This is an extra long chapter to make up for the absence of my updates.

Rujutoshi-You reviewed so I'm grateful

shadowed crescents-I actually don't hate Ren'ai or Riku. So I kinda feel bad for her.

Twilight-to-Nightfall- If I have time, I'll read your fic. This is a long chappie, I hope you like it!

Moon-Freak00- lol I know what you mean.

Hippielover459- Ha! I updated soon! Hope you like it!

Roxas324 -I really really like your penname. I love Roxas.

Random Quote of the Day

"Do as I say, not as I do."

-Izumi Curtis from Fullmetal Alchemist

(For those of you who don't know her, she is Ed and Al's teacher)

Disclaimer- I do not own Kingdom Hearts but I own Ren'ai and Kirai. If I owned KH then Sora would have been the one who fades away. Roxas is a much better Keyblade Master. Plus, he doesn't try to seduce Riku. (No offense to any Sora lovers. I like him too but I just prefer Roxas)

Mission 11

"Come on Kirai, I'll get you out of here." Axel said while offering his hand to lift me on my feet.

I stood up and Axel opened a portal of darkness that lead to god knows where. I looked at my own hand, I had tried to summon a portal but it hadn't worked.

"Axel…I can't summon portals anymore. Why is that?" I asked.

Axel turned to me and shrugged, "You can't?"

I shook my head no but Axel just walked towards of the portal he made. I walked after him, wondering where he was going to take me. I entered the darkness and came out of it just as quickly. I opened my eyes to the beach where I used to speak to Riku. A pain emerged where my heart would've been if I wasn't a nobody.

My body felt weak and numb. I fell to my knees crying. The thought of Riku made this feeling wash over me. I was crying and sobbing just like a child would. I covered my face with my hands and wept. Axel came over to me, clearly alarmed.

"What's wrong Kirai? Why are you acting so…human?"

I looked up at him and squinted the tears out of my eyes. Images of Riku flooded into my mind. I longed to embrace him, to see him. I wanted to know where he was, I wanted him to be alright.

"Riku…" I sobbed.

Axel tried to lift me up, but I just fell back down again. I could hear pounding in my ears, my heart hurt. The pain wasn't the sort of pain you'd feel from a cut or bruise but it was more painful. Axel kneeled down besides me,

"What is wrong with you Kirai! You're acting so strangely."

"I-I can't help it…" I managed to choke out from my tears.

Axel just stayed there and waited for me. I soon stopped crying and I was rubbing the tears from my eyes. I looked up at him and smiled, I felt…happy that he had shown me kindness and waited for me. I stood up and hugged him. I heard a sharp intake of air form Axel. He pulled me off and held my shoulders. He looked worried.

"Kirai…or are you Ren'ai?"

"What?" I tilted my head at him and wondered what he was talking about.

"You're acting human Kirai…"

I did feel strange. I hadn't really felt sadness before. When we arrived at the beach, the memories of Riku were painful. How wrong it all went, maybe it could have been different. Maybe it was also because of Ren'ai's feelings towards Riku. Her feelings would obviously influence mine. But it had never influenced mine this much. I don't know…it was all so confusing.

Axel was standing with his back to me, in deep thought. I knew because he had that certain expression on his face that told me so. Suddenly, he spun around and looked at me in a desperate way.

"Kirai, I think you have part of Ren'ai's heart. Yeah, it would all make sense then why you're acting all human." Axel stated.

I quietly muttered,"What? Part of Ren'ai's…"

'I have a heart.'

"Well Kirai you know how troublesome-"

'I have a heart! I can feel emotions!'

"And Xemnas won't approve-"

'I have a heart!'

I yelled out in joy and hugged Axel. I danced around and laughed. I had a heart! I could finally love someone! No more fake emotions for me! I was a nobody with a heart!

"I have a heart! Yeah! Whooo! I have a heart!" I yelled out.

I was truly happy now. No one could tell me that I was simply faking my emotions. They were now real! This happiness I felt now was real! It was my happiness and not Ren'ai's. I had to find Roxas and tell him! He would be so happy for me!

"Hey Axel where's Roxas?" I said with a smile on my face.

Axel turned to me and opened a portal with a nod. While I was walking to the portal I noticed something…strange. Was it just me or did Axel have a apologetic expression on his face? Whatever it was, I didn't pay it mind. I was happy to walk into the portal that would carry me to Roxas. I couldn't wait to see him. I stepped into the portal without regret. When I came out on the other side, I was back at the room where Axel had helped me escape from, or a room that looked just like it.

There was something different about the room thought. On the wall there was a boy in the center, he had his head tilted down and he was sitting with his arms limp and his legs stretched out. He was either dead or asleep. From far away he looked similar to Roxas so I ran as quickly as I could to the boy's side. I touched his shoulder but then I noticed it wasn't Roxas, it was Sora.

"Sora!" I yelled.

I jumped from his side; I hated Sora. He had no compassion for nobodies and I had no compassion for heartless humans. Sora lifted his head slowly to show he had just woken up. He rubbed his eyes and stood up on his feet. He was still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when I yelled,

"You look nothing like him! I wanted to see him not you!"

"Huh?"

Sora looked at him but shrugged and slumped down again, then he sighed; a sigh of sadness.

I tried to summon a portal to get away form the boy I hated. It was still no use, why couldn't I make a portal? In anger, I tried to summon my needles and they appeared by my side.

"I hate you Sora! Why the hell did Axel send me to you?"

"You hate me? Well I won't fight you, you're not a nobody although you do look like that nobody I met before with Riku."

It angered me to hear his ignorance; "I AM that nobody! I'm a nobody you idiot! Stand up and fight me! I don't want to be bothered by your presence!"

"You're a nobody? Why are you acting like a human though? I guess you're a good pretender. But you also have that glint in your eyes…"

I relaxed from my fighting stance and stood upright. Did Sora say I have that glint in my eyes? I sighed and sat down about 5 feet away from Sora on the wall. Sora looked at him and tried to speak to me.

"You know, I never got your name."

"I don't want a pathetic pest that is unworthy to know my name."

"Are you calling me a pathetic pest?"

"No, now I'm calling you an idiotic pathetic pest."

"I don't know why you hate me so much."

I scoffed and chuckled, "You're one of those heartless humans. You can only show kindness to those who you consider are your equal."

"What are you talking about? I'm the one with a heart here!"

That ticked me off. I sent a needle at Sora that stuck itself into the wall, 2 inches away from Sora's face.

"What did you say?" I asked him.

"N-nothing."

Time passed by quietly. I must have fallen asleep at one time because the next thing I remember is Sora waking me up. He shook me and I opened my eyes immediately. I pushed his hands away from me and sat up.

Sora went back to his sitting place and said, "You were calling Roxas's name a lot. Do you know him?"

"Yes."

"Oh…"

I looked back at Sora, he seemed sad. Why would he though?

"I don't hate Roxas. He's just…a reminder for me. My friend Kairi, I let her get hurt and then I took a Keyblade and turned myself into a heartless so that she can get her heart back. Then I was turned back into myself when Kairi hugged me. Roxas is a reminder of that. I always try to protect my friends but sometimes…it just doesn't work."

I looked away from Sora's sad face and into the darkness. Maybe Sora wasn't so bad.

"Roxas is…a wonderful person. He made me feel alive. Sora, will you help me find him?"

'Why did I just say that?'

Sora smiled, "Only if you help me find Riku."

'Why did he agree!'

"I also need to find Riku. I owe him an apology."

"Then it's a deal."

I smiled at Sora and wondered how we were going to escape from this room.

"By the way…where are we Sora?"

The boy stood up and wiped his black shorts, "Xemnas's chamber. It's for prisoners."

'Why the hell did Axel send me into a prison?'

Sora looked at me and asked, "Any idea how to get out?"

I looked at my hand with uncertainty. I hadn't been able to open a portal for some reason I didn't know. Maybe I'll never be able to open portal. Does my half of Ren'ai's heart prevent me from having nobody powers?

"I'll try." I stated.

I lifted my hand, closed my eyes, and concentrated with my entire mind to open a portal to take us to the forest just outside the mansion. I thought that if I couldn't make this, I couldn't find Roxas or Riku. I opened my eyes to find a portal in front of me. I signaled for Sora to follow and he did. Once we came out on the other side, we were at the forest. I looked at the night sky to find out it was night.

"Look Sora, we're going to sneak into the mansion. Alright?"

Sora nodded and we silently walked to the mansion. Roxas's room was on the second floor so I made two platforms of needles. It was strong enough to carry each one person. I told Sora to stand on one and he did. Using wind, I lifted the platforms with us on it to Roxas's window. I knocked silently and I saw Roxas get up from his bed and stare at me with a look of surprise. He ran to the window and opened it.

"Kirai!" He whispered.

"Roxas!"

I threw myself on Roxas; we both fell on his floor. I was hugging him and crying.

"Ow…. Kirai…can't…breathe…"

I apologized and got up from on top of Roxas. We both stood up to notice Sora had climbed inside from the window and said,

"If you guys need your own room, I'll walk out."

Roxas stared at Sora in astonishment, "Sora?"

"Nice Joe boxers Roxas."

Roxas blushed and ignored Sora's comment, "Kirai? What are you doing here?"

"I came to save you! Axel said Xemnas has a plan to use both of us."

"Kirai…you seem different."

"Don't worry about that. We have to get you out of here. It's not safe."

I looked at Roxas; no I looked into his eyes.

"I missed you Roxas…"

I hugged Roxas as tightly as I could. I missed his scent, his voice, and his kindness. I didn't want to separated from him again. My heart felt like it was fluttering and hot tears slid down my cheeks. I wanted to be with him always, always have him by my side. I had been afraid I wouldn't have seen him again when I was with Sora in that prison.

"Kirai…" Roxas smiled and hugged me back.

I pulled away to look at his face. I smiled again and more tears slid down my cheeks.

"Don't cry Kirai…It's alright."

I inched my face closer to his face and our lips met. A fire erupted inside of me and I felt that I was unique. I was no longer Ren'ai's nobody without a heart but I was Kirai. I was my own person with emotions and feelings. We pulled away and I whispered,

"I thought I wouldn't get to see you again."

"Guys?….I'm still here. Could you continue this when I'm not in the room?"

I pulled away from Roxas, I had forgotten Sora was there. Roxas and I laughed at Sora's face. His face showed he wasn't comfortable. None the less, we had to get Roxas out of the mansion. After Roxas got dressed and retrieved his two Keyblades, I lowered Sora into the ground outside the window using my platform of needles. Then I lowered Roxas and lastly, me. When my platform was 5 feet from the ground, Roxas took my hand and I made the wind go under my feet so when I jumped that tiny distance, I floated down.

In silence, we all walked towards the town. We checked in at an inn. Sora was the one who opened the door. He took one look inside and then looked at us and closed the door.

Sora was nervous when he asked us this, "Um, you two like to be with each other right?"

I lifted an eyebrow at Sora's question, "What's wrong?"

Sora chuckled then said, "Well you two will have some nice quality time then."

He opened the door and flicked the light switch on. The room was a vanilla cream color. It had a little kitchen in one corner and a bathroom. Everything seemed normal…

"There's only two beds. Sora, you're gonna sleep on the floor." Roxas said.

I hadn't noticed that there were only two beds in the room. So that's what Sora was jabbering about.

Later that night…

I turned restlessly on my bed. I couldn't sleep for a minute. I sat up and saw Sora snoring on the floor and Roxas on the other bed, the exact same way.

'Heh I guess they are a bit alike.'

I sat there thinking a bit until I grew tired. I laid on my bed and wondered where Riku could be. I couldn't help but feel some worry and regret for Riku. I wondered if he was alright and if he hated me. I also wondered how Ren'ai was. Was she just a heartless wandering around without a purpose? Or had she come back into her human self like the time before? If she did, she would only have half a heart consumed with rage, what a way to live.

"If nothing else, I have Roxas…"

Then just as Roxas and Sora were asleep, I too drifted off.