I can't update alot for a while or put up my thanks to reviewers, i have a HUGE project to do so i don't have much time.

Mission 6

"You want to learn how to…love someone?" Riku asked.

"Y-yes. I do."

Riku was utterly stunned. 'Why would a nobody want to learn how to love?' he thought. Then he smiled, Kirai reminded him so much of Ren'ai. That look on her face, when Ren'ai wanted to learn something, she'd do it and get it on the first try.

"But…why?" Riku asked, even though she was a part of Ren'ai, Kirai was a nobody, she wasn't supposed to have feelings right?

"I…" I closed my mouth. What could I say? I wanted to feel love, experience it? I wanted to feel human? Riku would laugh, so would everyone else. Nobodies are not supposed to feel anything, even if I tried I probably wouldn't be able to capture the true nature of the feeling.

"I…want to experience the feeling Ren'ai always has. I hate her for being able to live life so fully. I hate her for creating me."

Riku sighed sadly, he loved Ren'ai, why couldn't I do the same? He looked at the water and sat besides me. He looked at though he was thinking, considering my offer. Maybe he didn't want to teach a nobody how to love. Maybe he thought it was hopeless.

"Okay, I'll teach you as long as you help me find her."

I looked at Riku when I noticed the sadness in his voice as he trailed off in that sentence. When would I be able to feel sadness for another human? Then I doubted myself, I wasn't supposed to have feelings, would this even work? I asked Riku because he would be the most likely to trigger an emotion such as love. If Ren'ai loved him, then maybe some of her emotions would seep into me. Maybe I could truly have a heart then.

"Well…" Riku started.

"Love is when you care deeply for someone else, when you'll sacrifice for him or her. It's hard to explain. You'll know you're in love when you experience it. Love can also be expressed in different forms. There are certain actions of endearment humans use. You probably know some of them."

I sat up and looked over the water, the sun was slowly become clear but no one would miss me so I didn't bother to return anytime soon.

"When you and Ren'ai's lips met, right? And when you held hands?"

Riku looked at me, alarmed.

"You can see her memories? You've seen us together and when she was…when I knew where to find her?"

I nodded my head and he shrugged it off, his surprise clearly gone.

"Yeah, that's what people do when they're in love."

I was still curious on how I could 'fall in love', maybe there was certain requirements. The subject was really unknown to me.

"How do people fall in love?"

Riku hesitated before he answered,

"Well…I think when you find the perfect person for you."

"Oh…" I couldn't really say anything. I had no comment on the subject.

Riku stood up as the sun was climbing over the horizon, lighting up the scenery around us.

"Look, the only way I can think of is well, acting like we're in love. Maybe that would trigger something. I don't know the exact nature of nobodies."

I also stood up and brushed the sand off. I looked at Riku and he had a shy look in his face. I remembered that we had to act like we were in love. I had no idea what to do. Riku stepped closer to me. Our faces were a foot apart when he said,

"I'm going to kiss you, alright?"

"Sure, okay."

Riku moved towards me, I didn't really know what to do so I just stood there. He placed his hand on my shoulder and he closed his eyes. I could feel his breath, his warmth. I had never been this close to someone, save for falling on Roxas. Roxas…

'I wish I could learn to love someone like Roxas…'

Riku's lips met mine. I felt his warm lips as they were pressed against mine. My eyes were still open but they slowly closed. Riku's eyes were closed so I guess that's what you're supposed to do. He slowly pulled away; I was puzzled as how this was an affection of love.

"Did you feel anything?" Riku asked.

I nodded my head no. I couldn't feel anything, not a spark or anything. Maybe nobodies couldn't learn to love. We said our good-byes and I trudged off to my hell bound mansion. I walked towards my room without looking twice at Roxas's door. I had nothing to talk about but I didn't feel like speaking anyway. I didn't feel depressed, it's just that…I didn't really feel anything.

I took off my shoes and laid on my bed, I dug my head under a pillow but I could still hear the knocking on my door.

"Come in" I mumbled.

I heard the door open and close quietly but I didn't look back. Someone sat on my bed and then is when I turned. Roxas was looking out of my window.

"I saw you with Riku…"

I blushed.

"Wha-? What? Um…You don't understand, I don't like Riku…"

Since when do I blush?

"I saw what you did."

I couldn't respond to that. It's true I wanted to learn something, but did I make Roxas upset? Nobodies aren't supposed to have feelings but maybe Roxas is special. Maybe being Sora's nobody makes him unique, the very thing I wanted to be.

"Have I upset you?" I asked.

Roxas didn't answer. He looked out of the window in an attempt to understand the feeling inside of him. There was a slight pain where his heart should be. He felt angry with Riku, Riku shouldn't have been speaking to Kirai at all.

I suddenly thought I understood. The feeling when Ren'ai didn't have Riku by her side. I think she said it was sadness? I sat up and my body moved without my thinking. I embraced Roxas and buried my face in his shoulder.

"I...he said he would teach me how to love…I just wanted to know what it felt like…but I didn't feel anything."

When I looked up again the glint in Roxas's eyes returned. He faced me and told me not to worry, that he wasn't upset. We stared outside my window for what seemed like an eternity.

A week later

Riku and I have been meeting almost every night. Until recently, he had been teaching me and explaining this thing he called 'making out'. I didn't know why it was called that way but it was something about using my tongue. I felt it strange and uncomfortable. I usually pulled away and Riku seemed upset every time I did that, I didn't know why.

I had also been meeting with Roxas after coming back from my meeting with Riku. There had been no excitement or anything important for a while now so I didn't find it important to wake up early everyday. Today was no different, it was about 1 am and I was in my room waiting for the familiar knock on my door.

Roxas entered once I said he could. Once he entered we sat on the floor and I discussed what Riku had showed me or told me. Roxas had always seemed uneasy at this but I didn't fully notice until now.

"Roxas, what's wrong?" I asked him with curiosity, I had been thinking for a while now that I had a special connection to Roxas. I had though about maybe pretending I love Roxas and see if that triggered something.

Roxas uttered something in a low voice while staring at the floor; "It's just that…why with Riku? Don't you trust me?"

I looked up at him, maybe I should try with him.

"Of course I do. Okay, I can show you. First close your mouth and close your eyes."

Roxas paused before he obeyed. I was shaking when I inched towards him and slowly closed my eyes when I was 2 inches apart. Our lips finally touched and it felt as though there was something in my stomach, almost like…butterflies.

My mind was racing, I felt complete, whole for the first time. I don't know how long we lingered there but I finally, slowly pulled my lips away from his. I felt my heart beat something I haven't heard before. It sounded like a THUMP-THUMP-THUMP. Could Roxas hear it too? It seemed so loud. My face flushed bright red, I could feel my face was burning.

Maybe that was the first form of a true human feeling I had experienced. The thing that surprised me, I felt it with Roxas, not with Riku, the boy Ren'ai loved.