Chapter 4
Well, heres Chapter 4. Huzzah. I need a beer. Or two.
What happened to our heroes? Let's find out…
(Somewhere like 5 miles outside Alexandria 5 minutes ago…)
Catherine: What's that huge massive orb of destruction coming at us doing there? (…) Oh. AAAAAAAAAAH! Quick, everyone underneath their bed!
(Hides underneath bed)
(Ka-boom) (Ka-boom) (Ka-boom) (Chirp Chirp Ka-boom) (Ka-boom)
Catherine: Wow, I'm still al- (Gets taken away by giant condor)
(Meanwhile, down at Evil Forest…)
Steiner: That's you get for stealing my KFC FOO'! Now off to find a way outta here. Hmm, I can't seem to chop down these trees because Square Enix won't let me. Doesn't hurt trying. (Slashes at tree. BATTLE!)
Steiner vs Tree, Steiner 300 HP, Tree 1 HP
Steiner: Bring it on MOFO! (charges at tree, trips on tree roots) Um, this doesn't look too good does it?
Steiner crashes into rock hard tree, Tree loses 1/2 HP, Steiner 299 1/2
Steiner: Since when did we have half healths?
Jakindabox: Since I said so! (explodes again)
Steiner: (Glowing around his body) Oh my god, I think I have AIDS now. NOOOO!
Jakindabox: Hey retard, you're in Trance stupid.
Steiner: Same thing! Noooooo! (Slices Tree in half)
OMFG LVL UP! Steiner gains: 1 EXP, 100 AP
Steiner: OK, just gotta slice through all these trees and I'm outta here.
(Slicing sounds from Steiner's Weak-Ass Broadsword)
The pile of Alexandrian rubble…
Vivi: So what do we do now?
Quina: Quina good with eating shit (continues eating)
Garnet: Luckily, we at Alexandria Castle, or what's left of it, have an underground airship! And I'm not letting either of you get on it!
Vivi: Thundaga! (Casts Shit!)
Garnet: Aaaah! Smelliness! My one weakness! (Garnet: 0 HP, Game over…not!)
Vivi: OK, come on shiteater, we're going on a cruise.
Quina: Quina bring food (drags hundreds of bodies onto ship)
Well, about Zidane and Blank…No, they didn't go Brokeback Mountain. Jeez.
Zidane: There you go, all patched up.
Blank(muffled voice): Dude, you wrapped me into a ball.
Zidane: Man I knew these rubber bands would come in handy! Onward! (Jumps on Blank)
Blank: OH MY GOD! THE PAIN! IT'S STILL THERE!
Zidane: Now, to rubber band ball myself to victory!
What will happen to our fabled heroes? I don't know, get a job! My ideas are random bursts! Now let me explode!