Chapter Fourteen
What… what's going on? Where am I?
Everything around me was a bright, blinding white. I twisted and turned frantically, trying to find something – anything – to give me some perspective, but there was nothing but the vast expanse of… whiteness.
Where am I?
Familiar voices were talking – I could hear them, but barely, as if they were speaking underwater. And so far away…
"…expected to make a full recovery…"
"…said it's a miracle she hasn't sustained any more injuries…"
"…grateful she's alive…"
"I want to talk to my daughter! Now!"
"She'll wake up when she's ready…"
The voices suddenly started moving, getting farther and farther away from me. I strained, trying to concentrate, willing myself to stay, but it was so hard. I was so tired…
Yes, when I'm ready…
Then there was nothing but the white, endless burning bright light, and I surrendered to it, letting myself fall back into the nothingness and white noise.
I woke to darkness, which was like being doused in cold water after the overwhelming white. Something was different this time, though – I could feel things. This wasn't just taking place in my mind – I was back in the physical world, for real.
It took me a minute to realize that the darkness was behind my eyes, not in front of them – that I was conscious, but my eyes were still closed. Struggling, I tried to open them, but they suddenly weighed a thousand tons. No matter how hard I tried, they remained, stubbornly, closed.
Desperation pooled off me in puddles big enough to swim in. I was not going back to that never-ending white. With all the strength I could muster, I focused on getting my eyelids to open. Every cell ached with the effort, but I refused to give up. At last, I felt my eyelashes flutter, and then slowly, my eyes blinked open, taking in my surroundings.
"Alyssa?" I turned to see Lola, draped over an uncomfortable-looking plastic chair in what seemed to be a sleeping position. Her hazel eyes were sleepy, but when they noticed mine were open, they shot up so fast I wouldn't have believed it was possible. "A-Are you really awake?"
"Ngh– yeah." I rubbed my eyes, an enormous yawn overtaking my mouth. "What… what happened to me?"
Lola didn't seem to hear me, or if she did, she didn't bother responding. Immediately, she whipped out her phone and jabbed at buttons lightning-fast, yelling, "She's awake! Alyssa's awake! Everyone, get your butts in here ASAP!"
I chuckled slightly under my breath, pulling myself into a sitting position as best as I could, considering the way my muscles ached and groaned with every movement. A somewhat funny memory of trying to get up the morning after my party, stricken with the worst hangover in the history of the world (or at least, that's how it felt!), flashed through my mind, followed by a startling, sobering thought.
"What day is this?" I asked Lola, panic starting to creep into the edges of my voice. Time was meaningless in the white void, so I had no way of knowing how long I had been there, and the blinds on the hospital room window were drawn shut, giving me no glimpses to the outside world or clues to the time of day.
"Late Sunday evening," Lola said, noticing the panicked expression on my face. "You've been out for the better part of the day, but it wasn't a true coma, the doctors said." Then she changed tacks. "You really scared us, 'Liss. When Faragonda found you, she said your powers were almost completely drained, that she could see your life force slipping away. We all thought you were going to die."
I swallowed, her words painting a mental picture that was anything but pretty. (It made me very glad I'd been passed out at the time.) "You're here," I said suddenly, memories of the events before my accident rushing back at full speed. "You're here, in the hospital – worried, about me. But just last night you all but said you hated me, and walked out of my birthday ball."
Lola paled. Her color returned shortly, but the guilt never left her eyes. "We all said a lot of things we didn't mean last night," she said finally, coming over to sit on the side of my bed. "But… you're the closest thing I have to a sister, 'Liss. And seeing you, so close to death – I couldn't imagine my life without you in it." Tears glittered in the corners of her eyes, sparkling in the harsh fluorescent lights.
I reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing tightly. For the first time, I noticed that her usually impeccably manicured fingernails – still in a bright fuchsia-pink, to match her party dress – were chipping and ragged, the nails showing telltale signs of biting and the cuticles picked raw. "You're like my sister too, L."
"And Sleeping Beauty finally awakens!" Mel exclaimed, immediately filling the room with her usual vibrant energy the second she set foot inside. "Welcome back to the land of the living, 'Liss." Aqua filed in behind her, Dee and Ivy clustering in front of the bed.
"It's good to be back, trust me," I joked, propping myself up higher on the pillows and smiling at my friends. I was relieved to see nothing but relief and gratitude on their faces; clearly, they were in agreement with Lola on the we-all-said-things-we-didn't-mean-last-night thing. (And the near-death experience didn't hurt, I'm sure.) I ran my fingers through my hair a couple times, acutely aware of how much of a mess I must've looked like. "Hey, aren't we missing someone? Where's Miriam?"
Beside me, Lola tensed, while Mel and Aqua exchanged a look of mixed horror and pity. Ivy's eyes widened. Dee's jaw clenched.
And in my fractured memory, another piece fell into place, and I inhaled sharply as the truth came back to me, hitting like a tidal wave.
"Your precious Miriam is my cousin… She's been working for me this whole year… Sorry to burst your bubble, but she's not your friend."
I saw Lola take a deep breath and open her mouth, starting to say something. But thankfully, at that exact moment, my mom whooshed into the room, cutting off all other conversation completely. "Alyssa, sweetheart, you're awake!" she exclaimed, rushing to my side, throwing her arms around my neck, and squeezing me tightly.
I buried my face in her hair, inhaling the crisp cucumber-and-green-apple notes of her… perfume? This was certainly a change from the practically comatose state I had left her in this morning. When she released me, I saw almost no trace of the heartbroken woman who'd cried herself to sleep on the kitchen floor in last night's party dress. She was showered and dressed, looking a lot more put-together than I did, I assumed, in her dark jeans, high-heeled boots, and a deep purple cowl-neck sweater. Her hair was blown out and straightened, there was a trace amount of makeup on her heart-shaped face, and she was even wearing jewelry – a pair of big silver hoop earrings.
"You've really got to stop doing this, sweetheart," she said, shaking her finger at me in mock anger, her eyes shining with real sadness. "The hospital staff are starting to know us by name."
Despite everything, I couldn't help but laugh. "It's not like I wouldn't rather be anywhere else," I replied, my voice getting stuck in my throat a couple times. I reached for her hand, resting on the bed rail, and squeezed it tightly. She looked down, then smiled and squeezed back.
"How's the most accident-prone girl in all of the realms?" My eyes bugged as I heard a familiar deep voice make its' presence known, but they just about popped out of my head as Dad came to stand behind Mom, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him. "Bloom, why didn't you tell me she was awake?"
"You didn't get Lola's message?" Mom blinked, then her expression changed into more of a teasing tone. "Oh yes, you refuse to carry a cell phone."
"The two most important people in my life, I can contact through Dragon Fire telepathy. Why would I need one of those infernal devices?"
Mom laughed. "You and your stubborn, old-fashioned ways." She twisted her body so she was facing him and reached up to give him a long, deep kiss.
This entire exchange was making my head spin. "Will someone please tell me what's going on here?" I demanded finally, feeling like I was going to explode if I didn't get some answers soon. "This morning, you two were about to split up, and now you're acting like nothing ever happened. What is the deal?"
Dad's eyes flickered with an indescribable emotion. "Girls, can you give us some privacy, please?" he asked, motioning to my friends, clustered at the foot of my bed and against the wall. "There are some things that Bloom and I would like to talk about with Alyssa, as a family."
Lola took the hint. "Come on, girls," she said, turning on her heel towards the door. "We should get some food."
"I'm not eating hospital cafeteria slop," Mel insisted, as she followed Lola out the door, the others trailing along behind her.
When Dee's bright pink bob had disappeared from sight, Dad got up and closed the door, while Mom pulled up a chair next to my bedside. "Do you need anything, honey?" Mom asked, taking my hand again. "Some water, food, painkillers, more blankets…"
"What I need is some answers," I snapped, yanking my hand away from hers. She paled, and I instantly felt bad, but at the same time, I knew I was justified in being upset. Why did it seem like my parents always kept so many secrets from me? "Why did you send my friends away? What do you have to tell me that couldn't be said in front of them?" A heavy dark mass gathered in the pit of my stomach as I awaited their answer.
"Alyssa, patience is a virtue," Dad chided. walking over to lean against the railing next to Mom.
"I deserve some answers here! What happened to me? Why did I lose consciousness? Where is Taylor now? And what the hell is going on with you two?"
"Your powers were overexerted in that final attack, the one that subdued Taylor," Mom started slowly. "They were almost completely drained by the time we got you here. You have a broken leg and a few cracked ribs, although with the wonders of medicinal magic, you won't be nearly as debilitated as you might have been if we were on, say, Earth. The nurses said you'll have to take it easy for a while, but they guaranteed us you'll be back to full health within a few weeks' time."
"And Taylor?"
"Was taken away, kicking and screaming, in power-inhibitor cuffs," Dad drawled, sounding like the cat that had got the canary. "That is, she was kicking and screaming once she woke up. You knocked her out pretty good, sweetheart. I'd say I'm proud of you, but your mother would probably slap me."
Mom rolled her eyes, and, true to form, whacked him lightly on the shoulder. Dad chuckled and kissed her forehead.
"Now what is going on between the two of you?" I demanded. "Please tell me you're not splitting up."
A tense, awkward silence filled the room, dragging on for what seemed like hours (although in all honesty, it was probably just like thirty seconds). "No, we are not," Mom said finally, and I let out the breath I hadn't even realized I'd been holding.
"Thank God," I sighed. "So this morning has been totally forgiven and forgotten?"
"That's a little bit too much to ask for," Dad remarked wryly, coming to stand behind Mom in her plastic chair. "I'm not letting this one get off that easily–" he swatted Mom playfully on the shoulder "but I did realize that I grossly overreacted this morning. What can I say – I don't like sharing the things I care about, and the fact that it was Sky certainly didn't help any." He scowled briefly, and Mom reached up and squeezed his hand. "But when I got the call that you were in the hospital… You and your mother are my world, Alyssa, and this made me realize just how much I need both of you. I'm more sorry than you can possibly imagine that I let jealousy blind me to that fact."
"In your father's defense, I was partially at fault for this, too," Mom admitted, interlocking her fingers with Dad's. "I should've seen the signs, should've known that Sky might try something like this." She sighed. "Nothing's been swept under a rug by any means, but we're going to survive. The two of us have faced much bigger obstacles than this, after all."
"So… what are you going to do about Sky?" I asked Mom, biting my bottom lip.
Dad's eyes narrowed slightly, and I saw his grip on Mom's fingers tighten. If she noticed, she didn't appear affected. "I don't know. Something has to be done; it's not like I can just leave everything hanging out there like this, what with you and Ryan and all. But I'll figure it out later. Right now, I just want to put this whole thing behind us." She let go of Dad's hand, sighing almost wistfully."Poor guy. It's almost sweet, how he's carried a torch for me for so long. But there's a reason we didn't work out in high school – he's just not my type."
"Oh, really? And what is this type, then, pray tell?" Dad teased, all traces of his previous anger gone.
"Powerful dark wizards with hearts that match their eyes," she responded easily, tilting her head backwards to meet his lips in a kiss. I averted my eyes as the kiss went on and on, until I eventually had to throw my pillow at them.
"You guys! Hello, sick daughter still in the room?" Dad laughed and threw the pillow back at me. "So that's it, then? Is that what was such a big deal to tell me – that you're not splitting up?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mom freeze, her mouth set in a tense line. "Yes," Dad said, shooting her a look. "That's all."
"But Baltor–"
"Not now, Bloom," he said, addressing Mom. "We should let her rest. Now's not the right time."
Right time for what? I wondered. I was about to protest, when something in my mind connected with him having said "rest" and alerted me to the fact that I was suddenly exhausted. Unable to fight it, I let out an enormous yawn.
"Get some rest, honey," Mom said finally, reaching out to smooth some of my hair. "We'll be right here when you wake up, and then you can go back to Alfea and see your friends."
Yawning again, I nodded, then slumped down onto the pillow. My eyes closing gratefully, I descended back into the darkness, this time unafraid of what might be waiting for me on the other side.
I paused at the threshold of my room, almost afraid to step inside. It was the next day – a Monday, so classes were going on, but I had been given permission from Faragonda to skip, due to my "extenuating circumstances". (Sounded like an awfully sugarcoated way of putting things, but whatever.) After being kept overnight for "observation" and put through a ridiculous amount of tests, I'd finally been released from the hospital an hour ago.
Mom had offered to let me stay at home for a few days, to recuperate, but I'd insisted I was well enough to go back to Alfea. Mostly, I just didn't know how well I'd function sitting around the palace all day, all by myself, with no one to talk to but my parents. Yes, Alfea was by far the better option, despite the rumor mill that had to be cranking out of control by now.
Yet now that I was actually here, standing in the common area, hand frozen over the door handle, I was starting to rethink the 'brilliance' of my plan.
Because somehow, I had forgotten to factor Miriam into my decision.
In all the craziness surrounding the aftermath of my fight with Taylor, I'd barely had any time to think about the bombshell she'd dropped before we'd started hurling magic at each other. But now, all alone with my thoughts, there was nothing but time.
I couldn't help rethinking everything – replaying every encounter in my head, kicking myself for not catching times when she looked guilty or worried or suspicious. For not believing Lola, Aqua, and Mel when they'd tried to tell me something was off about her. For failing to catch the signs myself – especially that goddamn phone call!
In hindsight, of course, it was glaringly obvious. How had I ever trusted her? Why had I been so stupid, so quick to take her side over my other friends? She must've been tickled pink when they all ditched me at my party – perfect opening for Taylor to swoop in. At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised to find out that she had manipulated Sky into kissing Mom – she would know him, after all, being his niece – or brought Alexa to Alfea specifically to break up my relationship with Ryan.
And now there was every chance she was behind that door, her wide-eyed innocent act (how had I never seen through that?) all prepared, along with some excuse for why she hadn't been to see me in the hospital. Just the thought of seeing her again made my stomach churn.
But I couldn't very well stay frozen by the door in the common area (not the least of which the doctors had warned me against any prolonged periods of standing or putting pressure on my injured leg). So I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, opened the door, and walked into… an empty room.
Literally.
Of course, my stuff was still there, but Miriam's half of the room was completely empty. The standard Alfea twin bed was stripped of her turquoise and white bedding, her shag throw rug and vaguely cubic-looking furniture had disappeared, there were little holes in the wall where her posters used to hang, the closet was empty, her textbooks were piled in a neat stack on her desk, which was devoid of all her crap…
It was as if she had never even been here.
I stepped further into the room, still not convinced that I wasn't dreaming all of this. Cautiously, I walked towards the now-empty side of the room, examining everything thoroughly. There really was no evidence that another person had lived here for the entire year – except for the faintest lingering scent of her perfume.
I could feel a headache coming on, so I headed back over to my side of the room, collapsing onto my bed backwards with a sigh. The flowery perfume scent pervaded all of my senses, and in my mind Taylor and Miriam appeared, blurring together until they seemed to be one person.
Whatever greater power is up there must have a sick sense of humor – or just really loves playing with me.
I tried breathing deeply and clearing my mind, but sleep stubbornly refused to come. Groaning, I rolled over onto my side… and heard a crunch as I felt myself land on something.
Interest immediately peaked, I quickly shifted so I could see what it was that had made the crunch – a plain white envelope, unmarked and unsealed. It smelled like flowers.
Carefully, I opened the envelope and pulled out a sheet of paper. Scrawling across it, in rushed-looking strokes of pen, was Miriam's familiar loopy script.
My breath caught in my throat.
Dear Alyssa,
If you're reading this, it means the secret's out. So although you most likely hate me right now, there's something you need to know.
Yes, I came to Alfea with the intention of spying for Taylor. Yes, I reported things back to her. Yes, I gave her the code to the protection bubble. I'm ashamed to admit that I did these things, but it's the truth.
Why did I do it, then, if I know it was wrong? For better or for worse, Taylor is my family. And before I came to Alfea, I didn't know any better – I believed her when she twisted the truth to her advantage, told me lies about you that made her look like the victim. Now, though, I know that she's a psychopath, and seriously unhinged. That doesn't erase what I've done, but it's something.
I came to Alfea as Taylor's spy. But along the way, something unexpected happened – you and your friends took me in. I didn't lie about being home-schooled; Alfea was my first experience with being around so many other girls my age, and it was more than a little overwhelming at first. But you – you accepted me unconditionally, even when the other girls were wary (and rightly so, considering what I was here to do). You defended me fiercely, even at the expense of your other relationships. You gave me the benefit of the doubt, which is something I definitely didn't deserve.
You were the best friend I've ever had – and probably ever will have – and how did I repay you? By lying, keeping secrets, and helping my cousin try to kill you.
So now I'm going to make things right.
By the time you find this, I'll already be gone. And I'm not coming back. I don't quite know where I'll go, but I'm going to stay away. So don't go looking for me.
I'm more sorry than you can possibly imagine for playing even a small part in Taylor's crazy scheme. She's going to get everything that's coming to her, and she'll never bother you again – that I can promise you.
If I could do things over again, and erase what I did, I would do it in a heartbeat, no matter the price. You are the strongest, most kind-hearted and courageous person I've ever met, and I wish more than anything that I could deserve a friend like you.
I'll never forget you.
Love,
Miriam
What felt like the beginning of tears stung the corners of my eyes as I finished reading the letter, and I swallowed hard, reaching up to wipe them away. This… she… I…
"Knock-knock," Lola exclaimed singsong-y, poking her head through my open door. "Yoo-hoo, Alyssa, are you there?"
Hearing her voice startled me from my thoughts, and I quickly shoved the letter under my pillow. Don't ask me why I felt like I had to hide it – all I knew was at that moment, I didn't want to talk about Miriam with anyone.
"Come in!" I called, yanking my overnight bag up off the floor and starting to unpack, making it look like that was what I had been doing all along.
"There you are," she said, flouncing into the room in a pale pink tank top and pink-and-orange-and-yellow plaid short-shorts, her blond hair pulled up in a high ponytail but still managing to fly wildly behind her. "Do you need anything, sweetie? Are you hungry? I could go get you something from the cafeteria."
"I'm good for now, thanks." I shoved handfuls of clothes into my dresser drawers, not really bothering to sort things out. "How were classes?"
"Crazy," she sighed, flopping down onto my bed and sprawling across it on her stomach, her head propped up on her hands so she could watch me. "All anyone wanted to talk about was you and Taylor. Palladium lost his cool and actually threw a pen at Chloe and Nikita. It was insane."
"Sounds… interesting," I ventured.
"Did you see the latest?" At first I was confused, until Lola pointed to the vase on my nightstand. "They're pretty, aren't they?"
Abandoning interest in my unpacking, I reached out and fingered one of the petals. The vase was filled with a gorgeous arrangement of long-stemmed pink and white roses, surrounded by dark green leaves for art effect. Every single rose was thorn-less, which must've been quite expensive. "This is so sweet. Who are they from?"
Lola's eyebrows arched. "He didn't send a card, then? Well, I would've thought it would be obvious – Lover Boy's trying to make amends."
The petal I had been stroking gently suddenly found itself crushed to pieces in my palm. "These are from Ryan?"
"Duh." Lola twirled a piece of hair around her finger, bringing her legs up behind her like a little kid. "He's got good taste in flowers, I'll give him that."
"Do you want them, then? Because I don't want these things anywhere near me."
"Oh 'Liss, don't be like that. Ryan's a good guy. The thing at your party was all a misunderstanding."
"And pray tell, what gives you the authority to say that?" I stared at her disbelievingly.
"He came by the hospital while you were unconscious. To be fair, Ivy had to physically restrain Mel, but then he explained the whole thing, Dee used her little lie-detector bug thingie, and his story checks out. It was all Alexa's doing. God only knows how she weaseled her way into your party, but that's another story." Lola sat up, looking serious for the first time since she'd entered my room. "I know it's hard for you to believe, but he was really torn up about all of this. Especially since it was his sister who's now twice tried to kill you. Take him back." She grinned. "All that guilt means you'll get some pretty fabulous jewels."
"Lola!" I exclaimed, whacking her playfully on the shoulder, which sent her sprawling back across my bed.
"Just making sure you've still got a sense of humor after all this," she insisted, laughing. Her tone suddenly turned serious again. "Seriously, though, 'Liss, don't be so closed-minded. He really cares about you, and I know you care about him too. Don't let one stupid mistake ruin what was such a good thing."
I pursed my lips, already starting to feel the after-effects of such a long and trying day. "I'll… I'll think about it, Lo," I said finally, dropping down onto the bed next to her. "Right now, can you just leave me alone for a little while? I'm so, so tired."
"Of course." She hopped up and straightened the hem of her top a bit, plucking a bit of dust off her shoulder. "You gonna come down to dinner, or should I just bring you something?"
"Can you bring me something, please? I really don't want to face the masses right now." I closed my eyes and let my head loll backwards, the darkness already starting to infringe on the edges of my mind.
"Will do." She bent down and kissed my forehead gently. "I hope you feel better soon, Alyssa. We'll all be here for you whenever you're ready to talk."
"Mmm-hmm." My mind swirling with everything that had happened today – Miriam, the letter, Lola, Ryan, the flowers… – I drifted off into an uneasy sleep.