Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

CHAPTER: 28

As the shower continued to run, Bobby began to believe that the rumors about women taking too long in the shower were indeed true.

She can stay in there until the hot water runs out if she wants to...for as long as she wants. As long as she's here.

Bobby blinked those long, dark eyelashes of his a few times. He was on the verge of tears just thinking about her with him. After all they had been through over the seven, almost eight years, and she was still with him. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around it. After all the heartache, the politics and the cold shoulders he's given her, she was still by his side.

He couldn't help but begin to think about what it would be like if she had left sometime during their partnership. What if she didn't stick it out? Where would he be now? Would he still be at Major Case? Would he still even be a Detective? Or would he be…

Lost. Or possibly dead. And then he delicately turned his head in the direction of the door to the room she was in. Not possibly. I would be dead. I would've lost it a long time ago if she wasn't here to hold me down.

He closed his eyes tight as his tiresome features compressed together and his forehead wrinkled. He rubbed at his eyes and fought the tiredness. His fingers softly, hesitantly felt the bump that had formed on his forehead, where he had hit his head earlier, and then made their way down to his cheek and to his chin where he felt his beard as it endlessly grew longer and greyer. He swore he could feel it turning lighter as the days past. He felt older, stiffer, and he reminded himself to shave in the morning. It had been a couple days. He was already passed the rugged feel of his five o'clock shadow and onto a softer-like beard now. He was surprised Alex hadn't called him Santa Claus yet. It looked like it, in more ways than one.

Bobby was still lying on his bed, sprawled out on his back, listening to the shower run. His thoughts immediately went to Alex. He couldn't help himself as images passed through his mind of Alex nude in the shower; lathering herself up and then rinsing off her tight body with the steaming hot water.

He quickly pushed those thoughts out of his head.

Now is definitely not the time.

He was determined to stay up and wait for her to come to bed. His bed. He loved the sound of it and it almost took his breath away when he mumbled, "Alex…coming to my bed."

He softly bit his lip as an overwhelming of feelings toppled down on him. There was one difference between this time and all the others: the feelings were all of happiness and of hope.

He sighed, closed those beautiful brown eyes of his once more, and waited for Alex.

Bobby had taken his medication before Alex went into the bathroom. She made sure he took it, but he refused to take his sleep or pain medications. After one of those Alex looks, where she frowns and where he knows she disagrees with him, the look she often gave him during a case, she finally agreed but told him that if he wasn't able to sleep because of the pain or any other reason, than to tell her.

He definitely agreed to this, and that is when she turned and walked into the bathroom and out of site.

As he laid there in bed, he couldn't help but trail his long fingers softly under his shirt and over his stitches. He tenderly rubbed them, though tenderness was the last thing he was feeling about them. He was ashamed of them; like they were apart of him that he didn't want to remember ever.

They still bothered him at times when he was in an awkward position for too long, like the way he was lying on the couch earlier, but it was mostly tolerable. He couldn't help but look back at where he was only a few days ago. He frankly did feel a lot better mentally.

A whole hell of a lot better than I did. I feel like…like I finally have a place in this world. I know I have to see shrink, Ross made sure to make that clear to me the last time I talked to him. I hate talking to shrinks. I don't like to be shrunk.

It was true, Ross told Bobby last time they spoke on the phone that he needed to be seen by a shrink before he came back. It was also very much true that he hated them. It was none of their business what was going on inside of his head.

Bobby was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear Alex step out of the bathroom; her attire only consisting of a pair of pajama shorts and a small black tank-top. He only became aware of her presence when she sat down on the bed and placed a hand on his thigh.

He smiled and opened his eyes to look at her.

"Are you tired yet?" She asked as she started to lie down next to him.

"I'm always tired. The question is: Will I be able to sleep?" He mumbled. "I was…I was waiting for you."

"Hmm." She said as she swiveled to the side and crawled under the cover; smiling when Bobby pulled them back for her. "Well, here I am."

Then Bobby started doing the thing with his eyes that he does when he looks around, like he's almost lost as of what to say or do. He blinks a few times, and every time he opens his eyes from a blink, they're looking in a different direction than before. Its one of the things that gets to her the most when he does it. His brown orbs seem to focus on everything but the person he's talking to. In this case, Alex. They flashed over towards her once she laid down in the bed, but then quickly flashed back down to his stitches, away from her eyes when she looked at him. It was then that she noticed he had a shirt on.

Why does he always have to wear a shirt? Please do not tell me that he's embarrassed with the way he looks.

She tried not to show her disappointment as she continued to watch Bobby's features, his eyes, searching for any sign of distress. She waited for him to speak first.

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no Bobby. Nothings wrong. I was just…thinking."

"About?"

"You." She paused. "You and only you, Bobby." She told him as she slid right up against his side. "Is this ok?" She asked.

He nodded. "Of course it is. You feel good." Then he smelled her. "Hmm and you smell good too."

"Well, I did need a shower." She mumbled into his shoulder.

There was a long silence between them; each one assumed the other one was dozing off to sleep until Bobby felt Alex shake softly.

"Are you cold?" He asked, assuming it was the most logical explanation. He tilted his head to the side so that she could see her face and then he immediately knew she wasn't. "Alex, what's wrong?" He asked and swiftly turned on to his left side to face her. He saw the tears falling from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry. It's nothing. Just go back to sleep."

That wasn't good enough for Bobby. He was about to lift her chin up with his fingers to look her in the eyes when he watched in amazement as she buried her face into his chest even deeper and wrapped her arms around him as much as she possibly could in their position.

"I wasn't asleep." He whispered and then, "Alex. Please talk to me." He pleaded.

It took a few moments for her to gather up her strength and pull away from him slightly, but when she did, it broke Bobby's heart.

Before he could stop himself, her blurted out, "Is it something I did?" He wanted to know. He needed to know. It was killing him. He didn't like to see her upset, ever.

"Oh, Bobby, no." She proclaimed. "It's just…I worry about you."

"But I'm fine, Alex. As fine as I can be."

"But…it's my fault." She whispered and gathered his shirt up in to her fists.

"What is?" He was deeply confused now and he didn't bother to hide it in his tone.

She took a deep breath, knowing that she had to tell him. He had been open with her, so it was her turn to be open with him.

"Do you…do you know how many times I wished that I…" She swallowed hard. She was more worried what this was going to do to him than to her. "How many times I wished that I never would've turned around and talked to Frank? Or never let him explain himself to me? How many times I wished, just fucking wished that I never would've told him that I would talk to you? Wished that I had just kept walking instead? This would've never happened to you if I would've just kept walking and minded my own business." She finished and sobbed, unconsciously rubbing where the marred marks were on his waist through his boxers.

He shivered at her touch, but did not turn away. "Alex, look at me." He felt her shake her head. "Please, look at me." And this time, he was on the verge of tears. You could hear it in his voice and Alex unconsciously clenched onto him tighter.

She was about to say something to him when she felt a tear fall from his face and land on her own. She quickly pulled away from him.

"No, Bobby, please don't cry."

"I can't help it. When you're upset, I'm upset. I mean, Jesus Alex, look at all I've…I've put you through. I am so sorry."

"None of this would've happened if I just wouldn't walked away from him. Do you know how many times I've thought about this? It was all hanging in the balance, all in my hands, and I chose the wrong thing."

"No, Alex. You didn't. I needed to know, I had to know. Frank would've found a way to get a hold of me anyway. And I don't regret doing it either…I don't regret going into Tates."

"Look at all the people you helped by doing so." She whispered.

"And look what it did to the one person I love. It ended up hurting her the most by doing so."

"Bobby?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold me tonight? Please."

His eyes sparkled with love. He couldn't recall anyone ever asking him to do that for them simply out of comfort.

"There's nothing I'd rather do." He murmured and turned on his back and pulled her to him.

After a few minutes of silence, Bobby asked, "Alex, you know I would do anything for you, right?"

"I know, Bobby. I know." She answered into his shirt.

"You know I am sorry for all of this, right?" He didn't wait for her reply. "You know if I could, I'd take away all of your pain…but instead, I've done the opposite." And that's when Alex pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. "Instead, you've taken all of my pain, all of the burden away from me, and by some grace of god, Alex, you've—"

"I've carried it for you." She said and stroked the side of his face. He nodded. "And I always will, Bobby, if you'll do the same for me."

He began to protest. "But that's unfair to you, Alex." And then, "Always, Alex. I'll carry all your pain in a bag next to my heart if you ask me to. I want to be there for you, Alex. You've always been there for me…but I've never been there for you…not like this."

Oh god, he doesn't know. He doesn't think he was. I knew I should've told him sooner.

"Bobby, you have. I remember so vividly when I was in the hospital after I was found..." She looked up at him. "You were there with me. I woke up some nights, I never told you, I never let on, but I know you stayed there throughout the nights with me. All of them. Every time I woke up from a nightmare, I squeezed you're hand because I knew mine was placed in yours." She saw his eyes widen. "Bobby, I never thanked you for that. You have no idea what that meant to me. To feel safe when I woke up from a nightmare because I knew that if I turned to my left, you would be there."

"I found myself wanting to die because of that." He faintly whispered. "And please don't tell me not to feel like that, Alex, because it hurt me so fucking bad to watch you lay in a hospital bed. I couldn't help but feel that way. And it hurt so severely because I knew that that was the reason why I couldn't tell you how I felt. It was like it was mocking me. I wanted to so badly, but I didn't for those reasons."

"Bobby?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"What for?" He weakly asked into her hair.

"For everything: for sticking with this, for sticking with me and most importantly, for not dying on me." She swallowed hard. "Because I wouldn't have survived it."

And he nodded because he felt the same way about her.

He cradled her into his body as close as he could and that's how they both fell asleep not thirty minutes later.

A/N: Thanks for reading!

-Snyder-