Warning: Please, look at the bottom for explanations about the Italian words you'll find inside the story. ;)
The Banana's well-known wisdom
After tons of tour dates that follow one another, unrelentingly, all around Europe, there's no more beautiful thing than to come back home and enjoy some more than deserved quietness.
Dominic and Matthew know that very well, as they decide to spend a whole afternoon in total relaxation.
They didn't even unpack their stuff.
Dom walks towards his suitcase just to take a magazine from its pocket.
He bought it at the duty free of Linate Airport, dragged by its title 'Quando La Chioma Chiama', which he didn't understand but the cover and the images inside, with tons of exclusive hairstyles, convinced him to purchase it.
He's been skimming through its pages for at least a couple of hours, loving every male hairstyle his eyes met, as he can't wait to experience and make his lover experience them as well.
He also learned to pronounce in questionable Italian words such as hair, hair dye, hairdresser and highlights.
Dom doesn't hesitate to share with his boyfriend what he has been learning.
However, Matt doesn't seem to pay much attention to him as he's absorbed in listening to one of his beloved albums with earphones, lying down on the floor.
"Mes-sa in pie-ga." Dominic laboriously reads, spelling it out loud on purpose.
Matthew gives in and takes the earphones off.
"Gee Dom, I got the bloody message. There's no need to flaunt so unashamedly that you're faster than me at learning Italian! Only in four months you have learnt so many more words than I've done in almost five years!" the brunet snaps as he turns the stereo off and decides to watch some TV, turning it on to the national channels that amuse him so much.
"But honey, the secret is to start from something you like so you're incited to learn it. So instead of grumbling, think about something you like and start learning Italian from that." the blond advises his partner tolerantly.
"I've already found something I like. As a matter of fact, I can say banana." the brunet strikes back.
"Gee it's such a big effort, isn't it? Thanks a bundle! That word is the same in English." the blond makes him notice, resorting to a patience that he is going to lose.
"Nope, that's not right. The first 'a' is open, just like we say 'fun' or 'gun'." Matt corrects him, as if it was a matter of life or death and repeats that word to Dom, very slowly, to make him notice the difference.
Dominic changes his strategy and decides to go along with Matt.
"You're right Bells, that changes everything." he comments as he's about to go back to his reading, but something prevents that.
For the record, that 'something' is Matt who starts to fidget, convulsing, as he points to the television.
"! THERE'S A FAT BANANA THAT IS WORKING OOOOOOUT!" he screams, way too out loud.
Dom almost falls off the sofa but he manages to balance himself, recover and observe the television, realising with ill-concealed relief that his boyfriend hadn't become insane.
Actually, on the screen there's the cartoon of a banana that is running on a treadmill.
Matthew bursts out laughing madly as he starts to flick through the channels, wishing to see that commercial again and Dominic takes his own cue from that.
He gets up from the sofa and goes back to his suitcase, drawing out from its compartment a leopard print pocket-diary.
"Right. I should look for a Gym nearby," Dom thinks out loud as he takes note of that. "and you'd better follow me there!" He adds, turning to his boyfriend.
"No way, I'm already practising enough." Matt protests.
"Fresh news, Matthew: to raise the awards we win is not practise! Also, the fact that you spend hours on the treadmill I bought you is praiseworthy... if only you switched it on at least once!" the blond snaps.
"Okay, we'll go to a Gym." the brunet gives in before the television rewards him with what he's been waiting for, even more than what he expects.
"Doooooooooooooom! Now there's a customer banana with a beautician banana!" Matt exclaims as he goes into ecstasies, but at least this time he doesn't scream. It's an important achievement.
Dominic glances at the screen and opens his diary again.
"I also have got to go to a beautician." he says as he takes another note.
"Of course, because you need it, yeah. C'mon love, you are already beautiful, beyond possible!" Matt praises Dom as he stares at him with adoring eyes.
Dominic confines himself to thank him with a bright smile and a kiss that the blond blows to his lover.
"Yeah, that's true. Actually, I just pretend I need that kind of cure. So I give job to the people around me."
"My dear, altruistic Dommy!" Matt smiles at him, staying tuned to the previous channel and after a few other commercials, it proves to be the right choice.
"Dom! Now there's a banana that's having a sunbaaaath!" the brunet giggles, happy like a child.
This time, Dom doesn't even bother to look at the screen.
"Uh, right. I also need a sunbath." he takes note. "And you'll have one as well." he decides, turning to Matt.
"No way, I'm alright." Matt protests once again.
"You're so pale that compared to you, a vampire seems a Californian surfer!" Dom teases his partner.
"No, please, not again with the vampire remarks!" the other snorts.
"But you like it!" Dom insists.
"Only occasionally but right now I do not like it. However, you'll have your precious sunbath all alone. Period." Matt states resolutely, before reaching his lover on the sofa.
"Anyway, can't you see? Thanks to three commercials with bananas, you made three important decisions. Like I always say, there's a lot to learn from bananas." he changes the topic with a calmer tone as he wraps his arms around Dom's waist.
"What? Are you planning to write a song about that?" Dominic makes fun of him as he loses himself into his boyfriend's embrace.
"No bloody way." the singer replies as he caresses Dom's hair. "I was thinking about making a whole concept album about it!" he informs him.
Dominic jolts and lifts his gaze to peer at Matt.
"It's a joke, isn't it? Please Matthew, tell me it is a joke!" he implores his mate.
"Of course it's a joke, if only you could see your face right now!" the brunet dampens down, as he had burst out laughing.
"You almost gave me a heart-attack!" the blond grumbles, before calming down and relaxing into Matthew's arms.
- Gee, why doesn't anyone understand me? 'The Banana's well-known wisdom' would be such a perfect title for the album... and I could already picture in my mind the lay-out... - the frontman thinks, a little bit disheartened.
THE END
I know, I know, it's really absurd.
However, here's the commercials that drives 'this Matt' so crazy, lol (don't mind at the audio, it's just an Italian advertising saying 'don't you even dare to try if you weren't born a …*that branded banana* ;) )
http:/ www. youtube. com/ watch?v= rt0I0Efb3h8 (commercial banana treadmil)
http:/ www. / watch?v= LjqgS1fEYkM&feature=related (commercial banana sunbath)
http:/ /www. youtube .com/watch?v = Cg0NZlDnOvk& feature= related (commercial banana beautician)
here's the explanations for the Italian Words:
- 'Quando La Chioma Chiama ' literally means 'When Hair Calls ' , but it's a pun, it's like saying 'When Hair's on air ' ;) . Btw , this magazine DOESN'T exist at all! :D
- " Mes-sa in pie-ga. " , i.e. messa in piega means 'hairstyle ' ;)
That's all.
Hope you'll like it, but feel free to tell me everything. Even 'Quit, bloody quit it ' or 'Stop being so stupid ' is feedback, lol ! ^^
Don't miss next update, there will be one of the funniest shots ;)