Tainted: Hello peeps! We have reached the middle of twenty reviews!

Itachi: About time. When will I get any screen time?

Tainted: You did. Well..didn't you?

Itachi: I had enough of this. Now drop the act before I stare at you to death with my sharingan.

Tainted: Do your worst! (Blocks the evil glare with a spoon) Hahhaha! I am invincible!

Itachi: (Gets hit by beam and falls over in pain.) Kuh. This isn't over yet..

Just Add Water!

Chapter Six: Little red riding hood

It was lights out in the jail of cell of a certain black neko with red eyes. He didn't like being here for the food was lousy and an evil man wearing a black bandanna wrapped around his head will yell at him twenty four seven. Not only did the feline not understand what this human was talking about, he didn't get how he ended up being stuck here in the first place. The last thing he could remember was waking up from a cat nap and getting stolen by his current mistress.

Even though he didn't feel like calling her a mistress, she still felt special. Deep in the cat's heart he knows that the pink haired girl didn't mean to give him away to the busty blond haired woman. If only he could think a little more clearly except that the lack of oxygen claimed his insides.

'Shit, this is too much. I don't know how I got my self into this mess..' Thought the feline. His fake red eyes widened at the sight of another kitty sitting from beyond the bars. On the outside of his prison was another cat. It was almost like looking at him self directly through the mirror.

'A-are you my twin?' Questioned the cat in shock.

The other cat, a compete replica minus it's large body frame, didn't reply. He stared deeper into the other tom's orbs before squeezing through the bars like a snake, ending up in the cat carrier. Said neko moved back deeper into his cave trying to escape from the older cat's grasp.

He couldn't move any where and stood his ground. 'Yo, I didn't do anything to you. In fact, it's all your fault that I'm in here.'

Mr. Kitty sat on his paws. 'Indeed. Mind telling me why your trapped in a crate?'

'Cause I'm a cat. Duh..' It said with a role of it's fake red eyes. Saigai moved back further when Itachi inched closer to him. 'Woah. I didn't mean to do it..'

'Enough ramble. I am here to explain something to you.'

Saigai unrolled his body calmly. He seemed to relax at the tone of the older neko's voice. 'Sure. Not like it will do me any good. I'm always taken back to the shelter..'

'This is not an animal shelter. But a mere jail for prisoners who commit terrible crimes frowned upon by the councilmen.'

He cocked his head to the side in confusion. 'Huh? Criminal?' and started cracking up. 'Heh, I'm no criminal. Just a cat who doesn't like to live by the rules.'

Saigai heard the elder cat sign deeply. 'Anything wrong?'

'You have been framed.' Mewed the black cat. 'The woman you were taken by your will was the hokage of this said village. Instead of taking me to jail, she has mistaken me for you and put you in this unruly cage.' He explained carefully.

Itachi felt the other cat's eyes on him. 'Your telling me that I wasn't suppose to be in here?'

'Yes. You are merely a diversion until the curse on me vanishes from out of my system.'

'Tee hee. Did you just say curse? There is no such thing as living by the rules of the cat and being cursed at the same time.'

'Well there has been one placed on me. Whether you believe it or not, this has something to do with you.'

Itachi was right. Saigai would have never found a temporary home in his new mistress's house. Thanks to Itachi, he got lifted out of the hell hole called animal shelter and found a place called home. Now if only he would be able to go back to that said home. For now he would have to play by his rules..

While the smaller cat struggled with what to say next, Itachi vanished from inside the crate not leaving behind a single strand of cat hair. Once he left out of the prison, the kuroneko wandered the streets at night by following the street lights back to the little kunoichi's house. He looked around lazily, scanning his surroundings and caught note of an open flap from the front door.

Itachi took a few steps passed the lawn up to the steps and stood there on all fours. 'Was this built for the disaster warning?'

Suddenly, the door busted open revealing feet from across him. "Mou, Ita-kun. What are you doing out here?" Questioned the female. "Your food was about to track flies but I had a hunch that you were still outside." She stated. A smirk formed on her face. "Good thing I went to the door huh?"

The black cat ignored her rant, and swept past her feet into the house. Sakura cocked her head to the side muttering, 'baka neko' to her self and went back inside the complex and moved towards the back of the place heading into the kitchen. Her father was nowhere to be found only leaving Itachi as the active being in the house.

'Scratch that, being turned kitty. Have you found an antidote for him yet?'

'No. I can't until he tells me what's really wrong with him.'

'Well, it's not too difficult to figure out..' Trailed inner. 'Perhaps the elder Uchiha got into a brawl with Neko baa-chan and got turned into a kitty for bad behavior. I mean, she did know the Uchiha back then before their demise, right?''

Inner listened in on nothing but silence..

'Right? A little feedback would be nice you know..'

Sakura was busy staring at the cat while he ate his dinner and snapped out from her trance. 'What is it?'

Hmm, how long did it take you to answer me back? A couple centuries..

'What? I was busy baby sitting the cat.'

'That damn Uchiha doesn't need babysitting. What he really needed was his wiener cut off for what he did to Sasuke-teme.'

'What was that all about? And it's Sasuke-kun, not Sasuke-teme.'

What ever. I never liked the dweeb. Anyways, we should talk to neko baa-chan. Maybe she has something to say about this.

'Fine. But in the morning because I'm really sleepy.'

'Fine. Go to sleep. Night night..'

-Next day-

Sakura awoke to the sound of nails scrapping against the walls. She covered her ears with her hands and narrowed those special green eyes of her's at the perpetrator that made those awful sounds. Settled to the east side of the room was a black cat messing up the walls that protect the Haruno family from tornadoes and rough rain fall.

While she sent a death glare towards the cat, he ignored her and kept going. "Shut up!" She roared, while tossing a pillow at him.

Itachi ducked his head from the upcoming blow and turned around staring at a giant hole through the wall. Her father was at the other side rubbing his eye lids and started shouting at his daughter asking why the house was so cold today. Sakura tuned her father out and started to get ready for the day.

He realized that the female was stripping for him. "Ew, ew. I-incest. I'm not watching this.."

"You know, you can just hide under the sheets if you want."

"Why? It's cold and there's a daft coming through it." He replied stubbornly. The man flipped the sheets off his body and quickly got out of bed. "Never mind that, I'm leaving right now."

The girl chucked at her father as he ran out the room blocking his view with his hands out of her sight. Once Sakura finished stripping, she moved down the carpet floor into the bathroom and took a long steamy bath. Her eyes narrowed when the curtains moved to the left and a black cat was at the bottom of the tub.

A sign escaped from her lips, "Okay Mr. Kitty. You can bathe with the human." and bent down lightly pushing the kitten into her bathing area. She didn't pay attention when a large dusty cloud erupted through out the narrow unit.

Said naked man was standing before her. The rubber band that was used to tie down his hair was gently floating with the water below his feet. Itachi needed to talk with the kunoichi about last night. He didn't really give a damn whether her father could her the conversation through these pathetic termite riddled walls. This was serious business..

"Are you finished with staring at me?"

Itachi smirked and kept staring. "No, why would not resist staring down an annoying cherry blossom?"

"Figures.." She scowled and leaned on the wall. "I'm quite bothered by the fact of giving away Saigai to Tsunade-sama."

"Don't bother. I told him already about our problem.."

Her eye blinked. "Really?" She questioned in shock.

'Wahahaha! The Uchiha can speak cat? That's hilarious!' Laughed inner.

'I know isn't that hu- Wait a minute.. Maybe we really can talk to Neko baa-chan!'

'Great. That's if he really want's to go..'

'I'll try and reason with him.'

Sakura stopped talking with inner self and watched the giant weasel bathe himself. He seemed content with his bare skin showing, plus outer private parts (Omg, I'm so perverted right now! D:) were exposed in the air and defying gravity. This observation of the opposite sex was intriguing for the pinkette. She could tell that he has been lifting weights by the ripeness of his chest while it was being cloaked by soap. This was all so fascinating and should be a private study for her;

Staring and planing to rape the naked man should have been her top priority by now. After all, she isn't twelve years old any more. But at the same time, ever since being left on the cold bench by that stupid teme has made her vulnerable. So she has now decided to get a man that cannot or ever get away with what.

Iner starred foaming at the mouth. 'Mmm, what a body..'

'Yeah..'

'What would happen if we start having steamy sex in the water?'

'Well first, it would be magically in tuned with our needs to sex up our selves.. Wait a minute, quit brain washing me!'

'Ha ha! You said wash!'

"Kunoichi."

"Y-yes sexy-sama?"

Itachi was quite amused at his new nick name. "Are you finished with staring at me?"

Sakura's face went red like a tomato. "N-no?.."

'Oooh! Your gonna get it now!'

'Why? I can't help it if he's so damn gorgeous in the shower.'

'Yeah. Now all we need is for him to do it again amongst the cameras.'

"Sakura."

"Hm?"

"If you want to go to Neko baa's to ask something about my curse.." He trailed steadily. Sakura looked deeper into his hazy black orbs and he did the same. "Then get out before you turn into a box of prunes. You have been standing in the shower forever."

Speaking of showers, he wasn't in any of them. Only the pink haired kunoichi was. She felt embarrassed and used when her naked body was getting cold by the second from the sudden hot air decreasing from all around the room. The shower head wasn't on and neither was the hot air that was used to decongestant your throat.

Sakura didn't dare to let the tears cascade down from her face. She silently put her foot out onto the mat, and then another, and left out the room in a blue towel. The kunoichi entered her room and found Itachi on the bed. He was using the other colored towel as pants for his lower area.

It seemed like the elder Uchiha was waiting for her to say something back to him. But it never came. So the man held back the curse from taking over his form and kept the rest of his attention on the kunoichi who has let him hang out in her house. While he waited patiently for Sakura to get dressed so they could leave, something in the back of his mind was itching him. Or maybe, more like a group of somebodies he has almost slightly forgotten..

He could picture them now, weeping and violently complaining about the lose of their faithful member. Without his powerful sharingan, the Akatsuki would be rendered useless. Then out of nowhere, a thought claimed him. Since his kekkki genkai has left the building, wouldn't they need another?

"Outou-chan will be sought out next.." Itachi said aloud, filled with wonder.

The pinkette was by her dresser. "What did you just say?" and frowned when Itachi turned back into a kitty.

Sakura signed deeply then grew still. "Wait a minute.. now everything makes sense.." and turned towards the black cat. "Is there any more of you?"

Said kitty was calm and nodded slowly.

She freaked out. "Aw, there's more fluffys?" and began crying. "What if their dying or are stuck in a tree?"

Itachi shrugged and made his way towards the door. Sakura blocked him from running away. She looked away towards the drawer and found a squirt bottle. Said pinkette ran towards it just in time before he scurried away out of the room and sprayed it at the black kitty.

He turned back to normal. "What do you want kunoichi?"

"Have you any clue where the rest of the Akatsuki went?"

The man's eyes narrowed. "I have no clue to where they are. This happened a few days after my death so I can't fully explain the entire details."

"ugh, your hopeless..." She groaned. A light bulb went off above her head. "I got it. Let's travel to each of their home villages and take them back with us." The pinkette smiled, ending her sentence. Soon a frown emitted on her face. "Um.. hello? Aren't you going to disagree with me?"

"I don't know. What ever floats you boat."

'You can float my boat any time!' Smirked inner.

"Your inner child is a pervert."

Sakura gave the man, 'Omg, you can scan into my mind?' look and wandered away out the room. She came back with a basket.

"Here climb into this."

Itachi frowned at this. "I am not sitting in a bask-" and reverted back into a kitty before finishing his sentence. Sakura squealed like a little school girl and slid on the floor taking Itachi by the scruff of his neck and placed him in the basket.

"There! You are in the basket and there's nothing you could do about it!" Raged the kunoichi.

Once she got the feline in her round basket, Sakura traveled around the house placing items in her travel bag and came back into the main room then went on her way out the door. She only took a few steps out into the outside world and went back inside shivering like a mother fucker.

"Shit. It's cold as hell outside.." cursed the kunoichi. Her eyes traveled around the room and she came across a red hood. "Ah, that would work." and wrapped it around her body then left out the house closing the door behind her. "La di da da da.."

-In Konoha-

Sakura skipped across the village with a red hood blocking her face from the rest of the world. She kept stopping to check if Itachi was getting sick from being rocked air born while she skipped titling the basket in odd positions. He was doing good so far, and she resumed acting like a poor defenseless girl heading for the hokage tower.

Once she reached the street near the tower, a few boys stopped to ogle and try and talk to her. Which wasn't working because they kept hearing hearty growls coming from beyond the picnic basket the girl was carrying. Most of the boys fled from it's evil grasp allowing Sakura to continue on her quest to find more nekos.

She passed Ichiraku and froze when a loud voice echoed across the village. "SAKURAAAAA-CHAN!"

On cue, she ran like hell and fell over when a black and orange blur was on top of her. (Think of it like when Tigger tackles Pooh to the ground when he meets her.) The blob started nuzzling her chest and looked at her with the most bluest confused eyes she has ever seen.

"Mou, what's with the red cloak?" He asked cutely. "You aren't starting up a gang like the Akatsuki, right?"

"You know what? That's not a bad idea.." She responded in complete awe.

"Well can I join? I can already think of the objective for us. Unlike those evil Aka people, we save the people were protecting. Including the other jinchurki and I can help because I'm a jinchuriki and we will be unstoppable because I'm a jinchukrii!"

"Mmm, you said jinchuriki over three times." She pointed out in boredom.

"Oh. But it's still a great idea. Let's tell Tsunade baa-chan about this!"

With that, Naruto grabbed his friend by the hand and lead them towards the tower. Once they reached there, Tsunade was puzzled by this.

"So, you want to make an anti-terrorist organization?"

"Noo, this is top secret. No other ninja can join except the ones that have seen their uprising over the past few years." Explained the dobe. "Unlike the Akatsuki, are purpose is to save people and bring actual peace. Isn't that right Sakura-chan?"

"Yeah." Nodded the kunoichi. "Even though it sounds a little off from the one we rehearsed about."

"I see.. well, there will be some discussion going on about the decision. In the mean time, I have some glorious news about the Itachi being a kitty scenario."

Sakura started unloading sweat from her face.

'Oh no, maybe Saigai told the interrogation team about Itachi..'

'I hope he didn't! This story is getting good for the readers!'

"Mind telling us now? Fill us in on all the details Tsunade baa-chan." Grinned the blond.

"Well, just last night we caught somebody sneaking into the jail cell where Itachi was stationed in. Judging by the information given to us, we found ourselves the culprit."

Sakura felt relieved by the sudden information. She could still rest peacefully for another day..

"That's good. Now do you have any strong urges for unobtainable sake?"

"Why yes I do."

"Great. Can I retrieve them for you?"

Tsunade grew silent for a while and looked around the room. There was no sign of Shizune screaming over her shoulder or Ton Ton resting underneath the desk.

She switched her attention back to Sakura. "Go find me Tokubetsu Honjōzō-shu."

Naruto's face got twisted. "W-what did you just say?"

"I'll take it." Sakura said quickly. She pulled on Naruto's hand towards the door. "This way Naruto-kun.."

He we go to the land of the rice..

We shall go, we shall go

To get drunk and laid, we shall go!

To the land of rice!

Here we go!

I'm quite please with the way I'm going with this story. Six chapter already? Eeehee, I'm on a roll! There might be one more update for March, or maybe I'll postpone it to April. Either way, another chapter is in the works! By the way, it might take a few more chapters until the Akatsuki arrives. Who knows, maybe there will be some appearances in the land of rice. Reviews are nice and tell me how well I am doing. Or not.. See you later. ^^