A/N: here's more, I like Harold and Lillian so this is mostly about them. I know I promised a chapter yesterday, but I had revision work to be getting on with, irl post about 3 chapters today. and Thank you to beautifulwriter29 for reviewing. I don't own shrek. Enjoy.

Chapter 5 – the meeting

Harold woke up, terrified for some unknown reason. He stared over at Lillian who was still sleeping peacefully, he leant over and shook her lightly.

"what is it?" she asked with an annoyed tone. Maybe she was having a peaceful dream and she didn't want to be disturbed. Harold didn't reply. "Harold what is wrong with you? You know you are like a little baby really.." but she was cut off mid sentence as Harold put a finger to her lips.

"really, Lillian, I think you should be the one calming down." He said as he got up off the bed and started to get dressed into a purple tunic.

"me calm down? Harold you are off your head you know! After 25 years of being married, I should have known we'd end up like this" she said, mumbling the last part.

"im sorry? What did you just say? Don't mumble under your breath, even though I am annoyed at your voice moaning on and on and on all these years." He replied.

Lillian walked up to her husband. "aww, cant we just settle this? hmm?" she said sweetly, moving closer to him. Harold smiled but before he could do anything he was thrown back about two yards as Lillian slapped him clean across the face.

"HA!" she said as she walked out of the room without a word.

Charming woke up and looked around. There was his wedding suit and Fiona's wedding dress strewn on the floor along with her underwear and his boxers. He chuckled slightly and looked over at Fiona – who was 'still sleeping like an angel' as Charming thought. He lay back down and sighed which woke Fiona up. She sat up and noticed she wasn't wearing anything and screamed.

Both Lillian and Harold ran into the room. The first thing they noticed was the bombsite of clothes on the floor, then their eyes drifted up to the messy sheets and they didn't have to look anywhere else to realise what dirty things the princess and her new husband had got up to last night.

Harold leaned into Lillian and whispered "I think now's the time to be getting off to breakfast." Lillian quickly and happily agreed and they scuttled off to breakfast leaving Charming and Fiona alone.

"oh great." Fiona said looking at where her parents just escaped.

"well that was embarrassing, eh dear?" Harold said putting his crown into place, aiming it for Lillian to hear but she wasn't listening. "dear?" she turned round to face him.

"for us or for them?" she asked looking at him in the eyes, with a light laugh.

"I reckon both the same." He answered. Lillian sighed and Harold gently took her shoulders in his hands. "come on, they wont bring it up again you know that. But lets just remember that next time when Fiona has her door closed with the 'keep out' sign, we'll know not to enter. Come on, we need to sort the ball out, its 8:00am already!" he said as they ran to where the ball was being held in the castles courtyard.

Fairy God Mother sat in her office staring out of the window waiting fro her son to arrive and soon enough he walked through the door, his hair all over the place, his brand knew armour ruined and his horse looked like it was about to collapse and die. Shrek grunted and took his battered helmet off.

"mummy!" he said suddenly happy.

"Shrekky dear, oh im so sorry." She said sympathetically.

"no mum, its not you. Why should you be sorry? Its that Charming that should be sorry. I am going to make him sorry." Shrek said angrily.

"calm down your still going to be king! Come with me, I have a plan!" she said dragging him into her flying carriage. "lets go Kyle!" she shouted.

Lillian put a hand to her forehead.

"are you ok dear?" Harold said walking over to her.

"yes, er its just I can feel something bad is going to happen… again." She answered as Harold winced at the thought of seeing parts of his daughter and son in law, he really didn't want to see. "but this time, it really is bad" she added. Something went off in Harold's head and he decided he would take a walk alone. As soon as he turned the corner he heard a loud 'whoooossshh' as he turned around he saw something else he really didn't want to see. It was Fairy God Mother.

"you better get in. we need to talk." She said.

Harold couldn't think of an excuse so he reluctantly got into the carriage, dreading what she'd say next.

"you remember my son, Shrek." She said looking over at Shrek who was currently staring straight at him.

"Shrek? Is that you? Oh its been ages, my word you've grown into a handsome fellow! W-w-when did you get back?" Harold asked trying to make conversation him.

"oh, about 5 minutes ago actually." He answered and then said nothing else, going back to staring at him evilly.

"see Harold, we made a deal. Many years ago, do you remember?" she asked now looking at him, herself.

Harold nodded and looked at the floor. "but Fairy God Mother, how do you plan on getting Shrek and Fiona together?" Harold asked.

Fairy God Mother smirked evilly. "this is where you come in." she said. Harold looked confused and then she continued by asking "does Fiona have a diary?"

"yes, yes she does!" Harold said in reply. "why exactly?" he asked more concerned than before.

"what was Fiona taught to expect as she grew up? What kind of rescuer was she told she would get?" Fairy God Mother asked him.

"um, brown hair brown eyes. Strong handsome and rich." He replied counting the things off using his fingers.

"and what did she get?" Fairy God Mother asked.

"blond, blue eyed and poor. Though, he is attractive, have you seen some of them girls running after him?" Harold answered.

"Harold, that's enough. Now, what ever Fiona has written in her diary is what she wanted in a prince. What did she want?" she asked him.

"blond hair blue eyed." He replied.

"not any more she wont!" she said. Harold looked puzzled.

"I don't understand" he said.

"the plan is simple you see, you give me her diary and I will change what she wrote about her blond saviour, into the image of shrek. Then you make sure Charming has a look at her diary. You then suggest Charming sees me about it, then we will figure out a way of disposing of Charming. Shrek will take Charming's place as Fiona's husband, and the excuse of why he has changed will be because he read her diary and wanted to be the man she always wanted. Understood?" Fairy God Mother asked.

"yes." Harold said simply as the carriage pulled up where it came from and Harold got out without another word.

A/N: good? Bad? Please review and I need you help. After I've finished this, should I write another Shrek fic? Thanks, ~iPurpleheart xx