Disclaimer: PoM and VV do not belong to me.
The two heroes stared at the pipe. It was long, dark and directed downward at a ninety-degree angle. Skipper gulped, turned to Vince, and smiled suddenly. Vince, too preoccupied staring down the hole, did not notice Skipper sneaking behind him until a gentle wing calmly pushed him off balance, sending him plummeting into the pipe. Skipper then jumped in after him.
Vince turned around, "I hate you."
"I know," The Skipper responded. They continued falling for what felt like a long time. Though in the actual time frame, it was only a few minutes. Finally, the saw a light at the end of the tunnel, quite literally. The small pipe then expanded into a gigantic room, complete with a hard, metallic landing pad. Vince landed first, wincing at the contact of hard metal on his burlap skin, though of course not dying. He winced again when Skipper landed on his back, completely unharmed, "Huh. Well that was anti-climatic."
Vince muttered something unintelligible, muffled by the concrete. Skipper chose to ignore it.
"Hey, you two! Whataya think you're doing?" A scratchy, almost feminine voice rang out. From the heroes left entered an old woman turtle, wearing a lab coat and a grouchy scowl, "Do you know how expensive that equipment is! If you broke that, it may have taken YEARS to replace it!"
"Yeah... well, anyways, can you help us? We're looking for a magical lady, really tall, bound in chains from head to foot," Vince pointed to his head and feet to emphasize his point, "You seen one?"
"Hmm... Maybe... I'll tell you what. You give me something I want, I'll give you something you want. You scratch my shell, I scratch yours, you feel me?" She winked at the two.
Vince winced, "I hope not..." His bluntness was rewarded by an elbow ramming into his non-existent stomach. Skipper smiled politely at the old cro- err, turtle.
"We'd be honored to help you, ma'am," He bowed his head in respect.
The turtle smiled, "Why, what a gentleman. Please, right this way," The old turtle led them into a laboratory sort of area. She led them over to a chalkboard, where a blueprint lay out in all detail for the consumer's ease. Both Skipper and Vince stared as the turtle explained, "These are the plans to a very complex and highly advanced machine I am constructing. Only one of my intellect could possibly grasp the theories involved-"
"It's a balloon," Skipper interrupted.
"...Yeah."
Continuing on where Skipper left off, Vince stated, "It looks like you'll need some cloth for the balloon, a propeller to steer, and gas for the burner."
"...Yeah."
"Sheesh," Skipper complained, "Kowalski could come up with something twice as useful in half the time without these materials."
"Kowalski? You know him?" The turtle blinked in obvious surprise.
Skipper, too, blinked, though it was more in shock than surprise, "You know Kowalski?" He shook his head, "Sheesh, he could've told us he was famous."
"Oh, he's not," The turtle shook her head, "He was here not too long ago. About... half an hour, he showed up on my doorstep, just like you two. Except instead of falling out of nowhere, he just kind of showed up. No notice, no nothing. At least I could hear bug-eye screaming in the pipes."
Vince rolled his glass eye, while Skipper asked about Kowalski's presence. The turtle woman -if she could really be called a woman- thought about this for a moment.
"Ah, let's see. Showed up randomly, wasted space, exploding peanut jars... oh yeah! He got bored and took off. I imagine he's still in my old lab, looking at my old inventions. Probably.
"So how do we get there?"
The turtle stroked her chin, "Well..." She jumped upward and pulled down a retractable map, speaking nonsense as quickly as she could. When she finished, she turned to the two ten0inch heroes, both staring at her with wide, unbelieving eyes, "Did you get all that?" She asked as she sent the retractable map back up.
Vince's glass eye spun around in little circles. Skipper, whom had tilted his head to the left in confusion, spoke, "Er... not really-"
"Great," The turtle grabbed them both by the scruffs of their non-existent necks and threw them out of the lab, onto a large metal grating, "Now, go get that stuff. And whatever you do, don't make any loud noises in the Main Area here... bye!" And with that, the turtle retreated back into her lab. Skipper and Vince exchanged a glance.
"What great hospitality," Skipper brushed himself off, watching Vince get up, "Did you even get a word in edgewise?"
"I think the writer thought enough about me to give me ONE line..." Vince mumbled, "Now, do you remember her directions?"
The Skipper scoffed, "REMEMBER them? I couldn't even hear them! Let's just jump off this platform and hope we make it out alive," And before Vince could get a word in edgewise, Skipper took a nose dive off the balcony like area. Vince, panicked, dove off after him, only to see at the last moment that the penguin was climbing down using the rocks. Vince groaned, knowing the pain coming his way, and collided in a belly-flop with the metal grating, opening his eyes only to see that he was protected by this very grating from a bed of spikes. Skipper shook his head, "Get up, soldier! We have people to rescue!" and slid away on his belly.
Vince groaned, "I REALLY need to re-negotiate that contract..."
Two of the items you seek are beyond blocked passageways. There are monsters you can trick into helping you.
"Yeah, thanks," Vince called up to nowhere, as he usually did in response to Charmaine's cryptic messages. Keyword cryptic, because there were no monsters in sight of the two ten foot warriors. Then, as almost expected, big-headed Kosmo appeared.
The large head jeered at them, "Ha! You little morons will NEVER be able to get past I cooked up down here! Why don't you just turn around and go home like the little chickens you are!" He jeered, before he disappeared, quivering in fear, when Vince removed one of his pins. The doll scoffed and took off.
There were five doors, two of which were blocked. The paths they needed to go down: One clearly identified as the propeller room, the other most likely the old lab. One lead back to the lab, which lead them being tossed over the edge of the balcony again, while one of the others lead to a room with two wheels and a lot of water. But hey, at least they got a voodoo power out of that first one.
The final passage lead to another room. This one had two levers, one of which hidden behind a grate. Vince pulled the first one, for them to be alerted by Charmaine that the 'wheels are turning'. Quickly deciphering this message, they headed back to the water wheel room, where they flipped another switch. This switch, they quickly realized, opened the grate, where they pulled yet another switch.
"This is getting monotonous," Vince complained.
Skipper rolled his eyes and went back into the main tunnel, where he climbed downward destined platforms to reach the top of another area. This area held only another switch, which made Vince groan. Again, he was thoroughly ignored. With the switch pulled, several trapdoors opened, allowing for the escape of some armadillos which exploded. Thankfully it was Vince that exploded, not Skipper.
Vince, once again, groaned, "I REALLY, REALLY need to re-negotiate that contract!"
"Get off your burlap, soldier! We've got to move ahead!" Vince stared upward, to see the two blocked passageways had now been uncovered.
"How did you-?"
"Those armadillos were idiots. They just rolled into the doors and blew them up!" Skipper turned around, "Hmm, we'll need to move quickly. I vote we split up. You take the Propeller Chamber, I'll take the lab. MOVE OUT!"
Skipper slid off without another word. Sighing, and praying there was no water in the next chamber, Vince moved on, into the broken doorway. Behind him, several armadillos rolled into walls, exploding pointlessly.
…
Goodbe...