Chapter 3 – Boy, it's Been a Long Time
A month or two after finishing chapter 2, Jakindabox(Jakinthebox, but someone stole it) has finally finished Chapter 3(YAY ME!)
(And so, we return to our heroes after almost 2-3 months of nothingness. Wait, is that a word? Never mind that. Back to the story.)
Zidane: Oh great, the writer took so long to begin writing again that Blank died! YOU MONSTER!
Jakindabox: Oh shut up dude, I can revive him. (Revives Blank) Then I can put him back to when he was seriously injured. (Injures Blank)
Blank: Ow! Da pain!
Jakindabox: Bye now. (Explodes)
Zidane: Holy crap. What just happened there? Forget it, gotta heal Blank! OK, that should go there, and his leg should be on his head, and oh wait, forgot the brain.
(Ten minutes Forty seconds later)
Zidane: There you go, all patched up now.
Blank: I'm behind you tard, you just treated a dead rat that's been dead for a week.
Zidane: Come on Bob, don't die on me now! (Flat line) WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?!
Blank: Oh shut up and heal me dangit.
(Meanwhile, while Steiner was burning chocobos)
Girl whose name I forgot: Oh Steiner, this is the best business I've ever done. Kentucky Fried Chocobo is the best food on the market!
Steiner: Don't thank me ma'am, thank these chocobos and their stupidity.
(Chocobo kicks Steiner in nuts)
Steiner: Ooh, gotta watch out for that leg.
GWNIF: I'm sorry Steiner, you're fired.
Steiner: What!? I made this food!
GWNIF: I'll make more money without you here! Now get outta my house! (Kicks in the nuts, then rolls down off the cliff into the Evil Forest)
Steiner: Aaaaaaaaaah! (cough) aaaaaaaaaah! (hack wheeze) aaaaaaaaaah! (Crash)
(Now about those doors)
Vivi: Holy crap, I just managed to pass all the doors and now I'm in the castle
Soldier: Holy crap, how'd you get there!?
Vivi: More like, how'd you get born! (kicks in nuts) hehehe! (runs away)
Soldier: Hey get back here! (draws sword)
Vivi: Crap! (casts ultima)
Now let me tell you about what happened there. Picture this. A giant rock large enough to destroy Alexandria is thrown and destroys Alexandria, leaving only Vivi, Garnet, and that stupid chef Quina alive somehow.
Vivi: Oh man, I think I just tripped the soldier.
Soldier: ….
Vivi: Well, this is a good time. (Steals wallet) Sucker!
Garnet: What happened? Mom? Oh well. (Steals everything in castle treasury) I'm off to sell these riches for a ripped-off price!
Quina: Derka Derka, Muhammad Jihad! (Grabs fork and starts eating dead people)
Vivi: Oh my god, is that a zombie? FIRAGA! (casts Shitga)
Quina: Shit is rich delicacy in my hometown. Is very rare to find! (eats shit)
Vivi: Holy mother of…
Garnet: Who the hecks there? I have a giant sack of gold, and I'm not afraid to use it. Not that I would hurt them with you, my treasure.
Vivi: Hey, I think we're suppose to make a party and go vanquish evil or something.
Garnet: Screw that, I need to sell this crap.
Quina: (Moan…a long one.)
And so, our heroes/morons/R-tards continue their quest to do…something. As for me, I shall be in my computer slacking off and suddenly thinking of random things.