Ziva made a beeline for her refrigerator as she slammed the front door behind her. While filling out paperwork all afternoon, she had come to a decision. The apartment was empty, which she'd expected; Ray's car hadn't been parked outside when she'd arrived home. He must have gone back to Langley, even after saying they wouldn't need him until at least Monday. Even when he was here, he wasn't. She gave up trying to find a bottle opener and used her keys to open the beer she'd grabbed. Cold and bitter, it gave her something different to focus on.

She was busily focusing on the foam rising in the neck of a second bottle when the door swung open. Ray maneuvered awkwardly to close it while maintaining his one-handed grip on a large paper bag. He'd changed out of his suit at some point, so it was unlikely he'd been at work; oddly, that didn't make her like changing her mind. She surreptitiously pushed her empty first beer bottle out of sight. He smiled brightly. "Hey, you're home early. I ran out to the grocery store." He produced a large bouquet of pink roses from behind his back. "And the florist."

"They are lovely." She took the grocery bag rather than the flowers.

He set the bouquet on the counter beside her beer. "There's a couple more bags, so I'll just run down to the car for those."

"You did not have to buy…"

"You're letting me stay here, it's the least I can do. I got steak for tonight, so I can guarantee it'll be better than the lamb fiasco."

"Ray…"

He leaned over the counter to peck her cheek. "Be right back."

She didn't try to call him back this time. The bag he'd brought up contained mostly items that needed to be refrigerated. The steak he'd mentioned was at the very bottom, under bags of asparagus, broccoli and peppers. It was a large top sirloin, dripping red juices through the ripped plastic wrapped tightly around it. She made a disgusted noise and dropped it on the cutting board beside the sink. Using two knives from the top drawer, she cut away the packaging and took out the steak without touching either further. It hit the wooden board with a heavy splat. The plastic and Styrofoam tray went into the garbage. She dropped the two knives on either side of the steak on the board.

The water from the faucet warmed up just in time for her to finish washing her hands with the last of the dish soap. She left the tap running and leaned against the counter. With her head tipped forward, her hair came close to brushing the meat. Her beer was a few steps away, but, much as she wanted it, she remained frozen in place.

She was still there, watching her hair swing over the shining raw red flesh, when Ray returned. "Got the rest. Whoa, you must be hungry. I'll turn on the oven and…"

She interrupted him, "I cannot do this."

"Don't worry, I'm gonna make dinner." She heard the sound of glass clinking and paper rustling as he set two more bags on the counter. "Ziva?"

"Not…dinner."

"I don't…"

"Us, Ray." She finally turned away from the meat to face him. He looked mildly surprised.

"Is this about this morning? Because you were right. I promised you that I'd be around for two weeks and that we could go away this weekend and that I wouldn't have to work and…"

"It is…would you like a drink?"

"Am I going to need one?"

"Probably. Yes."

"Okay, then." She walked to the living room with her beer and sat down while he made himself a gin and tonic. He didn't join her on the sofa, but opted for the chair. "Well?"

She took a deep breath. "My expectations are not fair to you."

"Um…"

"You have serious commitments with your job, which I have known from the start. I knew I wanted to be with someone who could be close, be here most of the time, but because you are you…I love you. I thought we could make it work."

He took a sip of his drink and nodded slowly. "You want me to take a less active role with the CIA. An analyst or something. A desk job."

"No." She reached for his hand, but he pulled it away. "I would not ask for that."

"Then what?"

"I think we need to accept that…we are not right for each other."

"How can you say that? You're perfect for me! I've never met anyone so…so…" He forcefully placed his glass on the coffee table. "I'm transferring. They need someone on the Cuba desk. I won't be going further than Miami for that, so my Mamá will be happy about that, too."

"I will not let you do that."

"Ziva, I'm trying to…"

"I know." An unnatural calm came over her. Now that she had stated her intentions, the complications had melted away. "Please do not make this harder than it already is."

"I don't think you're listening. I'm willing to do whatever it takes so I can be with you. Hell, I'll quit the CIA and get a job somewhere else entirely if that's what you want."

"I cannot let you rearrange your whole life. You will just end up resenting me."

"I won't."

"You are good at what you do. I know that you never talk about it, but…it is something I can recognize in other…professionals. And as someone who has walked away from that life, I also know that it is not something you can leave until you make the choice. I know you are not ready."

"Ziva…" He slid out of his chair to his knees. "I didn't just buy an empty box, you know."

She felt her resolve waver as he produced a sparking diamond ring from his pocket. "Ray…"

"I thought about getting it engraved, but I didn't know what to…" He slipped the ring onto his own little finger; it caught just beyond the first knuckle. He leaned forward, resting his arms on her thighs. "Maybe I knew, deep down…"

She smiled sadly, not even disappointed that he was not fighting her. "The time we have actually been together has been wonderful."

"I wish…I wish things were different. I should probably tell you that the Company needs me overseas by Sunday anyway. I was dreading telling you that, but I guess it's moot now."

"I am sorry."

"Me too." He dropped his head into her lap. "Will you think less of me if I suggest goodbye sex?"

"It is very tempting, but…"

"Yeah, I know." He sighed and pushed himself to his feet. "So…I should go."

"Do you want me to…?"

"I can pack up my stuff. I'd, um, hate for the steak to go to waste, though."

"You pack, I will cook."

Dinner was not tense, but the conversation was decidedly shallow. Luckily, the weather had been somewhat unpredictable of late. She saw him to the door without suggesting dessert. They both stood in the open doorway. This was it. The end. He set his suitcase on the threshold. "Can I call you?"

"I think it may be best if we do not…" she stopped herself. The thought of cutting him out of her life completely hurt more than she had expected. "Not for a while, at least."

"Yeah. Yeah." He tilted his head. Their last kiss was far more tentative than their first had been. She savored the feel of his soft lips. He pulled back first. "I do love you, Ziva."

"That is why we…" Suddenly, all she wanted was to pull him back inside, drag him to the bedroom and…no. She steeled herself and forced a smile. "I will miss you."

"If I ever do settle down…"

"Yes. Goodbye, Ray."

"Ziva…goodbye."

She closed the door softly behind him.