Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

CHAPTER: 20

Alex woke up not even an hour later after Bobby had fallen asleep. At first, she was a bit startled by the feeling of partially lying on top of something…on top of someone, but then she inhaled deeply and a small smile immediately appeared on her face. She knew that smell. She slowly tilted her head up to see Bobby, deep asleep; his left arm slung lightly around her waist, almost protective like. Alex couldn't help but grin. It was cute. Bobby looked so beautiful at that very moment, that Alex felt her heart soar.

She was still partially on top of him and partially on the bed when she reached up with her left hand and softly ran her hand through his soft curls next to his temple. After a few moments, she began to get up. She didn't want to leave him, leave the position she was in, but she needed to use the bathroom.

After standing up and slowly stretching, she looked at him one more time and then bent down and whispered, "My Bobby…My strong, sweet, Bobby" into his ear before turning and making her way into the bathroom.

Immediately after walking through the doorway of the bathroom, she noticed the bathroom floor and froze mid-step. It was clean enough to eat off of. Her eyes then made their way to the sink where she assumed the knife and bottle of Glenlivit would still be. She was wrong. The bottle was thrown away in the trash and the knife, now clean, was sitting on the counter.

Dammit. So that's why he took so long in the bathroom. He was cleaning up. Shit.

Before this, she was too busy trying to take care of Bobby to worry about it…but as she headed to the bathroom, knowing that Bobby was sound asleep, she was going to quickly make an attempt to clean it up. She frowned and tightly closed her eyes as the horrible images flashed before her of when Bobby was lying on the cold, wet floor of his bathroom, coated in blood and alcohol.

How could I have waited this long? She mused and shook her head. The poor man…how many times does he have to clean up his own blood?

After relieving herself, she walked back out to where Bobby still lied asleep in bed. She paused for a few moments to look at him and then softly sat back down on the bed and turned to scan, to search Bobby's figure...his features once more.

Will I ever get to see him like this again? She contemplated and then it brought an empty feeling to the pit of her stomach. Will he push me away after this? Will it feel awkward? And then her heart sank. I could stay like this forever…sitting on his bed, watching him sleep…and keeping him safe.

Bobby was still on his back with his left arm sprawled out to where Alex was lying, and his right hand lying gently across his stomach. He looked so peaceful for a man that had been haunted by so many things. She was surprised that he had not woken up from a nightmare already, but as she thought about it more, she wondered if she had something to do with it; perhaps just lying next to him. She knew he felt safe when she was with him and she couldn't help but hope that she had something to do with his peaceful slumber.

Shaking her head to clear all of the theories out of her head, Alex crawled back into bed and under the covers with him once more. She gently lifted Bobby's left arm and curled up next to him; snuggling as close to his side as she possibly could. She let his arm dangle around her once more like before, but this time, she wasn't all the way on top of him. Alex rested her head on his chest and immediately after, looked up into Bobby's tiresome features on his face. She swore she saw a small smile cross his face. He looked so tranquil. She heard him sigh and could swear she felt him aching for physical contact. She thought she felt him hold her tighter, but she shrugged it off and assumed it was just her.

It felt right though. Nothing at this very moment felt wrong to Alex. She wanted to be with him, like this every night for the rest of her life. It scared her to think about it, and now, she no longer thought about the consequences of their actions.

Oh god, I do love him. I love him so much…but…no, he doesn't…does he? Does he love me back?

In response to her thoughts, she lifted her left arm and carefully placed it over his stomach; though careful of his wound. She was surprised he was able to let her lay on him for so long as it was with his stitches, but it didn't seem to bother him.

She sighed and whispered, "I love you, Bobby" and then closed her eyes tightly at the revelation. She was afraid of him hearing her. It was the first time she had ever uttered it out loud before; she never dared to say it out loud even if she were alone in her apartment. She'd never admitted it to herself verbally until now and she was petrified…but then, not so much. She feared he would hear her, but then after a few moments, she wished he would have.

After she got her emotions under control, she opened her eyes back up and looked at him. She marveled at the way he looked. He appeared so innocent when he slept. She longed to be in this position, with him, either one of them holding the other. It didn't matter to her as long as she was with Bobby, her body firmly against his...their bodies molded together.

Alex missed feeling him under the tips of her fingers. She recalled those few times, when they were holding each other, that she was able to wrap her arms around him. He had no shirt on then and it felt amazing in a way that she could never describe. She hated the way she was looking too far into the encounters, into those few moments with him in her arms, but she couldn't help it. She silently wished he had never put a shirt back on. She couldn't understand why he was embarrassed.

Yes, he had aged, but who doesn't? Hell, I have myself. Besides, I find the grey that covers most of his hair nowadays, sexy as hell. I'm glad he hasn't resorted to dying it. She mused as she glanced up at his soft curls. Yes, he's put weight on, but I don't care about that. He's still very attractive in my eyes and always will be. It's not just about looks with Bobby…though he definitely isn't bad on the eyes.

She longed for Bobby and, to this day, she doesn't know what made her do it, but her left hand that lied softly on his stomach, started making small circles on his right side. It was innocent at first, but then it slipped down lower until it stopped at the bottom of his T-Shirt. She hesitated for only a split second before she slipped her tiny hand underneath his shirt, exploring and feeling the reasurring, comfortable heat that radiated off his skin.

She had felt her hands on his bare skin before, on his back when he didn't have a shirt on. When she had to wrap her arm around him to guide him out of the bathroom…but this was different. This was an affectionate, tenderness touch that was made for only him.

Oh god.

During this time, there were no, 'stop it, Alex, before you ruin things,' or 'he doesn't want this…doesn't need this.' Nothing. She evened surprised herself at how confident she was. She'd come so close to loosing him too many times…there was no way she could deny it any longer. She loved him, she knew it for sure, and she wasn't going to let anything happen to him ever again.

Her soft hand made its way up passed his belly button and his shirt started to rise up somewhat as she continued to head north. She could feel his chest hair and began to unconsciously play with it and deeply relax into him until a hand caught her forearm and halted her in place.

Oh shit.

A/N: Wow. Ok, so what I was originally going to write…well, lets just say this stories taking a total 360 degree turn from where I was going to go. LOL. Hope you guys like it so far (Smiles).

-Snyder-