Hi everyone I'm back! I am so sorry about the month-long gap in updating. I truly did not intend to leave it like that, but I had to postpone work on the story so I could really amp up the studying for my MCAT. Trust me, I did try to work on the story during that time but I was too distracted by physics, biology, and chemistry to write a decent chapter. But the test is over and now I get to be stranded in limbo for four weeks till I get my scores and I can't even start the actual application until May. So, in the meantime, let's return to the fun stuff, shall we?
I want to give a shout-out to helikesitheymikey who inspired some of the speculation we'll see in this chapter. Also, many thanks to Alaina Downs who made me feel not quite so bad about not being able to update during the time of study hell. She's almost done with her own story "Firsts" and I can't wait to see how it ends!
Hope you all enjoy this chapter. I think we've got maybe three left before this story is officially finished!
Chapter XXXII: The Wonders of Oysterland
After a night thoroughly celebrating the prospect of Hatter going to the oyster world with Alice, the two came out into his office in a state of bleary-eyed disorientation. Muscles were sore, skin had been marked, and the position of the sun was clearly showing that it was almost noon. Not that either of the two would have noticed. Their attention was instead drawn to the large rectangular envelope placed on Hatter's glass desk.
Hatter's brow wrinkled in confusion. "What's this?"
"Unfortunately, X-ray vision is not part of the Slayer package," Alice quipped as she strolled up to the desk and picked up the envelope. She flipped open the top and reached inside, pulling out a hefty packet of papers. Her eyes lit up with excitement. "They're your papers!"
He blinked, dumbfounded. "My papers?"
She snorted and held the packet up to him. "The papers that will make you a legal person of my world and country so we don't have issues with those crazy folk at Immigration."
Oh. Those papers. He had to admit, he was somewhat surprised to see them sitting on his desk only a day after Alice and the duchess had jointly cajoled Jack into securing them. Either those two had extraordinary powers of persuasion (which was probably true regardless) or Jack was more efficient than Hatter had given him credit for.
Alice inventoried the packet while explaining each and every component to him. "Look you got a birth certificate-oh you're born in New York City like me! What a nice touch."
"New York City? Where is that? That's not the name of the place you live, is it?" questioned Hatter. What was the place where she said she lived again? It was probably something he ought to know, considering it was going to become the place where he lived as well.
"New York City is in the state of New York which borders the eastern seaboard of the United States," she explained. "I lived there until my dad got a job at Ohio State University at the Cleveland campus when I was two. I'll definitely have to take you there to visit sometime. I have a ton of relatives there anyway."
Hatter held up a hand to interject. "Wait…state? What do you mean by state? And seaboard…are you saying it's next to a sea?" Wonderland was landlocked and he knew virtually nothing of the lands which bordered it except that they were mostly untamed wilderness. He knew of oceans and seas merely on an academic basis, but had never had the fortune to see such vast bodies of water. The largest body of water he was acquainted with was the lake.
"Well, technically it's the ocean; Atlantic Ocean to be exact. And a state is…uh…" She frowned while searching for a way to explain in language that he would hopefully understand. "It's kind of a separate little country of its own with its own government, but at the same time being part of an entire nation. In my country we have fifty states, but all those states make up the entire country. Hence, it's called the United States of America."
Hatter arched an eyebrow at her. "That seems highly confusing," was his dry comment.
Alice laughed while nodding her head in agreement. "Kind of. But not nearly as confusing as our political system. Don't even ask me to try to explain that. I've lived there for almost twenty-two years and I still don't really get it."
They perused through the rest of the packet. In addition to the birth certificate (an idea Hatter found somewhat confounding for why would one need a certificate declaring one was born? Was not the existence of a person enough proof of that?), there was something Alice called a passport. This little black booklet would apparently enable him to travel to different countries. And, just as Alice had requested, there was also documentation showing his residency change to a place called Bradford, West Yorkshire, England, UK. Why did oysters insist on having so many different names for a single place? It seemed to complicate things immensely.
There were more papers showing his dual citizenship of the United States and the United Kingdom, which seemed like nearly the same place to him until Alice disabused him of the notion. There were also school records, a little blue card detailing a nine-digit number he learned was to be his "social security number" and a strange little plastic card with his picture and yet another address on it. At least now that explained why he had been forced to have a photograph taken. That was something he had never experienced before and had only vaguely heard about. The passport seemed to include the same photo and address once he opened the cover.
"So the place on this card is where I live now? Cleveland, Ohio, like where you live?" he asked Alice while inspecting the card with a dubious eye.
"Yep," she told him.
"I seem to have a lot to memorize," he griped, casting a resentful glare at the packet which held his new identity. He knew these things were necessary. Alice would not have been so keen on their acquisition if these documents were trivial. But it gave him a roaring headache even thinking about attempting to absorb all these facts and knowledge most people in her world would know about themselves instinctively. These were details he would be expected to call upon at whim.
"It'll be okay. At least most of the people I hang out with will know your real identity so that should help take some of the edge off," she assured him.
"You're going to tell your Slayer mates that I come from a world out of a children's story?" he asked, raising a disbelieving eyebrow.
Alice cocked her head to the side, her lips tightening into a small smirk. "Sweetie, we make a living fighting and killing mythical creatures and we live on top of a mystical convergence of evil. They'll swallow it." She squeezed his hand. "Besides, one of our best associates is from a different dimension anyway. You'll be in good company."
"You oysters sure do like to make things complicated," he noted with bemused exasperation.
Alice shrugged noncommittally. "Curse of the modern world, I'm afraid. You get used to it. Word of advice, though; try to phase out calling my people 'oysters'. I don't think most people where I'm from would take kindly to being called that."
He could see the wisdom in that statement. Many of his acquaintances were likely to be a bunch of women who possessed the same powers as Alice—meaning they were fully capable of trouncing him without breaking a sweat. It probably was best for his health to try to stay on their good sides.
The other items in the envelope alleviated his chagrin at the thought of having to memorize all these different details about himself. There was a key which Alice identified as the key to the apartment Jack had used during his time in Alice's world. Even better, there were also papers which she declared would give him access to Jack's bank accounts and a smaller, slimmer piece of paper she called a check. This check, as his girlfriend described, was like some enchanted document that would magically deposit more money into these accounts. Now that was definitely an aspect of the oyster world he could find himself becoming used to.
"How does it do that?" he asked eagerly as he wove the check around.
"Uh…how about we save the financial lessons for another time," Alice said briskly.
She gathered up all the items and stowed them back in the envelope. Then she set it back down on the desk and turned to face Hatter, her eyes swimming with unfettered joy. "Wow, this is really happening," she murmured in wonder. Then her expression wavered, her eyes dimming with reservation and worry. "Are you completely sure about this? I mean, it's going to be a big change for you."
Hatter took both her hands in his, intertwining his fingers through hers. He smiled reassuringly and brought his face up close to hers so that his forehead rested against her own. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life than you, Alice," he declared softly. "And, as I said before, there isn't really much holding me here. If you're not here, then there's nothing holding me here."
She drew in a deep breath, her trembling lips forming a slightly bashful smile. "You mean that?" Those perfect blue eyes glimmered with moisture.
"Well, a pretty girl in a wet blue dress is hard to come by in these parts. Wouldn't want to lose such a rare little pearl so soon after catching one," he jokingly replied. His fingers detached from her hand and began walking across the crests of her hips to the inward curve of the small of her back.
Alice's cheek muscles twitched in a losing battle with a smile. He fixated upon those smooth pink lips, remembering how they had driven him to such incredible heights of sensation and love. They were so lovely in their craftsmanship, perfectly sized and shaped just like the rest of her body. They felt like silk against his skin, silk dipped in oil. How in all of Wonderland had he, an impoverished orphan turned tea shop owner, become worthy of the affections of such a captivating, beautiful woman such as herself? His past sins and vices, many of them quite recent, surely had done nothing to earn such an unexpected gift. While he had been supplying the drugs which had led to the decline of Wonderland society she had been putting her life on the line to protect and save a population of unknowing strangers. She had helped save her world from ruin while he had passively encouraged ruin to seep into his (in his view, anyway). He did not think he could ever completely forgive himself for the part he had played in the former queen's schemes, no matter that his role had ended up being a pivotal one in the end. Alice had taught him that the ends did not always justify the means. Just because he had helped dethrone the Queen of Hearts and end her suffocating reign did not absolve him of the stain of his actions during her reign.
But Alice had this uncanny ability to make him feel as if he was someone worthy of her love. She knew of his disreputable past…well, parts of it anyway. She had unhesitatingly accepted those sordid pieces. Even more extraordinary, she had pushed past them to unveil the man beneath. Where he saw fault, she saw a strange sort of virtue. Where he saw cowardice, she declared it a durable brand of courage. Her insightfulness filled him with a tender, unfamiliar feeling of approval. Whether or not he deserved it, he did not want that feeling to disappear. The only feeling he reveled in more was the feeling of his love for her, magnified in the reflection of her love for him.
"So…tomorrow," Alice said softly.
"Tomorrow," Hatter repeated.
Tomorrow was the day the first group of oysters would be taken to the Looking Glass Hall and sent back to their world. Since those men and women had no recollection of their first trip through the Looking Glass, they were understandably nervous about stepping into a mirror as a way to return home. Alice, who was starting to accumulate a sort of hero-worship regard from them, agreed to go through first and then immediately cross back over to show them the journey had done her no harm. Then she and Hatter would enter the portal for the one-way trip.
"Well, I hope the return journey won't be quite as bracing as the first. Especially considering there's no grassy area to cushion the fall on the other side," she commented with a grimace.
She had told him how her journey to Wonderland had resulted in a veritable crash landing in the lower parts of the Looking Glass Hall, completely knocking the wind from her. Hatter, who had never gone through the Looking Glass at all, had to admit he was rather intimidated by the notion. Alice had attempted to describe what the disorienting journey had been like. From the sounds of "tumbling around in an acid tripping rainbow tunnel", he should probably have a light breakfast.
A thought tugged at him, something that had been loosely rocking around in his mind but had been previously usurped by more important matters—such as a beautiful, naked young Slayer. "So, since I'm going to your world…" he prefaced, feeling curiously uncertain about voicing this concern, "I was wondering if you might teach me to use a sword properly and maybe how to fight like you."
"What?" Alice gazed at him, her forehead knitted into a frown of bafflement. Her blue eyes grew restive and tense. "Why? You already know how to fight. I've seen you."
"Well, yeah," Hatter said slowly, scratching the back of his head, "when it's against humans. I mean teach me to fight as if I were going to fight demons and vampires. At least teach me to use a sword so I don't bungle up another rescue attempt like the last one."
"Oh, Hatter, that wasn't your fault." Alice's gaze softened and she approached him, cupping his cheeks with her hands and forcing him to look directly at her. "Sword or no sword, you were way too outnumbered. But you tried and, hey, it ended up working out anyway."
"No thanks to me," Hatter mumbled. The scenes of her fighting all those Suits and falling backwards off the cliff edge flashed in his mind's eye, reawakening all the horrible emotions associated with them. Memory was a powerful thing. Even though she was standing in front of him, alive and well, he could not completely shake off the sensation of an icy fist closing around his heart and his stomach being twisted into knots. He would give everything he owned if he could only purge those images from his memory.
Alice slowly ran her thumb across his cheekbone and then moved upward to trace a circle on his temple, soothing the anguished tempest inside of him. "If it weren't for you, I might have become the same empty shell as so many of my people had become," she told him gravely. "I think I'd prefer being dead over that."
She nudged him, her smile full of sweetness bordering upon the seductive. "It takes a lot more than a fall off a cliff to kill me, apparently. Face it," she sidled up closer to him, letting her hands drift down to brush along his back and then move southward to grasp the taut muscles of his buttocks, "I think you're going to be stuck with me for a long time…David."
The use of his birth name took him off guard. No one had called him that in years. In fact, the last person to call him David had been his mother. He had figured he would recoil at the sound of it. He was Hatter now. David no longer felt like a part of his identity. The name belonged to a completely different person—a young boy who had a family of his own once. He had thought that boy was gone, overrun by the need to survive and move on. Apparently, he was mistaken. For the sound of his birth name on Alice's lips filled him with an unprecedented flood of warmth.
Alice is your family now, a voice whispered.
"Hmmmm, still not really seeing you as a 'David'. I think I like 'Hatter' better," she murmured thoughtfully. "It's unique." She pressed her limber form up against his and it immediately sent a tingling heat spiraling through his veins. His loins stirred with lustful anticipation.
"So…it's settled, then?" he asked, his voice becoming increasingly strained by the weight of his need for her.
"What's settled?" she asked distractedly, leaning in to suckle at the pulse point on his neck.
"You'll train me?"
Alice drew back, regarding him with a look of deep chagrin. If that playful mood was still there, it was well hidden. Hatter felt both his mood and his burgeoning erection deflate. He did not know why it seemed she was opposed to the idea. Surely it could only be to his advantage to know how to properly handle the dangers of a hellmouth. But he had forgotten that his girl was very perceptive. She must have sensed he had other motives for wanting to learn how to fight like a Slayer beyond simple self-defense.
Several moments passed in a pregnant silence. Hatter conjured up all the reasoning and arguments he could think of during that time. He did not intend to fashion himself into some sort of a demon hunter just so he could tag along with Alice and her fellow Slayers. But neither did he want to just be a helpless spectator doomed to watch and wait for his beloved to return from a battle…or wonder if she even would.
"Well, it definitely wouldn't hurt for you to know how to take out a demon or a vamp. And it's not like Slayers are the only ones who fight them," she finally conceded, her voice full of thoughtful hesitance. Her lustrous eyes slid down to his right arm. "And you have got that nifty right hook there."
Alice gently snatched up his right hand and inspected it, as if expecting to find that it was not a flesh and blood limb. "What's the deal behind this anyway?" she asked. "And why didn't you mention it before? I told you about my superpowers."
He cringed at the reproach in her voice. It had not been his intent to keep the truth about his enhanced right arm from her. There just had never seemed to be an appropriate time for it. He did not even feel he could adequately explain the phenomenon behind the Sledgehammer because there was still so much he himself did not know. It was a mystery that had been with him since he had been a young lad.
"Honestly," he said, shaking his head, "I'm really not sure. It didn't turn up till I was about twelve or thirteen. My mum said it must have been something I inherited from my father's side of the family. But, of course, he was dead by that time and I never knew his family."
Alice's brow wrinkled thoughtfully. "Twelve or thirteen…so it manifested when you hit puberty, right?"
"Oh you mean that fun time when your voice starts cracking and you start mucking up the sheets every night," he deadpanned, grinning as she rolled her eyes, "yeah, only I was so special I got myself a super-empowered right fist, too."
She pressed her finger tips into the palm of his hand, massaging the muscles and strumming the tendons of his knuckles. "Sounds like it's a genetic trait," she mused as her eyes continued to scrutinize every inch of his right hand. "It's possible your sister may have ended up having a Sledgehammer if she had lived long enough."
He had never considered that. "You think?"
Alice shrugged, relinquishing his hand and pushing tendrils of dark hair behind her ears. "Well, yeah. I mean, that is, if it's not something specific to males only, which is impossible to know at the moment. Maybe it's something we could find out in my world." She grinned widely. "It's really kind of fascinating. Hell, my father would probably love to make a study of your arm."
Hatter was not certain he fancied the notion of him or any part of him being studied in that manner. He much preferred being studied by Alice for completely recreational purposes.
"It's not that fascinating. You're strong all over," he countered.
"Yeah, but my powers aren't genetically based. They're of mystical origin," she explained. "If we have kids, I won't be passing on my super strength or any of my other Slayer powers. That's not how it works. But you, on the other hand…" Her words lapsed into silence. For some reason, her cheeks developed a pinkish plume and she bit down on her lip.
"Alice?" he questioned.
She exhaled nervously and ran her hand across her forehead, a tight expression passing over her features. "Sorry, didn't mean to let my mind go jetting off like that. It's a bit early to even begin thinking along those lines."
He cocked an eyebrow at her. "What lines?" His brain then replayed what she had said about her powers not being genetic. More specifically, it focused on the part where she talked about kids—their kids. "Oh…" His dark brown eyes widened with understanding.
Fatherhood was a prospect which had only crossed his mind when he was hoping it was not the result of a casual liaison—the only kind of liaison Hatter had been familiar with prior to meeting Alice. But the possibility of conceiving a child with her made the prospect of fatherhood seem not quite as terrifying. In fact, the more his mind tasted the idea, the more appealing it became. He looked upon the woman he loved and felt his heart thud with excitement at the notion of a child of his and Alice's mingled blood.
"Yeah, um, anyway," Alice stammered, clearly still uncomfortable with the turn the conversation had taken and eager to redirect, "I'd be happy to train you. We have weekly training exercises and drills at the base headquarters that I'm in charge of, so you can observe those. I wouldn't recommend you outright joining in though, at least not at first."
"Why not? That sounds like it could be fun." Being of male origin, his brain immediately latched onto the image of sparring and wrestling with nubile young women, quickening the pulse in his veins with enthusiasm.
She folded her arms across her chest and cocked her head to the side, clearly having surmised the direction his thoughts had taken. "Tons of fun, especially when one of the girls cracks your sternum in two," she dryly intoned. "They're taught not to hold back in training and I'm not entirely confident in their abilities to rein in their strength against you. I, on the other hand, have experience in tempering my strength since I also teach regular people to fight."
"Why do you do that, anyway? I mean, you said you're a student as well. Sounds like a lot to have on your plate, love, what with saving the world and all," he pointed out.
Alice's expression faltered. "I like teaching martial arts to normal people because I think it's good for everyone to know how to defend themselves. Makes even more sense if you consider the fact that these people are living on a demon hotspot. The school thing, though…" She sighed heavily. "I think I did that more for Mom than for me, to be honest. She always wanted me to go to college and I didn't exactly have the heart to deny her. I guess I always felt like I had disappointed her by running off to Sunnydale and disappearing for a few months. And both my parents were teachers." She shook her head, smiling ruefully. "My dad was an associate professor of biology and biochemistry at the university I attend and my mom teaches high school English at a private school. So, education was always kind of…important in my household."
"What do you study?" he asked.
The question provoked a spate of ironic laughter from her. "Everything and nothing," she admitted. "Although, I did recently add some classes for foreign languages and international relations. Slayers are from all over the world, so I figured, you know, those classes might actually have practical use."
"Wait, you have different languages where you come from? People actually speak different languages?" Hatter asked, his dark brown eyes widening with shock.
"Many different languages," she replied, her forehead knitting into a skeptical frown. "Why, do you not have any other languages here?"
"Not for thousands of years. The way some of the books tell it, the people in ancient Wonderland decided it was too confusing and all the people were forced to adopt a single language."
"And that language just happened to be English?" Alice commented sardonically.
"English? No, it's just the common language of Wonderland," he corrected her.
"Which is, apparently, English," she argued. "It's the official language of my country and the other country you will be from in my world."
Hatter smiled indulgently and slung his arm around Alice's slender shoulders. "Oh, silly Alice, you're all speaking the Wonderland tongue no matter what you want to call it."
"No," she stubbornly scoffed. "You guys must have picked up the language from one of the people from my world who got dropped down a rabbit hole. Maybe you all decided that language was cooler."
The good-natured argument continued for a long time in the same vein, neither of the two able to reach a consensus on the matter. Eventually, Alice held up a hand to indicate a ceasefire.
"Okay, it hurts my head too much to try to figure it out. Let's just add that to the list of things we'll probably never know the truth of and be done with it," she declared. She threw a look back towards the trap door leading down to his underground apartment. "What do you say we get something to eat from your impressive collection of junk food and then have some more celebratory sex?"
Now that was something Hatter was definitely not going to argue.
(And, yes, I totally used Andrew Lee Potts's birthplace as the place where Hatter would have grown up in our world.)
Stay tuned, because next time we go back through the Looking Glass! And, once again, I'm real sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out. Hopefully there will be a companion piece along to make up for it.
Please tell me what you thought!