Yeah, the last chapter was sort of a filler cuz whats happening with Becky is meant to be straight forward (She meets 3 people and goes to the Wizard) while what's going to happen with Elphaba will get complicated so I have to keep things in time...somehow.
But anyway enjoy!
We had reached the check point at the border of Munchkinland at around noon the next day and were blown away by the fuss our arrival had created. It seems Morrible had summoned the local militia to escort us to the center of Munchkinland with a whole series of frivolous displays. There were carriages with silver wheels led by white horses with green ribbons in their tails and pudgy, wealthy looking drivers in green, shiny blazers with top hats, trumpets playing a royal tune and a whole crowd of jolly citizens in their finest dinner wear – pinstripe pants and jackets, exotically coloured dresses and such. They were singing and dancing and waving celebratory flares in the air, cheering us on – even the security people in black, old fashioned automobiles, trailing from behind.
Cheering murder. Don't these people have any idea?
"Bunch of lapdogs." I muttered, surprising myself at the bitterness in my voice. I could sense Dorothy, Scarecrow and Tinman all exchange glances behind me.
I drove on, looking straight ahead along the Yellow Brick Road and the happy, innocent, bloodthirsty citizens of Munchkinland, on either side of the Road, leading all the way to Central Munch and the stage Morrible and us were supposed to meet. We got to the site, crowded with people who made a path for the car to pass through to the stage where Madame Morrible and Glinda the Good stood side by side. I didn't know Glinda was going to be here. I could ask her about the shoes!
We stepped out of the car to be bombarded with flashing cameras, causing us to squint as we made our way forward. This whole speech thing had better be worth it.
"Ah, our dear saviours," said Madame Morrible. "How kind of you to join us."
"Yeah." I muttered and looked up at Morrible for the first time. She had a squat figure like a pumpkin and had a face that sort of bulged out at the jaw and eyes giving her a look like a bulldog…..or piranha. I wondered what she might have looked like when she was younger.
"Oh it's our pleasure to come Madame." said Dorothy with exaggerated brightness and glanced at me stiffly.
I stepped up onto the stage with my hands in my hoodie pockets, indicating my uneasiness as the Ruby Slippers sparkled in the dull white light that filtered through the cloudy sky. These damned shoes – they were root of all these problems. It was the shoes the Witch was after and had caused her to terrorize me, it was the shoes that led her to follow me into the apple orchard to be struck by my car. And now because of that, I owe the Witch half a million dollars which I'm not even taking full responsibility for! And I can't even think of one good reason for me to be the keeper of the shoes! In fact, I can think of every reason for me not to! I killed the Witch's sister, I'm a foreign, unarmed child being forced to travel boldly across the country with a minivan in a place with antique automobiles. Yet I still carry the burden of the Witch's shoes.
What the fuck was Glinda thinking?
I turned my gaze away from the shoes and towards Glinda in her gowns waving at the crowd to quiet down with that stupid grin on her face. For a moment she turned away from the Munchkins and looked to smile at us, perhaps to reassure us for the crowd was huge. Dorothy, Scarecrow and Tinman beamed back at her and I stood with my hands in my pockets, steaming. For a moment, Glinda met my gaze and froze at my expression. She looked shocked, her eyes wide, her lips pressed together and her skin white as ever. She quickly looked away while Morrible addressed the crowd.
"Citizens of Oz," she boomed through the microphone while Glinda looked straight ahead. "We are in the midst of a crisis – a time of terror due to the Great and Terrible Wicked Witch of the West!" she paused as the crowd erupted then settled. "But today we shall put aside our fears and celebrate the disposal of the Witch of the East and the near defeat of the Witch of the West at the hands of our young heroes who will now tell the tale of their braverism!"
Three four of us on stage exchanged glances to see who would talk. We should have rehearsed this!
"Um well as you know, I'm Becky Johnson." I said, feeling awkward. I glanced at Morrible who smiled and motioned for me to continue."And uh….yeah it all started when I…." Murdered. "When my house happened to land on the Witch of the East and Glinda handed me her shoes."
"Your shoes." Said Morrible.
"That originally belonged to the Witch of the East. Her sister wanted them and uh that's what started all this mess….the shoes." I could see out of the corner of my eye Glinda fiddling with her wand.
"That must be quite frightening for you, upsetting the Witch." The crowd murmured in agreement. I resisted the urge to slap a palm over my face. Upsetting the Witch – what did they expect? I killed her sister, stole her shoes, ran her over and gave her a half a million dollar debt! The stupidity of these people! They cheer murder, worship bubbly airheads, agreeing with every word spoken by their leaders without questions. It was enough to drive me insane!
I killed her sister then ran her over and gave her a half a million dollar debt. It would be weird if she had no reaction. "Well if you think about, I…." killed. "I disposed of her sister then ran her over so um the fact that she's pissed is sort of…not surprising really."
The crowd was silent, staring at me while contemplating this new concept that the Witch's actions – however outrageous were justified. I down looked at the overly dressed Munchkins. I couldn't help but to think of them as a bunch of little people, the size of children with the long, sharp faces of adults and the mentality of lapdogs. They were all staring at me, their little mouths curved off to the side, their little brows furrowed and their little eyes shiny and disapproving. They were scowling at me at me. What did I say?
I looked to the side to see Glinda fiddling with her wand, wringing it in her hands and causing pink sparkles to float to the stage, her eyes darted from side to side while Morrible's grin seemed frozen on her face…like someone with botox.
"You must be afraid of her though aren't you?"
"Well I…..I guess…if she'll has time to worry over me – or uh no um well …move to strike that." If it goes public the Witch owes half a million dollar's, I'm dead.
The whole atmosphere went silent with crickets chirping in my imagination. I decided to trudge on with the story before anyone could intervene with some embarrassing comment. I was awkward.
"And yeah I kept going along the Yellow Brick Road and ran into the Witch – quite literally - like she popped out of nowhere while I was driving and whack!" I paused to see my effect on the crowd. They just stared at me. "And then I met these people." I pointed at Dorothy, Scarecrow and Tinman. "And that brings us current."
Who cares if it's out of order? They'll never know.
Morrible stood at a loss for a moment before speaking. "…..Well that's quite a….story, being pursued by the evil Witch of the West all that time."
I shrugged. "She hasn't killed me yet….and I almost killed her which is actually kinda ironic." I have to stop thinking out loud. Morrible looked at me, her eyes lowered and her mouth pressed into a thin line strewn sloppily across her face. I grinned back at her, not knowing what to think.
"LET THE JOYOUS BE SPREAD THE WICKED OLD WITH AT LAST IS DEAD!"said Glinda loudly – obnoxiously and out of place into the microphone, causing it to screech. Morrible glared at her.
Glinda's outburst was the kick to send us out of our circle of awkward exchanges. The soldiers, trumpet people and all other entertainers took the statement as a cue to continue with the parade. Glinda and Morrible led us away down the glittered steps. I took this as a chance to speak to Glinda.
I decided on formality. "Miss Glinda the Good?"
"Yes my dear?" she kept her gaze on the crowd, speaking while maintaining that stupid grin and waving.
"I was thinking to have a word with you after the…." What was that anyway? A speech? A talk? "After we finished talking'n stuff."
"What for?"
"I have a couple of questions to ask you." You idiot. But I don't know that come to think of it. What if she actually had a legitimate reason to stick me with these shoes? Glinda paused as if considering but then to my relief turned to Morrible and pointed over her shoulder to signal we were leaving. Morrible nodded and quickly turned to face the crowd.
"This way dearie." said Glinda and led me away. I thought we were just going to a corner to talk but instead I got led around block to an automobile…..a hot pink, boxy automobile with glittery, silver lining around the windows. Actually, it looked like a 1930's style Cadillac.
"Nice car." I muttered as Glinda got into the drivers seat and motioned for me to sit next to her. She had a white, leather jacket folded neatly in her seat which she put on, fussing over it, tugging the cloth this way and that and constantly sending glances in my direction like a child intending to hide something they snuck into the folds of their clothing. But she was just fussing being a famous public figure and all that.
She reached up to press her fingers against her ear as if adjusting some sort of ornament.
"We'd have to drive fast to save time. I hope you don't mind." Said Glinda finally
"No, no…" she started the car and kept it going at a steady pace. I sat back waiting for her to speed it up. But she kept it that way. "Hey how fast are we going?" I asked.
"Oh about 60 kilometres an hour. Is that too fast?"
"No, no….where are we going?"
"Morrible made a reservation for you and your friends at a hotel."
"Oh thanks. Uh for how long?"
"Only a week – "
"A WEEK!"
"You're free to check out whenever you like."
"Oh good." Thank god for that! We drove; 'speeding' down the cobbled street just past what looked to be a residential area full of large houses with trimmed lawns and black, metal gates. It looked like Beverly hills except the miniature dogs looked like German Sheppards compared with people here walking them. Finally, after about twenty minuets of driving we pulled up across the street from what looked to be another large house without any significant difference to the other ones. It was actually a nice place but nothing like what I'd chose to live in.
It had a black metal barred gate that led to a cobble drive way and up to a bunch of granite steps with Greek looking pillars at either side. Glinda strode through the grand double doors, her head held high as the few people in the waiting area looked up, pointing at her excitedly. I followed her through another set of doors into what looked to be a lounge with a green carpeted floor, tables, easy chairs and all that you'd find in a living room…..except the TV and stereo system were replaced with a stage and a live performance of string players.
Above the stage area was a painted portrait of a young woman with sharp features, straight, red hair and pale skin. She seemed to look down on the room in a superior sort of way, smirking down at us like that.
It was a familiar smirk that for a moment sent a shiver of the same kind of uneasiness up my spine. But it couldn't be that could it?
Glinda and I sat across from each other in green easy chairs that made me feel like I was drowning in the material. I felt quite out of place too. The few people here were dressed in classy gowns with shiny, laced hems like something from the 1800s and the men in smart, black suites with huge, splaying collars and black ties…and here I was in navy skinny jeans, a blue T shirt and a black hoodie. And Ruby Slippers.
"So what did you want to say?" asked Glinda.
"Uh well…." Its funny, I've wanted to ask this for so long yet now it feels so awkward. "Did you get any word from the Wizard?"
"Oh well he's…." she brought a hand up to her ear for a moment as if adjusting an earring. "He….our Wizard works in mysteries ways."
I looked at her pointedly. What the hell is that suppose to mean?
"…..and?"
"Well we haven't received word from him I'm afraid but….." she reached for her ear again. "But you know I'm sure he'll be perfectly glad to help."
You've got to be kidding me! "It would be kinda nice to know for sure you know."
"Yes dearie and when our beloved Wizard sends us word, we'll be sure to…..to let you um know…is that all?"
"No. About the shoes um….." how to word this without sounding accusatory? Why did you give me the Witch's shoes when you knew her sister wanted them? It's what started all this mess in the first place. No, that wouldn't fly too well. How about….
"I was wondering why you chose me to carry the dead Witch's shoes around."
"Oh well that's because um….." she reached to her ear again. This whole earring thing was getting ridiculous. "We couldn't let the mean old Wicked Witch of the West have them. They're too powerful to be left in the wrong hands….or feet."
Glinda the Good: The Ozian equivalent of Sarah Palin.
"Right, let me rephrase," I had to restrain my tone from slipping into a bark. How should I rephrase? I can't be accusatory and I can't ask in a way that would allow Glinda to steer around the question…..fuck it, I'm going to be blunt.
I leaned forward, resting my elbows in my lap and crossing my fingers. Glinda seemed to lean back, stiffening. "You chose me out of all the people in Oz to carry the shoes – the shoes that are 'too powerful to be left in the wrong hands."
Glinda tugged at her jacket, having left her wand in the car. "Um yes….."
"You chose a single unarmed, traumatized, foreign kid, who was just dumped in the middle of fairy land over something like Oz's military people or Madame Morrible or someone other than a sixteen year old who just killed a person."
"Um…..um well….."I cut in before Glinda could deflect the question.
"And the Witch of the West is after these shoes right?"
"Yes and we couldn't let her have them so –"
"So why the hell did you think it was a good idea to let a kid keep the shoes while the Witch was after them? I have no defence against a Witch or crazy politician or whatever she is and if I did, I still wouldn't know because I'm not even from here. I mean I can think of so many better people for this sort of thing."
"The Witch of the West probably is – ack!" she suddenly yelped and pressed her fingers against her ear, cringing slightly.
"Something wrong?"
"Oh nothing," She giggled like someone on meth. "I…..I have a migraine."
"In your ear?"
"Yeah. You know I'm going to go take something for it – I'll be back in a moment." she abruptly leapt up, causing something to leap from her jacket collar, a black line leading up to her ear that had been pulled straight for a split second then fell limp across Glinda's shoulder with a circular piece of plastic at the end. Glinda froze in horror of her exposure but then contorted her now white face into a smile.
For a moment I was too shocked to respond and sat there gaping with my mouth hanging open in speechless fury.
"Oh d - don't mind this," she said, her voice rising in terror and lifting the limp cord that led to the back of her jacket collar. "It's a…..new line of earring ….."
Epic. Fail.
"What the fuck - you're wearing a wire!"
"No I'm…." Glinda trailed off.
"Don't give me that!" Now I was on my feet. "It's a cord and an earpiece – I mean what else could that be?"
"An earring?"
"No."
"B – but how do you know? This – " she tugged at the cord. "This is a prototype! They're not meant to be sold for another two years at least!"
"In my world, these things are sold to ten year olds in spy kits!"
Before either of us could get another word out, the main doors were heard to be opened and Dorothy, Scarecrow and Tinman strode into the room. Madame Morrible stood with them like a robot, her smile frozen on her piranha shaped face.
"Ah Miss Glinda!" said Madame Morrible through gritted teeth as she marched towards us, her steps digging into the carpeted floor as if she intended to punch holes through the ground with her stiletto heels. Her shoes really looked out of place on her considering she looked like a piranha…or maybe a tilapia. I tried to imagine her younger, a bit thinner I suppose with longer brown hair, bulging, green eyes…
"To be honest, Miss Glinda," I said as Glinda stood like a deer in headlights at the sight of Morrible. "I was kinda hoping you could take the shoes off of me."
"W-what do you mean?"
"They like literally don't come off."
"WHAT?"
"What do you mean what?"
"Miss Glinda!" Madame Morrible roared as she approached us. "A word with you in private." She grabbed Glinda by the wrist and began to drag her out the door. I turned to watch them leave, unable to find the nerve to call out to Glinda in hopes of continuing our discussion for it had taken a crucial turn. But Glinda was already halfway to the door, looking back at with a mixture of shock and horror at her mistake. She was being tugged backwards, stumbling over her heavy gown, her pink heels slipping and sliding across the marble foyer with the earpiece dangling foolishly out of her jacket collar. Then she was out the door.
Damn, I should of gotten her cell number…..does Oz have cell phones? I wonder if Glinda has a card. I sighed heavily and turned my attention to the portrait. That woman looked so familiar….
"That's my wife." said an elderly man's voice beside me.
"Oh," I replied. "Are you two the owners?"
"It's just me now. She died. She and my second daughter." I heard him sigh. "This was once my home you know."
"Oh…..um sorry."
"You should be."
"Wha – Oh my god, what the hell."
Standing before me was Frexpar Thropp.
Madame Morrible paced up and down the carpeted floor of her private suite, wringing her hands in worried frustration. The 'meeting' had completely failed beyond any failure Morrible had ever experienced. Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong; Morrible had been counting on the girl to be a nervous wreck, expecting to be murdered any second and jittery as a threatened rabbit but instead she talked awkwardly and was calm stating 'she just popped out of nowhere while I was driving and whack!' She had even admitted to her offences which was most horrifying for it implied that the Witch's actions, however outrageous were justified. She even seemed to pity the Witch!
And then came the meeting with that bubbly bimbo Glinda. It seems the girl had a fair amount of brains and wasn't at all naïve like the rest of Oz's population…..except the Witch. The girl was analytical regarding the Wizard's decision to leave her with the shoes and came at Glinda at every angle, challenging Morrible and Glinda's ability to keep up…then the wire came loose.
Morrible sighed in realization of what she now must do to maintain the Witch's reputation and set Oz straight again.
She was going to have to spy on the Witch and capture her in a moment of outrage.
So what did ya think?