Hey, hey, I'm back! Just Simona here with another installment of this twisted tale of par-taying during the medieval time period - whoop whoop!
A quick word of warning: everyone within this story will be little bit OOC, although i will try and keep the main people as sane as is medievally possible. i hope.
Well, enjoy :}
Put your hands up; put your hands up, up, up, up, up…
Merlin's eyes opened uneasily as the too bright light streamed into the room. He realised he was lying on the bed in his room, which was in complete disarray: there were streamers hanging from the walls, along with, "Best Par-tay Ever" which had been painted on (that would take ages to clean off…); tankards of ale were piled up on the window sill; scraps of clothes were lying around on the floor, some that didn't even belong to him… The worst part was that he didn't remember any of it. Merlin tried to move his body but he ached all over and there seemed to be something holding him down.
Morgana.
He was in bed with Morgana. Her arm was on top of his chest, her head resting on his shoulder while he had one arm around her. Oh, lord… Slowly, he eased his arm out from under her, jostling her slightly, and sat up in the bed. Why was he so sore?
He felt something stiff on his arm and pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to disclose a bandage just below his shoulder. Removing it to assess the damage, he discovered a scabbed over tattooed love heart with the words: "Merlin & Morgana" in a light blue banner and below that: "FOREVER". He shuddered, it felt like a jail sentence – how was he supposed to get rid of that?
"Morning" came Morgana's voice as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.
"Good morning" he answered anxiously, still freaked out about the tattoo – he must have drunk more than he thought…
Morgana suddenly brushed her hand over his tattoo, admiring it, "Do you like it?"
"Um… it's alright…"
"So, you don't like it, then?" She frowned.
"No, no, I didn't say that." He tried to think of something to get that frown off her face, "I mean, it's alright now but once it heals it'll be… great." He gulped.
"Oh, I'm glad you like your wedding present." She hugged him tightly, making him wince.
"We-wedding present?" Merlin choked.
Morgana pulled away from him, looking at him with stern eyes, "Don't you remember?", to this Merlin shook his head, "We got married, silly." She held up her left hand which had a gold ring on the fourth finger along from the thumb.
That was when Merlin fainted.
Arthur looked at Gwen who was lying next to him on the picnic blanket, her head resting on the pillows.
"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" She appraised the rare sunny weather, before looking at him.
"Not as beautiful as you"
Gwen blushed and he leaned in, taking her lips onto his firmly.
"Sire" a man's voice, that he recognised, came from somewhere far away, but Arthur ignored it.
"Sire!" there it was again, only closer.
"Not now, Leon" he said as he pulled away, only to kiss Gwen again.
Wait, Leon? The dream faltered and vanished.
Arthur opened his eyes wide to find Sir Leon looking down at him while he seemed to be drooling on his pillow.
"Sorry, sire for interrupting your, ah, beauty sleep…" He smirked.
"Funny, Leon" Arthur wiped his mouth and propped himself up in his bed, "Now, what can I help you with?" He pulled back the covers and walked over to screen next to his wardrobe where his shirt and trousers, from yesterday, lay.
"It's about your father…"
"What about him?" he called from behind the screen.
"He's missing"
That stopped Arthur dead. He came out from behind the screen with a half buttoned up shirt.
"Have you searched the castle, gone through all the rooms?"
"Yes, yes, he's nowhere to be found"
"Well, where was he last night?"
"It seems that Gaius had a little gathering that your father attended" Leon loosely remembered the details.
"Then we'll start there" he buttoned up the rest of his shirt and went to put on his boots.
"Oh and sire, there is also a matter of this…" Leon handed Arthur a long, rolled up piece of parchment. Arthur read it, his eyes becoming more and more livid with every line.
"Sire, what is it?" Leon voiced his concern.
"Nothing, just something I have to deal with" And deal with it he would…
Merlin walked into the front room, having changed into his signature red shirt, jacket and trousers, as it seemed he had gone to bed in the clothes he was dressed in last night – a silky, collared shirt that had an emerald dragon on the back and fine black trousers; clothes which he hadn't started the night in…
He had promised Morgana some breakfast while she freshened up, and when he saw the state of the main room, he realised that was going to be a harder task than he had imagined: the front door had popped off one of its hinges and was resting at an angle; the walls were also covered in streamers with the words: "Just Married" and "Congratulations!" scrawled onto them; most of the tables were overturned and the chairs broken; the poison cupboard was still luckily intact; there were still kegs left unopened and some had burst to leave a puddle of ale on the floor; Uther's lavish seat had a Whoopee cushion and a lacy garter resting on it; the poison cupboard was still intact, though; Gaius's bed had been taken over by chips and playing cards and, as for Gaius himself, he was passed out in the corner against a keg with a chicken pecking at his tunic.
Merlin sat down at the only table which wasn't in utter disorder and tried to collect his thoughts which was difficult when the whole room smelled strongly of alcohol. When he had woken up his head had only been stiff; now it was mounting into a deadly headache which wasn't helping the fact that he still had to find out what had happened last night…
Arthur burst into the room, making the door whack against the wall before it popped off its hinges completely; scaring the chicken so that it ran across the room. He took in the chaos that was Gaius's chambers and Merlin sitting at the table, nursing a sore head.
"MERLIN!" Arthur chastised him, making him wince.
"Arthur, don't talk so loud…" His head pounded with every sound he made.
"WHY? Did someone happen to go spend the whole night in the tavern after they finished their chores?" Arthur closed the distance between them until he stood over him.
Merlin looked up at him, his head still thumping, "Not exactly… although I did get into this frightful mess -"
"What? Couldn't pay for your drinks? Is that why you have a black eye?"
"WHAT? I have a black eye?" Merlin picked up a silver tray in front of him and inspected himself: he had a horrible purple-black bruise around one eye, a cut lip and a thin cut on one cheek.
"I have a black eye!" Merlin repeated, slightly impressed.
"You have a black eye" Arthur confirmed.
"I… have a black eye!" Merlin finally remembered how it was you received black eyes, "My face! How did this happen?"
"I don't know, Merlin, why don't you tell me?" Arthur cleared his throat and unravelled the parchment which had been in his hand the whole time, "Does this refresh your memory?"
"What's that?" Merlin put the tray down, looking up at the lengthy paper.
"This is a bill addressed to me" He began to read it aloud, "To your Royal Pratness, you owe me, signed, Merlin" Arthur's eyes narrowed, "PS Gwaine says hi"
"Well…"
"36 tankards of ale, 7 bottles of wine, 6 DOZEN pickled eggs…"
"Gwaine's favourite…"
"So you do remember?" Arthur looked down at him.
"Not exactly…" Merlin massaged his head, "Look, Arthur can we talk about this later, I -"
"Arthur!" Morgana came into the room, with wet hair and a towel securely around her body, smiling broadly.
"Morgana?" He looked her up and down before his eyes narrowed, "What are you doing in Merlin's room wearing only a towel?" He looked down at Merlin who smiled anxiously.
"Oh, Arthur don't you know?" Morgana came up behind Merlin, patting his shoulders.
Arthur shook his head, taking in their peculiar closeness.
"We got married! I'm Mrs. Merlin now" She wrapped her arms around Merlin head, making it that little bit more difficult to breathe.
Arthur's eyes narrowed and his right eye twitched as what Morgana had just revealed sunk into his head. Morgana didn't even notice.
"Morgana, why don't you go get dressed while Merlin and I have a little chat?" He ordered.
"Arthur, I hope this chat is not going to involve you yelling at my husband?"
The word husband sounded so natural coming off Morgana's lips, yet sounded so strange in the ears of Merlin and Arthur.
"Of course not" he assured her, at least not a lot… he added.
Morgana didn't believe him, "When I come back, I want Merlin to still be in the condition that I left him in," she commanded, "I'll be back soon, okay, sugar plum?" She pecked Merlin on the cheek, glaring at Arthur as she sped back into Merlin's chambers.
Once Morgana had closed the door, Arthur's eye twitched even more furiously.
"Arthur, calm down" Merlin stood up and held his hands out in surrender, stepping away from the Prince.
Arthur took a deep breath and for a minute he looked normal… but it was not meant to be.
"YOU MARRIED MY SISTER?" He bellowed as he found a goblet and chucked it at Merlin's head.
"I was drunk – I didn't know what I was doing!" Merlin defended himself, dodging the goblet.
"That's not an excuse, Merlin" Arthur lobbed a chair leg at him.
"Look, it's all a big misunderstanding" Merlin ducked as the chair leg crashed into the window behind him, "I don't love her"
"Then why the hell did you marry her?" He hurled a book at Merlin.
"I told you – I was drunk! I mean wouldn't you marry your sister if you were drunk?" Merlin ducked again as the book flew through the now broken window.
"What kind of question is that?"
"Oh, don't you start – you married a cow when you were drunk!" Merlin remembered that night well and always knew that one day he would be able to use that incident to his advantage.
"That's different" Arthur tossed another chair leg for bringing that incident up.
"How is it?" Merlin ducked again.
"Are you calling my sister a cow?" He yelled, seeming to have become very protective over Morgana.
"No! At least I managed to marry another human… and a female at that"
"Shut up, Merlin" Arthur flung another chair leg at him to finish the discussion.
"Look, hitting me with inanimate objects won't resolve anything" The chair leg hit Merlin's shoulder – great, another bruise…
"No, but it'll make me feel better" Arthur puffed, "Look, after we find my father, he'll fix this… situation with you and Morgana. Although it won't be easy, I don't think I've ever seen her quite so happy"
Merlin became conscious of the fact that he too had never seen her like this, "Wait, what do you mean by 'after we find' your father?"
"He's missing" Arthur told him.
"Well, have you searched the castle?"
"Yes"
"Gone through all the rooms?"
"Yes" Arthur answered slightly annoyed.
"Even the dungeons?"
"Just what would my father be doing in the dungeons?" Arthur asked, folding his arms.
"Hey, it was a wild par-tay, anything's possible – I mean, I ended up getting married…" Merlin shook his head, still not able to get his head around it.
"So… who was the best man?" Arthur rocked on his heels.
"W-What?"
"At your wedding, who was the best man?" Arthur looked at him, his eyes telling Merlin that this was a big deal.
"I don't know! Um, possibly Gwaine?"
Arthur pitched another book at Merlin that hit him square in the chest, winding him.
"And to think I was going to have you as my best man…" He muttered, shaking his head.
"Really?" Merlin looked at him hopefully.
"No, I'll just get Gwaine to do it!" Arthur mocked.
"Arthur what's this really about?" Merlin asked, knowing there was something else that was really bugging him.
"How come I didn't get a say in this marriage? I mean, Morgana's my sister and you're my manservant…"
"Well, you weren't invited to the par-tay" Merlin explained.
"And why wasn't I invited?" He picked up a chair leg menacingly.
"Why don't you ask Gaius?" Merlin pointed to the figure still slumped in the corner.
They both went over to Gaius's little sleeping corner, Arthur still holding the chair leg. Gaius had his thumb in his mouth and was mumbling things in his sleep.
"Gaius…" Merlin shook him. Gaius's head popped up immediately with a wide grin on his face. Arthur squealed, dropping the chair leg. Merlin looked back at Arthur who shot the manservant a look that said, if you value your life you won't tell anyone about this…
"Gaius…" Merlin shook him, knowing that he was still asleep – he always did this in the morning… Gaius head slumped again, his thumb finding its way back in his mouth.
"Gaius!" he shook him more briskly.
"Grunhilda, what strong hands you have…" Gaius murmured.
"Who's Grunhilda?" Arthur asked from behind Merlin.
"Lady Elena's 'charming' nursery maid" Merlin smiled as Arthur snorted.
"Come on, Gaius, time to get up" Merlin shook his uncle even more vigorously.
"Aw, do I have to? I'm so comfortable here, next to you…" He wrapped Merlin's hand in his.
"GAIUS! GET UP NOW! CAMELOT IS BURNING!" Arthur bellowed.
Gaius shot up immediately, head butting Merlin into Arthur. They fell about on the floor as Gaius looked around his chambers looking for the source of the fire.
"Wait a minute, there's no fire…" Gaius concluded before he spotted Merlin, who was lying on top on Arthur, groaning.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything…" He looked down at the two knowingly, always having suspected there was something more between them…The pair looked at each other in alarm and then slid off each other, both voicing their disgust.
"Gaius, I just fell over onto Arthur, nothing else…" Merlin explained as he rose to his feet, massaging his sore head. Arthur brushed himself off.
"Uh huh, sure, that's what they all say…" Gaius replied, arms folded, "Now, what did you wake me for?"
"It's my father, Gaius, he's missing" Arthur explained, "Sir Leon told me that he was here last night"
"Yes, he was. Is that all you wanted to know?" Gaius walked over to the table and sat down. He was so irritable in the morning.
"When was the last time you saw him?" Arthur walked over to the table with Merlin following him like a puppy.
"Um, I… can't remember…" He searched around his head for any memories of the previous night but none came.
"I think it was around 3 in the morning" Morgana said as she waltzed into the room wearing a silky, green dress, with beaded, emerald dragons on the bodice. Her hair was dry and the curls cascaded around her face and down her back.
"Wow" Merlin exclaimed, and then blushed, "Is that a new dress?"
"Do you seriously not remember anything, Merlin?" She walked up to him; "This is my wedding present from you" She touched the tip of his nose; he winced, as it was sore too.
Arthur picked up the bill and read to see if that dress was on it – of course it was…
"Wait a minute – 1 custom tattoo" he saw as he looked further down the list for the first time, "Spill." He looked at Merlin, folding up the bill.
Merlin sighed as he rolled up his sleeve, unmasking his still-healing tattoo.
Arthur laughed his little arrogant head off, wiping tears from his eyes.
Morgana looked at him disapprovingly, "Well, I think it's sweet" She pulled Merlin's sleeve back down and wrapped her arm in his.
Arthur took a deep breath, "No, you're right, it is very sweet… sugar plum." A new wave of giggles escaped from Arthur's lips. Morgana gave him a death stare which shut him up immediately.
"Gaius, you sexy beast…"
All three of them turned to look at Gaius, who had picked up the tray in front of him and had styled his hair into a quiff, winking at himself.
"What?" He turned to them once he noticed all their eyes on him.
"Anyway…" Arthur continued as though Gaius hadn't said anything, "Morgana, you seem to be the only one who remembers anything from the previous night" Arthur commented, "Why is that?"
"I wasn't drinking – I needed to keep a clear head for the auditions"
"What auditions?" Merlin asked.
"For this years pantomime, Peter Pan – what did you think was going on in your room?"
Merlin laughed nervously, "Nothing… but why were you wearing that outfit?"
"Because we're doing a nitty-gritty, burlesque version – I'm one of the lost boys"
"And I'm Tinker Bell!" Gaius interjected, beaming. He'd already changed his hairstyle into a Mohawk, "Oh this look is so you…" He complimented himself.
"Right…" Arthur said, "And around what time was this?"
"That was soon after I finished my chores, so near the beginning of the evening" Merlin clarified.
"So what happened next?" Arthur enquired.
They turned expectantly towards Morgana.
Oooh, juicy! don't ya just love cliff-hangers?
Please review and tell me how much of a scoundrel i am for using a cliff-hanger and how my little ficlet is getting weirder and un-funny... :/ but you still love me, though, and think i'm amazing and... (head inflates so much it pops) dammit, i just got a new one! :P
Til next time (which could be a week, 4 weeks, 3 months, a year even; it could even be a sunday, a thursday, an afternoon, 2 am, 7.35pm - whenevr it is, be prepared) - i'll be back, like the terminator. *muahahaha* xx