Title: Just Be

Part: 2 of 3 (revised down from 5 - the story is pulling together better than I thought)

Word Count: 2396

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, nor would I ever pretend to.

Spoilers: "Funeral"

Characters: Kurt, Blaine, Finn, Warblers

Rating: PG

Category: Hurt/Comfort/Romance

Summary: Blaine tries to be there for Kurt during a tough time. (Told from Blaine's perspective)

Author's note: This it turning out to be more cerebral than my usual offerings - in that there's a lot of introspection - but the idea just niggled at me and I had to write it. I'm hoping the characters are still canon

Blaine sighed into his math book, the equations on the page in front of him were swimming in front of his eyes. The common room at Dalton was silent except for the rustling of papers as the 9 or 10 students sprawled on couches and around the table studied for finals. He was a good student, and thought he'd do ok in his final, but it didn't come easily. His thoughts drifted to one of his father's sayings: you don't get anything worth having without hard work.

Maybe it was a good thing that he wasn't seeing Kurt today.

Kurt.

He glanced at his phone, but there was no new message.

Almost as soon as he'd left Kurt's place the day before he'd received an apologetic message:

Thank you for being so supportive. I'm just in a weird space but it's NOTHING to do with you. Talk soon xo

The message had made Blaine feel better and worse all at once, and his mind had been unable to turn off or concentrate fully on his revisions since. It was just so unlike Kurt to be closed off to him. Sure, he was generally guarded (albeit passionate about certain things like singing and fashion), but not with Blaine.

The way he had been withdrawn the day before: focussing on his phone and the methodic machinations of Tetris rather than engaging with the environment around him. It just wasn't like the Kurt Blaine had got to know. Because despite being so guarded, he and Blaine had had a connection from the moment they met. A mutual understanding; and Kurt had reached out to him. Sure, he had desperately needed someone who "got it" to reach out to, but Blaine had liked to think that Kurt would be able to come to him with anything, confide in him, especially now that they were together.

It had taken all of Blaine's self control not to message Kurt several times the night before. He'd thought about taking the battery out of his phone to remove the temptation of using it; but then what if Kurt decided he wanted to talk? So instead he had spent most of the night looking at the phone, re-reading Kurt's message, instead of revising for his math final. Instead of sleeping.

After that sleepless night he hadn't been able to stop himself, so had sent a simple message at around 8am. The same one as the first message he'd ever sent to Kurt:

Courage.

He'd still been holding his breath after sending it, thumb quivering above the phone where it had just pressed 'send', when Kurt had responded:

Thank you. I won't be able to see you after school - family stuff with Finn. I'll explain later. Study well.

Again, Blaine didn't know what to make of the message. His heart had leapt and swelled at the fact that Kurt responded - he obviously wasn't being *ignored* - but the distance and matter-of-fact tone caused him more anguish. It was like Kurt had turned off his emotions, something Blaine would have said was an impossibility if someone had asked him about it just a day ago.

But at least he was with Finn... right?

Blaine had furtively glanced at his phone at regular intervals throughout the day, risking its confiscation each time if one of the teachers saw. He wanted to respond to Kurt's message but didn't know how; or whether he would be intruding. Ordinarily he wouldn't have these concerns - he had a particular habit of reaching out to people even when they didn't want to be reached out to - but something about this was different. He didn't know why, but he felt just as paralysed as Kurt's emotions apparently were.

He glanced at his phone again, ignoring the swathe of math in front of him. It stared back at him accusingly.

No new messages.

Kurt had pushed him away once before - after they trialled that song "Animal" before regionals - but that had been more like a tantrum. Blaine still cringed thinking about it. This time... well Blaine didn't know what it was; but he got the impression Kurt had locked himself away in a customised prism: superficial light and sound could get through but everything else was securely encased, out of reach.

It seemed so cold.

He shivered, shifting slightly in his chair, and resolved to get back to the task at hand: studying.

"Are you cold Blaine?" Wes and some other Dalton boys looked up from their positions studying in the common room. "We can close the window - it's maybe not quite as summery as we'd like to think yet."

"No I'm fine," Blaine found his voice after a moment to clear his throat. "Just not looking forward to this final."

"Oh please," Wes rolled his eyes. "You're going to make the rest of us look bad as usual with your excellent results this semester - just like you did the last despite your claims of having failed the exam!" He paused for a minute, remembering something. "Hang on, this is the first time this week you've actually studied with us rather than driving to Lima - everything ok?"

"Oh yeah," Blaine said, a little too quickly. "Kurt's busy and I'm pretty sure I'll get more stuff done here than I usually do at the Lima Bean Cafe."

"So that's why you've spent the last half hour staring at your phone is it?" Jeff raised an eyebrow.

"Not to mention at every opportunity during the whole day," Nick added. "I don't know how you didn't get caught in English - you were a world of unsubtle about that."

Blaine blushed, grabbed his phone and stuffed it in his pocket. "What is this, an intervention?" He asked crabbily.

The air seemed to be sucked out of the room for a moment and all of the boys were now looking at Blaine, shocked at the uncharacteristic outburst.

"C'mon," Wes said, standing up and closing his books. "Time for a coffee run. Just us four," he nodded to Blaine, Nick and Jeff.

Blaine knew what they were doing, but despite his feigned annoyance was grateful to them. He closed his books and followed the boys out of the room towards the cafeteria.

"I gotta say," Nick broke the silence as the four of them stared at the brown liquid in their styrofoam cups, "it just sounds like Kurt needs a day or two to figure out his own feelings."

"But it's so unlike him!" Blaine protested in a whiny voice. "We spend so much time together; talk for hours, share everything..." Now that he was verbalising the thoughts that had been swimming in his head he wondered if it was such a good idea. He was going to get emotional pretty fast if they kept talking.

"Stop obsessing." Wes ordered, placing a hand on Blaine's wrist and stopping him short. "You said Kurt is doing something with his brother today, right? Why don't you call Finn just to check everything's ok?"

Blaine thought about that a moment. "It wouldn't seem like I'd be checking up on Kurt?" he asked.

"Probably," Wes admitted, "but would that usually stop you?"

Blaine's silence provided them with the obvious answer. Of course it wouldn't.

The three boys glanced at each other and got up from the table.

"We know you'll be fine in finals, Blaine," Jeff said, "but us? We really need to study so we're going to get back to it. We'll keep your seat free for you when you come back.

Blaine nodded at them, and smiled in thanks.

Once they had left, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried not to let his heart sink at seeing there still wasn't a message from Kurt. As he scrolled through his contacts and pressed "Call" on Finn's number, he really hoped Finn wasn't with Kurt.

"Oh hey, Blaine," Finn sounded surprised as he answered the phone on the second ring. "Sorry, I was expecting a call from someone else."

"Oh I'm sorry," Blaine already felt embarrassed at calling FInn. "If you're expecting an important call..."

"Uh no dude it's ok, it's just Quinn and there's only so much listening to her I can take in one day," Finn replied quickly.

"Oh, right." Blaine said.

"So, are you looking for Kurt?" Finn asked. "Cos he's just taking some trash out but should be back soon."

"Oh um, right, Kurt." Blaine's tongue felt heavy and awkward. "No actually I, uh, I'm glad he's not there cos I wanted to ask you something."

"Ok," Finn drawled slowly. "What?"

"Um... well Kurt told me about Ms Sylvester's sister," Blaine's heart felt like it was beating in his ears, "and he... um... he seemed to take it kinda hard," the words started tumbling out. "But he didn't want to talk to me and told me he needed some time and so it seems like he's shutting himself away and he isn't sending me messages but he did send one saying he was with you so I was just wondering..."

"You're wondering... ?" Finn prompted, since Blaine had gone silent.

Blaine pressed a fist into the table in front of him with frustration, the phone still pressed to his ear. "Well what's going on!" He finally blurted out.

"You mean with Kurt?" Finn asked.

"Yes, with Kurt," Blaine said wearily - Finn could really be slow sometimes, and his 'man of few words' thing was really not helping at this time. "I mean, does he seem ok to you?"

"Well," Finn thought about it for a moment, "I guess his voice seems a bit lower and calme - there's not as much gushing and squealing. But we're helping Ms Sylvester sort through her sister's stuff so it's not like it's a party."

"Hang on you guys are doing what?" Blaine was confused.

"Oh Kurt didn't tell you?" Finn seemed oblivious as to whether that fact meant he should share with Blaine or not, so kept talking. "He kinda cornered me last night, saying he felt bad for Ms Sylvester in losing someone, and how we can both understand cos he lost his mom, and I lost my dad, and he nearly lost his dad this year... and how somehow all that means we have to help her." Finn paused, "I guess he's right; I mean I didn't know my dad but I've missed having him - like there's something missing - so I see how it must be hard for Ms Sylvester."

Blaine wondered briefly why Kurt couldn't have told him any of this the day before, but focussed back on getting information out of Finn before Kurt returned. He would have time to obsess about that later.

"So you're helping clean up her sister's stuff?" Blaine asked, fishing for more.

"Yeah," Finn said, "and we're planning a memorial service. Ms Sylvester didn't want to have one, but Kurt thinks it's really important and she agreed so the Glee club is going to sing - even though Jesse St Big-shot thinks it's a bad idea cos it means we're not focussed on nationals."

Blaine reflected a moment that Jesse was probably right about the focussing on nationals part, but had enough sense to also see that some things are more important than a competition.

"Dude I thought you would have known all this." Finn sounded confused across the phone. "Kurt said you had a final at the same time on Friday afternoon or something and couldn't come, even though Rachel asked him to invite you - something about vocal balance and showing Jesse she's not closed minded, or something."

Blaine hadn't heard Finn's last comment and was stuck on the fact that Kurt hadn't told him any of this and seemed not to want his support. He was hurt that Kurt hadn't told him all this himself and hadn't even discussed the memorial service with him let alone whether he should attend. At the same time, his mouth got dry and his heart-rate quickened a bit, feeling guilty at having gone behind Kurt's back to get this information. If Kurt didn't want to tell him, then he probably had a reason. Blaine had no idea what it could be, and almost gulped as the thought "he wants to break up" flashed across his mind, but he quashed both the gulp and the thought. That couldn't be it. He would just have to be patient.

"Dude?" Finn's voice jolted Blaine into remembering he was on the phone.

"Oh right sorry," Blaine said quickly, hoping the smile on his face transmitted across the phonecall. "Yeah I've been super busy studying for finals so Kurt probably just didn't want to worry me." He paused, "hey don't tell Kurt we talked, ok? I don't want him to think that what's going on will have an impact on my grade or anything - he's always telling me how guilty he feels for distracting me from studying, even though it's my choice. And I do have an exam on Friday, so I guess I won't be seeing the service you put together for Ms Sylvester's sister."

"Oh right, sure." Finn said a little more brightly than before. "Listen I've gotta have this next box of stuff ready for when Kurt and Ms Sylvester get back for the next load."

"Of course," Blaine said, glad to have a way to finish the conversation. "I'm sure I'll see you soon - remember don't bother Kurt with the fact that we chatted, he's got a bit on his mind."

"Yeah right, well bye." Finn hung up rather abruptly, leaving Blaine blinking quickly as he looked at his now silent phone.

He thought back to another of his father's favourite sayings: better informed but none the wiser. That definitely summed up the situation.

The Friday memorial service at least gave him a fixed point in time to look to. It was Wednesday afternoon. He would try to give Kurt space until after the service on Friday, and he would try not to think about why Kurt hadn't confided in him, and what exactly was going on.

It was going to be a long couple of days.

Author's Note: I promise we're back to Kurt/Blaine for the final instalment.