thanks to my reviewers! you guys can email me or add me on msn or whatever, i kinda don't mind. lol as long as you introduce yourself, you can email me or anything! I'll try to respond back as quickly as possible.

thanks to my reviewers-

shadowed crescents- lol well that would kinds ruin the story...you'll have to wait and see if she does fall in love with him! sora...he's not a big character in this story cuse i kinda dont like him..don't get me wrong sora's cool and everything but he annoys me a little.

kingdomheartsloveandnaruto- thank you! here it is!

Rujutoshi- lol yeah cuse then namine is just...yeah. well i love your roxas story! your main character's name is like Kirux right? lol and mine's Kirai and then there's Kairi...ahh so confusing --

Rachelle -thank you!

inuyashaHELP- of course i know about naruto and inuyasha! i love'em! yeah true...guys with silver hair are hot...but don't forget about blondies! i LOVE my ed form fullmetal alchemist! lol also another hot guy to add for the silver hair is Hitsugaya form Bleach...gaaahhh he's soo HOT!. (fangirl moments there)

Alchemistangel- hope you liek this chapter!

toyBOX- thank you! yeah i felt bad for her too..i don't like xemnas...

Mission 5

What Xemnas said was true. I wasn't supposed to have feelings but what about a nobody that was created out of an emotion? Could I be special then? Could I be special like Naminé? I hated just being a nobody. I hated Sora, rage was the only emotion I could trigger so well. I had encountered Sora many times before, as Ren'ai and myself. it was Sora who had told Ren'ai Xemnas was controlling Riku because of Sora…I was here to begin with. Then as a nobody, I confronted Sora.

I had told him that it was his fault I was a nobody. I had told him Ren'ai lost a piece of herself because of him. Sora helped create me, then he wouldn't take me to Kingdom Hearts so I could be whole? He doesn't understand what it's like to be fake. He was always supposed to exist but I wasn't. I had no real existence. He thinks he can just get rid of us? the world isn't black and white and his ignorance upsets me. Riku was no better, I couldn't trust him.

I was in my room now, I sat on the floor next to my bed staring at the wall. That wall was the only thing separating Roxas and I. I felt as though I needed to speak with someone but I couldn't trust Roxas, he was Sora's nobody. I sighed and lay on the floor. I was still in my black cloak and I had no intention of taking it off soon. It was pretty early in the morning, about 2 am but I couldn't sleep, I was restless.

'Maybe I can trust Roxas, I feel like I can…'

I really needed someone to speak with so I walked outside and knocked on his door lightly. No answer, Ren'ai's memories with Riku were flooding into my mind.

'She must be thinking about him' I said to myself.

I placed my head on the door and sorrow overcame me. I knocked again and this time, Roxas opened the door. He looked as though he had just awakened. He had on a large shirt and boxers. I blushed and looked away.

"I'm sorry, I woke you up. It's late, I'll just go."

"Kirai, you look upset. What happened? You can come inside."

I looked at Roxas's face and saw he was being sincere. I nodded and sat on the floor when I entered. More of Ren'ai's memories and thoughts were flashing in my mind. I suddenly wanted to be loved just as Riku loved her. I stared at the floor, begging for the memories to stop.

"What's wrong Kirai? Are you ok?"

Roxas kneeled down next to me and bent down to look into my eyes. I looked into his kind one and realized he did resemble Sora. Ren'ai must have been in an unstable emotion state because tears gathered in my eyes and a pain erupted where my heart would be. Roxas tried to reassure me, he held my hand and said,

"It's going to be alright. You'll get through this."

"Why does…he have to love her so much? Why does she care so much for him?" I whispered.

Full-fledged tears were now streaming down my cheeks. Roxas then embraced me. He held me tightly as my eyes opened wide in shock.

"Roxas?" I asked.

"It's going to be okay Kirai. Please don't be sad. Friends are supposed to be there for one another aren't they? I'm here for you…"

I closed my eyes and hugged him back. He was so warm, so caring. A feeling Ren'ai had experienced so much from Riku overcame me. The feeling of someone being kind to you. I pulled away form him and smiled through the tears in my eyes. I somehow felt closer but farther from Ren'ai.

"Thanks Roxas, you're a great friend."

Roxas laughed then asked,

"You think so?"

I nodded my head and I looked away as I said,

"Um…you're not fully dressed. I can wait outside for you to get your pants on. O/O"

(A/N- O/O is a facial expression. It is supposed to resemble blushing.)

Roxas hadn't really noticed he was only in his boxers, so he blushed lightly and shook his head,

"You've already seen me so it's no big deal."

I laughed and stood up. I grabbed Roxas's wrist and pulled him up as well. I looked over to his bed and asked him,

"Do you mind if I sit?"

"No it's alright."

I thanked him and sat on his bed, Roxas pulled up a chair and began to talk.

"It hurts, doesn't it? When their memories haunt you…"

I smiled sadly and muttered a yes.

"I don't like the feeling either. Makes you feel as though you're a fake."

Silence past through us. I didn't want to believe it but I had to ask.

"Roxas." I stopped. He looked at me, signaling I could go on.

"I wanted to know if you're…Sora's nobody."

"Yeah, I am." His response was quick but cold.

Roxas almost looked sad when he said it. I forced a smile, he was nothing like Sora. Roxas was kinder and more understanding.

"It doesn't matter who's nobody you are. You're different."

I tried to make him feel better, this was a sore subject for nobodies. We never wanted to remember our other self. We despised them for creating us. I said good night to Roxas and retreated to my room. I still couldn't sleep her thoughts wouldn't go away.

'I have to find Riku.'

I walked out of the mansion and made my way through the forest. I opened a portal to where I last saw him, the beach. It was night and no one was around. I squinted my eyes as I saw a figure about 20 feet away. I realized it was a person, sitting on the sand staring at the water.

I approached the person and saw it was Riku. I sighed and walked over to him where the moonlight made his hair shine. I sat next to him.

"You're still here?" I asked.

"I thought you didn't talk to traitors." He said back, coolly.

"I got angry, sorry. I didn't mean it."

I didn't really mean what I had said back then. It was Diz that made my angry. I guess Riku was being nice or was it Ren'ai's feelings that affected my mind?

"I want to see her again."

Of course, he meant Ren'ai. He loved her so much, I felt a little jealous. I guess Riku really wasn't a bad person, he just got himself into bad situations. Maybe I could help Riku, maybe I wouldn't fade from existence.

I laid on the sand and stared at the moon.

"I just want to be real."

Riku looked over to me and gave me a questioning look. He obviously didn't understand what I meant. He was a real person after all. All I knew was that he couldn't trust Xemnas, hadn't he learned that before? I guess he cares too much for Ren'ai. I didn't like her though. She was always happy, too happy. She was a perfect life up until she decided to open her heart to the darkness.

"Okay, I'll help you. On one condition."

Riku turned and nodded his head to signal he agreed.

"Promise me…You'll teach me how to love someone."