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Here we meet the Tinman...
Finally, finally we were on the move.
Getting the car windshield replaced had been the biggest challenge. Oz did have cars but they were the old, boxy type with flat panes of glass for a windshield so to get my car fixed, we had to go with this company that does custom designed and fitted windows and that had took forever – plus, it was expensive as hell for which I have Scarecrow to thank since he was the only one with any money. I sat at the wheel, looking out through the new windshield/window. They actually did a pretty good job. The only flaw was that the glass wasn't completely smooth and had small dents and curves that distorted the view but only slightly.
Dorothy was sitting beside me, toggling the music, turning the volume on and off and flipping through CD covers with a fascination I wasn't sure to make of. But I had to say, I kind of liked her taste.
'GO GIRL, IT'S YO BRITHDAY!
'OPEN WIDE, I KNOW YA THIRTSAY!'
'SAY AHHHH!'
"It's like the dentist." said Dorothy with the most bewildered look on her face as the heavy bass beat filled the car.
"Hm?"
"He says 'say ahhh'. That what my dentist says to me!"
"Hah, you're right." So she has a sense of humour.
"And how to does he make the music? It doesn't sound like any instrument I've heard before."
Sounds like you haven't heard much. "Well most of its computerized."
"Computerized?" she asked, the word sounding awkward as she said it.
"Yeah like techno."
"Oh….."
"Well actually this isn't techno, it's just rap or something – I mean it has a lot of computerized stuff in it but it's not techno." Dorothy blinked in response. Did she get it?
I decided to keep my eyes fixed on the road, watching the yellow bricks as they seemed to be almost moving toward me and disappearing under the car. It was early in the morning and the sky was overcast with white, allowing a cold, greyish, white light to filter through the clouds which seemed to tint everything grey and cold…..But I kind of liked it; it had a rather solemn feel to it.
"Miss Becky may I suggest we take a moment to air out the car?" said Scarecrow from the back.
"Oh yeah, sure." Now that he mentioned it, I could actually smell some of the disinfectant.
I glanced at the rear-view mirror at Scarecrow. I still couldn't get over how damn funny he looked….or maybe not funny but un – scarecrow. His original cloths were bloody and discarded so he was still dressed in navy pants, a white collard shirt and that black blazer/jacket thing….and his cone shaped hat which made him look like such a parody of a Scarecrow especially when he was sitting in the back of a car with his chin cupped in his gloved hand and gazing out the window….
"Becky, look!" said Dorothy over the stereo. I reached over and turned it off.
"Right, right."
"No you're steering's fine. I meant the apples!" When I actually looked at the trees along side either side of the Road, I could catch glimpse of red between the green leaves. I was surprised Dorothy was able to notice it. "May we stop by?" she asked.
"That's actually a good idea." agreed Scarecrow without taking his eye off the window. Is it just me or have I developed a position of authority over these two? Or is it just because I'm driving that my approval over everything is required? I pulled up at the side of the road without a word and stepped out followed by Dorothy and Scarecrow.
"Can we leave the doors open?" asked Scarecrow.
"Uh….sure." Why are you asking me? For a moment, I actually considered asking him but then decided against it. I stepped onto the grass, noticing how significantly softer it was than brick and arched my back to stretch. I felt heavy and the sudden purity in the air was making me nauseous so I started walking, looking up at the apple trees and the whole scene. Usually apple orchards are regarded as cheery places with people merrily gathering apples and such but today, with the sky white with clouds, the orchard was coloured coldly, the apples glinting with dull white light….a new concept – the sullen apple orchard. It was chilly too, I could see goose bumps on my skin but I found kind of liked the atmosphere.
I kept walking with my hands in my pockets, watching my feet as they barley left the ground and the brown, spiky shaped leaves crunch and crumble as I stepped on them with those damned Ruby Flats or Slippers or whatever it is. I didn't even want these shoes! First they were uncomfortable to walk in – or maybe it was because I'm unstable in flats? And they were making a main target for the Witch…..
Wait, why did Glinda the Good stick me in these shoes in the first place? Why couldn't she hand them over to some military group for protection instead of some foreign, unarmed kid? Fuck, I could have saved myself so much trouble if I just asked!
"Damn Glinda –"
"Mmph!"
I jumped at the noise and instinctively spun around to face a statue. It was a silver metal statue with an axe in the air.
"….the hell is this?" I muttered out loud. It had a detailed face like in the statue portraits of famous people where you could see the creases of skin around the eyes and the realistic, square, slightly triangular jaw, the snub nose and the crinkles in the lips. It was wearing a hat like the one Scarecrow had but this one was silver and more robotic looking. But it couldn't have made that noise could it? It was creepy.
Mmmmph!" It said with urgency. I jumped back, my heart leaping. For a moment I just stood there frozen, staring stupidly at the thing wide eyed and stunned into blankness.
"…" I replied.
"Mmmmph!"
Now which seemed more likely? I thought after a minuet of silence. The statue was alive and attempting to communicate or I was going crazy due to killing a tyrant by traveling to another world and dropping a house on her, then taking her shoes and as a result being hunted down by a homicidal green woman who I ran over and nearly killed? I must be losing it.
"Mmmmrph!"
I spun on my heel, my knees weak from the shock and started to stagger back to Scarecrow and Dorothy, attempting to shake my head clear.
"MMMMRPH!"
Shit, am I going to need to see a shrink for this? I jogged the rest of the way, my stomach heavy and filled with worry for my mental health.
"Becky!" exclaimed Dorothy when she saw me. "Look at all the apples we collected!"
I wasn't in the mood for childish enthusiasm. "Hm nice." I found a rock to sit on and sat there, staring blankly into space. I can't believe I'm actually going crazy! Do things like this wear off?
"So what did you see on your walk?" asked Dorothy.
"Um…..trees'n stuff…." For a moment I considered not mentioning it to avoid further questioning but I figured I do that all the time and what are the odds of them asking? They seemed settled, sitting around and munching their apples. "…..and a statue of like a metal or tin man or something."
Dorothy's eyes lit up to my horror. "Oh that's interesting - can I look?"
You can look. Not us.
"A tin man?" said Scarecrow with what I thought would be interest but his tone was serious.
"Yeah….." I should stick to not mentioning things.
"Perhaps we should take a look. May we?"
Hell no! And why are you asking me? "Uh, well I ….. I….." I didn't have time to think of a good way to refuse.
"It would be nice to go for a walk."
"Uh um, yeah okay."
I led them through the orchard, keeping my head up this time to remember the way, each landmark a step closer to the creepy statue. I didn't want to see it again – it scared me to hell. I should have said no! And yet I continued walking until I ended up near a different section of the Yellow Brick Road and the abandoned cabin. The statue hadn't moved and was still standing in front of the cabin.
"There it is." I said, interrupting Dorothy's chatter. I let them lead the rest of the way and stayed behind Scarecrow, my hands shoved as far down my tight jeans pockets would allow.
"Look Toto. A man made out of tin!"
I still don't get why she talks to her dog like that. I glanced at Scarecrow whose lip was twitching.
"Mmmmph!"
"HOLY – "I clamped a hand over my mouth. The last thing I wanted people to know was that I was losing it.
"You alright?" asked Scarecrow. I looked at the ground.
"Yeah it was….a bee."
Dorothy peered at the Tin man while her dog, Toto or whatever the dog's name was starting barking at it. "Did you say something?" she asked and my head snapped up. Did she just talk to the mumbling statue?
"Mmmmmph!" I think it was starting to get kind of irritated.
"Oh dear I can't tell what you're saying." said Dorothy.
I finally found my voice and looked up at Scarecrow. "You seeing this?"
"Yep." He replied, outrageously casual, his hands in his jacket pockets.
"Mmmmmmrph!"
There must be some kind of lubricant somewhere around here – it's not like a Tin man or whatever it – he was would go off without something like oil. And I wanted to hear what he had to say, it would probably be something like 'great, now oil my joints so I can get the hell out of here!'
"Ooh look an oil can!" said Dorothy who then went over to a stump and took the can that looked like a cylindrical, metal tea pot with a long, thin spout. "Where do want to be oiled first?" she asked. As if he could give an answer.
"How bout his mouth." I suggested and Dorothy obliged, tipping the can like a teapot over the Tin man's jaw joints while Scarecrow and I watched in anticipation.
"M – My goodness I can talk again!" said Tin man which was still shocking. When he saw me his expression immediately darkened. "You! You left me!"
"Um yeah I – I thought…." I am conversing with a statue. "…..I thought I was like losing it or something'n….yeah."
"Well that's not-"
"How did you ever get like this?" asked Dorothy hurriedly. I'll have to thank her for that.
"Well." He took his eyes off me and faced Dorothy. "About a year ago, I was chopping that tree" he nodded toward the tree at his side with a large dent in it where the fresher wood was exposed. "When it began to rain and right in the middle of a chop, I rusted solid! And I've been that way ever since."
Why didn't you get out of the rain?
"Well you're perfect now!" exclaimed Dorothy cheerily, moving his arm up and down, causing the joint to squeak slightly.
"Perfect?" he scoffed bitterly. "Bang on my chest if you think I'm perfect." We stood there, hesitant to oblige, exchanging glances to see who would do it. We didn't even know this guy and he was asking us to hit him. "Go on bang on it!" Finally Dorothy reached out and lightly hit her knuckles on his chest, causing his interior to give a crisp, pronounced echo.
"Nice echo." I said.
"It's empty." He leaned forward as if he was going to tell us a secret. "The tins man forgot to give me a heart."
And does this tins man have a PhD in biomechanics as well?
Dorothy gasped as if appalled by the idea that a living statue should be left without a heart. "No heart?" she exclaimed.
Tin man sighed. "No heart. All hollow." He banged his fist into his chest causing him to stumble backwards and for all three of us to rush forward to catch him. "See when a man's an empty kettle." He explained when we caught up to him, his tone low and mournful. "He should be on his mettle and yet I'm torn apart just because I'm presuming that I could be kind of human if I only had a heart….."
What do you expect us to do about that?
He continued with his explanation "I'd be tender, I'd be gentle and awful sentimental –"
"I'd say you're sentimental." I said and Dorothy shushed me. I was just saying!
"-regarding love and art. I'd be friends with the sparrow and the boy who shoots the arrows –"
You want to be friends with a guy that shoots arrows…..
"- If I only had a heart." He suddenly stood up straight and looked up at the sky, his voice growing more and more passionate to my amusement. "Picture me! A balcony…..above, a voice sings low..." I flicked my eyes toward Scarecrow whose brow was raised. "I hear a beat! How sweet just to register emotion, jealousy devotion and really feel the part – "
Isn't that what the brain does? Register emotion?
"I could stay young and chipper and I'd lock it with a zipper if I only had a heart." He grinned and began staggering forward, his knees constantly locking. He finally made it to the Yellow Brick Road and formed his stumbling into a sort of jig, kicking his legs out. Dorothy stared at him in delight like a child at the circus while Scarecrow and I stood there with question marks floating around our heads. The poor guy was probably just happy to be up and about. After a moment of hopping around, he managed to trip himself up and stumble uncontrollably forward.
"Aw crap." I muttered and ran to catch him followed by Dorothy and Scarecrow. Why doesn't Tin man just sit down?
"Are you alright?" asked Dorothy when Tin man landed sitting on a stump.
"I'm afraid I'm a bit rusty."
Dorothy sat beside him, her eyes bright. "You know what? Why don't you come with us to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart?"
"Whoa back up, back up." I said and Dorothy pouted at me.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Uh well I just thought it would be simpler if Tin man here just hired a tins man to um…..install a heart for him – I mean I don't even know if Glinda scheduled an appointment or not and then there's the Witch'n all that. Like what I mean is that there are so many simpler ways….."
"But what if the tins man doesn't know how?"
"Well…." Since when do people agree to go through so much trouble for total strangers?
"But suppose the Wizard doesn't give me a heart when we got there?" asked Tin man.
"Oh but he will! He must!" replied Dorothy. "We've come such a long way already – "
"We're not even half way there if you're talking about distance –"
BOOM!
There was an explosion at the cabin with red smoke erupting from the roof followed by that tell tale dirty hyena laugh. It was the Witch and I was going to die.
"AHAHAHA…..dammit." She realized she had transported herself onto the roof with no way of getting down. It kind of ruined the whole Witchy effect.
The smoke cleared up and I could see the Witch had white cast over her hand and wrist, leading into her sleeve as well as a cast over her foot which had a metal bit sticking out of the wrapping. I could see under the brim of her hat that her head was covered in stale, greyish looking bandages that dipped to cover her eye and there was a white strip over the bridge of her nose. If this were a cartoon, the Witch would have looked hilarious but she was pissed and stuck on the roof of a cabin.
We watched in amazement as the Wicked Witch tentatively crouched down, wincing slightly as she slid herself off the roof until she was hanging off the edge. She then jumped down, taking the impact on her good leg. I watched dreadfully as she caught sight of me, her eyes blazing and body tensing furiously. She stalked toward me although the limp made her seem a bit less menacing as well as the clinking from the metal sticking out of her cast.
Clink, clink, clink…..
She's going to kill me, she's going to kill me, she's going to kill me…she reached into her bag and shoved a package of papers into my chest. At first I didn't know what to make of this so I stood there stupidly.
"Read it!" she snapped and I looked at the first page, literally reading it but before I could get anywhere the Witch grabbed the papers and flung to the last page before holding it up in my face. "This page."
I looked at it. It was just a bunch of figures and numbers. I scanned over to the bottom where written in bold was what looked to be a total sum.
Total: $500,000
NEST HARDINGS GENERAL HOSPITAL.
A hospital, the one we took her to. Is this what I think this is?
"What…..?" I looked up at the Witch who looked as if she wanted to shoot me then dump me in a pack of wolves…or vampires.
"What do you mean what? What do you think this is?"
No way. "Wait so….this is your medical bill? You want me to pay you're medical bill? Cause there's like no way –"
The Witch exploded. "I AM NOT PAYING HALF A MILLION DOLLARS BECAUSE OF YOURE CARELESSNESS! BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DRIVE!"
I could see up close that her eyes were bloodshot, she was panting slightly and her forehead was shiny with sweat with the effort required to move about. She had also seemed to have lost some color and looked kind of stale. Is she sick?
"W – well yeah but….don't you have health insurance?" That was a stupid question.
"Idiot girl, do you think a company would be willing to accept a Witch as a client?" The Witch took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. When she spoke again, her voice had gone uncharacteristically quiet as if she had suddenly grown tired of yelling or maybe just…..tired. "Do you at least have liability on that thing?"
What's liability? "Um….not here but could I get liability?"
"No. You've already done it."
'I've already done it.' Oh yes I have. "Kay but….what should I –"
"You should pay for it! It's your fault this happened!"
"Yeah but how do you expect me to get half a million dollars! It's not like a can take a loan, I'm supposed to be leaving here!"
Scarecrow stepped forward before the Witch could answer. "And if we don't paythe hospital is going to go after you." The Witch opened her mouth to retort but then closed it. She was silent for a moment her eyes fixed on Scarecrow who stared back at her, glaring at her as if challenging her to retort. Bold guy. To my surprise the Witch seemed to wither under his gaze and suddenly her eyes widened as if in shock. She blinked rapidly and turned her head with an expression of bewilderment. Did she see something?
"Do you have a name, Scarecrow?" she finally asked quietly, refusing to look at him.
"My name?" he asked in surprise or perhaps in shock at the concept of having a name for the thought had never occurred to me. Now I wanted to know.
"Yes." She looked at him expectantly…..hopefully. Or at least that's what I thought.
"I…." he thought for a moment with half hearted effort. "I am known as Scarecrow."
Why did she want to know? Maybe I could ask….nah I don't want to ask but I want to know. No I'm not asking.
"Um I – I have an idea." said Dorothy emerging from behind Tin man, clutching her dog.
The Witch's head snapped in her direction with a glare like a growling lioness, causing Dorothy flinch, her eyes wide. "And who are you? Asked the Witch.
"I – I'm Dorothy Gale, the small and – "
"Just get on with it, girl."
"Yes. Um I….I think maybe we don't have to pay all of it. Maybe a quarter of the amount."
"A hundred and twenty five thousand dollars." I thought out loud. That was still so much! But the Witch seemed to consider it, seeing there were not many options.
"Three hundred and seventy five thousand." The Witch muttered and looked up at us as if for the first time. Defeated and at a loss.
"It's not gonna get much better than that." I said softly. The Witch was silent.
"…..Fine." she said. "Fine send a cheque to my address – Kiamo Ko when you have it."She limped away pathetically before enveloping herself in red smoke and disappearing. I have to admit I felt sorry for her – after all her sister died, she got run over and is now five hundred thousand dollars in debt all in the span of a month because of me.
That's just brilliant.
But at least she forgot about the shoes.
"Excuse me?" said Tin man with the most bewildered expression on his face. "Can someone explain what just happened?"