Time seemed frozen as the whole crowd stood still, rooted to the spot, staring intently at where the Witch had disappeared as if they expected her to show up any minuet, fully armed and seeking vengeance. Of course this didn't happen. I found myself at the brink of hyperventilating, the recent events playing in my head like a broken soundtrack.
My house landed on a Witch… the other one really mad… accused me of murder…accident...random shoes...I fucking blew her eye out ...actually my bad…now has a justified reason…she now has a justified reason…fuck…
"I am so fucking screwed" was all I managed to say, my voice a helpless squeak. Glinda turned to me quizzically.
"What' screwed? Do you mean to say you're screwed into something?"
Oh for the love of god.
"No, it means…." I had to pause to think for a moment "It means I'm in trouble….in this case."
"Well in that case, yes - you most certainly are in a fix my dear" Her tone was unusual; still that perky, sugar coated tone but this time it seemed patronizing. I kept quiet, afraid to open my mouth and say something I might regret again. People are so unpredictable around here. Glinda turned to address the crowd of Munchkins.
"It's all right! She's gone, you have nothing to fear!"They were not reassured.
"But what if she comes back?" called out a Munchkin "she'll kill us all I reckon –"
"No! She's not coming back" cut in Glinda hastily "She has no reason to because you see; Becky here is leaving and taking the Ruby Slippers with her!" The Munchkins seemed relieved and cheered approvingly.
Whoa! Wait a minuet! I wanted to say. You can't send me off just like that! "Um but where am I going?" I said, deciding now was not the time to be cocky. I caused enough trouble as it is – and I've been here for like half an hour!
"Oh! Well you want to get home don't you?"
Of course! What do you think? "Yes. Yes I do…you have any suggestions?"
"Well I don't but there is one person who might be able to help you."
Might be able to help me? Might? "And who's that?" I'm screwed.
"Why he's the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz!" Munchkins bowed their heads at the mention of his name…it's like Kim Jung Il and the citizens of North Korea. "He lives in the Emerald City and I'm afraid that's quite a long journey from here." She grinned at me, too cheerfully to be considered just happy - an exaggeration again…or maybe she's high or something - I mean she can't be like this all the time…
A random image popped into my head at that moment of Glinda in the same outrageous outfit she was wearing now, sitting in a cubicle in front of a computer monitor, her gown too excessive to fit on the office chair, pink fabric splaying all over the place…. she has a Bluetooth headset on, and is singing into the mouthpiece, dictating musical instructions to a bewildered customer…..yeah, that just doesn't work.
"Becky?" said a voice.
"Hmm?"
"About the Wizard?" Glinda peered at me quizzically.
"Oh right! Right – so he's in the Emerald City?"
"Yes" She said slowly "Are you quite alright dear?"
Dear? "Yeah – yeah I'm good. So how far is the Emerald City?"
"Oh it's quite far I'm afraid" She made a sweeping motion with her wand in a northern direction where I could barley make out a sparkling speck of green which must have been it.
"So did you bring your broom stick?" asked Glinda.
You know if I tried that I'd die "No, I didn't."
"Well then you'd have to walk."
Walk! You can't be serious! "Wait - walk? You want me to walk all that way!" In heels too!
"Yes is that a problem?" replied Glinda pleasantly. "The shoes shall protect you and prevent you from tiring."
I couldn't help to slap a hand over my eyes. "You're kidding" I said.
"W – Well no, I'm not um kidding." She sounded awkward saying that like the way a 50 year old would sound saying 'Yo!'
"So you actually expect me to walk while being hunted down by a homicidal, green person whose sister I unintentionally smushed in a totally foreign country with no ID, money or anything"
"Err well you could still– "
"Oh yeah!" I said remembering "And now she actually has a legitimate reason to be pissed because I also...um…
"Shot her eye out" Glinda said flatly but the accusation went unnoticed
"Right, right and that time it was actually my bad sooo…."I trailed off, leaving Glinda to figure it out the rest.
"Yes I…I understand you're in trouble dearie" she said, sounding slightly uneasy "But you must remember the Ruby Slippers will protect you so all you have to worry about is how to get there! You just follow the Yellow Brick Road!"
"Yeah but if the shoes protect me and all that, it wouldn't matter whether or not I walked or took like a …" I paused to think. What kind of transportation do people usually use in this place? "um…like a train or something"
I saw Glinda swallow and she began fiddling with her wand, twisting it around in her fingers "Uh well the trains are unavailable at the moment so you'll just have to walk I'm afraid."
Hmmm…well I don't know how to ride a horse.
"Is there any other kind of transportation available?" I asked. Glinda shook her head and had stopped fiddling with her wand.
Looks like I have no choice then. I groaned inwardly and was about to turn my head to see how far I had to go but then stopped myself. What good would that do? I thought. The distance won't change, I know the sight won't be reassuring – hell quite the opposite.
But on the other hand, it'll be kind of pathetic – being unable to even look at what lay ahead and I'll have to face it anyway so what's the harm?
…..It'll be depressing – Oh what the hell!
I turned and looked to see how far it was…and saw my car.
A stroke of genius struck me "You said these shoes 'prevent me from tiring' right?"
"Yes…that's what I said"
"Would it work on a vehicle?"
"I…I don't see why not…"
"Well then I'll drive there instead." I got my learners permit 6 months ago. I can drive.
Glinda eyes widened as I made my way to the car – a minivan to be specific "Are you sure it's safe to ride in that …thing?" she said, sounding like someone's worried mother
"It's totally fine – I know how to drive"
I hopped into the driver's seat, the Munchkins and Glinda following my actions with both fascination and trepidation the way a civilian would watch a tank crawl into their neighbourhood. I stepped on the accelerator and had to be wary of the Munchkins for they were in the midst of another celebration, singing and dancing right in front of me and it didn't help that I was driving a minivan and that the Munchkins were less than four feet tall. They cheered and seemed almost to be chanting. "Follow, follow, follow, follow, follow the Yellow Brick Road! They kept saying. I almost wanted to honk the horn to get them to move but decided that would just alarm them – it alarms everyone actually. I eventually made my way to the Yellow road which was quite wider than I thought – about the size of a 2 lane road. I shouldn't have too many problems with other vehicles.
I eventually got away from the crowd and was able to speed up. On either side of the Yellow Brick Road there were a series of dwellings, some houses others more like apartments with rectangular shapes, and in the distance I could see the glint of tall glass windows as the sun reflected on them their tops reaching about 40 stories like buildings in downtown New Jersey. This particular area seemed to be residential area.
I found the grandness of all this a bit overwhelming. Everyone seemed so…so high class. The houses were generally made of clean, white plaster, every door had a polished knocker carved into some animal, and the apartments were made of red brick, each unit with a balcony where people dressed in shiny coats and stiff collars waved encouragingly through large potted plants.
And then there was me from a blue collared town in New Jersey, living in a 2 bedroom flat with a splendid view of the concrete wall of another apartment. I knew it wasn't the Munchkins intention but it was like they were throwing all this in my face going 'Hah!'
So I drove faster and looked ahead. I suddenly noticed amid the vibrant colors of cheering Munchkins, a spot of black like a speck of mold on an otherwise perfectly good apple. I drove closer.
It was that creepy Munchkin again only this time he was a mere few feet away from me.
He stared, glowered at me again – that same creepy, unwelcoming look. If I hadn't known any better, I'd say it was a look of resentment, the way his lips were pinched into a thin line, the way he fixed his narrowed , red rimed eyes on mine, the way his fists clenched and unclenched themselves as if twitching to take action. I wasn't sure what to make of this so I sat up straighter with my head up, eyes forward, jaw set like I hadn't even noticed him.
As I past him, I thought I caught a name on the satchel he was carrying.
Frexpar Thropp.
His reflection in the side mirror stared on at me, his presence still strong even after I past him. He was a haunting figure…like the Witch, dressed in black, his face pale and ashen, his figure spiky and hunched as if the effects of gravity had caused his body to compress on itself, leaving him crooked and short as many elderly are.
We watched each other through our reflections in the mirror until we were far enough to see each other fade away, leaving me filled with wonder.
Frexpar Thropp. Sounds kind of English but who could he be?
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