*AN. People of Thanks . . . that sounds really weird . . .

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Ultimateyaoifangirl

Vladimir D. Cloud

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Thanks for the reviews, they really help. Keep 'em coming! . . .

This is the night before my NON-calculator maths test . . . I should be studying, but instead I am using my time for greater purposes . . . And after that I have a calculator maths test . . . I love school . . . so very, very much . . . *

Chapter 2

The Effects of the Shrink-ray

Colonel Roy Mustang sat slouched lazily in his usual chair at central HQ. His chin rested in his left hand, elbow supported by the desk, while his right hand fiddled with a black pen, clicking it on and off enough times to drive anyone crazy.

A sudden knock at the door made him jump. Faster than the human eye could keep up with, Mustang had grabbed a pile of papers with a well practised hand (Riza had caught him lazing off lots of times before) with the thoughts, 'Oh god, oh god. Riza's going to kill me!' racing through his head. 'I wonder if burning myself to death would be a less-painful way to go . . .' he had also contemplated many times before.

He started to sign papers furiously and shouted to the woman-who-was-personally-going-to-beat-him-to-death, "Uh . . .come in!"

He heard the door creak open and he winced inwardly, but continued to stare down at his papers and sign and at impressive speed to make it seem as if he had really been trying his hardest to finish the small mountain of damned papers that had been piling up over the past few weeks. Lt. Hawkeye wouldn't buy his obviously fake act - she was used to Roy's excuses by now and would show no mercy towards him. Roy cringed at the thought, waiting for her to begin his slow and agonizingly painful torture.

. . . . . Nothing happened. . . . . . . . .

Roy glanced up hesitantly, confused to why he was still alive and breathing. He found his answer when he looked up and saw the one and only head of none other than Edward Elric, poking through the half-opened door.

Roy closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. He wasn't going to die today. (Although he might think differently if he knew what Ed was thinking . . .) He was surprised to why Ed had shown up here of his own free will, and not being dragged kicking and screaming by his younger, far more mature, brother – but he didn't question it. He quickly composed himself back to his normal, cocky demeanour.

"Fullmetal, what a pleasant surprise," Colonel Mustang droned in a lazily amused voice, resting his chin on his steepled fingers, glancing at the small figure in the doorway. He brought his lips up into his trade-mark smirk, waiting for an angry retort from the midget shrimp . . . but none came . . .

He then looked at Edward properly for the first time.

"Uh . . . Fullmetal . . ." Mustang trailed off. Ed's eyes were boring straight into his with an intensity that slightly scared him. It was as if Ed was looking right into him, and he didn't like it. "Fullmetal . . . What are you doing . . . ?" Roy treaded cautiously, squirming at the focus of those eyes.

An evil smile crept onto Ed's face, and his eyes lit up with a childish glee.

"What am I doing . . ." Ed paused, seeming to have to think about this for a while, relishing the anticipation he felt in the room.

"Well . . ."

Ed sprung into the room, a massive, bad-ass looking laser/gun thingy held in his hands - and pointed directly at Mustang. Obviously.

Roy noticed as Ed's grin was replaced with a look of dead seriousness as he cried,

"PREPARE TO BE VANQUISHED BY THE AWESOME POWERS OF THE SHRINK-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

-ZAP-

. . .

Ed was still holding the gun pointed at Mustang, frozen into position, staring . . .

Mustang's look of horror turned to one of confusion . . . then it deteriorated as he threw his head back unable to hold in his laughter at the situation.

He heard Ed growl somewhere in front of him, making Mustang laugh even harder. "Ha! . . . Looks as if . . . you're little . . . gun . . . didn't work!" he managed to choke out through his hysterical fits. He, Colonel Mustang (soon to be Fuhrer) , Flame Alchemist, Adored-by-the-Ladies, had actually been scared of this little shrimp as he pointed that absolutely, 100% useless gun at him. . . Ha! This was killing him!

Finally calming down enough so he let out just the occasional giggle, Mustang glanced over to Ed to see that he had still not lowered his arms and was glaring at him.

Roy just grinned and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his desk . . . which met with thin air . . . the momentum carried him forward and he toppled to the floor, beneath his desk.

'Huh?' Mustang's eyes widened in surprise. 'What the hell just happened there . . .'

He quickly stood, stepping away from the desk . . . and found that he was eye-level with the Fullmidget Alchemist.

"WHAT THE FUCK? ! ?" Mustang yelled. "NO WAY! ! !" He looked down at himself, and found he was much closer to the ground than he had originally been. He hadn't been this close to the ground since he was eight! And everything looked so . . . Tall . . .

He heard Ed snickering, and he glared at Fullmetal with burning eyes. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" A dangerous edge had entered his voice.

Ed continued to snicker and point at Mustang in delight. "Ha ha . . . You're tiny!" Ed smirked at Mustang, and Mustang retorted, "I'M THE SAME SIZE AS YOU!"

*AN. Remember I said that the Shrink-ray reduces objects to half of it's original size? Isn't that hilarious that when Roy is shrunk to half-size, he is still the same height as Ed (Actually, he's probably a bit taller, after all, Ed is wearing elevated boots . . .) Just thought I'd inform you of this extremely interesting and relevant piece of information! *

Edward glared back at him. "Shut up, you BastardColonel!"

They both glared at each other for a tense few minutes, until Ed glanced back down at the laser/gun, now revealed as the all-powerful Shrink-ray! *twinkle* Yeah! !

He then looked back up to Mustang, a grin twitching at the corners of his lips. ". . . So, Mustang . . . how would you feel about growing a bit shorter, huh?"

Ed raised the gun, and Mustang's eyes widened.

"NOOOOOO!" Roy yelled as he ran forward to attempt to disarm Fullmetal. 'I will not put up with the humiliation of being shorter than the Midget of the People. Never!'

-ZAP-

. . .Sorry for leaving it on a cliff-hanger. . . I need to think a little bit, and I probably should do a bit of studying for my Math's Test (WOO!) before I go to bed early at 2am. The next chapter will take longer, I think, but I'll try to keep the wait to a minimum. Thanks for reading! And please review for me!