A/N: THANK YOU for all the reviews :D 'specially to those who have been reviewing all the way thru, and first-timers!! And "Amy" who recognized the BtVS nod; it is fo' sho' one of my favorite shows and inspires me a lot as I write.

and OH MY GOSH ya'll, I am SO sorry it took so long to update; I am seriously appalled by my ridiculous procrastination, but my classes are done for the semester and I am definitely devoting a crapload of time to this story over the next month...

That being said, the angst is going to last a little longer...all I can ask is that ya'll trust me. Also, I've tried to explain the timeline a little better; there's a v literal one at the end of the chapter, just in case. I love ya'll and I hope ya'll are still reading :D

Disclaimer: All these awesome characters belong to the equal awesome Charlaine Harris.

____________


Sookie POV

I continued to gape at Vivienne, not even caring how I might have looked. She sneered at me and called over her statuesque shoulder, "Eric, your whore is here."

My jaw snapped shut resolutely. I would not cry. And I would not curse at a pregnant lady. My gran had raised me to act better than that. I was better than that.

Vivienne gave me one last scornful look before turning around and gliding away. Couldn't she at least waddle properly, like a pregnant woman is supposed to?? I asked myself a little desperately. I didn't want to go inside of Eric's home with her there, so I waited for him to come to the door.

Finally, he was standing in front of me, but his eyes, usually so bright and vivacious, were now lackluster orbs, and he refused to meet my distressed, confused expression. His head was hung low, his posture stooped, and I was torn between wanting to hug him and wanting to slap him. I settled for the former.

I threw myself against him. My arms wrapped around his torso and squeezed. My head was pressed against his chest as I inhaled deeply. It was such a relief when his own arms fell around me and returned my embrace. For a bittersweet moment, it was just Eric and I, and the soft nighttime chattering of the crickets.

He pulled away, and looked down at me.

"Can we talk down at the pond?"

I nodded somberly and he led the way.

Once we had settled on our bench, facing each other, Eric took my hands in his and looked at me. He seemed so much older than his twenty-five years; he gave the impression of carrying the weight of the world, and it made me ache for him.

"When I went to Austin, originally it was because Vivienne was disputing the amount of alimony with which I was providing her. She wanted more and claimed to have a valid reason to support her request."

He paused and gripped my hands tighter.

"You have to believe me: I had no idea that she was pregnant...but I did feel like something wasn't quite right about the situation. When we ran into her in late September, she was already four months along but not showing." He broke off, and squeezed his large hands, tightening them around mine them like he was afraid I might flee at the slightest provocation.

"...which is why now, two months later, her pregnancy is so evident. The man she was with that night, Alcide, was led, for a substantial amount of time, to believe that it was his child. But they have only been together for three months, and obviously the math didn't add up."

An unfamiliar look crossed his face, and it took me a moment to realize that it was one of uncertainty.

"I don't know if this baby is mine, Sookie. And I have no idea how to handle this situation."

I swallowed my disappointment (and hope? or expectation?) as he continued.

"It's true that Vivienne and I are legally divorced, and due to her numerous infidelities, there is a great chance that I am not the father of this child."

An irrational urge to giggle hysterically rose in my throat but I quashed it; the whole thing was like a bad episode of Maury or Jerry Springer. Instead I restrained myself and cautiously ventured to speak.

"I don't understand why she's here, then, Eric...in your house?"

He looked at me for a long moment before responding.

"Because if this is my child...Sookie, I can't just abandon it. I can't just abandon her."

I couldn't help it. I let out a scornful laugh. His posture quickly became defensive and his expression grew frosty.

"Eric, she lied to you and cheated on you, and you're...what? Just going to welcome her with open arms?" I spat out angrily.

I withdrew from his hands and his embrace, as hot tears brimmed in my eyes. My hands gestured wildly as I struggled internally to hang on to some semblance of self-control.

"Don't shut me out! You don't get to do that again! I've been here with you every step of the way, trying to understand and be supportive; how can you throw that away like its nothing?"

He rose off the bench and walked towards the edge of the pier, with his back to me, as I followed him and continued a little desperately.

"Please don't do this to yourself. You know how it's going to end up, Eric."

He turned and looked at me with pure anguish in his eyes. His voice cracked as he admitted, "I'm sorry, Sookie, if there's even the remote chance this could be my child, I have to take responsibility for it."

I replied earnestly, "And you should! But that doesn't mean you have to be with her, Eric!"

He snapped at me in frustration. "So I should raise my child in a broken home? Or better yet, you're going to drop everything and help me raise a baby?" He barked out a short, bitter laugh and I reeled, feeling like I had been slapped.

Hot tears pooled in my eyes and finally spilled onto my cheeks. "Yes," I whispered. "Yes, I would do anything for you. But apparently you don't feel the same way about me."

Instead of showing remorse like I had expected, Eric was furious. The only other time I had seen such a reaction was when Quinn had tried to take advantage of me.

He let out a barrage of insults, beginning with, "For fuck's sake, don't cry, you know I can't deal with that shit, Sookie."

He cupped my shoulders roughly and spoke even more harshly.

"You are just a girl and this is not a game. Why don't you understand? Our futures and an innocent child's future are at stake. You have to stop indulging these ridiculous fantasies of us playing house. Life isn't a fucking picnic; being a parent is a real responsibility and commitment. You are simply too young to comprehend all that it entails."

I saw red; literally, small red dots flashed in front of my eyes. I pushed him away from me with a surprising amount of force, and he stumbled backwards.

"You...you....you bastard," I sobbed angrily. "How dare you...that I'm an idiot? That I'm ridiculous?" I babbled for a moment until I grasped maliciously at this little gem of a sentiment:

"I'm enough of an adult for you to fuck me like one," I spat out viciously, and judging from Eric's heavy, guilty look, I knew I had hit my mark, low as it was. But I was hurting so badly, and doubting him and everything I had been so sure of, and maybe he was right that I am too idealistic and immature...maybe I'm not good enough...

And it always, always, always came back to that.

I felt worthless and used and angry and betrayed and a whole mess of emotions that I had rarely experienced before, and never at the same time, except for when Bill had...I couldn't finish the thought.

In my confusion and unhappiness, one thing suddenly seemed clear. I had reached my capacity for understanding that evening, so I gave into my most base instincts.

I fled.

He called after me, once, twice, three times. First Sookie, then Susannah, even lover, as he asked me to return. But it was too late. My faith in him was broken.

I was broken.

******

Eric POV

The nightmare began when I first saw Vivienne at the courthouse. As she walked towards me with her lawyer, and I realized that she was pregnant, I felt like I might throw up. (At the time, the irony was totally lost on me.) She was obviously pretty far along; I wondered how I hadn't noticed it before when we ran into them outside of the restaurant.

With minimal prompting from her lawyer, the she-devil offered the entire story inside the mediation room. It was unbelievable how proud and arrogant she still was, even though she was in such a shameful situation. Not only did she not know who the father was, but her fiancée had dumped her after realizing that she had lied about his potential paternity. So here she was, essentially penniless, begging for more money from the ex-husband she had cheated on.

Not that you would have known this by the distant, haughty expression on her icy features.

My lawyer advised me not to give her a dime until a DNA test could be taken. And I was goddamn tempted to listen to him. But when I thought of the child...that it might be my child...Vivienne was a piss-poor excuse for a human being; the idea of her being a mother was downright laughable.

Instead, I rashly offered to let her to live with me until the baby was born and the paternity was determined. (Some kind of test could be taken before the baby was born, an amnio-something-or-other, but it carried potential complications. If it was my baby, it would be a terribly selfish and truly unthinkable to put him or her at risk for my own personal benefit.)

Providing for Vivienne was the only way I could ease my own conscience; but from the moment she had entered the house and criticized the decor, I began to regret my decision.

Arrangements had been constructed so quickly and had made me so busy that I had neglected the one person who had given my life significance in the past few months. I didn't even try to think about how to explain. There was not a single aspect of these events that made sense to me; how could they make sense to her?

I caught a glimpse of Sookie once or twice at school, but I'll admit that the idea of telling her that my entire world was upside down was not an appealing one. I felt trapped in a soap opera, and not a good one, at that. (A teacher, who is having a relationship with his student, finds out his unfaithful ex-wife is pregnant? It was wrong on so many levels.)

Vivienne continued to grate on my nerves every second I was home; she was relentlessly demanding and critical. She caused me to question my own sanity repeatedly as I frustratedly wondered how I could have ever married such a monster, and furthermore, allowed it to take advantage of me after initially abusing my loyalty in such a cruel way.

I was absolutely miserable; but one very large part of me thought that I completely deserved it, as a sort of punishment for what I was about to put Sookie through.

When Vivienne opened the door that night, I completely tuned out whatever she said to Sookie because I was so conflicted at seeing her. This was not how I had wanted Sookie to find out, and I still had no idea what to say to her or how she might react.

But God, she was so incredibly beautiful and pure and kind, standing there under the bright porch light like my own personal savior. Her flaxen locks shone and, even in a simple grey cardigan and jeans, she radiated elegance. She seemed to possess a distinctly ethereal quality despite her shocked, hurt expression; underneath her concern and confusion existed an assuredness and a faith that things would work out like they should.

She was the essence of innocence. She was breathtaking.

And I was going to ruin her.

Nothing Vivienne had done or could do to me was worse than being forced to acknowledge that fact. I was so choked with emotion and disgusted with myself that I couldn't look her in the eye.

And when she hugged me with hardly a moment's hesitation, I felt a level of self-loathing and hatred so fierce that I almost turned to Vivienne and yelled for her to get the fuck out. Instead, I inhaled the sweet, soft scent of my Sookie. She is still mine, I thought irrationally and hopefully, she is still mine.

But when we talked down at the pond, I only made things worse. I was still unsure that I was doing the right thing with Vivienne, and seeing Sookie, being near her again, weakened my resolve. It made me furious with myself and with the hopeless situation I found myself in, and like a total asshole, I redirected my fury towards her.

When Sookie offered to give up everything for me, I knew that she was serious and something inside of me just...snapped. She was too good to be with someone like me; she should never have to compromise her bright future for someone so wholly undeserving as myself.

The worst part was that I had no doubt that Sookie would have sacrificed her future for me, and moreover that she probably wouldn't have considered a sacrifice, because she was that kind of person.

And selfishly, I wanted to accept her offer because I am another kind of person.

So I said things, horrible things, that I didn't mean and that weren't true, because I was furious with myself and unable to express it in any other way than my misguided, pathetic, and cruel comments to her. It was almost ironic that I had accused her of being immature.

Although her words disturbed me greatly, she had been absolutely correct in implying that I had treated her like an adult before, and that my accusations were completely irrational.

I cursed my temper, cursed Vivienne, cursed my inability to tell Sookie everything that was truly important. Like that I was terrified of being a father, and afraid of losing her, and more grateful to her than she could ever know for showing me that a pure, good love could exist.

In less than a week, I had foolishly thrown away happiness with both hands. And to complete my torture, I would still see Sookie every single day at school before having to return to Vivienne every afternoon.

If I had tried, I could not have invented a worse punishment. And yet I deserved every moment of it.

The only redeeming thing I had done, and I mean only, was to release Sookie from any obligation to me. If this unhappy tie with Vivienne was going to exist for a long, long time, at least Sookie was no longer implicated.

She is resilient. She will move on and make someone else, who was worthy of her, a very happy man, I thought sadly.

**************


Sookie POV

I didn't feel like I had when Eric had broken up with me that first time. I didn't feel like I had when Bill had left me.

It was odd but I felt...nothing.

I was so entirely removed from myself that if I had been capable of feeling something, I might have been frightened by how numb I actually was.

I drove home, coasting on instinct, not registering the people who I had known my entire life waving at me as I passed the drugstore and Main Street. I parked in the driveway and floated into my grandmother's house. Like a ghost, I glided silently up the stairs and into my room. I closed the door softly behind me and lay supine on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling until the darkness outside yielded to a dusty sunrise.

And still I felt nothing.

I tried so very hard not to think. Because I knew that the second, the very second that I thought about it, the numbness would succumb to pain. And it would not be the familiar pain of a deep sadness that I might eventually be able to overcome, but instead the utter anguish of a raw, gushing wound that could never be healed, that would poison my entire being.

My alarm rang and I sat up and pressed the button down to silence it. It was Tuesday morning and I would have to see Eric at school for the rest of the week. And the semester. And the school year.

Lord, please give me strength, I prayed wearily.

******

Timeline: Eric discovered Viv's infidelity in late June and by some miraculous event, they're divorced by early August. School started; Sookie and Eric went on their first official date in late September/early October. This episode occurred around Thanksgiving, in the last week of November.

Viv was "knocked up" in early June, and was pregnant through then and July, August, September, October, November. She was about four months along when Eric and Sookie saw her, but the pregnancy didn't become obvious until a full two months later.

Er, I've never been pregnant so please feel free to let me know if this explanation is just beyond ridiculous :)

********

Coming up: WTF!!???!!!!! BILL IS BACK?!?!!!??!!! WHY GOD WHY???? (Are you on crack, Messa?)

No, I'm not, but Sookie might be a little OOC.......I've just got to write what I know, which is that heartbroken young girls make very bad mistakes sometimes.