Yuuki stared at the blank white wall for the longest time.
How much longer will this take? She rubbed her arms through the thin paper gown that the doctor had given her and pondering on whether to change back in her regular clothes.
Then again, she didn't want to wear those outfits.
Zero had helped pick them out.
And she didn't want to be reminded of Zero.
The door opened and Ruka entered the room with a gentle sigh.
"Yuuki-san, I have some bad news." She settled in a revolving chair that the vampire doctor had sat in, as Yuuki stayed perched on the observation table.
"You're not pregnant, that's a good thing. You're unmarried and Kuruizaki-san isn't your fiancé." Yuuki had gotten use to Ruka's blunt way of putting things and because they'd become so close she really didn't mind.
Yuuki smiled a little and sighed. "It's a good thing Purebloods can't conceive easily." Ruka frowned and her beautiful face seemed to age a few years.
"That's the bad news, Yuuki; the doctor said…in the future it will be difficult for you to have children." Yuuki was not fazed.
"My mother already told me that when the time comes for children, I'd always have to try a little harder."
"Yes, yes, I know but…" Ruka sighed heavily, she didn't want to be the one to tell her this, but now that they had to kill that doctor, she was the only one who could. "Pakku-hakase said you were infertile and that you may never be able to have children."
On the outside Yuuki's face was impersonally blank, but on the inside trauma had set in. The girl inside who was always screaming because of the emotions she had to keep locked up, Ruka, Kaname and…Zero had seen short flashes of this girl but she was never fully revealed.
"Pakku-hakase said you were infertile and that you may never be able to have children." The words echoed and repeated themselves in Ruka's distressed voice.
"…and we had to kill him."
"What?" Yuuki realized that Ruka was still talking.
"We had to kill him." Ruka repeated. "This can't get out. This stays between your family and whomever you trust with this secret."
"Is there any possible way he could have made a mistake?" It took all she had to keep her voice from cracking.
"Your still young…you may still have a chance for heirs."
"And what if I can't?"
"You will."
"But what if I can't?"
"Wait and see."
"Ruka!" Yuuki locked eyes with the other female. "What. If. I. Can't?"
"You'll have to talk to Kaname-sama about that…"
"No." Yuuki said softly. "No one will know. We are not going to tell him about this."
"Yuuki-sama," Ruka started to panic. "You have to,"
"No I don't." She jumped down from the table. "Ruka, I don't want him or anyone else to think any less of me. If the Council finds out, they'll arrange Kaname with someone else. If anyone finds out they'll all just push me aside and forget I ever existed." Tears started to work up in her eyes. "You won't tell anyone."
Ruka stared at the princess in silence and found that she was right. If any of the Elder's dogs found out they would try to convince Kaname with someone who could bare children.
"And, as you said, I'm still young. I still may have a chance." Yuuki's eyes were pleading and full of emotion, so much hurt.
This would destroy her. One more wrong twist of faint and her soul will break. Ruka never felt so sympathetic in her life, already she was starting to think of the princess as a little sister. Again in that moment they were equal, and the elder girl would have to do another rare act of kindness for this girl.
"As you wish, I won't breathe a word."
"Thank you." Yuuki sighed. "I'm going to get dressed and then we'll go back to the hotel and continue on our way home." Ruka bowed and exited the room and Yuuki redressed, still not being able to shake the new knowledge spinning in her mind.
Although a small sliver of hope was in her heart, the princess knew:
She'd never be a mother.
She'd never have her own son or daughter.
She'd never produce an heir for the Kuran throne.
Silently she kissed good-bye all the little babies she'd never hold, never feed, never name.
Kuruizaki
The dark limonene drove down the twisted road in the middle of the night, but the drive and his passenger were accustomed to the dark.
The young prince especially.
Everything Ruka had said to him had been repeating in his mind for the past few days and what's worse he hadn't gotten to say sorry to Yuuki or see her off.
Had I hurt her that much? His mind made images of Yuuki crying and each one became a stab to his heart. He'd never seen Yuuki cry.
He'd seen her upset and angry and, most of the time, happy.
But tears, he couldn't imagine them on her angelic face.
"Master? We have arrived." Nodding Zero exited the car and started across the gravel path to the house, leaving the chauffeur to his bags.
Another thing dwindled in his mind.
"And torn between Kaname and you. She loves you…"
Zero had the reputation of a woman killer. He fell in love easily.
Amu…
Maria…
Ruka…
Yuuki…But with her it felt different; new.
This girl truly, and unconditionally, loved him back.
Even as a Pureblood flaws were inevitable and Yuuki loved him even though his past was tainted and the blood of many people painted it red.
He didn't deserve her.
She shouldn't even like him.
I'm a horrible person and…
No sooner than he'd stepped into the foyer, Maria had attacked him with a hug.
"Onii-sama! Your home!" Putting on his best no-teeth smile, Zero slung an arm around her. Maria looked up at him with her own smile. "I've missed you. But now your back and you're not leaving our sight."
My precious sister.
"We'll see about that." He spotted Ichiru leaning in the archway, arms crossing his chest, his face sour.
"You had us worried, brother." Zero smirked at his twin's tone.
"What? Are you going to give me the cold shoulder because you're not the man of the house anymore?" That made Ichiru smile and he strode forward and clapped Zero's shoulder.
"Maybe a little, it was fun."
My kind brother.
Ichiru laughed and for a moment every was back to the way it was before marriage and power ruled their lives. It was a more peaceful time: when their father was alive and they all slept in Zero's room because, even in their teen years, thunder storms and the thought of being alone scared them all to bits.
As usual, Shizuka was absent from this her warming moment.
"C'mon, Okaa-sama wants to see you." Maria released her brother and trotted ahead down the corridor to their mother's bedroom.
Shizuka never went to see people; people always went to see her, as she had put it. But when she had to meet someone she said that she was going somewhere so she could be seen, not because of beckon call.
A little self centered, maybe.
Maria threw open the double doors and revealed the smoky room with burgundy curtains and other dark colors. Books scattered across the floor, along with clothes and other various articles of clothing. The bed was unmade and the comforter ripped off the bed and lay across an elegant couch.
Everything else in the room was dark and shadowed, almost too much for the vampire eyes, but the three could sense someone inside.
Hopefully their mother.
Shizuka never let any of the maids touch this room. She said it smelled too strongly of Iruka for her to part with it and with had been his room growing up.
"M-mother?" Maria called about to step onto the dark red carpet.
"Stop…" They all froze into place.
What they saw first was a long trail of snow white hair pulled back into a braid decorated with cherry blossoms. Her hair reminded them of Rapunzel from a book Iruka use to read to them when they were children.
Then the silver and pink colored kimono that was fitted loosely, like Shizuka had tied the elaborate patterned obi herself.
Her face was pale as a sheet and her pink eyes seemed almost hollow, like all emotions were taken from her.
With startling speed the Madly Blooming Princess swept forward and smacked her defiant son across his face, proving that she too was strong enough to knock his head sideways like very few could.
Maria almost jumped to keep her brother from falling and Ichiru was just too shocked that Shizuka had smacked their brother to be much of help.
"Ow…" Zero pulled his hand away to look at the drops of red that lingered on his fingertips. His gaze casted upward at the fuming woman who seemed to be ten feet tall now.
"Mother, why…!"
"No, Maria, I deserved that." Zero cut his sister off; he stood tall and waited for her next blow. It was better than lying on the ground, that's how she did real damage.
"Do you have any idea," Shizuka started, her voice laced with anger. Zero almost cringed, her chastising voice was heard many times during his childhood, but never had she sounded this angry. "…how worried I was?"
What had shocked him more was when his mother wrapped her arms around him in a crushing embrace.
My theatrical, loving mother.
They all loved him unconditionally as well.
He hugged back as he found a finish to his earlier statement.
I'm a horrible person and…I don't deserve love.
Yes, another angst chapter and a little fluff and drama.
-Sigh- Yuki's inability to have children will be a problem in the future because the next chapter is a TIME SKIP! And as cruel as it sounds I've been wanting to write that chapter for awhile now, I read another FanFic (one about Katara and Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Yes, I am a Zutaraian and in my mind Maiko does not exist!) It was very sad and very well written and very 'dark' (as the author puts it). But it has a happy ending were Katara says she took a birth control pill and she has a full pregnancy and gives birth to a son.
Anyways, Review!
Flames = Hate. Hate = Ugly soul or a very outspoken mind.
~QueenVamp