AN. Soooo . Here's the next chapter for ya. . . dun dun DUN! . . . right . . .

I'm really sorry if i didn't reply to your reviews. This is because I replied to most people, but I forgot for others, and by then it would be weird if I sent a reply a month later . . .

BASIC SUMMARY : what happened in chapter 3 is Riza's about to kick Roy and Ed's asses, Roy because he's not finished his paperwork - what's new? and Ed because he wont hand over the Shrink-ray.

Chapter 4 - What Lurks Yonder the Couch - What an awesome chapter title!

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Ed's head snapped up at Riza's next words. "Don't think I'm letting you off, Edward. Give me the gun. NOW!"

"B-but M-Mustung . . . paperwork . . ." Ed trailed off.

Riza glanced over to the shaking Colonel. "He will also be dealt with. I promise."

'Ahhhh! She's staring holes into me again! Damn if she isn't a scary woman . . . I HATE YOU, FULLMETAL!'

Edventually Roy couldn't take it anymore, and made a dive for the sofa. Not onto the sofa. I mean underneath the sofa. There, the Magnificent Flame Alchemist, Colonel Mustang, lifelong dream and ambition to become the Fuhrer, sat huddled in a ball, cowering in fear, knees pulled up to his chin, and shaking like a leaf.

"Don't . . . wanna . . . die . . . not . . . safe . . . don't . . . wanna . . . wanna . . . live . . . not . . . die . . .living . . . good . . ."

It was then that Colonel Mustang realised that Lt. Hawkeye hadn't pursued him . . . yet.

"Still alive," He breathed in shakily. 'As long as Eds being mashed to into a pulp and not me, everything's ok.' Roy wasn't being self-centered. Not at all. Actually, quite the contrary. 'The poor ladies wouldn't be able to gaze upon my handsome features if it was all mashed up,' he thought in a rather valient, self-sacrificing manner of true gentlemanship, putting a hand to his chin and giving a quick nod, as if to agree with himself. "Yes, yes, that makes sense. . ."

Ed watched as Mustang threw himself under the couch and left him to face the Demon's wrath by himself. ' . . . traitor . . .' Ed thought dejectedly.

He then looked back to her and wished he hadn't.

Gulping nervously Ed tried once again at a failed technique. "W-wow! Did I tell you how s-stunning you look today, Lietenant?"

"Yes you did," Riza stated.

"U-uh um . . . You smell nice?" he tried again.

"Yes."

"Urm . . . you must get told how dashing you look all the time?"

"Yes."

" . . . You always look great?"

"Yes."

Ed rubbed his head thoughtfully. "Man, I really used them all up, didn't I?" He muttered. ". . .Your hair looks nice today?"

"No, you didn't use that one."

Edward brightened. "Oh. Well, your hair looks nice today, Lietena. . ."

-BANG-

Ed stood frozen as a bullet flew right past his head, taking a few strands of hair with it (NOT THE HAIR!) . The slight smile was still present on his features, as if he hadn't yet processed what had just happened, a hand outstretched in a friendly gesture towards the one who, a second ago, had nearly blown his head clean off.

After a few seconds of silence, Ed recovered and backed up. "WHAT THE HELL! . . . T-that wasn't n-nice . . ." he faltered, as she stepped forward towards him.

'That didn't work as planned. . .'

. . . Entering the realm of Ed, child genius's mind, and his very logical way of thinking. . .

Plan A : stand very still, don't move, hope she forgets you're there - FAILED.

Plan B : Compliment her, tell her how nice she looks - FAILED.

Plan c : Mention casually that Colonel Bastard still has to finish his paperwork mountain, substantially averting attention - FAILED.

Plan D : Abandon all of the above plans 'coz their stupid and will never work - PASSED

'My best chance of survival is to hide with Colonel Bastard, because then there is a small chance that she may divert her attention on to him and attack him instead of me. . . THINK FAST, ED!'

Without another thought, Ed dashed for the couch, where he knew the Colonel hid. He made a dive for the small gap between the couch and the floor . . . and managed to bump himself on the head instead. Ed spent a few precious moments trying to squeeze underneath it, with the demon slowly advancing on him.

"What? I'm not small enough to fit under the couch. . . The ONLY time I wish I was actually small . . . THE ONLY TIME!

. . .Only one thing to do. . ." Ed muttered to himself determindely. 'I'm really gonna regret this!'

-ZAP-

Sorry for the massive delay, and that the length of this chapter doesn't make up for the wait; it's actually shorter. . .Sorry.

I got the whole boxset of Death Note for my birthday!, which I finished pretty quickly. I was off school one day, and I managed to watch 17 episodes! (which is nearly half of the whole anime, which is 37 episodes) . . . I'm a pretty sad person. . .