Chapter 5 – When Things Go Weird
Somewhere in the Evil Forest, in a galaxy far, far away, next to that Taco Bell…
Steiner: Phew, how many trees do I have to cut? (looks at convient chainsaw back at starting point) Aw crap. I'm commin' chainsaw! (Runs back)
Zidane: Wheeeee!
Blank: AAAAH! DA PAIN!
Zidane: Quit your whining, I see light. Oh god, we're heading into AIDS!
Blank: No you moron, it's Trance!
Zidane: Transvestite?
Blank: No,(ow.) TRANCE! (ow)
Zidane: You get AIDS from Trance? NROOOOO!
Blank: Just shut up.
Zidane: OK.
Steiner: (lifts up chainsaw) Alright, better put on this mask.
Zidane: (bounces to Steiner's place) OH MY GOD! A CHAINSAW CRAZY PERSON! (kicks Steiner in nuts)
Blank: (unwraps himself from rubber bands) Holy crap, it's Rusty!
Steiner: Say that again and your gonna get cut in half!
Blank: I say nothing now.
In the airship, AIR…SHIP!
Vivi: Who the heck named it AIR…SHIP?
Garnet: Oh, uh, my mom was being stupid, so she let a retard think of a name.
Quina: Don't bother me. I'm eating.
Vivi: Oh God, how many do you have? (hurls out of airship)
Uhoh…
Old Man: Hey, what's that chowder falling down from the air? (Splatty-Splat-Splat) Ew! Oh my god, this is PASMERE YOU JACKASS! (waves fist at Vivi)
Vivi: Oh no you did not! Ultima! (casts Shitima)
Imagine that you take a dump. Now, image that your inside the toilet when you're doing that. That's what happened to the old man.
Vivi: Booya!
Black Waltz No. 1 flies in
Vivi: Holy shit, when'd you come into the story?
BW1: Forget that, let's fight!
Vivi: 100 HP, Garnet: 90 HP, Quina: 1 HP Black Waltz: A lot of HP
Vivi: We're never gonna kill him!
Garnet: Let me summon a Eiodelon! (…Insufficient MP) Bastards!
Jakindabox: Fine! (Casts Odin)
Odin: Die you ugly hobo! (stabs BW1)
BW1: OW! MY SPLEEN! MY TRUE WEAKNESS! (falls off ship into bottomless pit) Nooooo! Wait I can fly! Haha suckers! (Lightning strikes BW1) Noooooo! (Dies)
Vivi: Asta La Vista, baby.
So ends another trip down the FF9 Hall. Ka-boom…?