Chapter One

I was sitting next to Kelly, her hand slung around my shoulders, but that was about as intimate as it got, because she was toggling with her PS2. Again. I suppressed a groan,"Kel, don't you think we could do something else instead? Like, since I'm here and your dad's out-"

"Like what, Victor? Gimme a break why don't you, you're always trying to get a kiss half the time... And I'm barely past this scene!" She pulled away irritably, waving me off. Which was something that had never happenned before.

I scowled,"Okay, chill, alright?" Mollified, she swung her head back to the screen in front of her, returning to her game. Usually, Kel wasn't a computer freak. She preferred sports and being in the sun. And kissing, of course. But that was usually, before Dirge of Cerberus arrived. Ever since then... let's just say that she wasn't the most sociable person around. Don't get me wrong. Kelly's a nice girl, and cool to be around. Now, however, things had changed, and for the worse.

Out of boredom, I glared at the cover of the game. So what about it? Okay, it was popular, 'cos it was a Final Fantasy 7 (I'd never even heard of it before Kel's obsession) spinoff. Great. And it had guns and a really cheesy picture of a guy with long hair and red eyes on the front. Okaaay. Seriously, what era did he live in? Caveman? He didn't even know the first thing about combing his hair!

"WHAT did you just say, Victor!?" Kelly's furious screech set my ears ringing.

"Uh, what?" I sought out the other end of the sofa for cover, clapping my hands to my ears. Ouch. That girl could scream.

"Vincent Valentine is not a caveman!!! And, he's hot - unlike somebody whom I know!"

Oh, shit. I had spoken out loud without even thinking about it. I couldn't believe what she'd just said about me, though. It was gonna be crunch time.

"For Pete's sake, Kel, he's just a CG character! He doesn't even exist! You can't go around comparing CG guys to real-life people! Sides, you already have a boyfriend!"

"Whatever. Victor - just go before I throw you out myself. Don't bother calling tommorrow." She sounded annoyed, but I decided it was better to just scram. There's no crossing a black-belt in karate, no matter how infuriated you may be at the said person.

"Fine. I'm going. Have fun. Too bad he's not real, Kel. Three words - get a life."

I wound up on the doorstep three seconds and a sprained shoulder later, deeply regretting what I'd said. Kel's throw had been anything but gentle. Stupid Dirge of Cerberus. Stupid girlfriend-stealing-doesn't-even-exist-in-real-life-caveman Vincent Valentine. Ignoring the garish Halloween trick-or-treaters out on the streets, I staggered home, dignity in shreds.

Somewhere, further away, in a different time and place, Vincent Valentine sneezed three times. Clutching a tissue to his nose, he waved his claw around in irritation. "Did you hear what he just said about me? Who does he think he is? I could just strangle him! My hair is fine! I love Lucrecia! How dare he accuse me of stealing his girlfriend? And it's not like I wanted all those fangirls drooling over me-"

"Now, now, Vincent." Aeris patted him on the shoulder consolingly. "I'm sure he didn't mean it - he was just angry. But still - he may just be the one." She smiled at him with a twinkle in her eye. "How would you like to go back to school, Vincent?"

Author's Note:

Blame this on insomnia and too much DOC. Reviews, anyone? *smiles hopefully*