Possibly Opening Up Chapter 5, a twilight fanfic

I don't own Twilight, Stephanie Meyer does.

Ok, don't kill me. I know it's been a crazy long time since I updated this one but would it really be my life it there wasn't drama involved? That would be a resounding "NOOO!"

So a bunch of stuff comes out in this chapter. Hands up if, after you read, you want to tackle Jake in a huge Jake-hug! Sigh.

Enough with the teasing. Get reading!

Thanks to those of you who reviewed, keep them coming!

JPOV

"C'mon, Jake, it'll be fun. Plus, I think it's time we met your Rose."

It was hard to say no to Sam. He was the one person I could confide in most up until I met Rose. He couldn't identify with the pressure that had been thrust upon me but he was the only one who saw what it did to me first hand. Sam kept me grounded when I rebelled against the initial expectations of my lineage and he supported me when I started my garage. I owed him so much more than just showing up to Emily's baby shower/BBQ.

"Ok, Sam. I'll talk to Rose about it. Say hi to Emily for me."

We eventually ended our conversation and I sat on the couch in my office contemplating the meet and greet at the BBQ. Part of me was concerned that everyone would be consumed with meeting Rose that it would overshadow Emily's day. Hell, who was I kidding? I wanted to keep Rose to myself. She represented the life I wanted away from the life I knew I had to lead. My brain felt like it was being torn in three directions now. Dedication to the tribe, commitment to my career, and desire for a life with Rose. But Rose was filling me with a strength that I didn't know I had and it was definitely unexpected. For the first time, the concept of handling all three at once materialized in my head. Sure, it was for only a fleeting moment, but still. That concept had never even existed before I met Rose.

I plopped into my office chair, leaned back, and grabbed my cell from the desk. The voice on the other line sounded frenzied.

"Hi, Jake… holy shit…" I heard a loud thump and Rose exhaling violently. Uh oh.

"Rose! Are you ok? Rose?" I panicked until I heard her groan mixed with her signature giggle.

"Oh. My. Gosh! My ass! I just slipped on horse diarrhea. I hate my job right now." She continued to laugh as I heard her struggle to stand. The image I had in my head was really disgusting. Being anywhere near large animal shit was not my idea of a good time and it floored me to imagine Rose in that sort of environment. But her laughing continued and it made me smile. Anyone who could laugh at something like that was golden in my book.

"Should I call you later? Do you need to clean up or something? Horse diarrhea… that's gross, Rose." She giggled at me and her voice lowered, speaking sensually into the phone.

"You mean me covered in shit doesn't turn you on, Jake? Damn, there go my plans for tonight." She took in a deep breath in through her teeth and whimpered. "I had such high hopes…" I was immediately disgusted with myself because just the sound of her voice was making my pants tighter even though now she was laughing whole heartedly. Never mind the fact that Rose was streaked with horse shit. She still made me crazy for her. Amazing.

"Damn it, Rose, I'm so hard right now. Even with the shit. My God, you are a very, very mean person!" I held my head in my free hand, willing my ridiculously large menace to take a break. She just hummed into the phone.

"Mm, really? Well I'm headed for the shower right now… I have to change my scrubs and, oh my, I don't have a change of underwear with me! I guess I'll just have to not wear any…" The only sound I could generate was a high pitched squeak. My erection was back in the game, and it was in it to win it this time! She giggled some more, the temptress.

"Seriously, Rose, I… you're so not helping! You have a shower there, I don't! I think I'm gonna die… uuuhh…" She hummed again.

"You're not going to die, my love. Just breathe. I love you and I'll talk to you soon." And she hung up. Seriously? I can't leave the office like this but I can't just sit here either. I let my head fall down to rest on my desk as I pressed my palm over my erection, willing it again to behave. It wasn't going anywhere any time soon but it was heading in the calmer direction at least. Rose was killing me and almost causing me physical harm!

About an hour later, there was a knock at the door and I was irritated to say the least. I had been on edge, watching every minute pass by. I just knew it was going to be Paul and I was ready to pounce.

"It better be good!" Bring it. Just bring it. I was actually looking forward to drop-kicking Paul out the window. The door creaked open and a flash of blonde hair broke me out of my rage. Rose slipped into my office and softly clicked the door shut behind her. I looked at her, stunned. She was wearing a fresh pair of scrubs that hugged her every curve, her hair pulled back into a tight pony-tail, and an innocent expression graced her beautiful and angelic face.

"Oh, Jake, why so cranky?" Just then, there was another knock at the door and I wasn't interested in seeing anyone else at the moment. Rose continued to walk slowly toward me and I couldn't take my eyes off her. I yelled toward the door.

"Go away! Never knock on my door again!" Rose smirked at me and continued toward me still. The knocking continued as well.

"So, Jake, what did you want to talk to me about earlier?" As she spoke, she pushed my desk chair back and snuck under my desk, pulling the chair back under the desk after her. Holy shit. This couldn't be happening, could it? Rose slid her hands up and down my thighs and I could feel her warmth between my legs. And that damn knocking!

"Jesus, go away!" I heard Rose whimper in protest and I looked down at her in surprise.

"Come on, Jake, let him in. You're the boss and all. It's called professionalism." At that, she started to unbutton my jeans. I was supposed to think while my Rose was kneeling under my desk out of sight? Between my legs? About to do what I really hoped she would do? I was right. I was going to die.

"Fine. What?" The door opened slowly and Jasper walked in with an amused look on his face. All the while, Rose slowly peeled the front of my jeans down and I felt her warm hand slightly touch my cock. I jumped but tried to play it off, hoping he wouldn't make too much out of it.

"Hey, Jake. So… anything new?" I knew he meant Rose, especially seeing her in the shop. I was counting on him not noticing that she walked in but sure as hell hadn't walked out yet. I felt Rose's hot breath through my boxers and I took a deep breath in knowing I had to either make this the shortest conversation ever or try to stifle myself. That was going to be hard. I had always been very vocal and this entire situation made me so turned on, it was unreal. Just the circumstances of it were ridiculous. But here I was. There Jasper was. And, oh yeah, there Rose was. I knew I had to keep my responses short if I was going to get through this at all.

"What do you mean?" Rose released my cock from my boxers and stroked it gently with her hand. I adjusted myself in my seat to give her better access, scooting toward the front edge of my chair.

"The blonde. Isn't she the one Emmett had his eye on?" Emmett? Who's Emmett?

"Oh yeah. Rose Hale." She kissed the tip of my cock then, licking the pearl of precum off that I was sure had to be larger than usual.

"So? Are you guys dating or something? How come I haven't heard anything about this, man?" Seriously, I didn't want to discuss it at the moment. By this time, Rose was swirling her tongue around the tip of my cock and I desperately needed her to take in more of me.

"Uh, yup… mmm, yes, dating. No, more than dating. I love that woman." She took all of me into her mouth just then and I gasped, trying to play it off as a cough. Jesus, Jake. You have to get Jazz out of here! Well you tell me how to because I can't think right now. Jasper looked at me surprised.

"Love? You love her? When did this happen? How long has this been going on? Christ, does Emmett know? He'll die. Is she even aware of this, man?" When Jasper said that, she swirled her tongue around my shaft and trailed her teeth along as she sucked back toward the head of my cock. Yeah, I had to get Jasper out of here. Like now.

"Oh my God, with the questions! Yes, she does. Actually, I have to, uh… make some calls… Emily's baby shower… a gift… shit!" Rose was taking me into her mouth deeper and faster now, one of her hands tightening her grip as she stroked at the base of my cock and the other reached up to stroke my balls. FUCK OFF, JAZZ!

"Ok, ok, no need to get testy. I'll leave you in peace. But I need details. Seriously. We're getting a beer later and you're telling me everything." Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit…

"You got it. See ya… fuck! Could you… lock the door on your… way out? Thanks…" The door finally shut and I gripped her arms, stopping her. I quickly slid from the chair falling to my knees and pushed the desk forward about two feet giving us more room. Adrenaline was coursing through my body like a freight train because that damn desk was heavy the last time I tried to move it. Now, it was like sliding a box of tissues across the top of a well waxed coffee table. My lips crashed into hers as I took her face in my hands. She pulled my body close to hers and she massaged her belly against my cock. I pulled her to standing with me and I guided her to sit at the edge of my desk, our hands frantically gripping each other and pulling at random pieces of clothing. She resumed stroking me with her hand as I helped her remove her scrub top. I then kicked off my jeans and sucked the skin at her neck into my mouth. She took in a sharp breath and let out a deep hum at the pain. She liked it. My Rose liked a bit of pain with her pleasure. My hands were now dedicated to her and to removing those darn scrub bottoms. After I did, I let my lips brush across her lips as my fingers drifted over her center. She wasn't joking when she said she would have to go without wearing any underwear. Her stroking faltered but I didn't care. I dipped my fingers into her folds and reveled in how wet she was for me, allowing my fingers to be drenched by her. She licked my lips with her tongue and rocked her hips into my hand, one of her hands now running through my hair, tugging on it slightly. I whispered against her lips.

"Who knew you were going to be such a handful, Rose?" With that I inserted one finger into her opening. I continued whispering.

"Hmm, more, I think. Yes?" Her breathing was picking up and I added a second finger and she whimpered.

"No, no, Rose. I had to be quiet, now we both do. Shh…" And I added a third. She stopped stroking all together, not being able to coordinate herself at all with what I was doing to her. I licked her lips this time and she opened her mouth immediately, our tongues stroking each other's as if that was all we had to survive. I reached down and circled her clit with my thumb, I could feel her whole body shiver and she slammed her hand down onto the desk to keep from crying out.

"Being quiet includes not damaging my office furniture, y'know…" I took her nipple into my mouth as I continued to work her with my hand. She started to whisper.

"Jake… zelim… zelim te… sada!" Huh? She started to claw her fingertips into the skin at my shoulder blades, her juices starting to pool on the desk.

"Please, Jake, I need you now! Please… molim… molim…" Ok, mental note. Ask her what the hell she was saying after this! I removed my fingers from her opening and she took them greedily into her mouth savoring her own taste. Holy crap, that was hot. I stabilized her hips and entered her swiftly with one quick thrust making us both whimper a bit louder than we should have. I moved to silence us both by taking her lower lip between mine and losing myself in her kiss and the glorious sensation of being inside of her again. My God, she was heavenly. So warm and slick, and tight! She was clamping down on my cock for both of us and it felt amazing.

"That's right, Rose. Hold onto me. Keep me inside, love. Don't let me go." Then her muscles really kicked in and I knew I wouldn't last long at all with her doing that. But it was so good. It felt so unbelievably good. I rested my forehead on her shoulder before I panted into her ear.

"Shit, Rose, yes… I'm going to cum, my love. You're too perfect. It feels so good to be inside you, baby…" I moved my thumb to slide across her clit and pinch it slightly. She rocked her hips faster now and her frantic breathing in my ear seemed to cheer me on. My thrusts came harder now and her entire body started to quiver, I knew she was close too. Our hands gripped each other's hips and we both watched where we were joined until our orgasms started to overtake us. When they did, we held each other's gaze and screamed out together in strangled whispers. Not allowing ourselves to cry out seemed to make the orgasms last longer and by the time our bodies started to settle, we both looked tortured and bewildered. I was still shaking from the intensity of what just happened, not wanting to leave her just yet. She apparently felt the same because she used her legs around my hips to pull me closer to her and keep me inside. This was officially one of the best feelings ever, just to be inside of my Rose.

"So, Jake…" She arched her back brushing her breasts against my skin sending chills throughout my body, making my cock jump. My hands automatically slid down to the small of her back and held her hips close to me.

"You called earlier today. What about?" She leaned forward to kiss my neck and trail up toward my ear, licking my ear lobe. I called her? What's today?

"Oh yeah. Emily's having a… a BBQ…" She started to take my ear lobe between her lips, sucked on it, and then nibbled gently. I could feel her breath on my ear and neck and I could feel myself getting hard again.

"Christ, Rose! Um, a baby shower. We're invited. Oh my God, that feels awesome… Damn it!" She rocked her hips once and I moaned, forgetting that we had to be quiet. The guys had to have heard that one. Shit.

"Shh, Jake, remember? Sorry, you just feel too good to let go. Mmm, yes! Fuck! Is it a… BBQ or… a baby shower? Oh my God…" Her hands were on my hips encouraging me with each slow thrust.

"Both." I pressed my lips to hers firmly and wrapped the hair of her pony tail around my hand, pulling her head back slightly. She gasped and smiled.

"This Saturday at eleven. Are you free?" I continued to hold her there as I licked and nibbled at the skin of her neck, her fingernails dug into the skin of my low back and I thrust into her firmly loving the feeling.

"Anything you want, Jake. I'll do anything you want." I released her hair and looked her in straight in the eyes, maintaining my slow pace.

"Mmm, don't tempt me, Rose."

On our way out of the garage, Rose walked in front of me and held her head high as all the guys just stared. She turned to look at Emmett as she passed and wiped the corner of her mouth with her middle finger while she reached back with her other hand to take hold of mine. Yet another reason I'm in love with this woman. She doesn't hide much. Emmett's jaw practically hit the floor and Jasper laughed out loud so hard, he actually fell off his stool. Emmett threw a greasy rag at him in anger, but most likely in embarrassment, which only made Jasper laugh harder. He wasn't used to being passed over for another guy. Especially me. I guess I should have talked to him about it but I didn't really feel obliged to acknowledge his previous advances toward Rose. He had been just plain rude and Rose was none too pleased. Besides, I kinda thought Emmett needed to be put in his place for once. And Rose was more capable of doing that for herself. I loved it.

RPOV

I don't know what came over me, honestly. Maybe it was learning that just the sound of my voice did things to him. I don't know. But it made me feel powerful, that's for sure, and I wanted him to be at my mercy. Maybe it was hormonal. Phase of the moon? I have no idea. But I went after that man like a stalking animal. He didn't seem to mind that much, thankfully. And it was great seeing the looks we got from the rest of the guys at the garage, especially Emmett. I wanted to make it clear that Jake was more of a man than all of them put together. I was pretty sure I got my message across because Emmett looked beyond insulted.

The BBQ. The baby shower. Whatever it was, I was nervous. What exactly do you wear to a BBQ/baby shower in La Push? Are there certain expectations? A dress code? I'm sure that if there was something special required, Jake would have mentioned it. Oh fine. Casual but nice casual. White skinny jeans, light green cashmere slouchy sweater, and simple wedges. Hair up? Hair down? Hair up? Hair up in a loose bun at the nape of my neck. Ugh, why was I so nervous? Hell, you know why, Rosie. You know there's going to be more scrutiny over you because Jake is the rightful tribe leader. And I'm not one of them. I'm not Quileute. Fuck that. You know why? Because Jake wants me there. And if anyone doesn't like it, they can suck it. Damn, I hope they like me.

Jake and I pulled up to Emily's place and I was ridiculously nervous despite all the positive self-talk that I had learned in those group sessions. Jake picked up on my anxiety because he took hold of my hand before we exited his truck and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss.

"You have nothing to be nervous about, Rose. They'd love you whether I was here or not. You are a treasure. Remember that." Wow. Once again, exactly what I needed. All my fears seemed to melt away and I was left in a warm and fuzzy haze. I turned to look at him and brushed my fingers against his cheek.

"You always know what I need, Jake. How do you do that?" I really wanted to know! But he just smiled and leaned into my touch. It was like he could feel my emotions.

'You have my heart. Didn't you know that? I won't let you down, love." I leaned into him and savored our closeness before I brushed my lips against his gently. Our tongues met only briefly as if to confirm what was said and settle the conversation. Deep sigh. Jake was an amazing man. I never thought meeting someone like this was possible and I was pleasantly proved wrong.

We walked toward the house, the smell of BQQ wafted through the air and I was instantly starving. Laughter and animated voices seemed to dance from everywhere, and the a joyful atmosphere helped to calm me as well. I saw Leah through the front door and she walked outside to meet us. She seemed calm and happy, which was a relief to see, and they hugged. Leah almost disappeared in the hug because of the ridiculous difference in size between them. Jake kissed her on the forehead when they broke the hug and I finally saw that beautiful smile grace her face. I must be genetic. She then turned to me, embraced me tightly, and whispered in my ear.

"I'm glad you're here, Rose. I'll make sure you meet everyone if Jake gets pulled away for something. You won't be stranded." Holy shit! Her too! How did they always know what to say? It's like Jake and Leah had a secret line of communication that I wasn't aware of. I felt Jake step up close behind me, wrap his arms around my waist, and rest his head on mine. Leah just smiled at us.

"Ok, love birds, let's do this. Dad has the tri-tip going and he's going to do the honey drizzle thing. It's gonna be awesome!" And the hunger factor just went up by about a factor of 20.

We entered the house with Leah leading the way, Jake stayed close behind me and I could feel his heat on my back. It was a huge comfort, I could tell you that. And, as expected, all activity and conversation screeched to a halt when we entered the room. All eyes were trained on me and all I wanted to do was climb into a hole. Jake stepped around from behind me and took my hand in his. It was amazing to watch this silent exchange take place. It seemed as if it was all happening in slow motion - all eyes followed his hand toward mine, their eyes widened when we interlaced our fingers, and their then eyes returned to me. Their general defensive stance was gone, but the skepticism remained. Ugh, this was going to be a long day.

The previous activities resumed and Jake led me around the front rooms of the house, introducing me to those closest to him. And, who I'm guessing, were important figures in the tribe. Regardless of what Jake said, I felt humbled around them and I had an overwhelming need to whisper around them. They all greeted me warmly and took time to ask me about myself. Feeling so at ease with them, the elders, my anxiety about the rest of the day vanished. Also, it wasn't lost on me that once the rest of the guests noticed our little conversation, the skeptic glances diminished. Leah appeared next to me and made our excuses to take a spot outside. She walked me out to a two-person bench swing that had been attached securely to one of the large trees outside. We sat in silence for a while but I could tell that there was a lot on her mind.

"What is it, Leah?" Her eyes were focused on something in the distance but I could tell that she really wasn't looking at anything in particular.

"I love my brother." Ok? Where was this going? But I wasn't going to back down from this conversation topic.

"I know you do, Leah. So do I." She let out a soft but unsmiling chuckle. Uh oh.

"Jake cares about you, Rose, I know that. Everyone can tell. And that's a great thing! It's been a while since he was this happy." But…

"But I swear to Christ that I'll fucking kill you if you break his heart too." Woah. Alrighty then.

"I have a feeling you should start telling me a story, Leah." I preferred getting the whole story from Leah rather than an abridged one from Jake, and I hoped I wouldn't regret this decision.

"Her name was Mona LeCrese. She and Jake were together for about five years and none of us liked it. He was happy, though, so we couldn't say anything about it. There was just something about her that we couldn't put a finger on, but she didn't seem… constant. Does that make sense?" She turned to look at me, searching for understanding. And I did. I couldn't imagine anyone not adoring Jake. His soul was too beautiful to do that to. I nodded in understanding at Leah, wanting her to continue.

"Before they even met, Jake had never accepted who he was expected to be. He never wanted it. The thing is, though, that he's the perfect person for it. Jake has that natural leadership quality in him, he was born that way. He's just fighting it. His way of escaping the expectations thrown at him here was by starting his shop." Things were slowly starting to make sense now and my thoughts were immediately redirected to the day I had met Leah for the first time. She saw his shops as a way to abandon his tribe. Oh boy.

"Then he started dating her." Wow, the claws on Leah were almost starting to pierce through her fingertips! Remind me to always keep myself in check around her. She certainly wasn't someone you piss off.

"Sure, she won us all over in the beginning. And he was happy. Like he is now." She looked me square in the eye when she said that. I was suddenly feeling a bit ill.

"Five years went by and she became one of us. We treated her like family because we believed in Jake. We all hoped that, with a stable home life, he'd reconsider the role he was expected to fill. It only drove him further from it. We hardly saw him when they were together." No wonder Leah is so protective of Jake. Not only did the tribe lose out on having their rightful leader, but she was losing her brother too.

"Then, she left. Just picked up and left him. Turns out, she never stopped loving her ex. For five years, the entire length of their relationship, she was still in contact with her ex while he was in jail. Can you guess the length of his jail term, Rose?" My stomach flip flopped as I whispered.

"Five years." The idea was beyond me – to use someone like that. Especially someone like Jake! Now I wanted to track down this hussy and teach her a thing or two.

"Yup. Five years. She just needed someone to support her while that other guy was out of the picture for a while. Jake had no idea. He didn't want to believe Mona could do that. He was so in love with her. When she left, it broke him. He poured himself into his shops and almost abandoned the tribe completely." My heart was breaking for Jake. What a horrible thing to have to go through, especially while having to deal with his responsibilities to the tribe as well. It must have seemed like his world was crashing down. Having his shops probably saved him. Now I understood the skeptical looks I received when we first arrived. How the hell was I supposed to prove myself to them? To Jake?

"All I know is that I care deeply about Jake. I love him, Leah. The most important thing to me is his happiness and the only thing I can do is to support him in whatever he decides to do. It isn't my place to direct him one way or the other. But, like I said," I turned to hold her gaze this time feeling my own claws start to emerge.

"Whatever decision he makes, I will support him." We sat there looking at one another, both of us holding our ground.

JPOV

Baby showers are painful. Thank goodness they made this into a big BBQ as well because there was no way in hell anyone would catch me near one of these things again.

I wasn't nervous about how people would receive Rose. I knew that as long as I was there, she would be treated with respect. Initially, there were disapproving looks for bringing in another outsider. I also recognized a bit of disappointment. Whatever. If I was going to come anywhere near making a decision regarding taking my place as the tribal leader, I'd do it in my own time. It wouldn't do them any good to have someone who was half-assing their way through the motions, would it?

After I introduced Rose around a bit, Leah took Rose to introduce her to the ladies of the res. I was relived that Leah was making an effort to be accepting of Rose. Especially in public. It meant a lot to me and I had to make sure to remember to thank her for it in the next private moment we had.

I caught Sam's eye as I walked toward the kitchen looking for a beer and he followed me. He looked happy and content when others were looking at him, but his expression turned more serious as he came closer to me and we were alone.

"It's good to see you, Jake. I see things have changed in your life. Care to share?" Sam was perceptive – taking in the tentative reception Rose and I received when we arrived, the interest that Leah and the elders were taking in Rose, my protective stance around her. It was hard to keep much from Sam.

"Her name is Rose Hale and I'm in love with her. Do you think I should have to say more than that?" He smirked and clinked beer bottles with me.

"You know I don't need to know more than that but it's not me you have to contend with. There's been some talk, Jake." Yeah, no shit. It didn't surprise me even though I had no clue about the details.

"What have they cooked up this time? She uses the animals from her clinic in animal sacrifices? She's a witch? Oooh, better yet, a vampire?" He didn't look amused.

"Jake, this is serious. You've resisted your rightful role as leader for a very long time, your last relationship with an outsider didn't end well and it even pushed you further away from the tribe, you extended your business to Port Angeles (even though I don't think there's anything wrong with that, but they do), and now you're in another relationship with an outsider. Take a step back and try to see it from their perspective. They see you abandoning your responsibilities and are starting to look elsewhere for leadership." Woah, what? They'd oust my Dad?

"Sam, they can't do that. What about Dad?" I was getting a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Your Dad's getting older, Jake, you know that. Why do you think he's been pressing you so hard to take your rightful place? He's ready to be done with it! He's played his role. It's your turn to step in, man." Everything was spinning in my head. I had my own dreams for myself but I didn't want to let the tribe down. I never did. I didn't want to disappoint my Dad either. But with the shops and now with Rose, what would I do? What could I do?

"How could I balance it all, Sam? How could I balance it all and give everything my full attention?" He shrugged at me and took a long swig from his beer. I really wanted to talk to Rose. She had become one of the few people I trusted to talk to about these things honestly. Damn, where was she? I need Rose.

"Wait. You said they're starting to look elsewhere for leadership. Who are they looking to?" His eyes drifted to the floor and then he looked me square in the eye.

"Me." Well goodnight, nurse. "Yeah. So, like I said, it's your turn to step in. Figure something out because that sort of redirection would definitely rattle the whole reservation. Please think about it. For everyone's sake." I really needed Rose now. After Sam returned to his guests, I stepped outside to look for Rose and I found her sitting on the back swing with my sister. As I got closer to them, I could tell they were having a serious conversation. When I was almost upon them, they both looked ready for a war of words. Uh oh, let's break this up and get out of here.

"Rose, something's come up. Do you mind if we take off early? Leah, what's going on?" Neither of them were taking their eyes off each other and it was starting to freak me out. She finally reached out to take my hand and placed her other hand over Leah's.

"We'll talk again soon, Leah. We're on the same side, remember that." She then stood to join me and we walked out toward the truck after we said our goodbyes to everyone.

"What was that all about with Leah, Rose?" I was worried I would have to have another talk with my sister. Why couldn't she just play nice?

"Oh, you. She loves you, Jake, and she's concerned about you. She also shared a story with me that I think should have come from you in your own time." Shit, what did Leah do now? I looked at her questioningly and she whispered one word.

"Mona." I could feel the blood drain from my face. This was not something I had planned for. It felt like something else was added to my plate that I didn't order in the first place. Why did my sister insist on making my life more difficult than it already was? I took in a deep breath and let it come out in one long sigh.

"Well, we should talk then. Let's pick up something to eat on the way back to my place. This'll take a while." She smiled slightly and squeezed my hand in an effort to comfort me but I could tell she felt uneasy about the coming discussion. Thinking about it, though, I knew I would share it with her eventually. But Leah screwed up that time-table, like so many other things.

We lumbered into my house and Rose set up our insane amount of Chinese food across the coffee table while I set up dinner for the boys. I don't think I envied the boys more than I did at that moment. Life was so simple for them. They ate, slept, shit, and played. Lucky bastards.

After I started some Bat For Lashes on the stereo system, Rose and I got comfortable on the floor around the coffee table and began to pick at the food. How the hell was I even going to start this conversation? How far do I go back? Do I give her the short version? No, Rose deserved more than the short version. I must have looked uncomfortable because she spoke first.

"It's ok, Jake, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready. I don't want you to feel forced to tell me anything." Damn, I loved this woman. I couldn't believe that I was lucky enough not only to have met Rose, but to have her in my life.

"No, love, I should tell you. I want to tell you. Everything." I took several deep breaths and a couple pulls from my large glass of ice water.

"Ok, I should really start at the beginning because everything weaves in and out of everything else." Another deep breath.

"My father, Billy Black, is the tribe leader. Just like his father before him, and so on. While I was growing up, Dad would take me with him to all the meetings, tribal debates, and discussions. He told me all the legends and the history of our people. He was grooming me to replace him one day." I paused to take a bite of food and figure out how to continue.

"When I turned sixteen, he started to include me in the decision making process for the council and in the enforcement of those decisions within the rest of the tribe. My friends started to look at me differently, treated me differently. I felt honored to be involved so much in the inner circle of the tribe but I found that I was losing a life of my own. The more my responsibilities were pushed toward me, the harder I pushed back. I wanted a life of my own." This whole time, I had been looking down at me feet and playing with the frayed hems of my jeans. When I finally looked up, Rose was leaning up against the couch and had her caring eyes trained on me. Her food remained untouched.

"The time for me to take my father's place came when I turned eighteen. By then, I was at the height of my resistance to the whole idea. That's when I started to put my shop together. I started out small, just me and Sam. But eventually, it became Black Dog Motors. And it was something of my own. It was my life. My own life. And because I wasn't taking to the leadership role in the tribe, Dad had to stay on. The council was worried. This kind of thing had never happened in the tribe's entire history. Everyone was in a holding pattern, almost, to see what I was going to do. A part of me felt bad, but the other part felt like I was drowning. Like I had to do everything I could to keep my head above water." I put my plate of barely touched food back on the coffee table, having lost my appetite. Rose remained in the same spot.

"That's when I met Mona." God, do I have to talk about this? About her? This is going to be like ripping off those butterfly strips with rusty pliers just as the edges of the gaping wound were starting to graft together. Fuck this. I started to stand up.

"I'm getting a beer, Rose. You want one?" She nodded silently as I grabbed two Newcastles out of the fridge and fished my keys out of my pocket for the bottle opener. She took it slowly and took a long draw before licking her top lip and pulling her knees to her chest.

"Man, where was I?" I knew damn well at what point I was in my story but I was just dreading having to say it out loud.

"Mona." Shit. She was paying attention. Pussy!

"Yeah, Mona. Mona and I met at the sporting goods store in town. She looked totally lost… anyway, I fell hard and fast. She encouraged me to pursue expanding my shop and dedicating my life to that. Looking back on it, she was interested in the money it would bring in. See, she was in accounting and I went to her for help with the books." Rose gasped quietly, held her fingers to her lips, and shook her head in shock.

"The guys at the shop noticed that the cash flow wasn't matching the increased work load and tried to tell me but I was totally blinded by my love for her. She could do no wrong in my eyes." Getting all this out actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, now that I was doing it. I knew it was because I was telling it to Rose. I had no hint of defensiveness or shame. It was just me sharing part of my life that no one else had heard. No one knew my side because I never felt comfortable telling anyone. She pulled her hair out of the bun at the back of her neck and ran her fingers through it. A flash of warmth shot through me and I felt almost lightheaded. It didn't feel like there was another person sitting across from me. It felt like she was an extension of myself. I had never felt that before and I couldn't tear my eyes away from hers.

"Jake, are you ok? Do you need to stop? You don't need to tell me any more if you don't want to…" Yep, this is real. This is totally happening. Was there anything more than love? Anything more intense than love? Because that's what I was swimming in.

"Sorry, Rose. You just make me feel so… I don't even know. You're making this so much easier for me than I ever though possible." She smiled slightly and scooted closer to me, taking my hands in hers and kissing each of my fingers.

"Like you said, you have my heart. Anything you need, love. Do you need to stop?" I moved my hand up to run my finger gingerly across her cheek trying to memorize the softness, the warmth, and the feeling of her smile at my touch. She settled one elbow on a couch cushion and the other on my knee. My whole body hummed.

"No, I'm ok." I took another deep breath and continued the story while looking her directly in her eyes.

"It went on like that for five whole years. I pulled away from the tribe, my father, and my friends more and more. The shops suffered. But I didn't see any of it. All I saw was her. I was stupid. Beyond stupid. Then one day, she was gone. There wasn't a fight to speak of. There also wasn't a note, voicemail message, text. Nothing. She even scoured the place clean. All of her stuff was gone, any picture with her in it was gone, even the food she liked was gone. The shower was scrubbed, all the bedding was gone. She took the pillows. There wasn't even a stray hair anywhere. Anywhere! It was like she erased herself out of my life completely. I was frantic! She always told me she didn't have any family so I didn't have anyone to contact." Rose looked like she was going through the same pain I had.

"A week later, Leah had to bail Quil out of jail in Port Angeles when she saw Mona picking up her ex from the same jail. Let's just say that it didn't exactly look like an unhappy reunion." Rose closed her eyes, took in a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh.

"Quil had to pry Leah off of Mona. That was after Leah had broken a bone in Mona's face and ripped out some of her hair." That made me smile every time I thought about that. Just the visual was entertaining to me. It wasn't that I liked the idea of Mona being hurt, but the idea of Leah going ape-shit on a someone as poised and elegant as Mona made me laugh. Rose's eyes opened wide and she tried to hide a smile as well.

"Yeah, I'm learning that I should never get on the Leah's bad side. Jake, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the pain and abandonment you must have felt. It's just mind blowing to me." I knew she would understand. I just knew it.

"So I had to endure the I told you so's from everyone on the reservation. Especially those on the council. Slowly, I took part more in the tribe but I still find it hard to give up my life. After Mona left, it's what kept me sane. I can't imagine being without it." Rose was now running her fingers through my short hair and massaging my scalp, occasionally tracing a finger around my ear.

"Jake, why do you have to give the shops up? Do you think there's a way for you to do both? I know your shops are an integral part of your life but… so is the tribe. I hate to see you pulling yourself apart, love." And there it was. I remember that thought had flashed through my mind once but I never was able to hold onto it. And she said it as easy as breathing. I shook my head in frustration, not knowing where to go from here.

"I have no idea how to even begin doing that. What would they expect from me? I think I might know how I can stretch myself with the shops but taking the lead role with the tribe is so big. So massive. I wouldn't know where to start, Rose." It felt like I was pleading with her, begging her to help me keep the shattered pieces of myself together.

"Would you like my advice?" I would take any ideas at this point. This couldn't go on. I whispered.

"Please, Rose." She turned to face me directly.

"Why not talk to your Dad and the council about keeping both responsibilities? Ask them for their advice. They obviously want you. No, they need you, Jake. And I think you need them as well. There's nothing wrong with asking for help. No one else should be involved in this decision. No one else on the reservation, not your friends, and not me. Just know that whatever you decide, your true friends and loved ones will stand by you. That includes me too. I'll always be here for you, Jake."

Slowly, all of the conflict and indecision was no longer shackled around my neck. It was still there, but it felt like it was packaged neatly and stored off to the side for me to deal with later. As much as I hated to admit it, I couldn't do this on my own. I needed help. And rather than pulling my life apart like Mona had, Rose was helping me collect the pieces so I could start holding them together. She couldn't do it for me, I knew that. But just her presence gave me the strength to give it a try.

She leaned in to kiss my forehead gently as she ran her fingertips down the side of my face and neck. I closed my eyes and took in her scent and warmth, and caught her neck with my lips. She tasted sweet and I couldn't stop trying to take her in. As I continued to claim her neck, she moved to straddle my lap with her thighs and ghosted her hands up and down my arms, whispering.

"It's going to be ok, Jake. Everything's going to work out…" Our eyes finally met and I was in awe of her. She was my angel. She touched my lips with one fingertip and whispered again.

"Do you trust me?" With that, she rocked her hips only slightly but my cock sure as hell noticed. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to take in every sensation, finally resting the side of my face on her chest.

"I do, Rose. You have to know that I do." She let her head fall back as I nuzzled my face into the crook of her neck. "I love you so much, sweetheart. So much…" Her hands were now trailing over my neck and shoulders, her thumbs lingering on the skin behind my ears. Holy shit, I loved that! That brought a serious whimper out of me and I didn't care. Everything she did to me set me on fire and I couldn't stop myself any longer. I needed to feel her lips against mine, her body pressed against mine. My body needed to feel the way I felt inside. I just needed Rose.

RPOV

It was a tense ride home from the baby shower. Well, let me restate. Jake was tense on the ride home from the baby shower. There were so many things I wanted to ask him. How did he and Mona meet? Did she really pull him away from the tribe like Leah had said? How much did Mona really have to do with his apprehension about taking on his leadership duties? But I knew I couldn't ask those questions. He had to tell me in his own time. And I hoped he would tell me tonight because I was dying to know.

Regardless of my nosiness, Jake looked tortured. He didn't look angry or unsure of himself. He looked scared. I knew that look all too well. Especially if it involved discussing someone from the past whom you cared for a great deal. At one time, at least. Talking about all that put you right back in that moment and you relive it all over again. Not just the events, but the emotions. The pain. The destructive and dangerous thought processes. It took me a long time to be able to talk about James in that way without sinking right back down to where I was after he left. I have my bad days, obviously. But, with the help I've gotten, I have the tools I need to look at things rationally and not let myself be consumed again. This was different, though. Jake hadn't had anyone to talk to about these things. He had to do it all on his own. I wouldn't doubt it if the fear from the Mona situation seeped into the rest of his life too. That sure would explain a lot.

We arranged ourselves around the coffee table with our food and sat on the floor. He started telling me about how he was groomed to replace his father and all the pressure that went along with it. And then I realized something that I had been missing something this whole time. Everyone started to look at him differently, treat him differently. That's what he didn't want. The isolation. His shop was his way to keep some control over his life, to make his life his own. Then Mona came into his life and she took him further from his responsibilities. Like he was going to argue! Jake most likely chose not to see that Mona was stealing from him and manipulating him. But when she left and he found out that she had used him too, that was it for him. He closed down and focused on the one thing that he had control over – his shops. But now, all the responsibilities are coming at him full force, requiring him to deal with the situation and make some hard choices. Honestly, though, did he have to choose? Or could he just make adjustments to accommodate everything he was passionate about? When he finally looked like he was about to crumble into little pieces and lose himself into the carpet, I offered my advice.

I thought I saw him immediately start to glow from the inside. There was definitely hope in his eyes and I was thrilled to witness it. Right in front of me, was a man. An imposing looking man who no one would agree to take on in a fight. Here, also, was a man who was the rightful leader of a strong and proud group of people who depended on him to take his position. But the person in front of me was scared. The events in his life built up over time into this huge ball of unresolved angst. Then this news about the council looking to Sam for leadership instead was the final straw for him. Even though the one issue on it's own isn't earth shattering, that one last nudge sent him over the edge. It's like trying to park a Honda Fit into a compact parking space that already has a Hummer parked in it. That shit isn't happening. Every issue had to be teased out and dealt with individually. Like he had said earlier, everything weaves in and out of everything else. He was finally seeing that it didn't have to be that way. Things didn't have to be that complicated.

I wanted to comfort him. I hoped that what I said helped him and I had a feeling it did. He looked more calm now, almost relieved. I leaned in to kiss him on the forehead and he was burning up from all the emotion and tension. He started to kiss my neck but I wanted to make sure he knew that I was devoted to him, that I would always stand by him and support him no matter what. So I moved to straddle his hips and tried to calm him with my fingertips on his arms. I told him that everything would be alright and that things would work out because I knew they would. Things had a way of doing that. They tended to work out for the best.

I asked him if he trusted me to be there for him and adjusted myself on his lap. His cock jumped against my center and, though it wasn't my intention, I wasn't opposed to it either. The way he held me in his arms and the way he spoke to me made me feel like he wasn't being drawn to my body, but drawn to me. The person inside. And that was better than a quickie any day. I rocked my hips again, more delicately but with actual purpose this time and I felt myself start to drip just with the quiet long groan that growled out from his chest. Knowing that I had that effect on Jake, considering everything that he was, made me feel lightheaded with power. But tonight couldn't be about my power over him. This shouldn't be about power at all. This should be about sharing our love. And I wanted that now, so badly.

His lips met mine softly, our kisses and tongues intermingling in time with the slight rocking of our hips. He brushed his fingertips over my face as he looked into my eyes and whispered.

"Rose, that time… at the shop… mmm… " Oh yeah, I remember that. My lips traveled to his jaw and up to pull his earlobe into my mouth and gently between my teeth.

"Oh my God… you were saying something. I couldn't… shit… I couldn't understand. Zel-something?" Damn it. He caught that. I slowed myself and brought my face to be square with his.

"Zelim te sada means 'I want you now.' Molim means 'please.' Sometimes it just comes out, it's Croatian. I didn't mean to throw you off." I nudged his nose with mine and his tongue reached out to lick my parted lips, his arms tightened around my waist increasing the friction between us.

"Mmm… say something else, Rose." Really? Croatian wasn't exactly a romantic sounding language but whatever. The man asked.

"Li mozda mislili na svijetu za mene… you mean the world to me, Jake. You are my everything." His hands searched my body more firmly, his fingertips digging into my hips to pull me closer to him. I could feel his warm breath on my chest and neck as he lifted the hem of my shirt. I removed it quickly and my bra followed soon after, Jake pulled us to lay on the floor with me on top of him after he unzipped both my jeans and his.

"Moram se osjecate protiv mene… I need to feel you against me. Molim, Jake. Molim…" Apparently, the whole foreign language thing was doing it for him because he almost ripped my jeans trying to get them off of me. When our skin did finally touch, we both hissed at the contact.

"Tako dobro, Jake. Fuck! So good, love…" With that, he rolled us so he could be on top of me and proceeded to pin me to the floor. His mouth hovered over mine and we shared each other's breath while he slowly brought my leg up and secured it with his shoulder.

"You do something to me, Rose." His head descended down my chest, his tongue trailed down my stomach, and his hand massaged the inner thigh of my other leg. Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit! I loved when he took control like this. He ran his fingers delicately up and down between my wet folds and didn't avoid my clit like he usually did. It had been throbbing already just waiting for attention and he came through. One finger entered me slowly as his tongue circled my clit. A second finger entered and both then curled up to pull gently at my G-spot. I gasped loudly and tried to grab anything to stabilize myself but nothing was there. My hand then instinctively reached for his hair, pulling it slightly, and holding him in position at my center. This made him add a third finger and suck directly on my clit, my fists now pounding into the carpet. The feeling was so intense, it was insane. He then came up to kneel upright in front of me, still working me with one hand, and now kissing the inside of my ankle of the leg that was over his shoulder. His fingers were digging into my hips, his teeth were dragging over the skin of my ankle and something new was happening in my low. His fingers weren't pulling hard, but they were pulling rhythmically and in time with his thumb on my clit. I felt a warm burning feeling with an almost uncontrollable pressure, almost like I had to pee. This was the worst time for my urinary system to kick in. Really? You have to pee NOW? I pushed at his arms with an uncertain look on my face.

"Jake, wait, I… oh my God… I need to… stop, I feel like…" He just smiled and nodded at me.

"I know, Rose, it's ok. You've been shooting a little for a bit now, just let it go. Cum for me, love." Wait. I've been what? I can squirt? I'm a squirter? Porn stars squirt. I thought you had to practice to be able to do that kind of thing. And I've been doing a little for a while now? What the hell. If I'm going to let myself do something like this for the first time, I couldn't imagine myself doing it with anyone else. I let it go. And holy crap, did it go! This had never happened before. No one else had been able to bring this out of me. This is so weird.

"That's it, Rose, relax and let it go for me. I want to see you, Rose." I let everything go and it was heavenly. His thumb continued to work on my clit and as I stopped gushing, he entered me in one swift movement. I was officially losing my mind. It was numb and I didn't care one bit. I could feel more liquid seep out of me as he continued his rhythmic thrusts and he pressed his thumbs down onto my hip bones, sending electric shocks through my body with another orgasm. I tried to say something but words were beyond me at this point. My voice just came out as a strangled cry. His thrusts kept coming as he lifted both my legs up straight but crossed them in front of him. He secured my legs together with one hand and stabilized my hip with another. This time, it was Jake who wasn't able to speak. It sounded like a tortured sob but it wasn't sadness on his face.

"My God, Rose, I'm… I'm gonna cum, love, I'm… Fuck!" I wasn't far behind, I can tell you that much. To feel him inside me, to see his face, and to hear the sounds that were coming out of his mouth and chest did me in. We laid there for a while still gripping each other tightly and trying to slow our breathing. My mouth was so dry but I didn't seem to care at that moment, to be honest. It was crazy how perfectly matched we were. Not just emotionally but physically as well. Obviously.

"Koja je nevjerojatna, Jake. That was amazing." After that, I was at a loss for words.

"You're going to have to teach me some of these words, Rose. I'm sure they'll always sound better coming from your beautiful mouth, though." Hmm, well I'd have to work on that. That was a part of me that I'd have to work on digging out for Jake. I knew the time was coming soon for me to do that, considering everything that he had shared with me tonight. But now wasn't the time. Now, I just wanted to enjoy our closeness.

"I'll do my best, love. I promise, Jake." It was a promise. I didn't want to keep anything from him. But there was so much, I honestly didn't know where to start. But it would be soon. He had to know.