Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, I only own the characters I create like Lily, Brandon, Rue, and any others.

Pain that will never go away

Lily's POV

I woke up to the sun streaming through the window. I slowly sat up remembering the previous day. I looked over at Rue, she looked so peaceful in her sleep.

"Come on Rue, time to get up." I told her quietly. She opened her eyes slowly looking up at me.

"Lily?" she asked.

"Ya, it's me" I said quietly looking down at her. "Come on, let's go get your brother." She smiled at that. I led her down the hall to the guest room and slowly opened the door. When we saw Brandon, he was sprawled across the bed, and drooling. I couldn't help myself I burst out laughing, and Rue joined in. Brandon woke up quickly, so quickly he fell off the bed. He looked up at us with horror and confusion.

"What? Why are you guys in here?" he asked me.

"Nice sleeping" I said walking over to help him up. He looked a little relieved. "Ummm… You have some drool on your face." I told him, he practically ran to the bathroom, leaving me and Rue laughing at him as he left. I looked at her.

"Time to get ready." I told her, she looked at me, all the humor was gone from her face. I took her hand and led her back to my room. But I stopped in front of the bathroom door,

"Brandon." I said, I heard a muffled sound that sounded like he said 'huh'. "If you look for us, we'll be in my room getting ready. So knock first." I told him sternly.

"Ok" he said through the door. I laughed a little, I decided to have Rue take a bath so I could do her hair.

"Rue, go into my bathroom and take a quick shower, k?" I asked her and she nodded, I began to work on myself as I waited for her to finish getting cleaned up. I walked over to my closet and took out my Reaping dress. It was a beautiful red dress with a floral print that went to right above my knees. My aunt was a victor from District 6, she wanted me to represent her District this year, and she got her wish. I sat down and brushed out my long hair. I didn't know what to do with it. Hmmm, I looked at my desk, it was covered with beauty tools. I decided I might as well look as good as I can, so I'll curl my hair. By the time I was done with my hair, Rue had just finished up in the shower.

"Lily?" she asked me loudly running through my room to see me, "Wow, you're beautiful" she said in awe. I giggled,

"Thanks Rue, but trust me when I'm done with you no one will be looking at me." I smiled at her and she smiled back. I decided to curl her hair to. She already had beautiful natural curls in her golden blonde hair, it made her look angelic. Once I was done she was smiling brightly into the mirror, I laughed at her expression. Then I started on her makeup. She looked innocent and beautiful at the same time. I gave her a gentle smile and led her to my closet, I had a special dress for her. It was my cousin Anne's first reaping dress, it was made from red silk like mine.

Anne lived in District 12 next door to my mother and Prim, she was beautiful and strong. She used those two advantages in the Games, but she fell for her male district partner. He decided in the middle of the night, after kissing her kindly, to end her life. He ended up winning the Games, and guess what? He is my mentor this year. He is handsome and strong and is known as a player around our district. And you wanna know the worst part? He is the same age as me, his name is Devin, and I am going to avoid him as much as possible. My family has not, and will not forgive him for killing Anne.

Rue looked at the dress in awe,

"Was this yours?" she asked me quietly, I looked at her sadly.

"No, my cousin… She… She was killed in the Games, she was one of my best friends, and this was hers." Rue looked up at me tears rimming her eyes,

"What happened?" she asked carefully, I helped her put the dress on and sat down on the bed preparing to tell the story.

"Well, you know our mentor this year is Devin?" I asked, and she nodded in response, "Well, when the Games started out my cousin Anne fell in love with him. He noticed it and acknowledged it, and used it. In the Games, he used her as protection. When it came down to it he tricked her. He kissed her sweetly before she went to bed, then when she was asleep he slit her neck." I looked at Rue and tears were streaking her cheeks, I carefully wiped them away with my hand.

"That's horrible" she half screamed "she loved him, cared for him, why would he do that?" she asked me.

"I don't know, but we'll be sure to ask him." I said reassuringly, I looked up at the clock 10:03 good we still have a while till the Reaping. Rue was sniffling and I felt horrible, "I shouldn't have told you that." I said quietly as I stood and got my dress. I put it on carefully, sure to not rip the fragile fabric. I turned to see her looking at me, I was about to ask why when Brandon knocked on the door.

"What" I asked,

"Are you almost done?" he asked me.

"Ummm, sure we'll be out in a minute." I grabbed Rue's hand and walked out the door. Brandon looked at me then blinked a few times. I smiled at him and he gasped. I looked over at Rue and we burst out laughing, I looked up to see his confused expression.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked, I tried to answer but it was to hard, so I just laughed. When I finally calmed down I took Rue's hand and led her down the steps carefully. She had a ball gown, and I didn't want her to trip. Then Brandon surprised me yet again, he took my hand and walked with me. Once we were down stairs I looked around for my mom. My dad was already in the mines, he was to old to be in the Reaping, and the Capitol didn't want to lose a day of production. But my mom was nowhere to be found, so I looked at Rue and Brandon. Rue looked terrified, and Brandon was emotionless, wow that's weird.

"Do you guys want anything to eat?" I asked them kindly, they were so quiet it was starting to worry me.

"No, thank you. I don't want to risk getting sick on stage." Rue said with a sad smile, I looked at Brandon, he had already released my hand. All he did was shake his head no. I decided we could be early for the Reaping. Today, they wanted all the Tributes to be in the roped areas, one for boys and one for girls, at 11:30.

"Ok then" I said breaking the now annoying silence as I took Rue's hand again and led her towards the door. "there's nothing wrong with being early." I looked straight ahead, but I didn't hear any complaining… yet…

Once we were in the town square I left them standing by the fountain, the one that my mom and I had argued at the night before, I decided to sign us in. I walked over to the table, then I realized what a terrible mistake that was. Signing the Tributes in was none other than Devin. He smiled when he saw me coming to check in.

"Well hello there." He said looking at me. "Who do we have here?" he asked. Now I was furious. I smiled kindly and he looked excited.

"Oh ya know." I said sweetly, looking at him, he was never from the Seam, strictly merchant. He had sandy blonde hair that was a little shorter than Brandon's, and he had electric blue eyes, that were mesmerizing. Now I understand why Anne fell for him. Wait… Anne… ANNE!!! I looked at him, and my mood shifted, he could tell to. He looked completely confused. "Lily Everdeen. As in Anne Everdeen's cousin, the girl whose life you ended!!!" I yelled at him furiously. He looked confused then he smiled.

"She was dead weight." He said proudly.

"You used her!!!" I screamed as loud as I could, "She cared for you, before she left for the Capitol she told me she wanted to protect you!!!" I yelled at him, he flinched a little, I tried to remember he was still a kid, the same age as me. But he wasn't like me, he had Anne's blood on his hands, and he could never take that back.

"Sign me in as well as Rue and Brandon Mellark." I told him pointing to the two kids by the fountain.

"K" he said smiling at me again, I glared back. "She was pretty," he said, talking about Anne, "I did use her. But she seemed to like being used." He was smiling so big now. I just stormed away, away from everyone and everything. I heard Rue screaming my name, but I didn't care. Anne was the most important person to me before she died. She was the same age as Sunny and I, and we were the best of friends. When she was drawn for the Games, just last year it was a wake-up call. We weren't safe. I remember her long blonde hair blowing in the wind when we went on the swings in my back yard, her laugh when she heard a good joke. But her eyes were the best. Her blue eyes showed all her emotions, sadness, happiness, and when she met Devin, love. I had just noticed I was crying, I was thankful I didn't wear any eye makeup.

I looked up and realized where I was, there's a small pond in the merchant part of District 12 that Anne showed me, whenever she wanted to talk, she would leave a Lily from the flower banks around the pond and I would know to meet her there. So many of our secret meetings had to do with Devin. He was all she could talk about, whenever he said 'hi' to her, her heart would skip a beat. And look what he did to her.

I can't stay here all day, I slowly rose to my feet and walked back to the town square. When I arrived Rue ran to me and hugged me tightly. I looked for Brandon and saw him talking to Devin, they were smiling. I looked down at Rue for an answer. Then she surprised me by glaring at her brother and Devin.

"What happened while I was gone?" I asked Rue, keeping my voice quiet as we walked towards the fountain. She looked so angry,

"When you left, Brandon went to see what happened. Then he and Devin struck up a conversation… About you. I tried to tell him what Devin did, he said he knew, and that Devin did what he had to do to survive the Games. He said it was Anne's fault for falling in love during the Games." I looked over at them again. I had enough of this. I grabbed Rue's hand and we walked over to where the district's biggest players were swapping stories. When we got to them they both smiled at me.

"Well look whose back." Devin said looking at me again, but I didn't care. I walked over to Brandon and hit him as hard as I could, right on his shoulder, the one I cried on last night. He looked at me, shocked.

"Our alliance is over." I said firmly, I looked at Rue, the fear in her eyes was plain. Brandon was looking at me completely confused.

"Excuse me" he said, "and why is that?" he asked searching for an answer,

"What exactly did you say about Anne?" I asked, and he smiled.

"She, was as Devin put it, dead weight. She was stupid and not careful enough. Is that all you were upset about?" he asked me. I didn't look at him, in the distance I saw Sunny coming up the hill.

"SUNNY!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. She came running up to me, she was there in a matter of seconds. I saw Devin looking at her with lust.

"What's wrong" she asked franticly.

"We no longer have an alliance with him." I said pointing at Brandon. She seemed to realize what was going on.

"What happened?" she asked looking at Brandon now. "What did you do to Lily?" she demanded, I knew she could see the lines the tears had made down my face.

"They were discussing Anne." I pointed towards Brandon and Devin, I heard her gasp. "They both think she was dead weight and she brought her death to herself by falling in love during the Games." I looked at Sunny, and she broke down crying, she knew all about Anne's crush on Devin. It took her forever to get over Anne's death, me along with her.

"Why do you care?" Brandon asked me. I glared at him and replied,

"She was my cousin, my best friend, and she told me everything even things about him." I pointed towards Devin, and he didn't look surprised at all.

"So what" he said in reply. I looked at him shocked that he would say anything like this. Where did the boy who held me while I cried, the one who stroked my hair and told me he would always be there for me.

"I thought you were different" I said, my voice shaking, he smiled "but I was wrong. You're worse than them all. She was my best friend, she took care of me, and she even trained me when my parents were gone somewhere. She was kind and caring. She needed something to love and she deserved it. But he should have been kind, he should have been the right person for her. And I swear on her grave, I will not make the same mistake." I couldn't help the tears that rolled down my face. I looked up at Brandon, he was still smiling. "What happened?" I asked him, my sobs making talking harder now. He looked at me his eyes curious.

"To what?" he asked mockingly. I was far from shocked,

"To you" I said quietly, I looked over at Rue, she was crying. I hugged her to me tightly, not wanting to let go. She hugged me back and cried into my dress hem. "to the boy who sat with me for hours last night while I cried about something that tore my heart in two. Now I see that it shouldn't have hurt me so much." I looked at him again, I never thought I would have my heart broken. But it was broken now. He was still smiling at me still, this was entertaining him. I looked back at Rue I hated to tell her this, but I had to.

"Rue, I hate to do this. But you have to choose who you're going to ally with. But whoever you choose, I'll always watch over you. Even if it's in secret." She smiled at me thankful. She looked over at her brother now.

"I'm gonna stay with Lily." She said, and my heart lifted, I hugged her so tight. "You hurt her" she went on. "I remember Anne. Last year when those boys bullied me and I was crying, Anne came and calmed me down. And now I see that she rubbed off on Lily." She looked up at me and smiled. I grabbed Rue and Sunny's hands and led them to our section. I knew if I looked back I would cry. Then I remembered something. Roy, Jake, and CJ. I saw them coming up the road, I ran to them as fast as I could. We would need as many allies as possible, I saw Brandon trying to get to them to but I was faster. They looked surprised at the competition between the two of us.

"We've separated alliances. It is now me, Sunny, and Rue only." I explained to them. "If you want to ally, I'm so sorry, you'll have to pick sides." Roy looked at me kindly his gray eyes sparkling.

"I choose you." He said coming to stand by my side. "The others can choose their own allies." He looked at his brothers. Jake walked over to Brandon with a sad look on his face.

"I choose Brandon." He said quietly looking at me apologetically, I looked away quickly, my eyes falling on little CJ. I wanted him protected as well as he could be. He looked at me and then asked

"Where is Rue, I mean which alliance?" I looked at him sadly,

"She has allied with me." I told him, that was enough for him. He came and stood by me. I felt horrible, I broke down crying again. They all looked at me with worried eyes, aside from Brandon.

"What's wrong?" Roy asked me.

"Nothing" I replied "except I hate this." He put an arm around my shoulder, which immediately calmed me down for some reason. I looked at Brandon, but he looked bored. I silently thanked Roy, than I told them to go to their area and prepare for the Reaping. They listened, and I was left with a smirking Brandon, and a sad Jake. I walked over to Jake and placed a hand on his shoulder, he seemed to appreciate it.

"I'll protect them" I told him "I don't care what against. My allies, I would jump in front of any weapon to protect them." He seemed to calm down immensely. I smiled at him, then he did something unexpected. He hugged me, carefully but powerfully.

"Thank you" he whispered in my ear. Once he released me I smiled again then walked back to my roped area. Once I was back with Rue and Sunny I looked around and saw something that tore my heart to shreds, and by her intake of breath I knew Rue saw it too. In the shadows of the town square, Brandon was kissing Christina passionately. I looked away quickly, but the image was burned into my brain. Then the Reaping began. The mayor recited the Treaty of Treason to the citizens. I held Sunny and Rue's hands tightly, I had to be strong for them. I could feel them shaking, this is horrible. How could the Capitol watch a 12 year old girl possibly go to her death. Then what seems like only a second later, Effie Trinket was on stage ready to announce the Tributes. She was the attendant that announced Aunt Prim's name during the Reaping of the 74th Hunger Games.

"Ladies first" she said in her Capitol accent. I looked up, ready to hear one of our names, there were only three girls this year, but there were over ten boys, I didn't know that. I saw Brandon talking to them, but they were looking at me with… Respect?

"Lily Hawthorne" I heard Effie Trinket calling. I gracefully walked up to the stage, I could feel my curls bounce on my bare back. She smiled at me, but it was a sad smile. I took my place on stage, then I noticed every previous victor was on stage today, even my mom. She was crying.

"Welcome Miss Hawthorne. There is going to be a change today, the Capitol has decided upon one question for all the Tributes, and yours is… Ah, here it is. Have you ever had your heart broken?" I saw everyone looking at me, I'm going to my death soon enough, might as well admit it. I looked up at Effie,

"Yes." I said plainly, the sadness on her face was clearly visible,

"May we ask by whom and how?" she looked at me earnestly, I didn't know what to do, I looked at my mom and she gave the slightest shake of her head. No.

"No" I said carefully "it was bad, and I don't want to talk about it." Effie looked back to the glass balls.

"Well then let's continue. Next we have Rue Mellark." I looked at Rue, she was frozen in place, oh god. I quickly jumped off the stage and ran to her. I could see the Peace Keepers coming to get us on stage. I took her hand and led her to the stage, trying to calm her down wasn't easy. She looked at me and put on a brave face, I smiled at her as we mounted the stage. I went back to my spot prepared to hear her question.

"Rue, have you ever been truly disappointed by someone close to you, and if you have, who was it." She looked at me and I nodded. She looked straight at Brandon when she answered.

"Yes, I was disappointed with my brother about ten minutes ago for hurting my best friend." I was shocked, but I kept it hidden. I saw her flash a smile in my direction and I smiled back. I looked at Brandon, but quickly looked away, he was kissing Christina again, except this time he was looking at me with a mocking smile when they broke apart. I looked at the hills. I remember hunting with my best friend only a few years ago.

His name was Rory, just like my uncle. He was amazing, I told him everything, but two years ago he was chosen for the Games, he made it to the final two, every night he would smile at the sky and say my name, say he was coming home to me. Then, it was a show-down between him and the boy from District 1. It didn't last long, he was dead in a matter of seconds. His last words were cut off by District 1's sword. The boy who won, was yet again the same age as me and would be at the Games this year. Rory's last words were 'Lily, I…' those were the last words I heard from my best friend. I shut the world out and stayed to myself for months. Then Anne, brought me back, then she left me as well.