Let me open up this story by reminding you all that, there are in fact people who haven't updated for longer than I have ... :)

RECAP : Ed and Mustang get into a shrink-ray fight, and Riza is most unimpressedest, so they flee under the couch . . . what an awesome sounding story.

Chapter 5 - Enter Al

Heavy footsteps sounded down the hallway of Eastern HQ, people turning to stare after the massive figure passing by.

Alphonse hummed a familiar tune, which he couldn't seem to get out of his head, while smiling politely at a passing woman.

His humming faultered a bit as he thought of the full-fledged tantrum awaiting him. . . as per usual. The probability rate was very high. . .

'Think happy thoughts, Al. Happy thoughts!' This seemed to work well, as Al blindly walked down the hall in a daze, in a land filled with cute little kitties, floating flowers, and lots of Eds and Mustangs exsisting together in harmony.

His happy place was abruptly and rudely interrupted when a loud clang rang in the air. Al blinked, (Ah, well, would have blinked) and looked around dazedly, and saw nothing.

That was, until he heard a moan, and a muffled curse - a very exotic one. Al looked down to see who was sprawled on the ground with a pretty impressive bump forming on their forehead.

"2nd Lieutenant Havoc?" Al stared at him for a few moments in confusion. "What are you doing down there?"

"Al!" Havoc moaned again in a whiny voice. "What the hell are you made of - Oh; my head, my goddamn head!" Havoc proved his point by cupping his head in both of his hands.

"Ah...steel," Al answered.

Havoc scrunched his eyes up, looking up at the towering, steel figure looming above him. "Uh, yeah. . . forgot about that. . ."

. . .

Havoc stood up very promptly, as if remembering something. "I wouldn't go that way if I were you, Al!" He shouted over his shoulder as he sprinted/stumbled off, rather cuncussedly.

"Wha- why?" Al shouted after him, but was awarded with silence.

It was then that Al noticed all the people running the opposite direction from which he was taking, some pushing past him as they went.

'How rude!' Al huffed indignantly, and started to walk against the tide of panicked people.

As the mob thinned, the deadly silence became apparent, that seemed to be leaking from down the corridor. . .

Al 's pace faltered. 'It feels . . . so' - "Evil. . ." he whispered the last word out loud, and then gasped in horror. "Brother!"

Al ran down the corridor, his pounding feet a sharp contrast against the Silence, (Yes, it now has a capital) before stopping very abruptly in front of the door leading into Colonel Mustang's office. He hesitantly leaned in closer to the door.

No sound.

Al just managed to stop a squeal from slipping out as a loud bang was heard from behind the closed doors.

"D-deep b-breath, Al. Y-you c-c-an do t-this. . .B-brother's in t-trouble. . .j-just open i-it . . ."

Mustering up his strength, Al reached out his gloved hand, resting it against the door.

And knocked.

When there was no answer, Al reached deep down inside of himself for the hidden reserves of his bravery, and timidly opened the door, peeking his head through the gap. It was definitely too dangerous to enter unknown territory without extreme caution.

. . .

...There was Lt. Hawkeye.

...There was a suspicious looking couch trembling in the middle of the room.

...And there was a gun.

She acknowledged him with a nod without turning to face him. "Hello, Alphonse."

The tin can shifted nervously as he entered the room. "U-uh, Lieutenant," Al greeted. "Do you know where brother is?"

"Yes, Alphonse. I do."

Before he could inquire to the whereabouts of his brother, there was a high pitched shriek that emanated from . . . the couch.

'It's finally happened,' Al thought serenely as he stared blankly at a blur of red, black and yellow heading straight for him. 'I've gone mad.'

"AAAAALLL!"

Ed nearly cried with joy when he realised his brother; his sweet, lovely, beautiful little brother was there. To save him! With that thought in mind, he leaped up from his hideout underneath the couch, and ran straight to his sweet, lovely, beautiful, wonderful little brother.

As soon as Ed reached him, he grabbed onto Al's leg and started to clamber up it until he reached his chestplate, flung it open and jumped inside.

"Run, Al! Run!" Ed cried as he flung his hand out to close the plate behind him, but was stopped when another hand appeared to stop him.

"Wait, Fullmetal!" Mustang cried. "What have I ever done to merit you abandoning me!" An incredulous look from Ed. "...Shut up!"

He had followed Edward, seeing this as the best survival option, and now found himself clinging to Alphonse's leg for dear life by using his own, while his hands were trying to force Edward from closing his only escape route to freedom.

Ed pulled back on the plate. "Sorry, Colonel - it's too late for you!"

"No it's not! I'm too young to die! Too young and handsome! This isn't fair!" Mustang grappled back, starting a full-on tug of war.

"He's my brother!"

"People would miss me more!"

"Like who, Colonel Bastard! Who could miss-"

"LET ME IN!"

'Yep,' Al thought, staring straight ahead expressionlessly. 'Definitely gone ca-razy.'

Riza watched as her superior ran out from under the couch, shortly followed by her other superior. She watched as her superiors fought over her superior's brother. She watched as her superiors argued about who would be missed the most, and who was more superior.

She sighed. She clicked the safety on, and tucked it into the pouch on her hip. She walked past her superiors and her superior's brother. She closed the door behind her and walked down the hall, which was starting to become inhabited again - people sensing the impending doom feeling had all but disappeared, and cautiously went back about their businesses again.

She had another pile of paperwork to collect to add to an even bigger pile of paperwork, which had Colonel Mustang's name on it.

But, until then, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye was in need of her well deserved lunchbreak.

It wasn't until a while later that matters were resolved.

Al had realised that maybe he wasn't as crazy as he had previously thought, that role being fulfilled by his brother and the Colonel.

So said, two people had finally noticed (after a lengthy 'debate' on who should live) that danger had been aborted.

So said, two people then saw this as an opportunity to go back to trying to shrink each other, until Al confiscated the 'cause of this whole mess'.

I can say pretty surely that I will have the next chapter out sooner than last time. I'm reeeeeealy sorry about how long it took, and may I suggest that if anyone is having trouble with updating, to then dare someone that if you do not get the next chapter up within a certain period of time (I said a week) that you shall owe them a tenner. Trust me. It really works.