he runs his hands down my stomach to my thin pants tugging them and my underclothing down so that he can completely remove them.
Did it ever cross my mind that we were in a very thin alleyway in the middle of Lowtown? Of course, but when he started to trail kisses down my abdomen it didn't matter. If anyone walked around those two corners I would probably throw my dagger at them. He was getting too close to that center of my body and my breath was becoming even more shallow right before his tongue dragged across my clit. I moaned deeply as he pushed one of my legs up over his shoulder and pressed his mouth against my soaked warmth.
I had never seen so many stars before and I couldn't help but compare him to Alistair. Never, and I mean never had Alistair done this to me. I had never had this sort of treatment until the Pearl and even then it wasn't anything like this. Zevran knew how to work my clit with his mouth like a damn expert and I couldn't help but feel another orgasm building up inside of my body. It was like a dam about to burst and I felt my insides starting to tense up just as a finger was pressed into me.
How did he know when I was so close? I would probably never know but when his fingers crooked against that spot I screamed his name so loud I'm sure I woke everyone in Lowtown. He rode out my orgasm moaning into my clit, which only sent me over the edge into orgasm after orgasm. After a few moments I leaned against the wall to catch my breath as he came up to kiss me passionately.
I could taste myself on his tongue and it only further aroused me to feel that warmth on his lips and on his tongue. "Fuck me," I whispered harshly as his hands went under my thighs. He pulled me up so that I could wrap my legs around his waist; his hand went to his pants as he pulled himself out. "Please, Zevran!"
He shoved right into me without any kind of warning and I threw my head back in shear pleasure that made my body quake. Zevran let out a low hiss as he pressed my hips down so that he could go as deep as possible. "Maker, Kora," he whispers against my neck. "So tight."
"Move," I command as he suckles at my neck. He holds my hips against the wall and pulls almost all the way out before slamming back into me. I groan and grip his hair to jerk his head up so I could kiss him. His rhythm rocked both of our bodies and I could feel the grit of the brick wall digging into the small of my back but I couldn't have cared even if you paid me. The feel of his thick manhood slamming into the deepest part of my body was something out of a Heavenly dream except better because I was living it.
Our noises probably could have been heard straight to the Hanged Man as we started to reach our climaxes. I could feel mine building and it was well worth the wait. "Kora-" the man grits as he starts to move faster. "I'm going-"
"Zev!" I scream out as my insides clench around his erection. He nearly chokes on my name as his orgasm cascades over him as well and I feel him spill himself into my body. I can't even breathe with how beautiful my orgasm is and I could swear that as it starts to ease all of the colors around me are brighter and more vibrant than ever before. I was probably just being stupid.
Zevran pulls out after his manhood goes soft and I feel myself being lowered slowly to the ground. "Kora, why did we wait that long?" he whispers hoarsely as he kisses my forehead.
"'Cause I'm an idiot," I mutter as he helps me pull on my pants. He chuckles as he fixes himself and then he dips down to pick me up under my legs. "What are you doing?"
He smirks and kisses my nose. "If you walk then it will start to feel a bit uncomfortable," he states as if it is obvious. I am confused for two seconds before I start to feel the moisture between my legs. I laugh softly kissing his neck as I relax back into him. "Why did Anders come to the house today?"
His question catches me off guard. "How did you-" I stop and just lean my head against his shoulder. "I asked him to check and see if I was sterile."
"Why would that matter?" he asks confused.
I cling to him. I didn't want him to find out this way. "I-I didn't want to take the chance that I could have children," I whisper softly stroking the back of his neck. "As a Grey Warden…I am tainted by the Dark Spawn. I don't want to bear a child into this world with fear that it will be tainted. It wouldn't be right for that child but…Anders said that I am completely sterile. Morrigan told me that it might happened because the taint from the Demon stayed in my body for about a day."
He stays silent for a long time before chuckling softly. "Good thing," he whispers into my hair as he opens the door to our house somewhat awkwardly. "I wouldn't want little Zevrans running around. It would be creepy." I laugh brightly at his words and kiss his lips as he takes me to the bathroom so that I can clean up before we go to bed.
I stand on my own and feel the liquid running down my thighs. I cringe. "That's gross," I mutter making the man laugh. I clean myself up while Zevran changes clothing so that we can get to bed. "Thank you, by the way." He perks up at my words and is obviously confused.
"You're welcome but I have never had a woman thank me for sex before!" he laughs earning a sharp smack from me. "What?"
"I wasn't talking about the sex…well, that was wonderful! Don't get me wrong! But…thanks for waiting this long," I say rubbing the back of my head as I go to fish out some new pants to sleep in. I look up to see the soft smile on his face.
He walks over and wraps his arms around my waist. "I told you Kora. I haven't felt like this for anyone in a long time," he admits kissing my lips lightly. "I knew you would come around eventually. It's my natural charm!"
I laugh and smack his arm again. "Right, that's what it was!" I smile as he pulls away to go to the bed.
"Come to bed," he says patting the bed beside him as I pull on my shirt. I smile and walk over to slip into the bed next to him. "So does this mean that I can wake you up for some morning sex?"
His words make me laugh but I nod my head. "You can wake me up whenever you want," I whisper as I place my head on the pillow his arm wrapping around my waist to pull me back against the curve of his body. We fit together like we were made for each other and his lips press to my neck gently. "But it had better be worth it."
"It will always be worth it," he whispers before I hear him fall to sleep.
I can feel that I'm not too far behind him and slowly the sleep claims me. The last thing I see is the house we have made with each other and I smile softly. This was nice. This feeling of belonging; this feeling of having a stationary place to stay where I didn't have to pack up camp and move to the next place. The feeling of having somewhere that was cozy, sweet, and a home where I could come to rest when I needed some time away from everything. It felt nice to have someone there who could take away the pain. Someone to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry; someone who could take my breath away with a single smile. It felt nice…just to have a place to rest my head when the world got too heavy to hold anymore.
This was perfection.