MA- Yay Chapter 2!

Raven- See the warnings in the previous chapter!

--yaaaaaayyaaannnnooooottthhheeerrrlllliiiiiinnnneeee--

My house gets wide reactions from everyone who sees it for the first time. It started out as a pretty average house; finished basement with two bedrooms, one bathroom and first floor with master bedroom, master bathroom, another bathroom, kitchen and combined dining/living room. Decently sized when mom and dad bought it and they were expecting their second kid., way too small for all of us now. So dad took out the only hall closet, put in stairs and added a second floor with another bathroom, and three bedrooms. Also, upon seeing the kid trend he and mom had started, he made a spiral staircase up to an attic room and added a half bath. Our house is like those fun houses you see in amusement parks sometimes, much taller then it is wide- some people even swear it leans to one side. It really stands out, not just because of the funky architecture, but also because mom likes colors and plants. We have huge bushes of flowers all around the house and flowering vines covering the tall chain link fence that surrounds the entire house. If that weren't enough, each floor is painted a different pastel color; the first being frosting pink, the middle canary yellow and the top robin's egg blue. All clashing horribly with the dark green shingles on the roof, and on the flat-roofed porch that jutted out from the front of the house. In a neighborhood of smaller one-story, nicely mowed lawns or rock garden landscapes our house was like a fifteen-foot tall clown in a flock of penguins… yeah… Sora's words, not mine.

I rolled to a stop at the front gate and step off the skateboard, I usually try some insane stunt before dismounting, but my ankle was already screaming at me. I open the front gate onto the jungle known as "mom's garden".

"I guess it was worse then I thought it was." Wincing, I limped up the walk to the porch. A rustling in some gardenia bushes nearby stopped me in my tracks. Eyes widening, I watched a small white duck waddle out from where he had probably been napping… or laying in wait for me, who knows.

"qwakwakwak" The duck muttered to himself and fluffed his feathers. He stopped and eyed me, as if noticing me there for the first time.

"H-hey Donald… I don't suppose Demyx is home is he?" I back up slowly, hoping my ankle will support me as I dive for the safety of the house.

Donald started out as an Easter present from one of my older brother, Demyx's, friends a couple years back. He was a cute little duckling, he wasn't bent on my destruction just yet, and Demyx absolutely adored him. Donald decided to protect poor naive Demyx from the world, he started attacking any strangers who tried to get close to Demyx… and me. Why me? Who knows. It might have something to do with a skate boarding incident from when he was little… but I swear it wasn't my fault!

So now whenever Donald is about to attack he gets this look. Much like the one he had now and … oh shit.

"Heeeeeellllp!" I'm not a coward, I swear! But that duck is scary. I made a mad dash toward the house and nearly made the porch before the feathered terror descended upon my poor already abused legs and I crashed to the ground.

"Someone! Anyone! Save me!" I clawed at the stairs. There was a shout, more rustling in the bushes and Demyx ran out. He skidded to a stop taking in the sight of me trying to scramble up the porch stairs and Donald attacking my poor feet.

"Oh god Roxas! Donald stop that!" The damn duck stopped and waddled to Demyx. Demyx leaned over and picked up his duck, who fluffed up and, had he been a cat, this is were he'd start purring in satisfaction.

"Bad little ducky, what have I told you about attacking Roxas." As I tried to stand up, avoiding putting weight on my bad ankle, Demyx continued to scold his duck. He finally looked down at me. His eyes got big and he pointed at me in shock.

"Oh my god! Donald killed Roxas!" I glared at him from my position half on and half off the steps. My second oldest brother is a tall lanky blonde, with a funky mullet/Mohawk hairstyle and the mentality of a three year old. I love him immensely, being the favorite of my two older brothers, but that doesn't mean he doesn't get on my nerves occasionally.

"Demyx, I'm not dead… yet." He squatted down still holding Donald and poked me on the forehead. "Although YOU might be if you continue poking me." I growled.

"Wak!" Donald stretched his neck pecked my arm.

"OW! Damn duck!" I sat up and rubbed my arm. Demyx looked me over questioningly.

"So, did Donald do all that?" I stared up at him, blank faced, for a moment before answering with a straight face.

"Yes. Yes he did. Donald learned how to ride a motorcycle, got his license, followed me to work and then ran me over as I came home. Only to get home before me, hide in the bushes and attack my already abused, battered body before I even entered the house." Demyx's face twisted into a confused expression, he may be one of my favorite brother's, but sometimes he's as dense as a brick.

"Well… I know he's a smart duck, but I didn't think ducks could get a motorcycle license… how would his feet reach the gear shift…?"

"Demyx," I interrupt his insane pondering, "I was kidding. As in haha joking. I WAS ran over, but your duck had nothing to do with that part."

"Oh. Well, I can't really feel sorry for you then… not after the skateboard incident."

"Gee," I think bitterly, "feel the love." He stood up and depositing Donald on the lawn turned and helped me up the stairs.

"Oh, and mom said to tell you that we're going to that barbeque at Riku's dad's tonight, so don't make plans. erm… oh and Kairi says if you ever let Mickey into her room again she's feeding him to Goofy." I grinned and followed him inside.

"It isn't my fault Mickey likes her underwear drawer. I, personally, find it rather disturbing, but to each his own." Mickey happened to be my ferret, "and besides I don't think llama's are carnivorous."

Yes. I said llama. My baby sister, Namine, brought Goofy home one day when she was about seven. We still have no clue where he came from and no one claimed him so we got to keep him. He's the stupidest, friendliest animal you'd ever meet- pretty much Donald's polar opposite. He lives in our backyard and frustrates mom to no end by eating her roses and lilies.

"Well, according to you and most of my friends, Donald's carnivorous." I rolled my eyes as I followed him into the house.

"It's not that he's carnivorous, he's just a homicidal… Oh gawd's!" I shouted the last two words as I experienced the worst case of déjà vu ever.

Cloud, the oldest of my brother's, was sprawled on our dining room table, engaged in a heavy make-out session with his stoic, "Ihavenoemotionswhatsoever" boyfriend/partner for life, Squall (call me Leon dammit!) Lionhart. Both shirtless, hands down the pants, one step up from ripping off said pants and screwing each other senseless on the table, make-out session. Had they both not been brothers to me, let alone both had changed my diapers when I was a baby and that just slightly disturbs me, this would have been the hottest thing I had even seen. Both were muscular, sexy guys in their early twenties (tell me I did not just call Cloud sexy twitch) Cloud was slightly shorter then Leon, although his spiky blonde hair gave him a few more inches. Leon, on the other hand, had choppy shoulder length brown hair and stormy grey eyes, though you really couldn't see his eyes from this view. His ass on the other hand… well there were times I was jealous of my oldest brother, until I remember that Leon had the emotional range of a slug. They had been dating basically since they were old enough to realize what dating meant. Except for about a year when they were both fourteen, they'd been inseparable (neither of them likes to talk about that year and besides they more then made up for it in the years following it).

Leon is technically my adopted brother, his parent's died in a boating accident when I was little and my parents were named guardians. My parents took it in stride, he had basically lived with us before then anyways, and moved him in with Cloud. When they discovered that the boys "fancied each other" as mom quaintly puts it, dad sat them down for "the" talk, mom started planning a gay wedding, and bemoaned the loss of grandkids (apparently forgetting the fact that, by then, she had four other sons and two daughters).

I would love, lovelovelovelove, to say this act I walked in on surprised and shocked me. The sad fact is that no, this is basically a daily occurrence. The only thing that surprised me was that usually it happens in places like Cloud and Leon's room. Occasionally the bathroom, or when they get trashed (much to the chagrin of the neighbors) the backyard. The first time I walked in on my brothers in this position, I thought I was scarred for life, now it just embarrasses the hell out of me. They don't even bother locking doors anymore. Granted when two of your little brothers, a little sister, and your brothers best friend can unlock doors without thinking about it… I suppose it can force someone to become an exhibitionist- either that or never get laid again. Yeah… Cloud not getting any… talk about scary.

My eyes were wide, locked on the scene before me were starting to dry out. I wanted to blink… needed to blink, but I couldn't look away… it was the whole train wreck scenario. Thankfully I was saved by Demyx's cry of horror.

"Oh my god! Cloud! Leon! Mom's gonna kill you if she catches you on that table!" I blinked finally and looked at Demyx, who looked like he was about to have a seizure, his face beet red and his eyes wide. I guess I keep forgetting that even though I've walked in on the two more then what's considered healthy, not everyone has. Poor Dem.

As if on cue we heard a far too familiar voice behind us.

"Cloud and Squall are doing what? on what table?" Demyx and I spin suddenly facing the seemingly sweet being that happened to be our mother, Aeris, a petit brunette in a pink dress.

Moving to block the horny boys, who still had yet to notice anything wrong and so were still at it like horny rabbits. We tried to think of some excuse to give both of them time to figure out they were toast.

"Ermm…" Demyx said with amazing articulacy.

"Ah…." Not that I was much better.

Mom motioned us with a wave of a hand. Both of us dived out of the way, ducking behind various pieces of furniture, waiting for Armageddon. Her sweet smile stayed in place as she observed the sight in front of her.

A full thirty seconds passed before Cloud finally opened his eyes. He looked up at Leon with lust filled eyes before catching mom out of the corner of his eye. You could almost hear his thoughts at that point.

"Oh look, it's mom… Oh… Fuck!" His eyes bugged and he shoved Leon off of him sending him crashing to the floor, cursing while he fell.

"Fuck! Ow! Cloud! What the he…ll" He stopped finally noticing mom coming toward them. "Oh."

""Oh" Is right Squall sweetie." Hands on her hips she gave "the look" to one, then the other. Mom never glares, she gives this look that makes you want to rip out your own spine and beat yourself with it. "So… what have your father and I said about sex on the furniture?"

"Well, technically, it wasn't sex yet, just… making… out…" Cloud trailed off as "the look" intensified. "Um… I mean… Never ever, ever, with threats of disembowelment?"

Mom smiled, which made me want to wet myself. Cloud gulped. Leon… well… once he managed to get his stoic exterior back, he was very hard to read, but I think it's safe to say mom scared the shit out of him too.

"I think we decided castration, but close enough." Cloud passed out., falling back onto the dining room table.

"Uh, mom, I think you killed Cloud." A very pale, wide eyed Demyx coming out from behind the couch.

"Nonsense dear." She waved a hand at Demyx, smiling still. "Leon, wake Cloud up and then the two of you get to sterilize this room. I'll have to castrate the two of you later. I promised Sephiroth I'd bring dessert to the barbeque, Demyx, come help me. Roxas, go find Sora and both of you get changed." She paused as I stood up, apparently just now noticing the state I was in.

"Good lord! What happened to you!?" I flushed, rubbing the back of my head.

"Erm, I kinda sorta got ran over." I mumbled.

"What!?" Something slammed into me and I found mom hugging the life out of me. "My poor baby! Are you ok? Do I need to take you to the hospital? Who do I need to have your father kill?" I pulled on an arm so I could breathe and answer her.

"Umm… mom, I'm alright, just a sprained ankle and some scrapes. Please don't have dad kill him, it was mostly my fault anyway." She pulled away and held me at arms length, grinning.

"He?"

Uh oh.

"Has my baby FINALLY gotten over that horrible Seifer guy?" I blushed horribly and stuttered.

"Wait. What?! No! It's not like that! I just…" I could see I wasn't being listened to as she crushed me into another suffocating hug.

"Hooray! I have another wedding to plan!" I rolled my eyes. Gardening and planning her gay sons' weddings, those were her hobbies. I sigh, trying not to feel defeated.

"Mom, even if I liked him… which I don't! I don't even know his name and he's probably already gone. I think he was a tourist." It was too late, she was still crushing my lungs going on about how one of my colors just HAD to be blue to complement my eyes.

--weeeeeeeennndoooofffffchhhaaaappptttterrr2222222--

MA- Constructive criticism and compliments are candy to me!

Archer- Flames are just fodder for more controversy!