Chapter 7
W00t! I'm obliging to write longer chapters…at least for a while.
Back to the Evil Forest…
Zidane: Well, how the heck are we gonna get outta this place?
Steiner: Might I sugges-
Blank: Blah blah blah let's kill the boss!
Zidane: Works for me!
Baku: Uh, you guys go ahead, I think I broke my ass, can't fight that well.
Blank: FAT ASS LIAR!
Zidane: Whatever, let's just get going.
Minutes later…
Zidane: Phew, it's pretty hard killing these things!
Blank: That's because you have a puny dagger! You know what they say about people with daggers…
Zidane: Shuddup!
Steiner: We must keep moving, so run fattys run!
Blank: Look who's talking! What's inside that armor! (Lunges at Steiner)
Steiner: Aaagh! (Topples to floor)
Blank: hmm, FantasyBoy magazines (don't mind if I take them), some chocolate bars(I'll take some too), and 40 gil. Knights don't get paid much do they?
Zidane: Alright, let's get moving.
Blank: Wait, we need to bring Rusty, he'll be useful as a sacrifice. (Grabs Steiner)
So, after going through many maps, fighting (but usually running) from many monsters, they reached the end.
Zidane: ZOMGZ! A giant tentacle monster!
SUPER MEGA AWESOME BOSS FIGHTnow with special effects
Blank: HI-YAH! (slashes monster) (WAH-MO!)
Zidane: What was that?
Blank: I think it was the sound effects.
Zidane: Let me try! (slashes monster) (Pooooo.)
Blank: That wasn't me. Seriously!
Zidane: Friggin' cheesy sound effects.
Steiner: (wakes up) Wu-zat? (Sees giant monster.) Oh…snap.
Zidane: Stall him while we escape! (Throws Steiner toward monster)
Steiner deals 10,000 damage to tentacle monster
Zidane: Hmm, he'll be useful later.
And so, they escaped from the monster…
Zidane: Pick up the pace, or we'll be magically turned into stone by the forest, which is also turning into stone too! (Monster pops out of nowhere) AAAAGGGH!
Baku: (tackles monster) You didn't think I would just stay and get stone-ified by the forest, did you?
Blank: Uh…let's get going!
Insert matrix jump out of forest
Insert Explosion of Forest
Zidane: …now what?
Five minutes after the explosion of Quina…
Vivi: Uh, now what do we do?
Garnet: We need some main characters.
Vivi: We won't get them until the second disc
OMG SPOILERS!
Garnet: Alright, let's go visit my uncle, who just happens to be the king of this city.
Vivi: That's cool! Maybe you can show me your treasure vault
Garnet: Why not!?
Vivi: Hehehe…
Meeting Regent Cid…
Regent: Oh I didn't expect you coming here Princess Garnet! Fortunately I have a bed that hasn't been used ever since my wife left me…and stole my money, my airship, and one of my test- uh, one of my…hats.
Garnet: Hey Uncle I'm gonna look around for a bit
Vivi: Is there anything to do in this city?
Regent: Well there's the Festival of Hunt coming up, but it's very dangerous and you may suffer many injuries, such as; diarrhea, upset stomach, fainting, headaches, severe bleeding, AIDS, hepatitis, syphilis, and probably death.
Vivi: Wow, sounds like fun!
Regent: But I just said-
Vivi: I said, IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
Where the hell are we?
Zidane: Where do we go?
Blank: There that's menacing-looking cave filled with ice cubes. But we should wake up this fat ass so we don't have to carry him.
After repeatedly beating the fat corpse…
Steiner: Mommy? Oh wait, it's just you morons.
Baku: These morons hauled your butt outta The Evil Forest, so shuddup!
Zidane: Alright, let's go to the cave!
Never mind. I got lazy.
But it's comeback time again!