A/N: Strangely enough, this chapter was easier to write than expected. I really thought I'd be struggling with most of it but I managed to complete it in about 3 days. :D

Title: Far Away (by Nickelback)

Summary: Had he been lying to himself this whole time?

"There's nothing between us. We're just good friends."

If he had a yen for everytime he said that to someone, Akihiko would have been stinking rich by now. There was a time he didn't know why people couldn't understand just how things were between him and Mitsuru. Just because they were friends—or dorm mates—didn't mean that they were a couple. Even when Shinji had been around, any speculation was always directed to the both of them, be it the florist ("Buy 2, free 1! Why don't you get some for your girlfriend?"), a random old lady by the takoyaki stall ("Is he your boyfriend? You two make a lovely couple!") or a mother scolding her child at the park ("Now don't you go bothering that nice man and his girlfriend!").

While they had initially embarrassed him, the comments, both in and out of school, began to be rather annoying. Mitsuru, on the other hand, would simply chuckle politely and brush off the idea. Shinji would raise an eyebrow and then mutter in a teasing tone, "You're getting soft, Aki."

"For God's sake, we're just friends!" Akihiko couldn't count the number of times he had wanted to scream that to people.

… Now, though, he suddenly wasn't so sure anymore.

o-o-o-o-o

It started the night he found out Ryoji had been hitting on Mitsuru. He was in his room, at his desk with his Calculus textbook, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to get himself to concentrate. He read sentence after sentence, equation after equation, but still found his mind drifting back to his red-headed friend. He hated seeing her so down and depressed; she had been looking like a walking zombie everytime he saw her, but that wasn't the only thing bothering him. There was a heavy, sinking feeling in his stomach—the kind he usually got when he lost at a game or missed a blow on a Shadow—and annoyance was biting at his guts as well. He kept thinking about what Yukari had brought up that evening.

Ryoji… asking Mitsuru out?

With an impatient sigh, Akihiko shut his book and got up, walking over to the nearby speed bag. He picked up a fast rhythm quickly but his constant motion and thumping on the bag did little to appease his restlessness. He couldn't understand what he was feeling. This irritation… was it jealousy? Was that it? Was he jealous of what Ryoji had done?

A tiny prickle of doubt began to form in a corner of his mind and for the first time over the course of their friendship, he began to wonder if his feelings for Mitsuru were completely platonic. He was sure they were—he cared a lot about her, but he had felt the same towards Shinji. Perhaps it was some sort of sibling-like camaraderie. He bit his lip, wishing there was a way he could at least find out how he truly felt about her.

A sudden idea struck him. There should be tests or something similar for stuff like that, right?

He abruptly stopped boxing and returned to his desk to take out his laptop. He connected to the internet and typed what he wanted on a search engine. Most of the results made him cringe, but he finally found one that seemed logical enough to warrant further attention:

Think you have a crush on someone? Ask yourself this simple question! Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to kiss them?

Akihiko stared at the screen and as he read the words, images began to form in his head… images of him, holding Mitsuru in his arms… and kissing her…

His reaction was immediate. "Ugh…!" He shook his head and made a face, squeezing his eyes shut, feeling his cheeks burning and goosebumps on his skin. That had been a very wrong thing to imagine. It wasn't that he found her unappealing at all, but he felt almost guilty thinking about her like that. He was reminded of their little incident at Shirakawa Boulevard. He hurriedly exited the browser and turned his laptop off, suddenly not in the mood for any more investigating. The uncomfortable feeling within him had worsened.

Maybe he wasn't jealous that Ryoji had hit on Mitsuru in particular. Maybe he was jealous of the fact that, unlike him, Ryoji was an incredibly smooth talker and found it really easy to ask a girl out. Akihiko's gaze was subconsciously drawn to the drawer where he kept that useless dating guide he had bought (It was something he was not proud of—he blamed Junpei). Sighing again, he closed his eyes and massaged his temples wearily. He decided to sleep on it; everything would probably be back to normal soon.

o-o-o-o-o

It was after the Kyoto trip and everything was not back to normal. Everytime he saw her, the words fantasize and kiss popped into his mind. He wanted to tear his hair out for ever thinking about using the goddamned internet for something like that. He couldn't look at her and not blush (and this had nothing to do with the hot-springs incident), and so he took to avoiding her instead, both in the dorm and at school. He reasoned that perhaps he just needed more time.

"Akihiko, is something wrong? You've been acting rather strangely lately," Mitsuru curiously asked him one Sunday. He was on his way to Hagakure and she had been sitting alone in the lounge, reading. There had been no way to sneak past her.

"Uh… really?" He feigned surprise. "Sorry, maybe I'm just tired from training. I've got that boxing match on Wednesday…"

Her raised eyebrow did not lower and she studied him momentarily. "Hmm… well, don't push yourself too hard. You'll be magnificent, as always," she said with a small smile, amber eyes returning to her book. He wanted to turn and quickly head to the door, but for some reason, his feet remained stuck to the floor. Despite his discomfort, he found himself saying, "How about you? Is everything okay with the company?"

She looked at him once more. "Yes," Mitsuru answered in a quiet tone. "Thank you for asking. I'm sorry if I was… indifferent the past few days, but I'm alright now."

His gaze softened and suddenly, he felt ashamed for worrying more about himself than how she had been doing after her father's death. He slung his jacket over his shoulder and nodded towards the door. "I'm going to the beef bowl place for lunch. You wanna come with?" he asked.

"Beef bowl… at the restaurant you and Shinjiro told me about countless times?"

He noticed how she bit her lip after realising she had brought up his name, but it mattered not to him. Akihiko nodded and grinned warmly. "Yeah," he said. "It's the best in town. Come on, it'll be my treat. You always did say you've wanted to try that place out."

His words brought a chuckle to her lips. She marked the page in her book and shut it, getting up from the couch. "Alright then, just let me get my coat," she replied.

Mitsuru left for her room and as Akihiko waited by the door, a puzzling realisation slowly hit him and he replayed their previous conversation in his head. If he wanted to be technical, he had actually asked her out and she had accepted. Unlike that one time he had been trying to practise the art of courting with that wretched guide, there had been no need for jokes, no stuttering, no stammering and wondering what he was going to say. It had felt completely natural, and that confused him even more.

o-o-o-o-o

Everything became clear to him, however, one night when they were in Tartarus. The four of them—Minato, Junpei, Mitsuru and him—had been battling Shadows non-stop on one of the higher floors of the dungeon for the past half an hour. Junpei was already complaining about his fatigue, and though Akihiko felt that he could still go on, he was a little tired himself. Mitsuru seemed no different, but she never said a word about it. Their blue-haired leader wanted to push on with their investigation but when he saw his team-mates' weary faces, he swiftly changed his mind. "Alright, we'll find the access point and head on back," Minato announced.

The Shadow's attack happened so quickly that none of them were prepared. True, Fuuka had sensed it a few seconds before, but nobody had quite expected it to suddenly turn around and lunge at them with such speed. Being the closest, Minato bore the brunt of its first attack and was thrown back to the wall, and despite their tiredness, the rest of the team immediately engaged it. It was a rare Shadow they had never seen before and although its physical attacks were quite weak, its magical capabilities and agility proved extremely challenging.

"You alright?" Akihiko called out to Minato, who nodded and got back onto his feet, readying his sword.

"An ice-based enemy. It's weak against fire!" Fuuka's voice echoed in their heads. "Junpei-kun!"

The junior was already taking out his Evoker, but even before he could pull the trigger, the Shadow cast another spell—Bufudyne—and this time, its target was Mitsuru.

In hindsight, Akihiko knew it had been a very, very stupid thing to do, especially since the Shadow's element was ice, but at that moment, he hadn't stopped to consider anything. The only thing he remembered was crying out something and then jumping to shove his red-headed comrade out of the way. An excruciating pain shot through his nerves as the freezing spell hit him in full blast—it really didn't help that that had been Caesar's weakness. The boxer was thrown even more violently than Minato before, landing a few feet away from the Shadow with a painful crash. He had been hit by ice magic before, but the effects had never been this bad. His head was spinning wildly, his vision was filled with dark spots and his entire body hurt all over. He barely made out the others yelling his name and even as he tried to look up, the last thing he saw before everything went black was Junpei unleashing his strongest fire attack on the Shadow…

o-o-o-o-o

… When he opened his eyes again, the first thing Akihiko saw was the familiar cream colour of the ceiling in his room. The ringing in his ears had stopped and he could hear someone speaking quietly, "—get some sleep, Yukari. I'll see to it that he's fine."

Mitsuru. At that thought, he sat up at once, his joints and muscle aching slightly. He saw both Yukari and Mitsuru standing by the open door. The former caught sight of him and smiled in relief. "Oh, you're up, Senpai," she said. "Are you feeling better? I only used Diarahan once but I hope that was enough…"

He rubbed the back of his head where it still hurt and grunted, "I'm okay, thanks." His grey eyes moved to Mitsuru, but she remained silent and just held his gaze.

"Minato told me what happened, Senpai. That was a really sweet thing you did," Yukari remarked, unable to resist the slight teasing tone in her voice, but when his expression turned vacant and he simply stared back at her mutely, her smile faltered a little. "Uh… a-anyway, I'm glad you're feeling better. Good night," the junior hurriedly said and left.

There was a silence as Akihiko took a deep breath and fell back onto his bed, a hand on his forehead. He heard Mitsuru shut the door and approach him with a soft sigh. He didn't turn.

"… Akihiko, what happened back there?" Her voice was confused, puzzled—emotions he was all too familiar with just then.

He swallowed hard. "I don't know," he said truthfully.

"I'm… very touched about what you did. Thank you, but I don't understand what made you do it," Mitsuru said, her tone troubled. "You must have known that I wouldn't have even felt that Shadow's attack. You have been reckless, yes, but never this way before… Why? Enlighten me, please."

She was looking at him but he never looked back, fixing his stare on the ceiling instead. "I don't know," he mumbled again.

"Something is bothering you," she said under her breath. "You've been trying to hide it but I can tell. You haven't been your usual self these days. You're always telling me not to keep my troubles to myself, but now you're doing the same, Akihiko."

He did not respond. Mitsuru frowned, deeply mystified by his behaviour both now and before. When he continued to keep silent, she sighed again in defeat and turned to walk to the door, leaving him alone in his room without another word.

Akihiko remained on his bed for a while before he got up and started to pace around aimlessly, absent-mindedly chewing on his bottom lip. What had happened to him? Jumping in front of her to stop an attack he knew would never have hurt her anyway? And worse, he got himself pretty banged up as well. He raked his hands in his platinum hair, distressed and uneasy. He had to figure it out this time.

"I don't know." That was what he said to her just a few seconds ago and it had been true, but as he took some time to reflect on the incident and his actions, a startling realisation slowly began to dawn on him. As if a switch had been flicked on in his mind, he suddenly knew why the fact that Ryoji had hit on Mitsuru really pissed him off; why lately, he had begun to look forward to their study sessions together and why his eyes were almost always on her during their battles with Shadows, watching out for any possible danger that could befall her even though he was well aware that she could fend for herself. He finally understood why asking her to come along for lunch had been so simple and easy, and while he was usually timid and anxious around girls he was attracted to, he was never nervous with her. He realised now why he had done what he did for her that night. It was because although she would have remained unhurt by the spell, he couldn't bear the thought of her getting attacked in any way.

There was only one reason for someone to want to sacrifice themselves to protect another without even considering the consequences; only one reason he wanted to bash the living daylights out of anyone who could have a chance with her—anyone who could take her away from him.

Suddenly finding his legs wobbling weakly, Akihiko set himself down on the nearby couch, his breath caught in his dry throat. Only one reason…

He was in love with her.

o-o-o-o-o

He trained harder than ever after he had finally sorted out his feelings towards Mitsuru. By sheer will, he forced himself to act as normal as he could whenever he was with her and the others, not wanting anyone to suspect his true emotions. If Shinji had been around, he would have caught him out already, but although he sometimes found Mitsuru looking at him with a strange expression on her face, she never said a word to him and he was glad about that. He didn't know how well he could have kept his usual act if she had pulled him aside to confront him or something.

The night he had realised his true feelings had also been the night he decided never to let her know about them. If he wanted to be honest with himself, he was actually afraid that she would not reciprocate. He knew she cared for him a lot, but chances were she was not attracted to him at all. They had been through a lot together and she would have done anything for him, as he would for her, but he was sure she only saw him as a brother-figure and not someone who could be more than a friend. A larger part of him was more anxious about the fact that their relationship would certainly suffer if she ever came to know about how his feelings and that was something he didn't want. Things could be awkward between the both of them now but he would much rather have them unchanged than risk ruining their friendship.

And so they continued to go to school together, fight Shadows side-by-side, help each other study for the exams. He did not keep his distance (he knew that would have sparked her suspicion at once) but he found himself watching her intently at times, noticing little things about her he had never noticed before, like the way she bit on her lower lip thoughtfully as she was solving an unusually difficult math problem, or the way she sighed almost sensually in contentment whenever she took her first sip of her daily tea. He grew to be very fond of these trivial details.

One afternoon, while they were having another study session in the school library, he found her staring off somewhere, idly twiddling her pen. She had on a distant expression and when he turned to see what she was looking at, the only people he saw was a group of other students by the window. He recognised one of them as a sophomore member of the boxing team. The boy had his arm around another girl while his other friends discussed their work quietly.

"… Something wrong?" When he broke the silence, Mitsuru turned back to him, alert and slightly startled.

"Huh?"

"It's not like you to space off." He offered her a small smile and she returned it rather sheepishly. "My apologies," she said. "My mind just wandered…"

He suddenly remembered something. "Oh yeah," Akihiko started. "How did the meeting with the company directors go? It was a couple of days ago, wasn't it?"

An odd look clouded over her mahogany eyes and she looked back to the notebook in her hands. Naturally, that made him curious and he raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Mitsuru?"

"It went alright. They just wanted to sort something out… I'll be meeting them again next week."

No, he knew her too well to fall for that. "Did something happen? You know you can talk to me," he said earnestly. Her gaze lifted at his words.

"… I'll tell you…" she slowly began in a sort of challenging tone. "… if you tell me first what it is that's been bothering you."

Akihiko inwardly sighed. He had thought that after a few weeks, she would have forgotten about it but it looked as if she wasn't going to let it go. There was no way he was going to tell her, so he just shifted his attention to his textbook and said nothing. He knew she was still watching him but he glued his eyes to the page and forced his mind to read the words before him.

o-o-o-o-o

The only time he ever reconsidered his decision not to confess was right after Ryoji had informed them all about their supposedly inevitable deaths, but even after knowing he might have only one more month to live, he chose not to do anything. He had already spent months loving her from afar—what difference would thirty days have made? No, he'd be better off keeping things the way they were. He did notice she had been looking a little tired and worn out lately—she must either be worrying about the upcoming battle with Nyx or something to do with the Kirijo Group. Regardless, it hurt for him not to be able to comfort her, but after that conversation in the library, he didn't want to bring anything about her wellbeing up anymore.

On the last day of January, after school, Akihiko dropped by the cemetery, heading for Shinji's grave. He didn't bring anything; he could almost imagine the look on Shinji's face if he had brought flowers and the image made him chuckle. As he stood by silently, staring at the plain, engraved headstone on the ground, he was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of melancholy. He wondered how different things would have been if Shinji was still alive; how he'd react if he knew about his feelings for their long-time friend. He thought about death—his own and hers; he, dying, without ever telling her how much he wanted to be with her and she, taking her last breath, without ever knowing how he really felt about her. Both thoughts were gut-wrenching, but he had made up his mind. If this was something to be carried to his own grave and never known, then so be it.

"… Looks like I really have gone soft, huh?" Akihiko whispered into the wind and smiled thinly. "Don't worry. I'll be fighting for you… and her… I'll fight for the three of us, and I won't let her go that easily this time…"

o-o-o-o-o

After the meeting with the rest of the team that night, he retired to his room early to do some last minute working out. He trained for about three-quarters of an hour before a knock on his door made him stop. "Yeah?" he called out inquiringly, fists still readied in a battle stance.

"It's me." His already racing pulse accelerated even more when he heard her voice. He bit his lip and walked over to the door, opening it slowly. What he saw surprised him. Mitsuru was standing outside, all wrapped up in a warm coat and thick scarf, but it wasn't her outfit that caught him off guard—it was the expression on her face. She looked unusually flustered and her cheeks were flushed a rosy red. She was probably cold, he thought.

"Hey," Akihiko said.

"Are you training?" she asked rather hesitantly.

"Uh, yeah. Just thought I'd do some warming up before tonight. Is something up?"

She turned away briefly, her hands digging into her coat pockets, before she sighed softly and looked back at him. It was surprisingly difficult to read the emotions in the expressive, amber eyes he had come to love.

"I'm sorry," Mitsuru murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "But there's something I need to talk to you about. Can we… go out for a walk?"

o-o-o-o-o

You know, that I love you

I have loved you all along

- Nickelback: Far Away -

A/N: Hmmm, now isn't that interesting? XD Final chapter: Mitsuru's side of the story. Stay tuned.